Mixing With the Outside World

[Stephanie Brooks]

I'm on a couple other electronic forums that are non-TG. This morning one of the girls posted a message that a couple of her friends surprised her by bringing her to a couple of gay bars last night; there were two drag queens at the first. The thread was fine, no probs, and I even made a response.

(One forum specifically relates to cars. I use one of my girl manga avatars and mention nothing regarding my sex/gender. My posts would indicate I'm male, based on my knowledge and experience, but there's nothing that explicitly states I'm of a specific sex/gender.)

How do we mix with the outside world? I know some of us don't in our tg persona, but some of us do. I'm not really one of The Guys, not really one of The Girls either. Sex drives our conversations, whether we know/accept that or not. M-M conversations differ from M-F conversations, which also differ from F-F conversations. Are we truly a separate "gender" or class of genders, given the variety of TG folks?

Being married (still) I'm not looking for anyone, other than friends. I'm not into guys, though I want to be accepted by guys as a girl. (I believe I would be into guys if I was female clear to the genes.) While I'm into girls, I want to be accepted as a "sister".

This goes beyond an online forum. In the past I've been "out" and am currently moving back out in the public. This experience is manifested also in the real world. My reason for posting is that I'm simply curious as to how folks reconcile interaction with others.

[donnie123abc1]

Stephanie, mathemagician, human interaction defy s all logic there is always some variable that presents itself to cause total confusion. It is good that you did not try to deceive anyone about you gender. That is an important variable. Deception causes interaction to become conflict, and nobody wants that. Be yourself in all things and you will do fine. Ofcourse there will always be that "Idiot" variable out there that we all have to deal with. That "Idiot" variable changes only when they get to know you as a person. To be accepted we must first accept ourselves, with all our flaws I'm terrible at math, could have used your help back in highschool. Numbers just don't make sense to me.

Hope I was some help. Good luck, Stephanie, and don't give up!

Dawn Marrie (Thats Who I Be !)

[Richelle]

Stephanie,

I am not on boards or groups that are not CD related, so I only interact with others on the net as Richelle, an heterosexual CD.

Like you I am not into guys. So when I am out enfem, I interact with others as if I am a lesbian. Yes, it is great when a guy treats me as a women, like holding a door open for me. But my goal when out is to interact with everybody as if I was a GG.

Richelle

[donnie123abc1]

I know, Richelle. My new neighboor thought my wife and i were "Lesbians' when we first invited her over for coffee and chat. She said she had "Lesbian" friends before so it didn't bother her. Than I shocked the heck out of her by telling her who i really am.
"But your boobs look so real !!!" she said "And they're bigger than mine !" I just smiled as i sipped my coffee. " I just a person. Like every one else. You don't need to be afraid of me. I'm not a pervert." She had kids and that was reassuring to her.
Now she pops in all the time (Sometimes to much.) to bend our ears about her problems with trying to raise kids as a single parent. (Her husband is in Mexico but can't come to the US for some reason.)
Her kids are cool with me. Her daughter and mine are like big and little sister. they want to start a rock band. The boys and my son like playing the SONY play station and get along ok.

People except us if we give them the chance. Show them who we are as a person. The GG fantasy thing is ok but be careful.

Dawn Marrie (Thats Who I Be !)

[Stephanie Brooks]

Thanks everyone! Interesting responses.

Hi Dawn Marrie! No I don't like deception. It also sounds as if you're in a good situation. Very nice!

Hi Richelle! Interesting. I work to pass as female in public for personal safety. Inside I'm just me, however that's labeled.

Hi Amelie! Interesting on the forums. On this one forum I've been visiting I chose to sign up under my male "name", mathogre because that's what seemed to fit for me at the time. If I ever interact with any of them irl, it will be as a male, not female. There's another group where I'm known as male, but have attended functions as female in the past w/o a problem.

On the topic of sex related conversations, yes that makes sense. On suicide and death, all I'll say is I lament the passing of a.s.h as a viable newsgroup. Hmmm, just checked it out, having been away for the last year and a half. Maybe it's cleaned itself a bit.

Anyway, this time back from the purge I want to be true to myself. It's simply a matter of figuring out who and what I am at this part of the journey.

[donnie123abc1]

Amelie, I like that in a girl. Honesty. A must admit at first glance I thought you were scary! But now I see that you've got it going on. We all have our different tastes in garb but underneath we are all the same.

Dawn Marrie (Thats Who I Be !)

I hope you don't mind if I PM you. My daughter writes songs. Wants to start a rock band but most of her lyrics have that.......suicide and death theme to them. It has me concerned.