down and out

[barbra]

isn"t this a great country we live in"everyone loves to judge others for what they do,but dont want to clean out there own closet.got my ears done two weks ago,both,and now i am called a f---g.go figger.i dont lnow if this gonna make any sence to you all,but i am trying to the best that i can.got dressed to go out saterday night just to go to the club down town alt,got all dressedup and it just did not look right.tryed to get my non supporting wife to help,but that did not work to good bad choice.so i got a throw a way camra and got some pictures of my self,though that would help but no,just got mad at my self and went into the bath room and took off everything and said i quit no more.i have been dressing since i was 9yrs old and i am in my fortys now.just cant seem to get it together latey.dont know whats wrong with me.i wish i could figger out a way to post my picture here and then you girls can judge for yourself and may try to help with what i am doing wrong.thank you for your time barbra.:sad::

[Tina Dixon]

It's the funk that seems to be getting a few of us on the site, have two cold ones and call me in the morning:D

[Slip Affinity]

I think everyone gets that way once in a while. It's part of life. As my dad used to say ... cheer up, better days are coming.

[Stephenie S]

The camera is a good idea. Unfortunately, I don't know how to do it. But I KNOW that if you can take a digital picture of your self, someone here can walk you through posting it on this forum. We would be happy to help you improve your presentation.

I feel that, most often, newbies tend not to dress appropriately. You see, a GG can dress to attract all the attention she wants. She does not have to worry about being "read". We, on the other hand, can't attract ANY attention if we want to pass un-noticed. As soon as someone starts to really scope us out, we're done for. You need to dress under the radar, so to speak. That means some pretty conservative dressing.

Now if you don't care what others think, dress how ever you want. I went throught this phase mayself in my 20s and 30s. Hi, hi heels, tight dresses, short, short skirts, outlandish outfits, etc. But I was young, and I didn't give a hoot what anyone else thought. This gives you a certain amount of freedom. And believe me, I attracted a lot of attention. Now, I don't want any attention. I want to live my life, dress how I want, and just be left alone. I need to dress so that my bank manager still respects me, my doctor will treat me with respect, my neighbors will still speak to me, and I am able to go through life without concern for ridicule and derision. So I dress in a pretty conservative manner.

How you act is also a big problem. Most of us have spent years hiding all aspects of our personality that even hint at femininity. We are deathly afraid of looking GAY. Well, that's something you will have to get over, and get over quick. When you ACT like a woman, you are going to be doing ALL those things that you normally associate with being gay. So hon, swish it up a little, small quick steps, swing those arms, wrists UP, elbows IN, SMILE, head up, chest OUT and UP.

Well, this is not a lesson plan, just a few pointers. Get that picture to us. We will try to help. There are many here with a LOT of experience.

Stephenie

[christina marie]

when you get your camera developed,check the box on the envelope for a picture cd( compact disc silly) then put in drive on pc and upload! and dont fret hun, we all have our bad days when nothing works right.heck, ive been havin' a monday for weeks now!

[AmberTG]

Oh, I think that's called frustration with a dash of guilt thrown in. It doesn't matter how good you look when you're in that frame of mind, you end up not happy with it. That's usually just your mind beating you up for being a cross-dresser. That used to happen to me a lot before I started talking to a therapist about my issues. I've come to a much better understanding of myself now, but every once in a while that old guilt rears it's ugly head again and I have to remind myself who I really am and that who I am is OK.

[Sheri 4242]

Barbara,

Sorry you are going through such a rough patch!!! You and I live about 4 hours from each other, which on the face of things isn't very helpful. That said, having lived in your locale for a number of years, I might be able to direct you to some help in your area -- but think it would be better if we communicate via PM regarding this like we did about MAC cosmetic locations. Before we go that route, let me ask you a few questions that are designed to let me direct you to proper assistance regardless of who it is from. First, if your wife is not supportive, let's forget that for the moment and concentrate on where you can get some help. Second, do you have a digital camera? (Forget the throw-away type cameras from K-Mart; you need a decent digital camera AND you need a tripod if you are working alone -- then you could post some photos on here that woud allow the forum members to help!) Next -- and you may want to PM the answers to these depending on your sense of personal security -- can you give a general description of yourself? For example, do you know what size dress you wear? What size skirt? What size shoes? Another thing that would be of help to know is how much free time you have? Can you schedule free time? And, what size wardrobe do you own? Do you have any budget to spend on clothing if the size of your wardrobe is not that big??? One last question about wardrobe: you and I are close in age -- and I know that I absolutely adore wearing MINISKIRTS. A huge amount of my wardrobe is devoted to miniskirts and minidresses. (I'm changing that slowly!) Yet, I have come to realize that they are not age-appropriate. Sans any photos, we kind of need to know what your current wardrobe consists of.

These may sound like ridiculous questions, but what I am trying to get at is a "snapshot" of your situation. Knowing this information "before the fact" could be of huge assistance.

Regarding available time off or wardrobe style and size, I'm not saying you need a lot of time off, or a new wardrobe. What I am trying to say is that the more info you can give about your personal situation, the better able we will be in directing you to specific help and/or assstance!!! By the wat, you are way closer to CDers and t-girls and tg-friendly groups than I am, so you are really ahead of the game!!! You just need to be directed to the appropriate help!!!