Why do we do it ?

[Jayne]

I have been cross dresing on and off for many years.
I am now 44 and still can not break the urges.
My earliest recollection of wearing things not designed for men was a girls shoes at school. I liked the buzz I got and it was like a compulsion to try different things.
I had sisters and my friend next door had an older sister too, she would pass on shoes and clothes for my sisters to dress up in. we had an out side toilet and I would hid the clothes in there as though they had dropped them then when no one was about I would go in and try them on.
I once did my early morning paper round (winter time) dressed in girls underwear, skirt, blouse and my big sisters long boots I had a pair of jeans a top and my trainers in my paper bag. As the day light came on I panicked and changed back in a park toilet ( I was so scared I used the ladies).
My wife is out today and as I am off work I have taken the time topaint my toenails and slip into a pair of stockings, sandles and a black nighty I bought and hid weeks ago.
Sorry if you are bored but I needed to get this off my chest. :rolleyes:

[Tristen Cox]

Firstly Welcome to the forum, seeing as this is your introductory post. Second, you're not alone here. We all started for different reasons at different times. Why do we do it? Choices. Right or wrong we all have that power. Why do some people like to waterski? It's a choice. Why do you ride a bike when your car is waiting in the driveway? It's a choice. Even if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice. Choices are who we are and how we go from one thing to another. We cannot live without them. Now that you're here you'll see more and more how others choose the course of things and also how the deal with them. May it help you to prosper.:)


Love
T

[Sharon]

Welcome to the forum Jayne, it's a nice introduction.

I have some bad news for you though Jayne -- you're not going to break the urge..., not really..., nope, not gonna happen. :)

[Carrah]

You are 44-years-old. Most women who are of the same age and who have experienced a menstrual cycle every month for perhaps as long as 32 years of their life, cannot tell you the first thing about it or even when exactly it's coming on. They have no concept of what happens within their own bodies when this time of the month comes and when asked when their monthly cycle is or when their last one was, they usually respond with a vague answer.

Men are generally in possession of a greater degree of logic than women. Men possess the logic, while women possess the capacity to multi-task; doing laundry while cooking, cleaning the house, taking care of the kids, etc. Me, I'll sit the kids down and tie them up if I have to, then clean the house, then do the laundry when the house is done, then cook dinner when I'm through with the laundry, cleaning up one mess before starting a new mess.

As a logical being, it is compelling to know as much about ones self as possible. Ask a woman where her kidney or liver is and she likely won't be able to tell you. Conversely, ask a man this same question and he'll likely be able to point right to either one.

Cross-dressing is our desire to know more about ourselves; to see what we are capable of looking like and getting away with - pushing our potential - an effort to be our best with respect to every aspect of our lives. It is an effort to know what the other sex feels and experiences when they are dressed; a comparative analysis - to know more about ourselves requires that we know more about the other side.

Men require contrast and rely upon contrast for information. Being logical beings means we tend to deal in 1's and 0's, right or wrong, black or white, true or false, etc. Establishing this rule requires that we understand both sides of mankind or of any given issue.

Sure, we ask ourselves why we do this, but the answer to this question is always right there in front of us; we do it to resolve unanswered questions...

[Sandra H]

Ask a woman where her kidney or liver is and she likely won't be able to tell you.

I must have the mind of a woman because most of that went over my head, but I do know where my liver and kidneys are. They are in a pie in the oven with some steak; I am having it for dinner tonight with a few potatoes, carrots and broccoli. Then for sweet you will never guess, it’s a homemade apple pie with custard I got the recipe from my woman’s own magazine. Oh sorry I am rambling or should I say I had a girly moment?

I have just had a nice thought, I have the mind of a woman, and it’s just a pity the rest of me is like a man. :mad: :(

[Dominique Melt]

I long ago stopped asking myself why I do it. I have been to shrinks, shamans and charlatans and they basically come up with the Big Bupkes -- nada.
It comes down to one thing, really: I like it.
I once had a GG lover who, when I dressed for her, was absolutely floored, but in a good way. She gushed [and I paraphrase here]: "You must love women so much as to want to be be like one!" Needless to say, I was grateful and was able to reconcile just a bit more of Dominique to my masculine self.

Just this past week, I came out to my sister and parents. My parents have known for years that I had CD tendencies; my sister used to let me borrow all her Danskin tights. They did not know the real meaty part of my issue, i.e., my bisexual fantasies. I came out because the emotional pressure of keeping this essential part of me had taken its toll: excess alcohol and substance use, which led to losing two decent jobs and many other things.

Don't ask yourself 'why'. Ask yourself 'how high?' you can go knowing you are freer and you are that much closer to your true nature. I know that a lot of my anger, rage, desperation, frustration is now evaporating, as the emotional stress of staying closeted has been released.

Celebrate your humanity -- you have taken a giant step toward being a complete human being. You deserve kudos, not guilt. Out Creator loves us and this is the way we were made. I and all the girls here applaud your courage and we are all here to support you.

Rock on, beautiful lady, rock on.

[wendy]

Why do we CD ? Hmmm, that is a good question.

I can safely say, from personal experience, I have tried many time to quell these urges to CD, but each and everytime I fail miserable and I am finding the urge to CD is becoming stronger and stronger each day. I am at the point where I accept this feminine side of me.

As to why CD ? To me, I find it is an excellent way to relieve the daily stress of life (work, rush hour traffic, home chores, ...) Dressing up allows me to relax, as the feeling of smooth satin/nylon against the skin is very relaxing to me.

As well, it allows me to explore how the other sex lives, what they go thru when they dress up, ...

And finally, I find women's clothing to be much more exciting, a huge variety of styles to choose from. On the other hand, men's clothes are drab, pants, shirt, and that is it. The biggest decision is whether to wear boxers or tighty whities.

For women, there is a plethora of choices, thongs, granny panties, high cuts, bikini cuts, camisoles, girdles, skirts (long, medium, short), the choices are endless.

[Holly]

Jayne,

Firstly, welcome to the forum. Looks like you've been checking it out for awhile. Glad you finally decided to speak up.

Why do we dress? Wow. come up with an answer to that and you'll win the grand prize. The plain fact of the matter is that there is no one reason why men like to dress in women's clothing. One will tell you it's the sexual excitement they feel when wearing panties. The next will say the colors and textures are appealing. The next will tell you wearing women's clothing calms and relaxes them... and on and on it goes. Basically I think it's pretty simple, at least for me. Wearing women's clothes makes me feel good about myself. And it helps me to bring out the traits in myself that I admire. When wearing the clothing it's okay to have a softness and a vunerability about myself. It's okay to nuture and be compassionate. It's okay to be silly and giggle. That's it. Honestly, would we do it if it made us feel bad about ourselves?
Just my two cents. But whatever the reason(s) you come up with for yourself, grab onto it for all your worth and enjoy the ride!

[wendy]

Just my two cents. But whatever the reason(s) you come up with for yourself, grab onto it for all your worth and enjoy the ride!
Very well said ! :D

[new2jersey]

Wow, this is the ultimate question for each of us. And I have though about it many times, as I'm sure we all have. I believe we all do it for many different reasons. I have many reasons myself.
Around 7 was the first time I ever put on a panty which also happens to be the first time I ever ejaculated. And for a while, I thought the only way to "get that feeling" back, was to wear my sister's black lace panties. Boy, did I always look for them! :D Then naturally I had to try on a bra. But once I put on lipstick, I was in heaven! I was so hooked! I would steal my aunt's sample lipsticks from Avon when ever I could.
Another reason for me, is acceptance. See, I grew up in a house hold of girls, my mom, three sisters and on the first floor, my aunt and my two cousins. I was the first born grandson. Growing up with five girls, being the only boy, I felt like such an outsider. Plus my dad was always working, and my aunt & uncle were divorced. So I was always around girls (including my mom's 2 other sisters), until my boy cousin was born, when I was around 9.
And finally the last reason. Even though I'm a boy, and like being a macho boy, there is a girl inside me. I like letting her out, so she can express all my emotions. Being a boy you always have to suck it up, can cry at a movie, but you know, sometimes crying at a movie is good. I have always gotten along well with woman. My two best friends at work a woman.
I tried to repress the CD feeling, which I did for most of my marriage. But now I'm single and have the time and resources to explore my femme side. Which I owe to this very website which made me realize, I'm not alone. There are so many GREAT people out there! Plus all the great tips, links and conversation has made my journey that much easier! Thank you to all!

[Ava Mouse]

http://www.geocities.com/KarenSpecial/bugs.html

[windycissy]

I think we are more inquisitive than the average guy, and less inhibited of course. When I was younger, the sheer erotic joy from the sensation of wearing those forbidden, sexy clothes was a huge part of it. Now I derive a kind of serenity from transforming myself into a nice-looking woman, and when I pass, it's like I'm the only one in the world who knows this incredible secret. What a rush! No wonder we're hooked. Ask Windy (http://snurl.com/askwindy)

[Sharon]

Wow -- ol' Bugs must certainly have had an effect on me. I used to love seeing him in drag!

[new2jersey]

How could have I forgot my good old buddy Bugs! Ava, thanks for the link.

[MarieTS]

I totally agree with Holly. I think she hit all the high points, minus perhaps one-- Many of us HAVE to dress, because it is who we are internally... women.

[Jayne]

Thanks for the input, I will try to be a better woman.....

[Elinor]

Jayne welcome to the forum.
We all try to become more feminine around here and we need more sisters.
Yes we all had similar stories to tell.
There is no cure. We don't want a cure.
So enjoy crossdressing and being one of the worlds Jane Girls.

Your a normal hetrosexual male.
Well You Are Normal On This Site. :eek:

[Jayne]

MarieTG

Thanks for reading and your thoughts.
I do not believe I am a woman trying to get out but need the feel of female clothing from time to time. I love painting toe nails and hiding them from my wife is such a turn on. One day I will forget I have done this and turn up to play squash with pink nails, this would be a certain come out of the closet I don't feel ready for.
My wife now knows I dress and recently, has reluctantly given me a black bra so I won't stretch hers.
She will go out to allow me time to dress but does not like me to do it when she is home. She dislikes seeing me in female undies.
She will paint my toes nail from time to time prior to an intimate evening, this is the best I can hope for, even though I would eventually like to be intimate while wearing bra, panties, stockings and suspenders and my black sandles.
One can but dream.

[Paula A]

First off - Jayne - welcome to our crazy and fun place.

Pantyum - That story could have been written by me, so I won't write it again.

But back to the question at hand. Why do I do it?

I used to wonder why, I used to deny it and try to put it away. In doing just that has caused great grief, confusion and strife in my own mind.

I have since figured it out and here is my secret....

I dress because.....

I LIKE IT!

That's it, as soon as I stopped trying to figure it out and relised that this is just who I am and it is what this person needs to feel right did I really start to enjoy it. No more feeling ashamed about it after I got back into drab, no depression, no wondering "Am I the only one", "why me" all that crap. Now I just get a bit miserable if I can't spend time dressed for a decent period of time. I still feel guilty at times, Like right after I go shopping for Paula, But I can live with that, the guilt goes away as soon as put on my new clothes.

I owe some of that realisation to everyone here, so stick around and join in the fun.

[katrinafltg]

The why is probably not one reason and the reasons are not all the same for all cd's, tg's, etc. Nature is messy, imperfect. And there are many mutations. I believe that there is a genetic component to the whole thing.
its one hell of a compulsion. I was without a computer for several months. I had gone travelling. But when i got a place and a pc again, wham bam, i was all into it again.
There also has to be a biochemical aspect. its definitely a high. Maybe an addiction. Hard for outsiders to understand.
Its definitely an imperfection but that's the human condition. I'd rather be a crossdresser than have a bad heart. Of course someone with a bad heart might say they'd rather have that than be "an effin queer"

Some girls here will disagree saying its a blessing and such. In and of itself I don't think crossdressing is a good or bad thing anymore than black hair is a good or bad thing. It makes life in our society more difficult because it is not accepted behaviour. It will not be in our lifetime. However by communicating and being organized we can keep each other sane and safe.

The why's no longer mean that much to me. Now its about the hows. How do I live the healthiest life possible? Is engaging in crossdressing making my life better or worse? I'm still working all that out.

Thats my two cents.

[donnie123abc1]

"Why do we do it?" When I saw the title I thought "SEX!"
We do that because we like it !
Crossdressing isn't sex (opinions may differ on this). It has more to do with how we feel inside than what we are wearing outside. It is an inner conflict sometimes that manifests itself in different and sometime bizzare ways.
I've noticed that a lot of us are older than 40 yr (Age is just a number). And we started CDing very young (Some younger than others). But there are common threads that each of us have had. Periods of helplessness, conflict and uncertainty.
These are our mentstrual years (Every girl has them.). We didn't know what was happening and that was scary. Many of us felt isolated, unable to talk to anyone about how we felt.

We spent our whole lives trying to be responsible people, husbands, fathers. And then we hit that brick wall. We try to break thru to get to the otherside, so we can contiue on with our lives. But the wall is strong, built by years of termoil. And so for many this is where they are today. Just standing at the wall. Staring at it. Ready to give up all hope, because of the sheer size of the wall.

I've found that sometimes you have to look backward in order to go forward again.
That isn't easy. Sometimes you have to revisit things that you would rather forget. The past hurts a lot but its nesessary. Don't blame the past. Learn from it. Examine it in moderation, don't dwell on it. By doing this we aquire the tools we need to knock down the wall and move forward. (Be aware that we may encounter other walls. But you'll be ready for them.)


Welcome to the forum, Jayne.
Welcome Home!


Dawn Marrie (Thats Who I Be!)

[trinity24]

Why do we do it? Simple - we were born that way. There is no choice involved. Nobody chooses to be a CD, just like nobody chooses to be straight, gay, white, or black. I believe within 2-3 more decades it will be proven beyond doubt through genetic engineering related discoveries - I know it trhough self-experience. For some of us, it's just a fetish, for other's it's more of a gender issue - either way, we have no choice, but to go with it, anything short of that is defying nature.

[wendy]

More I think about it, could it be the reason we do it is because society views men in women's clothing as taboo ?

You know how if something is taboo it makes you want to do it even more, in this instance CDing. We don't think much if a woman puts on a man's shirt, but if it is the other way around, look out !

[jayne36]

Thanks for the input, I will try to be a better woman.....

Jayne, I ask myself that same question a thousand times. Several times i bought many girlie clothes, felt good and bad at the same time, then i would throw the clothes away and vow not to do it again(cross dress), but it always comes back around. Sometimes i do not know what i am. My suggestion to you, follow your heart. Best of luck and love.
Jayne36
Interesting we both have the same name.