Do you feel this way? (diminished desire )

[Holly]

Have you ever felt this way? I'm talking more than a diminuished desire to dress. It's as if, "Elsie has left the building." I'm noticing male speech patterns becoming more dominate in my conversations, a pronounced loss of patience and understanding, reduced compassion, all things I treasure and they are just vanishing :(. And this didn't just start this weekend, which hasn't been particularly good, but has been noticable over the last several weeks. Has anyone else experienced this? How long did it last? I don't like what is becoming of me.

[Kate Simmons]

It's just things equalizing Holly. It will be okay. It's just yourself coming to a point of balance. Similar things happened to me this past year. Once they settled down, I've been calmer and more at ease knowing I'm my own person. I don't feel I have to act this way or that way and I just enjoy being myself. This is one of the reasons I chose the name Salandra (which is a title really). It encompasses both aspects of myself, Ericka and Richard under one umbrella. I never get "wet" any more for sure even if there is a "downpour."You will be fine my friend, trust me.:hugs::happy:

[SandyR]

Holly,

I go through this a couple times a year. For about 5 or 6 weeks I just feel like being a guy! But lucky for me the girl in me always comes back........

Hugs.

SandyR

[TxKimberly]

Apparently it is catching as another friend of mine online was just making much the same complaint on her blog.
I imagine it is probably just the typical ups and downs. I go through them too, as you well know, what with your having offered me advice and kind words on a number of those occasions. :-)
Everyone, crossdressers and everyone else, has their ups and downs. Times when they ride high, times when they ride low. Maybe you are just at a bit of a low point - hang in their!

[Paula G]

Not to worry, Holly. I go through those cycles myself, it'll turn around before you know it. Also have seen other posts recently about the same thing, so you are definitely not alone in this.

[Deborah Jane]

Yeah i go through these cycles a few times a year, lasts up to 2 months and in the past accompanied with purging[managed to stop that at last]. Then something triggers deborah back and i enjoy it again!

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

i can;t say that it's happened to me since i'm still working my way up to going out en femme, but i can say that it seems that in the last three weeks i've found my struggling to keep taylor locked out inside, when i'm out and about, either at work, or just hanging out with family or friends, for some reason i've just been unable to keep her quite, which its always been hard since taylor is about 98% of my total persenality, and since i have finally gotten to a point where i'm finally accepting it, and not dening her, I've actually gotten to a point where i'm actually struggling to pass in Boy mode, which you wouldn't think would be to hard, but still i'm struggling

[Angie G]

No and I hope I never do now snap out of it hun :hugs:
Angie

[Mary Morgan]

Of course Holly. Everything has its ebb and flow. I my own case. I stopped dressing for five years at one point, but when the desire returned it was stronger than ever. I am at a point where I could go fulltime if circumstances would allow. I'm not ready to give up on my male side just yet.

[Tina Dixon]

It's going around, s**t theres hardly any frigging fem in me at all right now.

[sandra-leigh]

Everything has its ebb and flow. I my own case. I stopped dressing for five years at one point, but when the desire returned it was stronger than ever.

I had a brief discussion this evening with one of the past presidents of our local social club. She hadn't dressed in 5 years -- she said that the desire was just gone during that time. And then very recently, less than two weeks ago, the desire to dress was suddenly back. She rejoined the club; and was at a party tonight dressed.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Holly, I too feel the same way sometimes and have discovered that "these mood swings" are signs of deep frustration within ones self. We as a group(cd'ers) feel we really can't accomplish what we sometimes want(becoming female) and this this leads to feeling frustrated etc etc. When we accept our frustrations then we snap-out of our downward spiral and return to our "normal" self. When we need to label these "mood swings" we can call them " male pms"


:love: Mollyanne

[Wendy me]

Holly i think we go through up's and down's in our lives .... and this side of us is no different ......i wish i had the fix for you .... i really do .... like i could pluck you off this ride before it started to go down to the lows.... a place you smiling and happy back on when it was at it's higest....

i have been stressed for so long i thing this is the way it's sposta be lol....sometimes i ask myself why even try .......lol ,,,,(lol i get answers ).... because it's what i do ....lol better days are coming .....i think..... i hope.....

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Holly

The best way I can describe this is like riding the crossdressing roller coaster that has no end

It has ups and downs and twists and turns it will go fast or slow

There are those rare occasions when it breaks down or stops

If it stops you understand what is happening and can deal with it accordingly

If it breaks down its a different problem :( and the solution is not quite so clear

This seems to me how you are feeling now :sad:

You know it can be fixed and it may take some time but it will be as good as new at the end sometimes even better. So dont do anything drastic and dont panic either

I have gone throught periods in my life when I too felt I was sliding into oblivion but I got through it somehow
Today at least we have the support of friend to help us through the difficult time :hugs:
You know your prayers will be answered and you will be back to normal soon
:)

[Marla S]

It's just things equalizing Holly. It will be okay. It's just yourself coming to a point of balance. Similar things happened to me this past year. Once they settled down, I've been calmer and more at ease knowing I'm my own person. I don't feel I have to act this way or that way and I just enjoy being myself. This is one of the reasons I chose the name Salandra (which is a title really). It encompasses both aspects of myself, Ericka and Richard under one umbrella. I never get "wet" any more for sure even if there is a "downpour."You will be fine my friend, trust me.:hugs::happy:
Though my name isn't Salandra ;), I can't do more than second that.

[Rachell]

Yes the funk (i did not mis-spell) thats what I call it, you just don't feel like a woman and its awful. Been through this alot latey but also under some stress to do the death of my brother a couple weeks ago. It will go away but you may have to chase it out.
Hope that helps
R.:happy: :happy: :happy:

[Sharon]

.... a pronounced loss of patience and understanding, reduced compassion, all things I treasure and they are just vanishing :(.

I don't understand why characteristics that should be a goal of everyone, male and female, are being assumed to be traits of just one gender. Without knowing any more than what you write here, Holly, I would guess that something upsetting is on your mind and you're just in a funk. Crossdressing may not even be the cause. :hugs:

[Glenda58]

Holly I've been doing this for over 50 yrs it comes and it goes. It's not permanent take a break it will come back.

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

Dont worry, the fall lines are around the corner and should retrigger you :happy:

[Mary Jane]

Holly, I also experience the things you mentioned. I guess it is just a part of who we are and nothing we can do about it. I must say that I am quite happy in my life and have reached more of a balance in my male and female sides. Sometimes I just feel a bit stronger towards one side. Things should work out fine.

[Sweet Jane]

Hi Holly,
I have had the urge to feminise myself disappear for years at a time.

Its funny, but I don't think I act any different dressed as a woman or a man. Maybe that makes me a crass woman(haha), but I would like to think it makes me a more than considerate, guy.

In saying that, I wish you all the best Holly, and I really do hope, guy or gal, you're happy and content

[MsEva]

Apparently it is catching as another friend of mine online was just making much the same complaint on her blog.
I imagine it is probably just the typical ups and downs. I go through them too, as you well know, what with your having offered me advice and kind words on a number of those occasions. :-)
Everyone, crossdressers and everyone else, has their ups and downs. Times when they ride high, times when they ride low. Maybe you are just at a bit of a low point - hang in their!

Very true Kimberly, sort of the yin and yang. So, here is hoping that things even out soon.

[Julogden]

Hi Holly,

I think ups-and-downs come with the territory.

I've been away from dressing completely for a long time, but I decided to get dressed up and go to a local TG meeting (Island Girls, near my home) because I had made a new friend from here who was going to be there (Hi Elsia!) and also knew that Marryanne Sung was going to be there, and thought it would be fun and interesting to meet her too.

So I got all dressed up and ended up having a very nice time, and since then, I'm dressing around home a lot more, seems to have kicked me into more of a dressing phase than I've been in for a long time. I'm hoping it will stay, as it's been a long time since I've really felt enthusiastic about dressing, or anything else, for that matter.

I had to pretty much stop dressing for 4 years while I took care of my elderly father full-time. He passed in 2004, and since then, I've been trying to get back into being who I was before that, and it's been tough, but I think I may be getting some of the old feelings back.

Hang in there!

Carol

[michellebesweet]

I am not a full time girl, so I manage to share my life as two people, and work it out very well, you need to be in control of your life.

[Emily Ann Brown]

Holly dear...

For some reason "Mr Holly" feels the need to assert himself...check what is subtlely happening issues wise in your life and see if there is one that needs him. I suspect that when that issue is quiet he will be too.


Emily Ann

[Chelseaswpa]

Ya know I seen this topic on another site- a gg wrote in and said " hey I don't always feel feminine all the time either!" So take heart from that girls, and enjoy the ride :)

[susie evans]

holly i no what you mean i just got back from a 12 day road trip way to much bussiness and no time for susie i think allmost every one is taking dumb pills and i'am getting very grumpy at every thing maby it's the stars are the moon are something are maby we are all pushing so hard we just need time to down load for a few day's:hugs:

susie

[allin]

I've gone through that the past month. Part of that time i was on a tour. I got home on Sat. Ipicked up my accumulated mail that included a couple of catalogs. I paged thruogh them and "I'm back". I'm writing this while dressed in loverly baby doll and silky robe. I haven't felt this good in ages.:happy:

[Holly]

I want to thank everyone who has taken the time to respond in this thread. Your observations and suggestions are very much appreciated. I hope that the duration of this "valley" is short lived. I guess these are necessary sometimes to help us appreciate the "peaks" even more. :hugs:

[susie evans]

holly
i think you are right and tuesday i'am going back to the mall and do some serious shopping susie needs to get out and have a little fun and r&r maby the valley won't be so deep

:love: susie