Ever Outed Yourself In A Fit Of Anger?

[jessbcuzz]

The reason I ask is because I have a feeling this day is coming soon. This may get a little long winded, but I will try to keep it short. I have always been the black sheep of my family. I think a lot of it is because I am adopted. No matter what I do or say, I am never right in my parents eyes. Back in high school, I had spent a month grounded because my mother saw my car out and about when I was suppose to be in school. I could not convince her that I was in school and that someone else at the school had the same car I had. A couple of years ago, my mother called and ripped me a new one because she had heard that I quit my job. Last fall, my dad and I got into a huge fight because I told him my ggf and I had tickets to the Ohio State - Bowling Green Football game. He swore up and down that they didn't play each other. Anyhow, last month, I got accused of doing something that I did not do, but they are positive I did it because so and so said so. I've gotten to the point that I mail them my trailer payment (I live in a trailer, but it's in their name). I live less than a mile away, but I think if I were to seem them face to face things would get ugly. My sister is getting married in 3 weeks, and I am going only to support her. How long I will stay for the reception, I do not know. I'm in the wedding, but I'm not happy about it. Her and our mom stole a bunch of my ggf's and my ideas of our wedding that was suppose to happen in two weeks. We put ours off because of my sister deciding to get married what would have been a week after our wedding. Anyhow, I am so sick of the way I am getting treated. I am 32 years old, have been on my own since half way through my senior year in high school, and spent 10 years in the army. I have a good paying job, pay my child support for two kids. I live by myself, so trailer payment, car payment, lot rent, utilities, and all of that I do on my own. My home is far from a bachelor pad. No matter what I do, I can't and will never get respect from my parents. They think they know everything about me. The don't know that I lived out of my car numerous of times in my early twenty's. They don't know that I just had tests done for melanoma (tests were negative). They have no clue about me. The only thing they worry about is how I make them look. One time back in my early teens, the police stopped at the house to question me about somethings. I still recall being scorned. The words "what will our neighbors think about seeing a cop in the drive way" still linger to this day. I hope this paints a good picture. I should add to the fact that I don't know how many relationships I have been in have failed because my ggf could stand them. Well, I got caught dressing once or twice when I was younger. I got the talk, and that was about it they think. They have no clue that I do it know a lot more often and try to be as fem as I can. In a way, I almost wish I would get caught so word would get back to them. However, I want to see the look on their face when the words come out of my mouth and tell them that I like to dress up as a women. I'd love to see their jaws drop when I tell them that I have done it since they had caught me 20 some years ago. I wouldn't be saying it to be vindictive, it would come out in a fit of anger. Almost in a rage, just to let them know that if I am the black sheep of the family, oh well. I would be proud to know that I am the black sheep for being a crossdresser. The sad part is, I know they are still my parents, but all of this will come out if an argument sometime soon., I am going to try to be civil at my sisters wedding, but I can only bite my tongue for so long. I hope I am wrong about all of this coming out to them, but I have a strong feeling it's going to all come out, and not in away I mean for it to. So, if anyone has ever outed yourself in a fit of anger, what happened afterwords. I can see what is going to happen when this all comes out, but afterwords, I do not know. I guess I am looking for advice for after the fact.

[Dita_B]

Hello Darkbrowneyes,

IMHO your problem is not a cross dressing problem, but a relationship problem. You have the full right to express yourself the way you see fit, and that includes cross dressing.

You are struggling with dominant parents that have you on a leash. To become your own person, you have to free yourself from that leash. My advise would be to move out of that trailer that is in their name, which they seem to use as a leash on you. If you are able to make payments to them, you can make payments to another landlord as well and become independent.

Remember that you are only responsible for your half of the relationship, you are not responsible for their happiness or contentment. So liberate yourself from the financial cage they seem to have placed you in. As long as you live in their trailer, they have power over you.

Don't let it come to an explosion. You don't gain anything with that. Cross dressing is a choice that you make, and with your 30 plus years, you don't owe them any explanation. Go your own way and make your own choices girl.

I wish you all the best...

:love:Dita.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Dark,

No, don't "out" your self in a fit of anger. Don't ever do ANYTHING in a fit of anger. You will almost always regret it. Your parents are just acting like parents. My parents were exactly the same. I could do NOTHING right. It made NO difference to them what my story was, I was wrong. I think this style of parenting is more common than you think. The problem in your case is that it's going on too long. You need to break away and cut the apron strings. Go rent your own trailer, hon. Grow up!

Later, when you have established yourself as an independant person, you can discuss this issue with them in a far more adult manner. But the very fact that you are contemplating telling them about your self in a "fit of rage", reveals your own immaturity.

Get out, hon, rent your own place, move on. You will feel so much stronger. What your parents think of you doesn't matter in the long run, it's how you feel about yourself that counts. Work on that and it will return many rewards.

Stephenie

[Stacy GG]

Dark
I have to agree with stephanie & Dita. They are being controlling through the trailer & how close you live to them.
I can relate, my parents were very similar because they payed for my going to college they wanted to dictate what I took, what degree I got & when I came home for the summers it just got worse. Unfortunatley, I let them & now am having to pay for it by going back to school on student loans because I ended up getting a degree I did not want and can't really use.
I moved away from them and cut the financial strings in 2003. Things are much better between us now, they no longer try to push what they want on me etc.
You should really think about getting a new trailer that they do not own and perhaps even moving to a different town ( if possible) so that your actions won't "affect" them.
It is your life though so make your own choices! my:2c:

[sterling12]

MOVE OUT OF THE TRAILER. Move far enough away that you can make a life for yourself. If you were in the military for 10 years and are still in need of their support, (ie. the trailer and I don't know what else), you need to stop those behaviors.

One of the reasons that they may treat you like a kid is because your own actions may stop them from seeing you as an adult.

The next time they try to intervene in your life, try something simple. Say calmly, reasonably, and mean it: "I'm not going to stand for this kind of treatment, I'm and adult and I'm leaving." Then walk away! Games like your describing need at least two players. If you "resign," from the game and don't play....the game doesn't work anymore. They will try too continue the game for a while; but once they see that you are sincere, you will probably gain their respect.

"Outing" yourself in a fit of pique isn't going to improve anything. Making things worse only will add to everybody's miseries. Lashing out is selfish and childish. You will only prove what your parents have been thinking and saying about you.

Your Fiancée' is going to expect better from you. It's time for you two to start a life of your own. Be proud and start to change your life.

Of course all of what we have written is opinion. You will have to decide yourself, what you want to do. I hope we, (The Responders) have given you some insights and it is helpful. (Today, I will apply to be The Summer Fill-IN for that windbag Dr. Phil). Have a good day tomorrow, have a good rest of your life.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[paulaN]

The trailer is a leash for sure. get out of their.
Don't do anything in anger, it does not work out for the better.
Do not talk to them about any thing, it seems to bring out the anger in you. Get out on your own a little bit farther. Like when you was in the service. It took many many years for my dad and I to come to terms with each other. I may take a long time for you and your parents to do the same.

[Michelle S]

"(I live in a trailer, but it's in their name). I live less than a mile away,..."

It is time to move. Maybe to a different town. :2c:

Good Luck in any case.

[jessbcuzz]

The thing about trying to leave is that they are the type where they would more or likely sue me. My name isn't on the loan itself, but my name is on the lease. Well, their name is as well, and they sign my every year when the lease is up. I just wish it was so easy to leave. I tend to worry about the others involved. I guess that's why I'm not brave enough to go out dressed.

[Sally2005]

Tell them you plan to move when the lease is up. Of course, you have to settle with them in a fair way so you don't leave on a bad note... I would guess they don't really know what pain they are causing you since they sound very self centered and probably live in their own world. I agree with the others, I don't think your issues are unique. A lot of controlling parents can't let go and if they are upset about something and say abusing things they don't even realize they are doing so. Its not your fault, but you have to find a way to deal with it. I wouldn't go for telling them to get back at them since they wouldn't understand it and would cause you more harm than them.

[trannie T]

You are angry because your parents are over controlling.
You are in a financial arrangement with your parents.

This has nothing to do with being a crossdresser.
Actions one takes while angry are very often wrong and usually regretted.

[immike]

Hello Darkbrowneyes,

IMHO your problem is not a cross dressing problem, but a relationship problem. You have the full right to express yourself the way you see fit, and that includes cross dressing.

You are struggling with dominant parents that have you on a leash. To become your own person, you have to free yourself from that leash. My advise would be to move out of that trailer that is in their name, which they seem to use as a leash on you. If you are able to make payments to them, you can make payments to another landlord as well and become independent.

Remember that you are only responsible for your half of the relationship, you are not responsible for their happiness or contentment. So liberate yourself from the financial cage they seem to have placed you in. As long as you live in their trailer, they have power over you.

Don't let it come to an explosion. You don't gain anything with that. Cross dressing is a choice that you make, and with your 30 plus years, you don't owe them any explanation. Go your own way and make your own choices girl.

I wish you all the best...

:love:Dita.
Dita B,you are incredible! I'm having the same problem with my family.I'm
in a very dangerous predicament,though.I live by myself,I own my home,
and I have a key to my mothers house-My parents are divorced.I like to
go over to mothers house&fix stuff she wants done,but I also secretly enter
her closet&dress in her good wardrobe,I like to take a new,un opened pkg of
her pantyhose&slide into it&try on all of her outfits,dresses,skirts,blouses,
and her collection of shoes

[Dita_B]

Dita B,you are incredible! I'm having the same problem with my family.I'm
in a very dangerous predicament,though.I live by myself,I own my home,
and I have a key to my mothers house-My parents are divorced.I like to
go over to mothers house&fix stuff she wants done,but I also secretly enter
her closet&dress in her good wardrobe,I like to take a new,un opened pkg of
her pantyhose&slide into it&try on all of her outfits,dresses,skirts,blouses,
and her collection of shoes

Thank you for your kind words, Immike...

I don't want to rain on your parade girl, but your Mom has probably already picked up on the fact that someone is fooling around with her cloths. And since you have the keys, your Mom doesn't have to be Sherlock Holmes to suspect you for it. "It's elementary Watson!" You'll never be able to get that pantyhose back into that package and make it look like it was unopened. Besides many men have a very distinct odor that you will leave in her cloths and that Mom will recognize so fast that your head will spin...

Believe me, been there, done that.

When you own your own house, it is time you buy your own CD attire. Go to a Thrift store if your budget is limited, you can buy there all kind of goodies for next to nothing and stay away from your mother's closet...

:love: Dita.