How long were you in the closet before going out.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

I have read a number of post were Cd's who have been dressing for 5 to 30 years and more, Finlay went out dress for the first time.

Most had a great time going out and can not believe what took them so long to go out dress, it is like a new world for them and know go out a lot more.

Some did not have a great time going out the first time, it was so bad for some that they will never go out dress again and some talk about never dressing again.

What is it that makes a CD who has been in the closet for so long want to Finlay go out dress for the first time dress?

Why is it that some have a great time going out and want to go out more?

And why do some who go out for the first have a bad experience and do not feel that they will never want to go out again and want stop dressing for some.

How long were you in the closet.

What was it that got you out of the closet.

Do you still go out dress.

Did you have a good time or a bad time out,


LA CINDY LOVE

[Marla S]

What is it that makes a CD who has been in the closet for so long want to Finlay go out dress for the first time dress?
Not hiding anymore, not being ashamed anymore ... world here I am ... take me as I am. What you see is what you get.


Why is it that some have a great time going out and want to go out more?
Because it feels authentic, to get over the own fears feels like a little victory and is a boost for the self-esteem.


And why do some who go out for the first have a bad experience and do not feel that they will never want to go out again and want stop dressing for some.
In particular when my mood is a bit shaky a negative incident is something that smashes the self-esteem. Fears, doubts, shame comes back, at least for a short while ... I get (got) afflicted by self-doubts again.


How long were you in the closet.
Don't know when I went in, but I am out since 1.5 years now.


What was it that got you out of the closet.
I think it was kind of a breakdown, that convinced me that I had to change something in my life.


Do you still go out dress.
Every day.


Did you have a good time or a bad time out,
Mostly good to neutral.

[Lisa Golightly]

How long were you in the closet?

From about 5 years old till 16 years old

What was it that got you out of the closet?

When I was 16 I went into town and bought underwear, two pairs of shoes, and two dresses in a nerve wracking shopping experience. I had been building up to it for months, and then one weekday I just did it.

When I got home I tried everything on and it felt good... I had a wig that my mother used to wear (it's a 1970's thing ;) ) Well... cut a long story short it just felt natural that I should be out there rather than inside so I went out as a girl and the rest as they say is history.

Do you still go out dress?

Sure do...

Did you have a good time or a bad time out?

First time was nerve-wracking as hell... Knee knocking, eye darting fearorama! But confidence grows quickly...

In my heyday I was a bit of a flirt and somedays were fantastic, whilst others were downright dangerous. I have to say as the years have gone by it is a much more tolerant world out there

[Lissa Stevens]

Q What is it that makes a CD who has been in the closet for so long want to Finally go out dress for the first time dress?

A Tired of hiding ourselves. Want to be able to be ourselves everywhere, not just in the closet.

Q Why is it that some have a great time going out and want to go out more? It's like a drug.

A The more we go out, and have a positive experience, the more we want to.

Q And why do some who go out for the first have a bad experience and do not feel that they will never want to go out again and want stop dressing for some.

A A bad experience can be humiliating. What we always feared happened and who would want to go through that again.

Q How long were you in the closet.

A 46 years

Q What was it that got you out of the closet.

A Talking to others CDs and seeing how they dealt with going out and the experiences they had.

Q Do you still go out dress.

A Always, just not all enfemme.

Q Did you have a good time or a bad time out,

A Good so far

[Shelly Preston]

Still in the closet

Have been for as long as i can remember

Will i get out - probably

when - still not sure

[Jennilouise]

i have been dressing for around 12 years and i have only been out once but enjoy the experince of going for a drive and walk. i am plannig another trip out soon. i know the more i go out the more complacent i will get and i am sure of being made, i will deal with that if and when it happens. i took me around 10 year and a great deal of talking with my current partner to pluck up the courage to out. when the night arrvied i was so nervus and scared, but as soon as we got out of the city i started to relax. after about 2hrs we stopped for some food my partner got some fish and chips and we drove to a car park and after the food we went for a walk along the sea front. i have to admit it was in the winter and it was dark at the time which help my nervs. when we got home we had a drink which was very much needed

Jenni
xx

[az_azeel]

Still in the closet and have no desire to go out... I like my privacy... take care :hugs:

[SherriePall]

I first went out about three years ago. I was then in my late middle 50's. Why? Because I wanted to experience something more than walking around the bed in the bedroom. I also had several "safe" places to go to get me started. Have been out a couple of times a year since then, but not since last November. Planning my next outing now.

[Toyah]

I am in the closet and have no intention of moving why would I want too subject Toyah to the real world, she is my escape not another route to ridicule

[Jeannie]

Along with many of you I have been dressing in one form or another (I mean different layers)for most of my life, I am 56,. The only other person who knows about this is my wonderful wife. However I dream of one day just walking outside the house, may be to the patio or something. I have to wait until I retire and settle in a place that I can make private, then from there to a Crosss dressing friendly bar.

Jeannie

[Raychel]

Well at this point I am still in hiding. I don't know if I will ever take that huge step out the door. So for me it has been about 35 years so far. But still counting. :straightface:

[Sally2005]

It is realizing that you can go out in public all at the same time not have anyone recognize you. There is some sense of accomplishment vs being too scared to step outside. The only issue I have is the attitudes others might have and I don't want to change the relationships around me and I can't exactly explain why this is part of my life.

[Crissy Kay]

I have to agree with Toy, as I have no interest in passing, or wearing ordinary street clothing. I like the frilly sissy stuff, most here would not be caught dead in!!!!!

[sterling12]

I can concur with just about everything that the others have said. I was in that closet for 50+ years. I really can't count those incidents of going out for a drive, or furtively walking a few steps around an empty parking lot. Life for Joanie begins when she gets tired of being trapped in the closet and decides to start doing. Life as a voyeur really sucks!

FYI, I think one of the best predictors of a happy outcome when you first go out, has to do with being part of a Group. If you are out with your Sista's and nobody's freaking out, feels ashamed, or doesn't seem to care whether they pass or not, it all makes things a lot easier for "The Newbie." I can't even imagine going out for the first time and doing it solo....bars can be very scary places!

So if you can, join a Tri-Ess Group, or some sort of a support group. if you can't do that, try and find some CD Friends that you can hang with. This forum would be a good place to start. PM somebody and make friends with them. Hardly anybody ever bites.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sheri 4242]

Going out dressed as Sheri has always given me a sense of tremendous freedom -- maybe "empowerment" or "validation" would be better descriptors. I don't know -- it has just always felt great to be out and about en femme!!!

[Roxi Loh]

Agree with Sterling12...I cant imagine me going out without support. My friend Melissa hounded me (in the very best way) to do it and I cannot thank her enough. It was life changing and I love her for it. But the support...especially if you are stuck, is critical.

[angelfire]

I still have not gone out, so I can't really give much input. I haven't gone out for a number of reasons.

Reason 1 is worry about running into someone I know, since I have only told 1 friend.

Reason 2: I still live at home, so going out or coming home dressed is out of the question, especially since there is ALWAYS someone around.

Reason 3: I don't have enough of a wardrobe, or practice with make-up to go out dressed. I do not own a wig, or forms, or even femme shoes at this stage. Also, I'm a big gal so I tend to stick out and draw lots of unwanted attention. I don't have a very feminine walk or gate, and my voice is rather deep, so my chances of passing are nil, and chances of being recognized are high.

[Eugenie]

I have read a number of post were Cd's who have been dressing for 5 to 30 years and more, Finlay went out dress for the first time.
I'm one of them... I started wearing some women clothes when I was around 11 years old and went out "en femme" for the first time at age 58... However I only started dressing fully "en femme" around the age of 23.

Most had a great time going out and can not believe what took them so long to go out dress, it is like a new world for them and know go out a lot more.
Yes indeed, why did I wait so long? I wish I had known earlier that being a x-dresser was not so exceptional and that I had no reason to feel guilty about it...

Some did not have a great time going out the first time, it was so bad for some that they will never go out dress again and some talk about never dressing again.
However, as you say, the first times weren't that great... For a while I didn't want to go out again as the pleasure I got from it wasn't worth the uneasyness that came with it. But I overcame that later on.

What is it that makes a CD who has been in the closet for so long want to Finaly go out dress for the first time dress?
The profound desire to meet other X-dressers was my main drive.
So, I went out for the first time not just to "go out" but to attend a meeting of CDI-NY in Manhattan. A GG friend of mine drove me to the meeting place but I had to go from her flat to her car, then from her car to the entrance of the club and vice versa on the way back... Scary experience. As much as I enjoyed the meeting, the walk in Mahattan streets was a very difficult experience...

Why is it that some have a great time going out and want to go out more?
After a few more attempts, I was somewhat turned off with the idea of going out. Yet I felt that going out would give another dimension to my X-dressing, the feeling to really exist and have the freedom to be who I wanted to be.

It is thanks to the remark of a GG whom I highly respect that I finally built the confidence to go out and now I could feel great about it. After I did a coming out to her and had shown pictures of me "en femme", she told me" You look great. And you do no harm to anybody."

I felt completely like a different person... Note that this GG is the President of the association I am Vice president, and part of my fears were tied to the risk of being discovered given that situation.

And why do some who go out for the first have a bad experience and do not feel that they will never want to go out again and want stop dressing for some.
I had that feeling but no longer have it. But I can understand that some react like that. A first experience can be a very scary one...

How long were you in the closet.
I was in the closet more than 35 years...

What was it that got you out of the closet.
I said it already: the desire to meet other X-dressers. What did trigger that desire? Weel having so much information about X-dressing thanks to an unlimited access to the internet thanks to ADSL connection... Before that I was alwys shy to spend time browsing the internet outside my domain of voluntering activities.

Seeing so many "sisters" having fun, spending time together, sharing experiences, speaking of the fun of "going out", gave me the profound desire to meet some of these sisters.

Do you still go out dress.
Yes indeed. However I don't go out in my own town. I am much too well known to take that risk, not only for me, which I could cope with, but for my brothers who are also well known and would suffer from an un desired "coming out" of their brother.

Did you have a good time or a bad time out,
After the initial period of fears, I have now a wonderful time every time I go out "en femme". The only problem is that it is kind of addictive... The more I go the more I want to go...


LA CINDY LOVE

Love from France.

Eugenie

[Dragster]

How long in the closet? About 53 years and still counting (at 63).

I'd really love to get out and about, have felt so for 20 odd years, but more so since I found this site (over 2 years ago) and started reading about all of you.
But I've yet to buy a wig and make-up (plus the skill to use them), and I won't push that envelope at the risk of my 35 year old marriage. Still working on my non-supportive wife. Maybe one day............before I get too old!

Tony

[Sally24]

I started trying dressing a little around 8 or 10 years old, then a number of times at 14. Then I would try it off and on as opportunity to others clothes became available. Didn't really try everything including wigs and makeup until 1992. Wasn't impressed and didn't try again until 2004 with my wifes help. After hitting 50 it just seems like life is too short to worry about things. I finally went out in public June 2005. It was a great experience as have been all my outings.

I continue to go out in public on a regular basis. Sometimes it's T-girl Sally, sometimes it's GG Sally. I enjoy both but they are very different experiences! I wouldn't ever give it up again.

[sandra-leigh]

How long were you in the closet.


I don't remember exactly now, but it was a small number of weeks for me between the time that I realized that I was a cross-dresser, and the time that I was out in public in a skirt (and no wig.) I was already a regular in some of the womens stores, browsing/buying things for my wife, so when I had the thought that "I could wear these kinds of clothes!", it was easy for me to buy something for myself. But right from the moment that I realized that I wanted to wear the clothes, I wanted to go out in public in them. As best I recall, it was 3 weeks between the time I realized that I wanted to crossdress, and the time I went out to a big mall in a skirt (my memory could be wrong.)

[JoAnnDallas]

I am 59 and went out in the daylight for the first time in 2005. First time out was just for a walk around the house. The house sets on a cornor so have a sidewalk on two sides of the house. I remember how nervious I was, heart rate way up, then the first car came down the street, passed me and kept on going. WOW what a thrill that was. Soon I was going out for drives around the area, then I went to a gasoline station and filled up the SUV. The next year (2006) I found the local Tri-Ess group and went to HEF2006. I don't really consisder this my public outing, since it was a CD convention and everyone staff and guests knew about it. My real public outing was this las May when I went and filled up the SUV. I then walked into the station store, got a bottle of water, paid for it, walked back ou to the SUV. No hassels, no problem, just a bunch of "Maams". Did the same thing the next night at a convience store. Still no problem. Then I decide to go big time. The third day I went to the local Payless Shoe store, in the daylight, mingled, browsed shoes, tried on shoes, and bought a pair. Even used my fem voice for the first time. At HEF2006, I just used my natural voice.
Why did I wait so long? Well Untill 2005 I felt alone, insecure, ashamed, and frightened. When I found this site and a couple others in 2005, I started reading about others going out. I meet and established friends thru the site. Thier encouragment along with reading about outings, tips on dressing, makeup, wigs, and ect, helped me overcome my fears.
I guess the old saying, "All we have to fear is fear itself" sums it all up. I suppect that society has also changed enough, with the Gay movement, laws being enacted to protect us, seeing more of us in the news, all has helped us see that we are not monsters, we are not perverts, and we are not a threat to others. A week does not go by that I don't see some new report about a TGirl and I decided that if they can do it, so can I. So far no one has given me any problems, no one has been rude, and if someone has clocked me, they were good enough to not say anything in front of me.
I think we will start to see more of us going out at a younge age. Then too, a lot of us are at retirement age, and just don't care what people think. LOL

[TerriM]

Im 58 and was 29 when I went out for the first time. I found out about CD parties that were being run about 20 miles from my house. The first CD I had a meaningful conversation with was a fireman and I was a policeman at the time. It made me really realize that I was not alone. It was a wonderful feeling. Prior to going out my dog was the only living thing that knew i dressed and he used to look at me funny, lol.

Yours Terri

[Angela d'Evial]

I am 57 and told my SO 2 months ago after 33 years of marriage.
Been in the closet for 45 years and only made a short walk with the dog after midnight 3 months ago.
My SO asked me not to do that anymore in the neighbourhood.

[Colleentg]

I started dressing, secretively, about age 10, 'borrowing' my sisters intimates. I remember wanting to be just like her, look just like her, and well, back then I did, except she had long hair and boobs!

Q: Why is it that some have a great time going out and want to go out more?
A: For me, I had a great experience the first few times. I was convincing enough to the average 'joe', it was a thrill all it's own!

Q: How long were you in the closet.
A: I stayed in the closet for over 35 yrs! However, my ex-wife was aware of it from the start. She dealt with it for almost half of 14+ yrs. The only other people who knew were penpals, (before the arrival of the Internet).

Q: What was it that got you out of the closet.
A: For me it was a need to express myself, how I really felt I should be living/living as. The more I dressed, the more I wanted to be female. I was slowly convincing myself I could pass easily anyway, but also had met with other transsexuals who encouraged me that I was. I got a divorce shortly after, so I could begin a 'new life'.

Q: Do you still go out dress.
A: Yes, I have no choice, because I do not have any male clothing! I got rid of it about seven yrs ago!

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

well i'm still in the closet, unless you count the late night venture to the restrooms in the rest areas and the occasional late night venture into the truckstop to sign for fuel reciepts and get a pack of cigerettes and pop, usually wearing panties women's jeans, a bra and a shirt either male or female it generally didn't matter, i was only going to be there a few minutes, but i when i go back out i really kind of plan on dressing at least 60% of the time at least no matter what even if i'm in a truckstop or at a customer, mainly because for one i only own three pairs on male jeans anymore and like 8 to 15 shrits (only 5 of them can be worn year round).
P.s i'm really kind of looking for people to help me with my transition from my closet to part time, maybe even full time CDer/TGIRL, hehe