Confusing LOL

[SirTrey]

Okay, here goes....I'm FtM, My partner is MtF.....Because we BOTH identify as the opposite sex gender from what we are genetically....Are we a straight couple or, individually are we gay, but straight when we are with each other? Opinions, please? :) **Tracy**

[Joy Carter]

I think you both are still covered under the birds and bees clause in your contract.:rolleyes:

[Deborah Jane]

You sound like the perfect couple!

[CaptLex]

Are we a straight couple or, individually are we gay, but straight when we are with each other? Opinions, please? :) **Tracy**
I don't think there are any carved-in-stone definitions here - in my opinion, you are whatever you feel you are. Another couple in the same situation may feel differently, but that's okay too. No black and white there - just shades of gray (or is it grey? I always forget). :happy:

[Kieron Andrew]

if it works it works....im also FTM and my partner is MTF :)

[Shelly Preston]

The main thing is you are both happy

No need to worry about the labels :)

[TxKimberly]

Okay, here goes....I'm FtM, My partner is MtF.....Because we BOTH identify as the opposite sex gender from what we are genetically....Are we a straight couple or, individually are we gay, but straight when we are with each other? Opinions, please? :) **Tracy**

Your making my head hurt!
Just teasing! It does SOUND ideal. Having said that, one of the things that I've learned in 41 years is that things that SOUND ideal rarely are. I would be interested to hear from you about the ups and downs. Do y'all bump heads over this stuff ir IS it ideal? :-)

[SirTrey]

Hi Kimberly,
I agree with you a thousand percent, nothing is ideal....but we make it work pretty darned well...I definitely float FtM, personality-wise, though I am not there yet to the point where I necessarily dress the part completely, that is a process...Right now, I would call My look more "adnrogynous"...Tony is less MtF than I am FtM....In the short term that has not been a problem...and a certain part of what She is doing is to accommodate Me because I am Dominant....and because there can't be two men in this relationship...and I need to be that....more than "she" needs to be a "he"....So that's where we are at and we will see how it works.....Seems to be good, though....She certainly does the things She has to do to make Hubby happy thusfar...:) I will keep you posted...and how are things in YOUR corner of the world? **Tracy**

[Cai]

I understand what you're saying about needing to be in charge, but it worries me that you're saying Tony is changing to suit you. You couldn't go back from being an FtM to being a woman for anyone, right? Don't ask Tony to go from being male to being an MtF if she's not ready for that.

To answer the original question, I have two sides. One is - you're a straight couple in the other direction, ie. you're the man and she's the woman. The other side is just to ignore the labels and let your relationship work.

[SirTrey]

Hi Cai,
It's not that Tony is necessarily trying to change for Me...She assures Me that she wants to do this...and she does have a lot of very feminine traits, she always has....She is, more or less, trying to embrace her feminine self more, partly BECAUSE of the way that I float, but, I think that's different than trying to be something that she inately isn't...But I do have the same concerns that you do and frequently bring up that very topic...I AM Dominant...and I DO like to be in charge...but not like that....Not when it comes to expecting, or even WANTING someone to change something as important as their gender identity for Me....I would NEVER want someone to do that for Me, nor would I even allow it....That's why I am just kind of taking it as it comes...One day at a time....Just like My transition...In the long run, only time will tell....Thanks so much for your input...and thanks for caring about Tony, I appreciate that....**Tracy**

[Cai]

That's clearer then - you're just encouraging traits that she already has, not pushing new things. That's great - exactly the kind of support a SO should provide.

Like the others said, I hope your relationship is as ideal as that situation sounds.

[TxKimberly]

...and how are things in YOUR corner of the world? . . .

Well that DOES sound ideal to me. Your traits compliment each other. My wife and I have the problem where NEITHER of us is terribly dominant. Results in a lot of "Oh, I don't know. What do YOU think we should do?" going back and forth. It would be a releif if at least one of us was the type to say "This is how it should/will be done!" LOL

And things in my corner of the world are going pretty well, thanks for asking! My wife and I are about to complete our 20th year of marriage, my children are healthy and reasonably happy - what more can you really ask for? :-)

[ZenFrost]

Instead of trying to decide if you're a straight or gay couple, you could just say you're a 'creative' couple and leave it at that.

[Leah B]

Straight + gay = Stray? Maybe you're a stray couple :)

[SirTrey]

OMG Leah....That's hysterical.....You may have coined the new "it" word....LOL I like it, I may start using it, if you don't mind! **Tracy**

[John]

Instead of trying to decide if you're a straight or gay couple, you could just say you're a 'creative' couple and leave it at that.

I second that!

I gave up a while back trying to identify a sexuality I fall into, enless I have to explain to people that realy wouldn't understand (although 'quear in every manner' tends to do me niclly).