About "addiction" and us

[Lisa Maren]

Hi everyone

I have always felt that addiction does not describe what is inside of me. I have felt that there is a good reason why "addiction", which can be an appropriate description in some cases, should never be used as a blanket term to describe the phenomena of crossdressing and transgenderism.

Here's my thought:

Addiction seems to me to be one of two things: A rush (from something like gambling), or a fix (from a drug). When it's a fix, the need or the goal is to alter the mind and at least temporarily disconnect oneself from reality. When it's a rush, it's a pursuit of excitement that produces the desired chemical in the brain.

My own femininity, anyway, is all about making my mind as clear as possible and achieving as much reality as possible -- a completely opposite concept to drug addiction! My femininity is also all about finding peace, not a rush -- completely opposite to gambling addiction.

Just thought I'd share that interesting little tidbit.

Hugs,
Lisa

[cindianna_jones]

I believe that for some, certain aspects of this is a fetish. And I also believe that a fetish can become addictive.

For example... I loved to dress up really nice. It made me feel good in a sexual way. I enjoyed that part of it. I wanted more and more.

But at the same time, being out in public, forming friendships, and becoming socially female, were not a fetish in any way.

Now, many years after transition, I still enjoy getting dressed up nice. It still makes me feel sexy. However, I no longer have a fetish or addictive feeling about it.

In the end, I don't think that it matters all that much. The internal drive will likely push you to the "logical" end.... that which suits your true self.

Cindi

[melissaK]

Lisa, Cindi,

Interesting comments on doping out the meaning of addiction in the world of CDing. Contemporary drug treatment research is showing plenty of evidence about how drugs affect brain chemistry by lighting up sensory input and brain pleasure pathways, etc., with the inference that the brain is wired to repeat acts that make it 'happy' and an addiction results.

I suppose by extension the autogynephyllia argument is reducable to self induced addiction; the CD/TG act of crossdressing brings the CD into touch with the opposite sex, and this triggers a release of sex hormones that make the brain 'happy' so the cross dressing is perpetuated. This would be the 'fetish' - 'addiction' link Cindi refers too?

And then there's the other part of the 'need' to CD or be TS which you both refer to. There's more to it all than the sex. Some other type of fulfillment occurs when we stop being guys and get to be women.

Long story, but the short of it is I am non transistioning, but am on hormones (E only). The E has a calming affect on me. I am less anxiety riddled, calmer, happier. I can get through my day. I have been on/off E and have been rather studious about it all, noting my dosages and feelings. And I feel confident I have ruled out 'the excitement of starting hormones' or other transient life factors as being the real cause. It's the E.

So, E is a hormone. Hormones are steroids. They affect brain chemistry as well as body chemistry. I guess a cynic could say its just another addiction.
Such cyclical reasoning is no help. :heehee: I haven't really figured out how to live with myself without living as a woman, or without E. Right now doing it with E is my alternative of choice.

hugs,
'lissa

[AmberTG]

Well, if you really want to go that far, food is an addiction, it changes our blood and brain chemistry.