To Tell or Keeping Hiding

[Michelle I]

I have my 5 week appointment with my hair stylist on Monday, she doe not know about Melissa but still provides her with waxings, peds, manicures and cuts. I have been going to her for about 3 years and at times, I take pictures of the way I want my hair to look. She usually cuts it close to the picture but also stays far enough away that its does not look fem enough. My hair is finally to the chin length stage and I have found several really cute styles that I want my hair to do. This the same salon that my late wife went to, my wife very clear that I not to tell anyone at the salon about Melissa and I know she did not tell anyone before she passed away.

So, what do you think do I tell my stylist about Melissa and get the fem styles I am looking for, or do I keep my mouth shut ? I think I can trust her but you never can be sure.

[Katie Moore]

I would change my salon and respect your late wife's wishes. :2c:

:love:

Katie

[uknowhoo]

Well, if it isn't my dear friend Melissa! Sooo nice to see you sweetie! :hugs:

If she's been providing you such services for three years, and you continue growing your hair out, chances are she probably has some suspicions if she doesn't actually know. Telling her seems the only way to go forward with the femme cut you really want, now that your hair's growing out.

On the flipside, there is no un-telling her. So if you are going to take the plunge, you do so knowing her outing you is at least a possibility.

Good luck, and let us know.

xoxo

Tammi

[Dita_B]

Although only you have your "feelers" out to fully assess the situation, from what I detect in your message is that you are ready for the next step.

Or you change salons and start from scratch not knowing what to expect from any of the new faces there, or you confess to the lady that you have learned to trust in helping you taking the next step underway to femininity. From where I stand the choice is clear: tell her what you want her to do with your hair and why. What do you have to lose? Hair salons are notorious for gossip, but do you really care? So you cross dress...and so what?

You'll have to make the choice between developing the next stage of your feminine self or back out, out of fear for gossip.

I think you have already made your choice and you only need some encouragement...

Go ahead, do it...

:love:Dita.

[Stephenie S]

Dear Melissa,

Are you delusional? Do you think she is cognitively impaired? Or maybe you think she is just stupid. Of course she already knows. No one could be providing all those sevices to someone with out being well aware of what's going on.

I don't think you need to "tell" her, hon, she already knows.

Stephenie

[sweetsandy]

I'm with Stephanie here and that she probably already knowss more than you are giving her credit for. But if I were in your shoes, I'd go with the person I could trust the most, or at least find a stylist far enough away...

[Sandra]

If you are happy with the hairstylist then I would tell her, going therefor nearly three years I imagine she may have a slight idea of your cding.

[MsJanessa]

Why not tell her? After all, your wife has passed away and would no longer be embarrassed having some one know her spouse is a T-girl and it sounds like you really want to tell her----My hairdresser knows--she waxes my eyebrows and styles my wigs for me---and she has encouraged me to come in dressed(haven't done it yet but do intend to.) Beside, as someone above said, she probably already suspects anyway.

[Michelle I]

Thanks to all that have posted, and Dita yes I am looking for some encouragement.
I really want to tell her about my dressing but also do not want to scare her off from doing my hair. I keep dropping hints, leaving some nail posih on my nails, more arched eyebrow but she never responds. She is a great stylist, great person and great listener, she was there for my family when my wife passed away. The only trouble is she knows other people I know and if she tells "D" then the whole town will know. I know when its out, there is no taking it back.

Melissa

[Stephenie S]

Meissa, Melissa, Melissa. You just aren't listening, girl. She already knows! You keep leaving hints? Nailpolish and arched brows? Come ON dear, wake up.

She isn't talking about it because she is too polite, not because she is somehow intellectually impaired. Hair dressers are notorious gossips, but usually only among themselves. If this woman was going to "out" you she would have done so years ago. She hasn't because she is a friend. A friend of your wife's and a friend of yours. Just talk to her hon. You are wasting a friendship.

[joann07]

Melissa,

I'm with Dita and I encourage you.
You sound like you want to and it seems like its right so go by your gut feeling.
Here's another way I would put it into perspective.
Even if you told her, she wouldn't want to lose you as long time and loyal customer. I'm sure she would do anything not to lose you, in addition to possibly spreading bad word around the neighborhood, and it would be a good thing for her salon because you could bring her some new CD clients. A win-win situation which I can foresee. :thumbsup:
Just a thought.
Go for it girl. :happy:

Hugs!

[NovaScotia]

Reading between the lines, I get the impression you live in a small town. I will probably never be able to get even as far as you have with the salon care. My family would be hurt more by the gossip than me, and I can't do that to them.

If I am wrong, and you live in a community large enough for anonimity, do it!

[Jodi]

She already knows. Hair dressers are very astute. I came out to my stylist about 4 years ago. She later told me that she had figured it out.

I came out to my nail tech on my first manicure visit. She thanked me for being honest with her. She said that if I had not told her, she would have automatically trimmed my nails too short.

Jodi

[trannie T]

I am slowly coming out of the closet. It is not the easiest thing I've ever done but it has still been somewhat enjoyable. I encourage others to open up the closet door and quit hiding.

There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser.
There is nothing wrong with crossdressing.
We have nothing to be ashamed of.