telling your children

[Tiana]

just wondered how many of you have told your children and if so what age were they and was there more problems with daughters or sons and how did you go about it and did you tell them with or without your so xx

[julie w]

why drag you children into you cd ing , unless you are going full time ,
I have said it before on this forum ( you cant go back into the closet
after you are out) think about who you tell one person knows everybody
knows ,

[KandisTX]

why drag you children into you cd ing , unless you are going full time ,
I have said it before on this forum ( you cant go back into the closet
after you are out) think about who you tell one person knows everybody
knows ,

That seems to be a bit of a close-minded way of looking at things julie. I told my daughter when she began asking more and more questions. That was over 2.5 years ago and she is now turning 12 this month. I think it depends on the child and how well they are being informed about it being okay for people to be differant.

Kandis:love:

[Karen Francis]

Let's see, married 34 years, 2 "children" boys who are now 25+27. Wife was aware of TG/CD thing before we were married. Among the discussions we had before we were married was when to tell the kids, if ever. We both agreed not to approach the subject with them until they were at least 18, and maybe never.
After they moved out, and I started to "concentrate" on this "hobby" I decided to tell them, mostly because I wanted to feel comfortable in my own home, and dress the way I chose.
I introduced them to Karen in the flesh, no pictures, no leading statements, no hinting. I have always been honest and up front with them about any subject, the more important the topic, the more honesty required. I gambled that they would accept the situation, and I was right, our relationships have grown stronger and closer in the year since they have been brought into my inner circle, which by the way is very small.
I am very glad I did not tell them when they younger. Adults don't do well with this type of situation, children would not have enough of life's wisdom to successfully assimilate a parent conducting themselves so contrary to mainstream values.
This was my story, everyone is different of course. If there is any question in your mind about what to do, that is the time to contact a professional therapist, before you damage a relationship with a younger > 18 year old child.

[Carroll]

here is an earlier thread that I posted
http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=63405

[Sally24]

I agree that every family and situation is different. I wasn't really active when the kids were small so it wasn't an issue. Now that I am "very" active it only made sense to talk to my adult daughter who lives with us. My wife and I talked about it, she wasn't sure, but let me go ahead. My daughter, 27, was very understanding and has adapted very well. We share clothes (same size except for height) and talk about fashions and such. It has really made me feel more comfortable at home and I think she is happy to not be kept out of the secret. I am slowly expanding the circle of people that know. It's not like I can keep it top secret if I continue to go out in the open on a regular basis. I even marched in the Pride parade so I've got to get a little more comfortable with being known.

[Phoebe Reece]

As others have said, everyone's situation is different. My wife has known about my crossdressing for all of our 38 years together. Before our children were born we decided that it would be important to promote honesty in our children by being honest with them about my dressing. The kids grew up with it. I am still just "Daddy" no matter how I am dressed. Our daughter is 31 and married (her husband knows about Phoebe too) and our son is 27 and single. It was never really a problem for our family. Although, there were a number of years when they were teenagers and would have friends drop by our home unexpectedly, that I simply could not dress freely at home.

[Missy]

have two sons one 25 the other 23 the 25 old son lives with me and my wife and the 23 old son lives with his mom. can not remember when they found out or who told them but the oldest son has had talks with my while i was setting on the bed just in panty and bra it dose not bother him the 23 old son still has a problem with my crossdressing.

Missy

[cdlaura2007]

My kids are still young, but I don't plan on telling them at this time. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I think growing up is hard enough without them having to deal with the crossdressing. Second, I'd be worried about an unintentional slip they might make and my secret getting out.

If they were older(18+) and living with me, I might consider it since I'm sure they would figure it out(there is no way my wife and I could wear the same size clothes). I think they'd also understand the importance of discretion as well.

[newtothelife]

Mine are to young at this time also. Maybe whn they are older. I guess it will have to depend on the situation. I will have to play it by ear.

[iiiman5]

I don't plan on telling my 3 boys any time soon as they are still very young. when they get older we will have to see how thing turn out. as i usualy only wear panties and some times pantyhose there is not much chance of them seeing me.

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

I think that seeing as our girls are young , and in a new centery.. i think we will not hide it from it.. i dont want them to grow up thinking they cant be who they want to be... the same reason i believe i make it common knowlege that my sister is a lesbian and im proud of her and i love her!
Becca

[julie w]

I accept some disagree with me in (not telling) , thats what a forum is for.
But
things dont always work out rosey when we tell love ones some peoples
lives are ruined we have all read them on this forum and others, I know two people
who have lost their family over (telling) so think what you may loose and is it worth the risk

[ReineD]

There is good advice on the Tri Ess site. See the section entitled "The Crossdresser and His Children".

http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html

Reine

[Bernadina]

Don't know or remember when my kids, all girls, figured it out. The problem now is they want to "borrow" (meaning "keep") my clothes. I hang a dress out to dry and 2 of them want it. Arrgh.