Help! I lost my nerve!

[Deborah Jane]

I saw a lovely wedding dress in a charity shop [I,ve always wanted to try one].I went in to look at it,the price was good and it was my size, but then i noticed a couple of customers looking at me[probably my imagination]and i just turned and left the shop.It left me feeling moody for the rest of the day! The thing is, i still want that dress! Normally when i buy things i say its a present for my wife/girlfriend, but you can,t really use that excuse with a wedding dress!! HELP how do i get it!

[carolinewalker_2000]

No choice; if you want it that badly, you just walk in there and buy it. You don't have to explain to anyone. What they might choose to think is up to them. Personally, my experience of charity shops is that they sell things and don't ask questions!

[hunny67]

Hi, Do you not have any body to take with you? you could go in & just buy it & say nothing. Go on be brave, you can do it!

Hunny67 GG x

[Dita_B]

OMG...

Just go back as soon as you can and GET THAT DRESS! Before it's gone, that is...

You don't need to explain yourself. What do you care what people think? The shop wants to sell that dress and you want to buy it: perfect match.

Go back, take the dress, go to the checkout and pay. End of story. Oh yes, I am really happy for you that you got that dress. Please show a picture from you wearing it!

:love:Dita.

[Sharon]

The thing is, the looks don't go away -- you just need to get yourself into a mindset that you won't allow them to deter you. Walk into the store -- or anywhere else for that matter -- with your held held high, and complete the transaction just as if you were in a hardware store purchasing a hammer. You may be shaky on the inside the first couple times you do this, but it soon becomes not that big a deal. Making up a story about why you are buying an item may help you, but it isn't necessary, nor does it matter what strangers think about you.

Good luck! :happy:

[Deborah Jane]

Added problem is, the shops near where i work, so its not like i wont see them again!!

[Tasha T]

Like the others have been saying, you've just got to go back in there and buy it. I've lost my nerve and chickened out from buying things MANY times, but if it's something I REALLY want I regroup, get myself into the proper mindset and go and get it. You can do it too.

The other day I was walking past a store called Strawberry's and saw some wonderful things on display through the window. I stopped to look and then got self conscious that people could see me...a guy...looking at women's clothes and jewelry. I decided not to go inside and kept walking. I wondered if they had a pair of wide silver hoop earrings that I'd been trying hard to find for the past few years. It looked like the kind of store that might have them and I desperately wanted to find out. So I took a couple of deep breaths, told myself that I could do it, turned around and walked into the store. I took my time and carefully combed through the racks not caring who was looking at me or what they were thinking. I finally found EXACTLY what I was looking for. I was so excited I could have jumped up and down (but I didn't). I bought TWO pairs of the earrings (in case one broke) and as I was checking out the saleswoman gave me a "so you're one of those" type of sly smiles. I left the store happier than could be.

[Kate Simmons]

Well, I have a lot of nerve Deborah Jane, at least that's what people tell me (especially the hoity toits). You can have some of mine Hon.:happy:

[Deborah Jane]

Well, I have a lot of nerve Deborah Jane, at least that's what people tell me (especially the hoity toits). You can have some of mine Hon.:happy:

Thanks i,m gonna need it:o

[Sharon]

If you're afraid of other customers recognizing you, and suspecting the truth about you also, just get to the store at the beginning or end of their business day. Chances are, you will have the aisles to yourself. :happy:

[Megan_Girl]

Deborah Jane..... turn off the computer, drive to the shop and buy the darn dress!
I will expect pictures of you in it very soon...........
....because I want to see the smile of pride on your face. All Brides are beautiful!! :love:

You can do this!
XXX
Megan

[Mary Morgan]

Imagine that a merchant has an item that you want. Imagine that you have the money to buy it. Imagine that you walk in the to store and purchase the item. Imagine that you are happy. Now, Imagine that the seller gives you an odd look as you purchase the item. Imagine that you are polite and don't really care. Imagine that you are still happy.

[Glenda58]

Go dressed no one will say a thing.

[Deborah Jane]

Deborah Jane..... turn off the computer, drive to the shop and buy the darn dress!
I will expect pictures of you in it very soon...........
....because I want to see the smile of pride on your face. All Brides are beautiful!! :love:

You can do this!
XXX
Megan
Its nearlly 1 am in england now! If the shop was open at this time i would definatly go and buy it[Its dark and most of the people i know are in bed.]

[Deborah Jane]

Go dressed no one will say a thing.

I wish i could:o

[DonnaT]

If you really need a cover story, tell them your men's club is having a womanless wedding skit. All the participants are men and you were selected to portray the bride.

[lmildcd]

Listen to the ladies in here. I was in a shoe store once to buy a pair of regular shoes. I saw a pair of black heels that I like. I took them off the shelf and bought them along with the other pair.

I'm slowly buying girl stuff in stores. I bought a night gown at a liquidation warehouse once. Might start buying bras at Ross. I heard Ross mentioned on another post.

[Deborah Jane]

If you really need a cover story, tell them your men's club is having a womanless wedding skit. All the participants are men and you were selected to portray the bride.

Good idea i may try that!

[Toyah]

Just go, they dont need a story just your money hell I went into a wedding dress shop and just asked to try some on how hard can it be

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Debroah


If they ask Its a surprise for someone and it has to be kept secret

It could be anyone so you dont tell them

[Sweet Jane]

I've found the best way to buy something (that takes alot of explaining as to why you may be buying it) is to just walk in like you belong there, and buy it. look the shop Assistant in the eye, pass pleasantries but never offer up why you're getting it. I've had SAs hold up garments I am buying and comment on how pretty the colour or style is...I just say, thanks, I think its a pretty colour too!!....all the while inside is not quite the confident outside......sooooo, if you really want the wedding dress, just go in, and ask the sales assistant for some assistance, and buy the darn thing!!!....good luck girl

[Deborah Jane]

Thanks for all the help and advice girls:happy:If i can get back into my present state of mind after work tomorrow i,m gonna go for it:happy:Stuff what the other customers think:p

[Michelle S]

Tell them it is for Halloween or for a play. Then wink and laugh a little.

[Sally2005]

If you feel you want an excuse just say that halloween is not that far off and its not everyday you see a cheap wedding dress that might fit. I agree witht he others, just buy it.

[Joanne_2003]

I have noticed that very few people ever notice or care what you buy. The odd time I've had cashiers comment on how nice my satin panties are and they jokingly say they hope they fit me, I just reply SO DO I.

Joanne

What I meant was what size was it and which store..............

[Deborah Jane]

What I meant was what size was it and which store..............

Gerrof its mine:tongueout

[Toyah]

Gerrof its mine:tongueout


Hmmmm sussex is not so far away !!!!!!!

[darley dee]

Tell them your a female impersonator, and you want it for an upcoming performance !

[Megan_Girl]

Its nearlly 1 am in england now! If the shop was open at this time i would definatly go and buy it[Its dark and most of the people i know are in bed.]

All right then it's decided.. off to bed and first thing after work tomorrow your off to the shop.

And to paraphrase the credit card commercial "don't come home without it!" :heehee:

XXX
Megan

[Stephenie S]

OK, don't listen to any of these silly excuse threads. Just buy it. You have the right to buy anything. Honest, the shopkeeper doesn't care. Doesn't care. Doesn't care. Honest!! I am telling you the absolute truth here. PLEASE believe me. The shopkeeper doesn't care WHAT you are going to DO with the dress. They just want to sell it. Do you think for one minute that the shopkeeper has said in his mind, "I want to sell this dress, but not to one of those pervert CDers?" Of course not. He/she wants to sell the dress. If you go in there and offer the money they are asking that will be the end of it. Right there. That's all. You will give them the money and they will give you the dress. Period. End of story.

It is SO easy for newbies to imagine that they are the only one with this sick, sick, sick perversion. This insane desire to buy and wear women's clothes, but the reality is that you are not alone. Witness the hundreds and hundreds on this site alone. You are not alone. We are everywhere and we all buy women's clothes all the time. Shopkeepers sell women's clothing to men ALL THE TIME. It's OK!!!! There are no CD police!!!! That very shopkeeper already has several male customers that he sells women's clothes to on a regular basis. You are going to be just one more. He isn't even going to remember your face 3 minutes after you leave the store.

Don't invent a silly excuse. That only calls attention to you as someone who thinks he is doing something wrong. You are NOT doing something wrong. Shopkeepers and SA have all heard every silly excuse and every lame story you can possibly invent. Don't bother. It just makes you look and sound silly. Just buy the damn dress.

OK, enough scolding for one evening.

Hon, just buy the dress. You will be sooo happy and proud of yourself; and we will too.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[JenniferR771]

I went into a Goodwill store in a nicer part of town this week. Waited for customers to be absent. Boldly told the two girls at the counter that I was a CD and asked if i could shop the dresses. ( I enjoy the himiliation if they giggle.) They said sure. And then one of them volunteered that if I wanted to try on dresses the fitting room was just to the right. I thanked them very much.

Try this. I have a second favorite thrift shop where I have told the nicest clerk that I am a cd. I shop there often and now all the girls know me. Last year, I spotted a wedding dress, cheap in my size. I was shy, and kept going back until until my favorite clerk was there. i had my wig in a bag. I didn't want customers to watch me go into the fitting room with a wedding dress. I told her what I wanted and she put two wedding dresses in the fitting room. Meanwhile I gathered up some white shoes and a bra. Put one dress on and stepped out to show her in front of the big mirror when no customers were near. She helped with the zipper and got me a veil to complete the look. She was so excited--said I looked beautiful--I bought the dress.

[Fab Karen]

Thanks for all the help and advice girls:happy:If i can get back into my present state of mind after work tomorrow i,m gonna go for it:happy:Stuff what the other customers think:p

That's the spirit! go go go. It'll soon be yours.
:happy:

[TxKimberly]

I saw a lovely wedding dress in a charity shop [I,ve always wanted to try one].I went in to look at it,the price was good and it was my size, but then i noticed a couple of customers looking at me[probably my imagination]and i just turned and left the shop.It left me feeling moody for the rest of the day! The thing is, i still want that dress! Normally when i buy things i say its a present for my wife/girlfriend, but you can,t really use that excuse with a wedding dress!! HELP how do i get it!

You go into the store, pick it up, take it to the register, and you buy it! You give no excuses, make up no silly tales, you just go buy it. I have done exactly that with exactly that kind of dress before! :-)
The only thng that was said, was that apparently the young lady had some sort of superstition that caused her to be VERY reluctant to touch the wedding dress. Guess she thought that would mean she would be getting married soon or something.
Just do it - don't worry about it, turn your guts inside out, or loose sleep over it, just go get it!

[rachel_rachel]

You go into the store, pick it up, take it to the register, and you buy it! You give no excuses, make up no silly tales, you just go buy it. I have done exactly that with exactly that kind of dress before! :-)
The only thng that was said, was that apparently the young lady had some sort of superstition that caused her to be VERY reluctant to touch the wedding dress. Guess she thought that would mean she would be getting married soon or something.
Just do it - don't worry about it, turn your guts inside out, or loose sleep over it, just go get it!


That's exactly right... Nobody has to know, you don't have to give excuses, it's none of their business.

I bought a wedding gown from the salvos once and the guy there asked me if it was for me, my reply was yeah it is.

[Kieron Andrew]

well did you get it yet!! its 11.30am here in the uk, you've had 2 and a half hours to pop to the shop and geddit!

[kerilynn]

I agree with Joanne, most times they don't care whos buying or why, they just want the sale. Go buy that dress and you don't need to make any excusess!
Keri

[Raychel]

The more you go shopping the easier it will get. Just walk in and buy it. That is if it isn't gone already. How are they going to know that you aren't picking it up for someone else. They really don't care who buys it as long as it is sold.

Just do it.

[Deborah Jane]

:DGot itI walked in picked it up and paid for it She said "Is it for you?" I just grinned, winked and walked out with it:D Thanks again everyone for your support and encouragement:D I can,t wait till this evening when i can wear it! [I,ve got the kids this afternoon]

[Kieron Andrew]

:DGot itI walked in picked it up and paid for it She said "Is it for you?" I just grinned, winked and walked out with it:D Thanks again everyone for your support and encouragement:D I can,t wait till this evening when i can wear it! [I,ve got the kids this afternoon]
you know we so want pictures now dont you!!, well done, that was easy wasnt it :)

[TxKimberly]

:DGot itI walked in picked it up and paid for it She said "Is it for you?" I just grinned, winked and walked out with it:D Thanks again everyone for your support and encouragement:D I can,t wait till this evening when i can wear it! [I,ve got the kids this afternoon]

See?! It was EASY huh? Way to go. Oh, and Kieron is right - you got us all involved and now we want pictures of you and THE dress. :-)

[Deborah Jane]

Just tried it on, it,s just a bit too tight to zip up, gonna try again tonight with a basque. If that doesn,t work i,ll buy a corset or waist clincher. Pics in the week[hopefully]:D

[Raychel]

Congrats onb the new purchase, Not only was it easy, it sound like it was a bit fun too. :thumbsup::thumbsup:

[Stephenie S]

Dear Deborah,

WAY TO GO GIRL!!!!

We were all right, huh? See how easy it is? Now you've done it. Be carefull. Now that you know how easy it is, you will be in every shop in town spending WAY too much money.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Deborah Jane]

Just tried the dress again over my only basque[black]. It fits :D Right! Revised shopping list! Corset, white lace tights, white shoes, white lace gloves, veil, New white silk panties and of course blue garter:DIts gonna be a busy week! I could really get into this shopping idea :heehee:

[janet1234]

I have pictured myself in a corsetted white wedding gown. Love wedding gowns, weddings.

Deborah Jane, will you do a photo for us? Please.

[Deborah Jane]

Deborah Jane, will you do a photo for us? Please.

I,m hoping to set it up during the week! Add to shopping list CAMARA:heehee:

[angelfire]

I've bought stuff from thrift stores like that a number of times, and only once had someone ask something. I was buying a nighty, a denim mini, and women's pajamas. When she looked at the pajamas, she asked "What are these for?" while kind of laughing. I had gotten up the confidence to get to the cash with everything, and figured "They never ask anyway." so I didn't bother thinking something up. I just said "Something to do." and she was like "So, you just bought them for no reason?" so I replied "Pretty much." Then she asked "Are they for you?"

At this point, I was pretty frustrated, because I had never expected someone to keep pushing that much. I said "No, I am going to sell them on eBay." and then she changed the line of questioning to eBay, asking if I trusted them, if I had ever bought anything from eBay before, how she was looking for a palm pilot on eBay. Actually, interestingly enough, it was what my cousin used to do. She would go to garage sales and second hand shops, buy clothes and sell them on eBay for a profit.

The only other comment anyone made, was when I was buying a skirt from another second hand store, and the girl said "Thats a really nice skirt." I just smiled at that point, since I was really nervous.

Either way though, no matter the outcome, I came out of it alive. I'm still here, no harm done. Certainly wasn't expecting it though, so it definitely caught me off guard. That was probably one of the worst case scenarios, and is unlikely to happen. But either way, just go in and buy it. It will only take a few minutes, it will be over, and then you'll be happy you did it. You gotta think about the long term, not just the short term. Short term: ya, you might be nervous and worried. Long term: You'll be glad you did it, because you no longer are nervous, and have a gorgeous wedding dress.

Just go out and get it like everyone said. :hugs:

[MJ]

just go and get it, you don't have to justfy nothing ..

[Kieron Andrew]

I could really get into this shopping idea :heehee:
ok thats definitely a girl talking lol

[Dita_B]

I too want to add my congratulations with your new dress and your victory buying it!

Way to go Girl! I'm looking forward to the pictures...

And now... off to the Mall!

:love:Dita.

[Sweet Jane]

well done.....that was the exact right response too....ask no questions and I'll tell you no lies.....and I really do want to see the photo!!!

[sandra_j_gervais]

Good for you, I am proud !

I bet half of us go and buy wedding dresses. Every girl should have one !

Reminds me when I called Loralie about a gown. I spoke to a woman in her 20's:

"Is this for you ?"

"Yes. I am a cross-dresser."

"OK."

Then straight into the details about the dress.

I think we make TG more weird for ourselves than it really is for others. The only thing more weird than buying a gown is ordering breastforms from another man on the phone. I've done that AND THAT IS WEIRD !

Sandra