New, and i have a ton of questions!

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

Hello! first off , My husband and i have been married for almost 3 years. first off i noticed nothing off persay. but after we started making it known that we were serious, i started hearing rumors. at first i shrugged them off and thought nothing about them.. then here recently i have been finding womens clothes in my size ( hubby and i are same size and almost same height) and these clothes werent mine! i asked him and he had excuses.. but in the last 2 weeks, i have seen him as a CDer 2 seperate times.. both times in our anique car.. one that now one has around here that is even similar. i noticed as i read the posts here.. that many CDers SO's are like me supportive.. he does not know that i know.. if he does he doesnt want to admit it. i want him to be comfortable and happy. which i know he cant do either here.. he cant CD any time he wants.. only in seceret.
my main question is How do i approach him and let him know that it doesnt bother me?? i know his 3 other marriages have ended abruptly i am assuming because of the CD part of him. if he would just come and tell me, i am so tired of the lies and hurt by the lies.. the lies are starting to add up with him and i would really like a true CDer's opinion on this if i can! has anyones wife confronted them about cd? if so, were they supportive or nonsupportive about it??
i know my hubby likes nail polish and i know the colors he likes to wear .. my colors LOL so i bought some goregous (sorry bad spelling) nail polish and i am hoping he will let me paint his toenails , something he lets me do from time to time, but he always feels he has to remove it. and i want to tell him he doesnt have to take it off.. is that a good idea??
i am looking forward to getting to know you all better and you maybe help me help my hubby??
i would like to plan a trip to portland oregon and visit some CD friends of mine.. and he could cd the whole time and we could go shopping!
sorry about the novel i just wrote.. but i am curious! lol
thanks ahead of time!
Becca

[Ashley Lynn Swift]

honestly just surprise him buy him a dress or something girlie, and make sure to tell him you love him. if he trys to denie it just be honest with him after all if your married he should know you well enough to know that your not stupid or blind, to girlie things

[trannie T]

Talk. A key to any successful relationship is communication. He does not know how lucky he is to have such an understanding wife.

[StephanieT]

Just talk to him. Communication is the great healer of all issues. Tell him you know. I am not out to my wife but she takes me for pedicures and I have my nails with color and she knows I like it. None confrontive communication is essential.

Stephanie

[Lori SC]

i know his 3 other marriages have ended abruptly i am assuming because of the CD part of him. if he would just come and tell me, i am so tired of the lies and hurt by the lies.. the lies are starting to add up with him and i would really like a true CDer's opinion on this if i can! has anyones wife confronted them about cd? if so, were they supportive or nonsupportive about it??
Becca


First Becca, don't assume the marriages ended because of CDing. Usually marriages are in trouble, and CDing only adds to the problems (or the focus is on the CDing so the other problems are ignored). Maybe you can snoop around and get a better idea of what hapened? What had DH said about the previous marriages?

Confronting your DH about his CDing will go either of two ways.

One, the best, is he will be greatly relieved that you know, and, will probably share some of that side with you.

The other more likely occurance, is that DH IS NOT ready to reveal herself to you. (After all he came up with excuses about the clothes). What you will probably do is just creat a big problem. You will want to know more about it and DH will probably clam up and feel you are invading very, very private secrets that she is not willing to share.

If your DH is not ready to talk about it, you're not going to be able to make her.

There is a LOT of self induced guilt that goes along with CDing, so bringing the subject up gets into this area. - Hence all the denials.

If you do paint DH's toenails, keep encouraging her to wear the polish, especially in winter when males wear closed toe shoes.

I wouldn't suggest an outing with other CDs until you and DH have had many discussions about CDing. You don't know if DH has social interaction with anyone, or just drives around. Meeting someone else while dressed is a big step!

Keep encouraging in small overt ways. Such as:
- Rent the movie Transamerica and suggest watching it together (assuming this isn't way out of character for you two).
- If you have a chance to go anywhere in costume, suggest DH go as a woman (Halloween is a long ways away though).
- Make sure you have a subscription of Victorias Secret catalog mailed to your house, and leave it around for a while.
- Always be alert to opportunities to bring up the subject. There are always news articles, or Dear Abby columns that could fit in.

Continue learning about CDing in these posts. Your DH will be his own unique combination of characteristics, but everything she is will be covered on this board at one time or another.

Lastly, when you do bring the subject up (and I'm guessing it won't be long), be prepared for more denials. Once she does admit to it, you may not be able to put up with what she wants. Councilling is always a good thing - for both of you.

Hugs, Lori

[Mary Morgan]

OMG, another supportive spouse who cares more about her husband and their relationship than about his dressing. What is the world coming to? God bless you for putting your priorities in the right order. We should all be so lucky.

[Robin Leigh]

By painting his toenails, you have let him know that you are not uncomfortable with CDing. And these nail painting sessions have given him a perfect opportunity to bring up the subject. So I'm guessing that he's so deep in the closet & so used to hiding this that it's extremely difficult for him to broach this subject with you. And if you bring the subject up, he's quite likely to deny it. It may take a bit of time & effort to convince him that you are really OK with it.

When a CD is deep in the closet, we expend a lot of energy hiding it from others & denying it to ourselves. Unless he comes to a forum like this, he may have not discussed CDing much with others, and is likely to have poor self-esteem relating to his CDing practices.

Maybe you should buy a book like "My Husband Betty", or similar. Read it first, then wrap it up nicely & give it to him as a present. Just a suggestion, but it may work.

Good luck! The sooner you two have "The Talk" the better, IMHO. End the anxiety that you both must be feeling, and start having fun. :)

:hugs:

Robin

[rebeca_abigail30]

I tried to tell my DW that I still loved her and that I would probably have ended up a lesbian if born female, because I am still into the female anatomy. I think she might be worried about what the boys (our kids) would think if they knew they Dad was a CDer.

She still refuses to go to the therapist with me, and refuses to let me "out."

[TxKimberly]

I'd say you should tell him what you just told us. That pretty well settles it:
"I know and it's OK." That's about as good as it gets for us. :-)

[Michelle (Oz)]

I'd say you should tell him what you just told us. That pretty well settles it:
"I know and it's OK." That's about as good as it gets for us. :-)

My only additional thought is to get the point across to your husband that lying and deception cannot be part of a marriage. This is the main after effect of my revelation to my wife even though there was no denial just no disclosure. It takes a long time to heal and to trust again.

Michelle (Oz)

[Alice B]

Approach him direcly. Let him know that you are OK with it and want to be a part of his other side. Then let it settle in as he may be defensive at first. Maybe even buy him a present, such as some make-up or an outfit that you like and want to share with him. This will set him back at first, but he should soon real;ize what a gem he has in you. You might even refer him to this site for confirmation from us that are also dressers and to let him know that we realize how difficult it is for him to be open with you, but that just how special you are. Good luck and keep us informed about how it is going.:love:

[Dayna]

Becca,

You are bound to get a lot of advice, here, and many (most?) of us will be supportive and encouraging, because that's the way we want OUR spouses to be!

If you found his femme clothes, I would suggest he wanted you to find them...

There is a lot of info out there, and more being written all the time... it can be confusing to navigate the waters of CD / TG / TS / etc... if you research carefully, you might discover that you know more about your hubby's proclivities than HE does!

This could be the beginning of a journey for both of you; be open, be honest, and to the best of your ability be supportive. Demand that he be open and honest with you. And remember, no matter what he wears, or what color his toenails are, he is the man you fell in love with!

[CharleneCD]

I have to agree, its great to see another supportive wife. You are one in a million.

As for your hubby you need to find a way to get him out of his closet so you can tell him the lies are unacceptable and need to stop.

How to get him out, you can either be direct, which may or may not work, or get creative. By all means go for the nails thing. Tell him you think it would be sexy for him to have his nails painted by you. Speaking of sexy, and this depends on what you are comfortable with, and what you are attracted to, ask him to wear a frilly pair of panties to bed. If that doesnt do it, and you are comfortable, suggest a little dominance play. As shown in another current thread many of us are turned on at the idea of forced dressing. So get him to play the submissive role and pick him out something to wear and make him do it. Afterwards make sure to tell your S/O how much you liked him dressed.

Just some idea's. hope you find the one that works for you.

[immike]

Hello! first off , My husband and i have been married for almost 3 years. first off i noticed nothing off persay. but after we started making it known that we were serious, i started hearing rumors. at first i shrugged them off and thought nothing about them.. then here recently i have been finding womens clothes in my size ( hubby and i are same size and almost same height) and these clothes werent mine! i asked him and he had excuses.. but in the last 2 weeks, i have seen him as a CDer 2 seperate times.. both times in our anique car.. one that now one has around here that is even similar. i noticed as i read the posts here.. that many CDers SO's are like me supportive.. he does not know that i know.. if he does he doesnt want to admit it. i want him to be comfortable and happy. which i know he cant do either here.. he cant CD any time he wants.. only in seceret.
my main question is How do i approach him and let him know that it doesnt bother me?? i know his 3 other marriages have ended abruptly i am assuming because of the CD part of him. if he would just come and tell me, i am so tired of the lies and hurt by the lies.. the lies are starting to add up with him and i would really like a true CDer's opinion on this if i can! has anyones wife confronted them about cd? if so, were they supportive or nonsupportive about it??
i know my hubby likes nail polish and i know the colors he likes to wear .. my colors LOL so i bought some goregous (sorry bad spelling) nail polish and i am hoping he will let me paint his toenails , something he lets me do from time to time, but he always feels he has to remove it. and i want to tell him he doesnt have to take it off.. is that a good idea??
i am looking forward to getting to know you all better and you maybe help me help my hubby??
i would like to plan a trip to portland oregon and visit some CD friends of mine.. and he could cd the whole time and we could go shopping!
sorry about the novel i just wrote.. but i am curious! lol
thanks ahead of time!
Becca
Dear Becca-
You are 1 in a million? He is a lucky guy!I am a closet CD,trapped forever
in secrecy?My reasons are different-as I enjoy secretly entering my mothers
closet&dressing in her good wardrobe.I wish I could find an understanding
woman to help me understand this problem.I am petrified of discovery,should
I be caught dressed in one of mothers good short skirtsuits&silk blouse,and
a pair of suntan pantyhose&her black heels.I would probably be disowned

[Holly]

Becca, this is going to feel odd for me because the advice I am about to give you is the advice we usually give to the CDer but here goes anyway... slow down, girl. Yes, the two of you need to talk. Yes, it needs to happen soon. No, don't plan a big weekend out without an agreement from your husband. You need to find out from him just where he is at on his journey. You say you have CD friends in Portland. You seem to have some experience with this way of life. This makes you somewhat unique (and special).

Maybe you can get a special outfit for your husband to wear and plan a special evening for just the two of you. Be as honest with him as you have been with us here. Tell him that you love him and that it pains you that there is this secret between the two of you. Let him know that you value truth and honesty above all in your relationship and that today is the day the two of you tear down this last barrier. Then sit back and let DH set the pace. Discuss limits and boundaries. Ask how you can help. Talk, talk, talk!

I wish you both the very best. :hugs:

[SatinDoll00]

My advice (and this is nothing short of my fantasy concerning my wife and I)... take him out to dinner. After a great meal, go to a local bar, have a drink or two, then tell him that you want to go shopping. Go into a mall, go into a nice store, try on a dress or two...ask him what he thinks. Then, start looking around at other items. (shopping sort of puts us Gurls in fuzzy, warm, mood) Suggest some lingerie for him...let him know that you would like to see it on him. Once he is blown away, kiss him, and let him know that you know, and that you are okay with it, and that he is the most important thing in your life...all of him...and that includes his feminine side.

If that happened to me, I would be sold for life. Nothing my wife did after that would ever bother me...because she would love me...ME.

Morgan

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

OMG all you girls are so great!! i love all of you already! I am nervous but excited all at once! I have known of a lot of CDers. and i personally know 3 that live in protland, so yes i am familiar with this.. and yes it is a turn on for me so i hope this goes well.. he is great husband , great father and a great lover.. i only want for him to be happy and comfortable in his surroundings which i know will never be where we live now.. people are too old fashioned! my sister has been a great help to me which i sort of expected and the funny thing is, she kinda sorta knew already.. since me and my hubby got married. she had never seen him, but she had her suspsions.
and surprisingly, my mom is very supportive.. she about gave me a coranary this morning. but any who, i know that one day all you girls out there will find a SO that will be supportive of your CDing. thanks again to all! ill keep u updated! and yes i will refer him to this forum . he will be amazed !
love to all!
Becca

[SatinDoll00]

OMG all you girls are so great!! i love all of you already! I am nervous but excited all at once! I have known of a lot of CDers. and i personally know 3 that live in protland, so yes i am familiar with this.. and yes it is a turn on for me so i hope this goes well.. he is great husband , great father and a great lover.. i only want for him to be happy and comfortable in his surroundings which i know will never be where we live now.. people are too old fashioned! my sister has been a great help to me which i sort of expected and the funny thing is, she kinda sorta knew already.. since me and my hubby got married. she had never seen him, but she had her suspsions.
and surprisingly, my mom is very supportive.. she about gave me a coranary this morning. but any who, i know that one day all you girls out there will find a SO that will be supportive of your CDing. thanks again to all! ill keep u updated! and yes i will refer him to this forum . he will be amazed !
love to all!
Becca

Wow girlfriend!!! You have told everyone but him:) !!!

DO IT!!

I would LOVE it if my wife knew and was okay with it...or better yet, happy with it!!!!

OMG...if my wife were this cool, I would be the happiest GURL on the planet!!!

Sadly...no.

But I digress. I have decided to no longer bring anyone down here!!! I am just happy for those out there that can find someone as awesome as you!! YOU sis, are the greatest thing that ever happened to one of us (a shout out to ALL the GGs that support us Gurls!!!!)

Seriously,

He is a lucky, lucky, *******!!! :)

Do not let this opportunity pass you by. He wants you to accept him, otherwise, you would NOT know...unless he is dumbass...and even then...isn't that cute??

SO...with all of this said...let him know that you know...and do it RIGHT!!!

Satin Doll...Morgana...Morgan (I know, pick a name already!!)

[BarbaraTalbot]

but many of us can hardly believe that acceptance would ever come, or that it would be real, or sincere, or unconditional or, or or..


My wife found clothes 2 months ago, was kind and told me she doesn't mind. I heard it like she would 'let' me, but wouldn't be into it. I had been buying the clothes and practicing, wanting her first view of Barbara (I had only just picked the name around then) to be one of an attractive woman, not a hairy dude in a dress. (Not that there is anything wrong with that)

I said to her, well if you aren't interested then I'll just put her back in the closet for another 35 years.

I am glad she found this site, persisted in demonstrating her acceptance and has worked on forgiving some of the peripheral non-cd related issues that were the core of her concerns about my sneaky behavior.

Wen Dee and I married (15 years ago) she starved herself down to weigh less than my anorexic runners frame for quite a while we shared a fair number of unisex clothes (with her knowledge) jeans, polos, jackets and the like..and a fair number of selections from Fredrick's and VS that well, she didn't know about. She asked me the other day with a smile if she had ever had any truly virginal intimates.

We have talked about how as a straight CD I am turned on my the girl in the mirror. In a lot of ways our choices in spouses reflects this. He most likely finds you so attractive that he wants to be you in some ways.

The dressing especially with borrowing and sharing tastes comes with baggage. We grew up doing this with friends, acquaintances, sisters and often end up attaching guilt to our dress-up games.

I have read of other CD's who cannot or will not talk with their spouses about dressing even with positive assurance,and still others who come out and report diminshed desirs since its not a naughty secret anymore. For the most part most corssdressing men would kill or part with a limb (well maybe not a leg) to have what I have with my wife and what he could have with you.

Having said that Hollys post is very sage:


Becca, this is going to feel odd for me because the advice I am about to give you is the advice we usually give to the CDer but here goes anyway... slow down, girl. Yes, the two of you need to talk. Yes, it needs to happen soon. No, don't plan a big weekend out without an agreement from your husband. You need to find out from him just where he is at on his journey. You say you have CD friends in Portland. You seem to have some experience with this way of life. This makes you somewhat unique (and special).

Maybe you can get a special outfit for your husband to wear and plan a special evening for just the two of you. Be as honest with him as you have been with us here. Tell him that you love him and that it pains you that there is this secret between the two of you. Let him know that you value truth and honesty above all in your relationship and that today is the day the two of you tear down this last barrier. Then sit back and let DH set the pace. Discuss limits and boundaries. Ask how you can help. Talk, talk, talk!

I wish you both the very best. :hugs:

Keep in mind that he may or may not be comfortable with himself (probably not we usually aren't) and may or may not be ready to associate himself with others that do something that he could well have issues about doing. For example, I thought (wrongly) that crossdressing was a pretty 'gay' activity. I knew I wasn't but didn't know what to think of why I wanted to do it, what would 'happen to me' if I persisted. Lots of repression..(thanks mom!) If he has feeling like that, the last thing he is ready for is make-up tips from drag queens. (Me I'd be open to a discussion of tucking techniques with Rue Paul now, but that is now, not when I was in the closet and confused.)



Good luck and Best wishes.

[Mollyanne]

Hi Becca, as all the girls here have said "Have a sitdown now and a heart to heart talk" about this NOW!!!!! I am a cd'er and have been all my life, my wife and I have had "the talk" several times and we both agreed "don't ask don't tell", in our situation this works for us. My wife knows of my obsession to become female and accepts it but doesn't approve or accept it, she wants her husband and I accept this also!!!! I become female when the time is right for it and become her husband all the other times.
As far as the right time to discuss this why not try doing it when you are applying nail polish to her toes, she can't get away and you now have her entire attention.

Not only do you have friends hee but sisters as well!!!


:love: Mollyanne

[SatinDoll00]

but many of us can hardly believe that acceptance would ever come, or thatit would be real, or sincere, or unconditonal or, or or..


My wife found slothes 2 months ago, was kind and told me she doesnt mind. I heard it like she would 'let' me, but wouldnt be into it. I had been buying theclothes and practicing, wanting her first view of Barbara (I had only ust picked the name around then) to be one of an attractive woman, not a hairy dude in a dress. (Not that there is anything wrong with that)

I said to her, well if you arent interested then I'll ust put her back in the closet for another 35 years.

I am glad she found this site, persisted in demonstrating her acceptance and has worked on forgiving some of the peripheral non-cd related issues that were the core of her concerns about my sneaky behavior.

Wen Dee and I married (15 years ago) she starved herself down to weigh less than my anorexic runners frame for quite a while we shared a fair number of unisex clothes (with her knowledge) jeans, polos, jackets and the like..and a fair number of selections from Fredrick's and VS that well, she didnt know about. She asked me the other day with a smile if she had ever had any truly virginal intimates.

We have talked about how as a straight CD I am turned on my the girl in the mirror. In a lot of ways our choices in spouses reflects this. He most likely finds you so attractive that he wants to be you in some ways.

The dressing especially with borrowing and sharing tastes comes with baggage. We grew up doing this with friends, acquaintances, sisters and often end up attaching guilt to our dress-up games.

I have read of other CD's who cannot or will not talk with their spouses about dressing even with positive assurance,and still others who come out and report diminshed desirs since its not a naughty secret anymore. For the most part most corssdressing men would kill or part with a limb (well maybe not a leg) to have what I have with my wife and what he could have with you.

Good luck and Best wishes.

Yep. What she said.

Morgan

[Sheri 4242]

Like Robin Leigh said, you have let him know that you are aware of, and not uncomfortable with, his CDing. I agree that he's deep in the closet -- and one thing you need to understand is that most of us grew up with such tremendous fear, shame, and guilt, that it is difficult to get beyond that point -- difficult but not impossible!!! Many of us have had the feelings we have since we were 3-4 years old!!! It is a horrible way to grow up -- knowing you have certain feelings, but instinctively knowing you should keep it a deep secret -- thinking that maybe you are the only person who feels like you do!!!

You have got to let him know that "honesty" is a major component of a vibrant marriage, that he cannot continue to make decisions that are your's to make, and that you are makng the decision to be on this path with him. It doesn't get any better than that!!!!!!!

[SatinDoll00]

Like Robin Leigh said, you have let him know that you are aware of, and not uncomfortable with, his CDing. I agree that he's deep in the closet -- and one thing you need to understand is that most of us grew up with such tremendous fear, shame, and guilt, that it is difficult to get beyond that point -- difficult but not impossible!!! Many of us have had the feelings we have since we were 3-4 years old!!! It is a horrible way to grow up -- knowing you have certain feelings, but instinctively knowing you should keep it a deep secret -- thinking that maybe you are the only person who feels like you do!!!

You have got to let him know that "honesty" is a major component of a vibrant marriage, that he cannot continue to make decisions that are your's to make, and that you are makng the decision to be on this path with him. It doesn't get any better than that!!!!!!!


A horrible way to grow up??

No offense sweetie, 'cause I know what you meant, but I would not trade A MINUTE for a "regular" childhood.

In fact, I, as Morgan, owe my existance to it.

Morgan

[Sheri 4242]

A horrible way to grow up?? No offense sweetie, 'cause I know what you meant, but I would not trade A MINUTE for a "regular" childhood. In fact, I, as Morgan, owe my existance to it. Morgan

I, too, wouldn't trade a minute for who and what I am!!! But, the "horrible" parts are the mental aspects -- those times when one is younger and thinks, "am I the only one?" It is, more often than not, an extremely lonely existence for many a CDer at that point -- until you finally accept yourself and see what a wonderful gift it can be!!! Some who come to this forum are still struggling!!! Still working through the mental and emotional baggage -- the guilt and fear -- sometimes shame and misunderstanding -- the purges.

Nope!!! I wouldn't change a thing b/c I guess that which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger!!! But, in fifty-something years of being a crossdresser, I can't say that there weren't very low points along the way to self-acceptance!!! Hopefully my avatar photo says it all -- a twinkle in the eye and a big smile -- Sheri accepted, by heself and her wife!!! The journey just gets better and better!!!

[Robin Leigh]

I like to think I'm fairly accepting of the TG aspects of my personality, although it's impossible to completely remove the traces of years of repression, shame & guilt. I know I still have a way to go before I am proud enough of being TG to go out en femme with out some negative feelings.

(Of course, even the most liberated TG people still need to be cautious! It can still be a dangerous place for us & our loved ones. Even if we are not physically in danger, we can still cause social chaos in small communities.)

Repressing our TG feelings & trying to deny them certainly has a negative impact on our emotional development & can cause us much pain. I'm glad that I am who I am, I just wish I could have gotten here without so much pain.

:hugs:

Robin

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Sheri 4242;962088]Like Robin Leigh said, you have let him know that you are aware of, and not uncomfortable with, his CDing. I agree that he's deep in the closet -- and one thing you need to understand is that most of us grew up with such tremendous fear, shame, and guilt, that it is difficult to get beyond that point -- difficult but not impossible!!! Many of us have had the feelings we have since we were 3-4 years old!!! It is a horrible way to grow up -- knowing you have certain feelings, but instinctively knowing you should keep it a deep secret -- thinking that maybe you are the only person who feels like you do!!!

Ditto's Sheri !!!!!!!!

So I'm confused here. You are accepting. You have friends who are CD. And he's not out to you ?

[Tree GG]

OK, I'll be the anti-cheerleader here. What is his flippin' problem? You find his clothes (that he left accessible) - then he out-n-out lies; he goes out in the car dressed and you (plus anyone else who looks) sees him - does he think he has an invisomobile or something? You paint his nails, but he still denies he is a CD?

I fully understand the awkwardness and self-doubts of the CD coming out and sympathize, HOWEVER, the cat is out of the bag and he's absolutely refusing to acknowledge it. He's in denial for some reason or is avoiding including you with all his might. (I've become quite familiar w/ denial as well :happy:)

In my opinion, it's a good idea to smack his backside with Tamara's 2x4 (ok, pad it w/ satin and foam if you want) but get his attention and say, "Hey, I know already and it's OK. Actually I like it, but you include me to your comfort level (realize this could be zero). Please don't lie to me though, or insult my intelligence."

But then that's just me. Pussy-footing around issues rarely gets them resolved in my experience.

[Di]

i have been finding womens clothes in my size ( hubby and i are same size and almost same height) and these clothes werent mine! i asked him and he had excuses.. but in the last 2 weeks, i have seen him as a CDer 2 seperate times.. both times in our anique car.. one that now one has around here that is even similar. i noticed as i read the posts here.. that many CDers SO's are like me supportive.. he does not know that i know.. if he does he doesnt want to admit it. i want him to be comfortable and happy. which i know he cant do either here.. he cant CD any time he wants.. only in seceret.
my main question is How do i approach him and let him know that it doesnt bother me?? i know his 3 other marriages have ended abruptly i am assuming because of the CD part of him. if he would just come and tell me, i am so tired of the lies and hurt by the lies.. the lies are starting to add up with him and i would really like a true CDer's opinion on this if i can! has anyones wife confronted them about cd? if so, were they supportive or nonsupportive about it??

Becca

Well you need to tell him you found his things and saw him.....and you want to be supportive.......BUT NO MORE LIES AND EXCUSES.......You want to be included and lies and sneaking and excuses are not acceptable.

[KimberlyS]

Well you need to tell him you found his things and saw him.....and you want to be supportive.......BUT NO MORE LIES AND EXCUSES.......You want to be included and lies and sneaking and excuses are not acceptable.

I ditto Di. If fact call him now if you can and tell him you need to have a talk tonight. Then you are committed and can not chicken out.

Your hubby is a lucky man to have you as wife with the support you are already giving him and he does not even know it yet. I hope it goes well. Invite him here.

[hunny67]

Hi, I would by him a lovely outfit & lay it out on the bed, when he comes home to change go up with him & ask him to put the clothes on that you have bought him.
My partner is a cd & he told me a few weeks into our relationship, i wasnt shocked & i accepted it, but now ive grown to love her all dressed up & helping apply makeup & buying clothes together.
So sit down with him & talk ask as many questions as you want as its your right. Tell him no more lies & you still love him & you,ve know for along time.
Dont really know what else to write but you are more than welcome to PM me.

Hunny67 GG x

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

Tonite is the nite, i have purchased a few items.. nail polish.. and a really cute outfit.... (which i will have to buyone for me too!) the kids are gone to my parents... i will let you all know how it goes!
((HUGS))
Becca

[rebeca_abigail30]

Wish you the best!

[KandisTX]

Tonite is the nite, i have purchased a few items.. nail polish.. and a really cute outfit.... (which i will have to buyone for me too!) the kids are gone to my parents... i will let you all know how it goes!
((HUGS))
Becca

Best of luck hon. :hugs::hugs:

Kandis:love:

[SatinDoll00]

Good luck sweetie!!

Morgan

[KimberlyS]

i hope it goes well.

[Toyah]

Very good luck hun if he does not apreciate what you have done thats really bad :hugs:

[Rhonda480]

The easiest thing in the world would be to buy him something. That is what most of us would accept as a lincense to continue. It does not have to be expensive, but that helps. It also helps to be some thing close to him...if you know what i mean....

[occdresser]

As a crossdresser I never wanted my wife to know. But after 15 years of being together she found out:eek:, We are about the same size, so that is how I hid it for such a long time, then the crossdressing urges got stronger and I had to buy my own womens cloths, so consequently she was cleaning my closet one day and wham!:cry: she found out, are you gay? Are you seeing another girl? no, no and no! I am not sure if he is going to be up to meeting cd friends of yours, but you never know. It might be fun, bring it up after a few:drink: :bye: and good luck, if you have any other ?s pm me.

[Rachel Morley]

Your husband is a very lucky guy. Yes, keep us posted on how it goes. I think it's time for both of you to come clean and as long as there is lots of love and trust between the two of you I think you'll be fine. :hugs:

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

i had to send hime to the gas station to get some ice.. i broke my toe this afternoon .. OUCHHHHH lol but here goes everything! i hope soon he will be joining us here!!
Becca

[Holly]

:cheer:Yea, Becca:cheer: I wish the two of you an eternity of happiness. Good luck!

[Dita_B]

Dear Becca,

I soooo hope for you that it turned out alright, but I would have advised strongly against the confrontation you have forced upon him...

IMHO he needs time to come to terms with himself. When you force that, even with the best intentions, you may get the opposite result.

I am holding my breath for you...

and...I wish my wife would be as understanding.

All the best to you girl, you are a heaven sent.

:love:Dita.

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

PINK THONG lol. Thats part of the outfit.. lol WOW he is still a bit shy about it.. but he wore the thong to bed last nite! and i painted his nails.... im sure it will take time but we have taken the first step thanks to all of you for the kind words and advice!!! we have 3 days where at night we can just talk, so i look forward to that!
Becca

[Katie Moore]

Ok hon, what was the resr of the outfit? Pink thongs is a good start... painted toenails are awesome but cmon and spill the beans......

:love:

Wishful

[myhubbycrosdressesGG]

i went to VIctoria seceret and bought some lingerie. like i said , DH and i are about the same size and almost the same height. the thong is the seamless low rise thong.. and a lace trim baby doll maroon in color.. i love both on him... if he would let me, i woulda used all my space on my memorycard lol
Becca

[KimberlyS]

I am glad it has gone good so far and hope it keeps up.

Just so you know, some CDs will regress and not want to CD at all. Usually this is due to an internal conflict between your acceptance and living with hiding it so long.

The best thing is to keep the communication going about his and your feelings, especially as you progress and do different things. But always also, as feelings can change even doing the same things.

I wish you both the best. And I hope your toe is doing better.

[alanaundie]

If I thought that I'd get the sort of support from my wife as you seem prepared to offer your hubby, I'd be coming out like a shot! I always had a fantasy that I would wear some of my wife's undies in bed and that she would get in and be turned on by it. I've never had the courage to try it, but I would suggest that if you want him to be open about it, the bed may be the place to start (you suggest to him that it would be a turn-on for you if he were to slip into a pair of your panties etc etc).
Just saying this from the perspective of a closet CD! Hope something works out for you...

[Sheilababe]

I wish I had an understanding wifelike you. Mine didnt take it so welll...you are a wonderful soul

[Margot]

Becca; may your relationship flourish as mine has. My wife is accepting if not 100% supportive. There's the difference. However; we do shop together for feminine things and as I am retired she enjoys the fact that I do all the shopping for groceries as well as cooking and cleaning. She knows I enjoy these things and expects me to be en femme a lot of the time. She new I was a crossdresser from before we were married so we've never had that secret between us. I am now Margot her loving homemaker.
As others have suggested, play with your husband in a way that he knows he does not have to hide his enjoyment of crossdressing.
I hope this was not too long winded.
Huga and good luckl.
Margot

[Mary Morgan]

You are awesome, just don't let him think this is ALL about him, it is about the two of you. You give some and you get some, a partnership. He gets to be all he wants to be, you get to be the same, where there is conflict, there is compromise. After you get it all worked out, we'll find a teaching job for you.

[BarbaraTalbot]

I think I was not alone in holding my breath for the two of you. I thought it was kinda cute the way you ignored all words of caution and just went for it. I wish you both all the happiness the three of you can have.

[rustynail]

i went to VIctoria seceret and bought some lingerie. like i said , DH and i are about the same size and almost the same height. the thong is the seamless low rise thong.. and a lace trim baby doll maroon in color.. i love both on him... if he would let me, i woulda used all my space on my memorycard lol
Becca

Have you asked him what are his favourite items?

[highheelqueen]

as far as your trip make sure he only has extra fem clothes to wear once you all get out this way also you could get a bet going and winner gets to plan your trip actives also tell him you'll be out all day or get time off from work come home early and hopeful catch him all dolled up and have yourself a girls day out ya its trickery but it'll bring his heels out in the open and if he goes for you girl day out going to pdx in a dress should be old hat i just hope you get to do this it sounds like one of them trips us cds dream about good luck

[kristinacd1]

hey becka...how about an up-date....were courious to know how you and hubby did after the talk

[dakota_ann69]

You have certainly found a home here, your SO is in a unique place with you, and that is that you can support him in this. Just let him know that you love him for who he is. I think that in time you can have a wonderful marriage and he will be able to grow that much closer to you.