God-child problems

[brylram]

Well, it feels a bit weird to post something this intense so soon after joining, but I'm rather frustrated at the moment, and need somewhere to vent. I am the god-father to a 2 month old baby, and her mother is causing me to have a great deal of concern for the child's safety. She has done foolish and reckless things such as feeding her practically newborn baby cappuccino because she wanted to see her twitch, doing drugs while her child was in her care, acting in such a manner as to be kicked out of her home (including hitting a sibling), and is now under the impression she can pay for an apartment, food, and everything else she may need with a mere $1,800 a month (rent alone is over $1,000 in our city).

I have had discussions with the god-mother about what to do. One option we had considered was moving out of each of our homes to move into an apartment/house with the mother, and work (while attending school full-time) to support her and her child. But we can tell that is a rather hopeless idea, and neither of us is fond of the idea of living with the mother. I have informed the mother I am considering contacting social services, but I'm really not sure if that's the right thing to do, or if I may be overreacting. I'm almost certain I am not overreacting, but she claims I am, and outside opinions would be much appreciated.

Anyway, I'm sorry if this is a bit much for one of my first posts here, but I really am very confused.

[Robin Leigh]

This mother's behaviour does sound worrying. :( She probably does need help. Professional help. I don't know if it's time to call in Social Services, but she should be getting some form of counselling, at the very least.

You are to be commended for your concerns Logan, but I strongly suggest that you don't take this burden onto yourself. By all means, do what you can to assist her & the baby, but you are still young & you have your own life to lead.

Also consider that the mother is quite likely to grow resentful if you & the godmother bond too closely to her child.

I hope that helps,

:hugs:

Robin

[ZenFrost]

I don't think you're overreacting. If the child's life is in danger (which it sounds like it might be), call social services.

Caffeine is not something young children should be having in any quantity, it can be harmful at that age because it can stay in their bodies for days and affect brain development as any drug can. Being a mother requires a tremendous amount of responsibility, and if she can't take care of her child properly she really shouldn't be taking care of her at all. I don't mean to sound heartless, but I think you need to do what you can to get the baby out of that situation before something bad happens.

[GACountrygal]

I'm with Zen on this one.

As a mother of 2 young children, I'm :mad: to hear someone could be so cruel to a child, but it does happen :( sad as it is to say.

Get that child out of such a horrible situation, out of harms way, and into a loving home where she can be nourished, loved and taken care of!

:hugs:
Wish you well,
Nic

[Abraxas]

Mate, I'm with them. You're definitely not overreacting. If I were in your situation, I'd do whatever I could to get the baby away from the mother.
Just remember that some people, if they feel their child may be taken away, will lie very convincingly about the situation. She may deny any and all concerns Social Services may have-- you may want to collect a small stockpile of evidence to make sure they take this case seriously.

And, no problems posting this. We're all here to help each other-- may as well jump right in!

[noname]

I'm with everyone else. A mom giving her baby caffine to watch the baby twitch.. well... something is definately not right. As for moving in, I would remove myself from the persons life. Last thing you need is to be in the company of someone who is involved with drugs. I think you can get charged should you be in their company if they get busted.

[Tamara Croft]

I think you already know the answer, the baby needs removing from her, ring the social services. If she has already given the baby caffiene just to see him/her twitch, what is she going to do next, feed the baby drugs?? Before this baby ends up dead (sorry that's harsh), you as the babys God Father needs to do something now, she isn't in any fit state to have a child...

[Cai]

I'm in agreement as well. This woman needs help, and she certainly doesn't need a baby. You're in a position to help the baby by calling in Social Services.

But I agree with the evidence collection first. I have a cousin whose ex-husband was abusive to her and her baby, and the ex still has partial custody of the baby because no one can prove the abuse.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Just goes to prove any person with a sex organ can become a parent.....call social services. They have to check it out and it will be done without names being reported. Of course the mother can probably take a real good guess, unless she is higher than a Georgia Pine.

Emily Ann

[brylram]

Thank you all. :happy: I've already taken your advice, and have several pieces of evidence including an msn conversation where she admitted to everything I accused her of, AND went on to say that none of it mattered becauase she has the right to harm her child if she wants. :angry: I was horrified to hear that, but at least now I have a record of it, so social services can be horrified to. Silver lining I suppose, but not sufficiently comforting. *sigh*

Note: She is now DARING me to call social services. :hmmm:

[Kieron Andrew]

Note: She is now DARING me to call social services. :hmmm:
then do so, call her bluff like she is yours, you have the evidence

[GACountrygal]

Well GOOD FOR YOU for being such an awesome God Father!! :thumbsup:
You can do the right thing knowing that it will make this childs life MUCH better!! :thumbsup:
Way to go Dude!! :hugs::hugs:
Nic

[Devon James]

You're doing the right thing mate! I don't have anything with babys or children, but I do know that they should be save. That woman, who calls herself a mother, needs help. The baby needs help too.
Make the calls needed, for both of them, it will make you a good God-father. Eventually she'll understand..

[ZenFrost]

That sounds like a good dare to take. Call them.

[Shelly Preston]

I agree with what ahs been said so far

You need to call social services ASAP

[Robin Leigh]

she admitted to everything I accused her of, AND went on to say that none of it mattered because she has the right to harm her child if she wants. :angry:

She is now DARING me to call social services. :hmmm:
OMG! :mad: Please contact Social Services immediately! This baby is in danger. The mother obviously has mental health problems and is currently not capable of looking after a child.

I try to be sympathetic towards people with mental health problems, so maybe I seemed a bit too soft on her in my earlier post. With proper care, there is a possibility that she will be capable of being a good mother. But not in her present state.

May I ask what the biological father is doing in all of this?

Update.


Living in what we believe to be a crack-house. :\Somehow, I'm not surprised. :( :Angry3:

Do you suspect the mother was on crack or other hard drugs during the pregnancy, especially the first 3 months? I hope the baby doesn't have neurological damage. :(

Robin

[brylram]

May I ask what the biological father is doing in all of this?

Living in what we believe to be a crack-house. :\

[Tristan]

I agree with calling social services and asap. The baby is fortunate to have you in their life, because if there wasn't you, who knows how long this might go on before someone realized? This woman sounds seriously disturbed. Drugs make people do things we wouldn't otherwise do, as can alcohol, and what she seems capable of seems like one of those moms that ends up in the news. Get social services involved.

[Dasein9]

Add my voice to the chorus.

Please call Social Services immediately. Please. The best case scenario if this woman raises the child is that the child grows up abused and possibly perpetuating the abuse. The worst case scenario is that the child doesn't grow up.

[John]

Hi, don't think we've bean introduced (I've bean elcewhere). Welcome.

I don't think I'll be saying anything new, other than that I've worked with children on a volentery basis, and beleave me, if any cair/child worked had realised that was hapening, they'd have gone streight to social services. You are not over reacting, and no matter how angy or acusative the mother becomes, you are doing to right thing, for both the child and her.

And don't swet about posting the thread, I'm sure we'd all rather you do.

[sandra-leigh]

I am the god-father to a 2 month old baby, and her mother is causing me to have a great deal of concern for the child's safety.

Your duty as god-father is to watch over and guide and protect the child should the parents become incapable of doing so. And from what you've said, the mother is clearly incapable of doing so.

Of course, knowing what you know, it should be reported even if you weren't the god-father, but no-one can say "It's none of your business": you were invited to make it your business when you were asked to be god-father, and you accepted.

[brylram]

I gave it a couple days to see if thinking would do her any good, and it seems like it has. She is now going back to her mothers house, is seeking professional support, and most excitingly has had a very negative and off-putting experience with drugs, which has led her to feel ill at even the mention of them. I'm hoping all this holds, and will be keeping a close eye on the situation, as well as providing her with whatever support I can so she can stay responsible and safe for her baby. I've decided to hold off on calling social services unless another serious incident occurs, as she has decided to seek support on her own initiative, and I'm waiting to see if she'll follow through. Rest assured, I will not hesitate to take action if she gives me even ONE more reason. *puts on his threatening clothes and stands guard*

Edit to add in a note:

Thank you all for your advice/support in this matter, it has been greatly appreciated, and has been keeping me from losing my mind or resolve.

[ZenFrost]

No prob, we're happy to help. I'm glad things seem to be working out and I hope it stays that way.

[bi_weird]

*hug* Hope things stay better for ya. I'm thinking happy thoughts your way.