Do I Look Gay To You ?

[Joy Carter]

This is funny, but I was doing repairs to the lighting system, at a fast food place last week. I was in out and all around the place for several hours. So the staff was pretty exposed to me. I always make it a point to say hi to everyone. Kinda a personal touch of mine. Well I was working just around the corner from where two young males were. I heard the one say "Oh he's gay alright." I knew right away they were talking about me, because they kept giving me looks every time I walked by. One time one even said in my preasance out loud "deffinantly." It must be the double peirsed ears I have. Or was it my girly walk ? LoL :haha:

[Wendy me]

teasing the boy's again????..........

[Tina Dixon]

What can't be happy on the job ???

[Shelly Preston]

They only wanted a date but were too shy to ask +?

[Rachel Morley]

I'd like to see your girly walk .... do you have that womanly hip wiggle? :D

I'm sure people assume I'm gay too .... except no one has actually said it to my face. I have both my ears pierced too plus I wear some quite girly clothes in boy mode. I'm absolutely convinced that people think I'm gay because I do look effeminate and I do sometimes have a few camp mannerisms. My wife told me once that when her son was in his room playing video games with some of his buddies and I pulled up into the driveway, one of her sons friends said "someone's just pulled into your drive" and her son said "oh that's just my gay step dad"! :eek:

[trannie T]

If it wasn't the girlie walk it was either the nail polish or the bra straps.

[Katrina]

...and her son said "oh that's just my gay step dad"! :eek:

That is too funny!

[Cheryl T]

A close friend had company a few years ago and I was over with my friend. As we sat in the living room the guest asked me (we had never met before)... "are you gay?".
I quickly replied...
"Gay, I'm not even happy today!"..
Broke up the tension and was never asked again....lol.

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, I never would have guessed in a million years. I guess if you are happy and pleasant when you are a guy working and not miserable and cursing constantly, that makes you gay. Wow, you learn something every day. I guess they never think Sal is gay because she tends to have a potty mouth sometimes, whereas as Rich I sometimes do but have never been assessed as gay as Rich.I feel left out. What's this world coming to anyway?:strugglin:happy:

[rexy]

Joy you do not look gay to me . I just think they were jealous or something? No way anybody could BE THAT HAPPY doing a job that much ! REXY

[Roberta Lynn]

Probably just wishful thinking on their part. :D

[Teresa Amina]

Just Joyful :D

[Lori SC]

I don't know if you want to take this to the serious side at all Joy, but yes, all of us that go out trying to emulate women probably unconsiously display manerisms that some will notice and assume it's acting like a "flaming gay".

I know that I give off clues, mostly unconsiously - like the way I cross my legs, and a host of other little nuances. It comes with the territory.

One of my fears is that I will slip and say something at work and out myself. Small manerisms I can laugh off, Saying how I spent the weekend in a dress is not easy to explain unless I tell them I'm a CD.

It doesn't sound like you are upset about it at all - which is great.

I'd rather have them make fun of me becasue I'm "gay" than because I'm old!

Hugs, Lori

[Tamara Croft]

Maybe they were shouting it to get your attention for a date??? :heehee: Thing is... did it bother you? offend you? or did you just take no notice of the silly boys?

[valery]

I think that everything that doesn't fit perfect into the public picture of "normal" could be interpreted as gay.
Lots of people even don't know about us and least of all about our complex appearance and that's a reason why we're often assigned to gays

Anohter point is that we pay more attention to our body and our appearance 24/7 and that fits to us and to gays.

So I don't think that you look gay - I think public is still often not ready to see and to know about the differences and when they get disturbed (queer???queen???) they label it with limited knowledge by using the presets they have.

Interesting is that there are less feminine-gays like people usually think. The typical gay-role in a movie (the voice and the feminine walk) is mostly exaggerated and a much smaller part in the gay community than people think. The gay people in my circle of friends often use this role to make fun of intolerant people or just having fun on a party and putting themself into focus. This picture was the one with least fear for public, so it became the highest level and cult.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I agree with Valery's comment that the public percieves most anything that isn't normal as gay. Ex. I keep my nails unusualy long for a guy. Most of my male friends response is "that's gay". Jocelyn

[Alex!]

Golly, I would be annoyed if folks thought I was gay. I'm about as straight as a guy can get (sans the crossdressing, of course). It's not so much that I would be offended - I would have a similar reaction if people thought I was Canadian or a Republican. Such things deal with my identity, and it is important to me that others I care about know a few fundamental things about me, because these are key to building friendships and associations. People lie to themselves if they don't think so.

[AmberTG]

To be honest, I gave up worrying about people thinking I'm gay, it goes with the territory. But, as my ex-wife said during a discussion, there's a difference between feminine and effeminate. "Normal" men can't tell the difference, especially young men, but women can tell you the difference. I know a couple of gay men that are effeminate to some degree, it makes them a bit obvious in public. I also know a gay man that you'd never know is gay, he's a "manly" man.
I assume people think I'm gay because I wear girl's jeans that show my shape, such as it is, and I carry my fanny pack on my shoulder like a purse. I find myself working on my walk where ever I go, I always wear small hoop earrings, sometimes not quite so small. My hair is shoulder length and parted in the middle, what's left of the middle. I need to get used to being seen in public as myself, so I've been going just a bit out of my comfort zone when I go in public. People who know me will adjust to the changes easier if I don't throw it all at them at once.
Having said all that, I expect people to think I'm gay, I'm ok with that because it doesn't mean anything to me.

[Chelseaswpa]

This is funny, but I was doing repairs to the lighting system, at a fast food place last week. I was in out and all around the place for several hours. So the staff was pretty exposed to me. I always make it a point to say hi to everyone. Kinda a personal touch of mine. Well I was working just around the corner from where two young males were. I heard the one say "Oh he's gay alright." I knew right away they were talking about me, because they kept giving me looks every time I walked by. One time one even said in my preasance out loud "deffinantly." It must be the double peirsed ears I have. Or was it my girly walk ? LoL :haha:

Since I am gay I must make a comment;
I would have said well yes i am- but I wouldn't be caught dead with you two close minded idiots :heehee: :2c:

[Kate Simmons]

Maybe they were shouting it to get your attention for a date??? :heehee: Thing is... did it bother you? offend you? or did you just take no notice of the silly boys?That is what I was thinking when I read Joy's experience Tam. The whole thing just kind of made me chuckle. Even when people out and out ask me if I am gay, straight, bi or whatever, I just say:"Yes". After which they usually get a very puzzled look. I like to keep them guessing and have some fun with it. After all, what does any of that have to do with the price of coffee in Colombia? I let them think what they will and I just continue to enjoy being myself.:happy:

[chatnat GG]

it definately wouldnt ave been the ear holes as my bf has both ears pieced and is a mans man. i wouldnt ave guessed in a million years he was a cd but now that i know every now and again he works very lady like and even swings his hair back when he doesnt ave the wig on....complete giveaway so maybe u could of thrown an indication of some sought without even reliasing u done it.. But to call u gay they wanted your attention big time xo

[Joy Carter]

As usual a thread has been posted and gave root to valid discusion. This is the reason why I like to put threads up and respond as much as I can. You girls and guys are so special.

But to get back to the expierence. No I was not offended in the least. What someone else thinks matters little to me. I find allot of time that people maybe taking me that way not only because of the holes. But because I'm rather up beat and JOY-ful when talking to them. In this case the two were rather young and probably keyed in on my age , mid fifties and the peircings. It does add up to gay now doesen't it ? I mean what other reason would there be for a man my age to have double piersed ears ? ......... I'll never tell. LoL

[Jaquelyn]

and her son said "oh that's just my gay step dad"! :eek:[/QUOTE]

You know, kids these days use gay as so much slang, he may have been just being a jerk at the moment regarding a step dad he has to deal with. Food for thought.....may have nothing to do with what he feels your sexual orientation is?

[JoAnnDallas]

I know my nail salon tech knows I am not Gay, since she knows my wife and has worked on her too. But I bet more than one customer has thought I was Gay. LOL When I walk in wearing a Lady Hanes T-shirt, Lady Hanes shorts, fem sandels with painted toes, long acrylic nails with a lite Pink polish, I'm sure more than one customer has thought I was Gay. LOL

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Even though I am not gay I would have said yes I am but this week I am trying to quit! See what response you get then.

[Sharon]

I'm happy that you didn't freak when you were called gay, Joy. Or is that "joy, Gay?":p


Joy you do not look gay to me.

What do gay people look like? An enquiring mind wants to know.

[BarbaraTalbot]

What do gay people look like? An enquiring mind wants to know.

Around here, gay men work out, and make every effort to affect a masculine persona. Kinda makes me wonder why being slight and effeminate was labeled gay in my youth.

Did gay men "butch up" since the 1970's or do you think the stereotype is based on drag queens, which as we know are considered fun and camp but not models to emulate by gay men?

[susiej]

Girls,

As a lifelong transgender, I have never had any difficulty telling the difference between gays, straights and tg's. However, I think the ability to do so comes from being so close to the experience of crossdressing. And, of course, knowing that I'm not gay, despite being very good at fastening a bra behind my back :).

Typical hetero males might even know, intellectually, that ts/tv/tgs are most often not gay, but when they meet a fellow with earrings, long hair, or a telltale thong line through his jeans, the wrong light bulb goes off in their heads. Nobody usually is there to correct the error, either.

So, surprise surprise, we're more sensitive and well-trained in this issue than "normal" guys. Duh. This is another way that we are "gender-gifted".

Hugs,
Susie

[chucks]

i can't tell if someone is gay or straight by looking at them.

[Sarah Rabbit]

The the few occasions someone has made a comment, I just play up the part. They don't know how to take me, and either leave me alone or just carry on as normal. Those around know I am married which adds to the confusion.:devil:

Sarah R. :bunny:

[Xandra]

Your email made me smile because I have recently started to wonder whether people think I'm gay.

Consider: A female colleague at work with whom I had began to exchange greetings - and as the weeks passed, increasingly interesting small talk - surprised me recently as we waited for the elevator by telling me that she was thinking about “coming out” in the near future.

I am open minded and people DO tend to confide in me, so though a little surprised, I murmured something to the effect that I didn’t care what a person’s sexual orientation was and that I hope all goes well for her. She replied that that was why she told me.

A few weeks later we went out for lunch and, still curious as to why she confided in ME - a relative stranger - I asked why she had told me that and she replied that it was because she thought I was gay! Oh my!

Now, until that point no one had ever asked me that so, as one of the other posters pointed out, I suspect it is in part because of mannerisms from dressing carrying over on an innate but relatively unconscious level into life en drab.

Any other thoughts?

[SherriePall]

It's amazing how our perception of people are often based on stereotypes which are usually wrong in whole or part. So, Joy, was it the walk, the talk, or the lacy panties showing over the top of your jeans that made them believe they could tell your sexuality by just observing you?

[Joy Carter]

It's amazing how our perception of people are often based on stereotypes which are usually wrong in whole or part. So, Joy, was it the walk, the talk, or the lacy panties showing over the top of your jeans that made them believe they could tell your sexuality by just observing you?

No Hun I only ware lace on the weekends. Besides. How did you know ? You been lookin ! LoL:p

One thing about me and people. I really don't care who you are. It's how you treat others that matters. You find good and bad on all sides.

[Jodi]

I worked a career in a very macho, redneck area of PA. Anything that does not fit the macho stereotype in the minds of these guys has to be "gay". I was a high level manger in a very large facility (over 1,000 employees), so I was ripe fodder for any criticism from the rank and file. Because I always took care of my personal appearance, was polite, said please and thank you, and respected women, of course, the rumors abounded that I was gay.

One day a small group of smart asses, faced me and asked me sarcastically if I was gay. My response was--"I was perfectly straight when you walked in here. Unless I catch it from one of you, I'll be perfectly straight when I walk out of here". This was said with a big grin.

In situations like this, sarcasm rules.

Jodi

[Chelseaswpa]

One day a small group of smart asses, faced me and asked me sarcastically if I was gay. My response was--"I was perfectly straight when you walked in here. Unless I catch it from one of you, I'll be perfectly straight when I walk out of here". This was said with a big grin.

In situations like this, sarcasm rules.

Jodi[/QUOTE]

Totally awesome response Jodi:happy: I love you for it and so appropriate:hugs: I also notice you mentioned that a "small group" of them approached you, see that is so typical, they don't have the cojones to ask you face to face, but as a group- yeah we are big strong men!:heehee: It shows you that we are way stronger, because we have the nerve to live our lives the way we see fit. These are also the same "men" who may write us on our 360 pages or what ever and want to date us- "but only discretely of course" :tongueout Yeah the same kind I tell to take a hike too! :2c: :love:

[StephanieH]

Gay guys don't pose for photos next to a Dodge truck holding a quart of Pennzoil. Just an observation. Why not? Because that yellow oil bottle clashes with your blouse - uh uh girl, no snaps for dat one! :tongueout

Glad you've got a sense of humor about it! I'm convinced my dad thought I was gay half of my teenage life until I brought home a hottie, finally, when I was seventeen and my older brother yelled out loud something like, "look, he's finally got a girlfriend! And holy cow, look at her!" Hey, I was a car guy and a guitar guy, so I got off to a late start! Combine that with having always been a bit on the effeminate side and I can see where they were coming from.

Interestingly, my lesbian co-worker is still convinced that I'm gay, but she just can't figure out why! We have a lot of fun with that!

Take care and God bless! :D

[Chelseaswpa]

Great post Randi! Guess that kinda screws up the old adage of judging a book by it's cover eh? BTW My SO and sister were quite surprised by my acknowledgement of begin a gay dresser. Heck Ialways seemed "perfectly normal" LOL I dated lots of girls when I was younger, always trying to figure out why it "just didn't work" for me. So once again different strokes for different folks.

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Randi;969953][FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="3"]Gay guys don't pose for photos next to a Dodge truck holding a quart of Pennzoil. Just an observation. Why not? Because that yellow oil bottle clashes with your blouse - uh uh girl, no snaps for dat one! :tongueout

Thanks Randi ! Your the first one to comment on my avatar. :D

[Tamera]

I assume since you were fixing lights that you were standing up or on a ladder, and did not have the PLUMBERS PANTS thing goin':2c:
Hugs,
Tamera

[Joy Carter]

I assume since you were fixing lights that you were standing up or on a ladder, and did not have the PLUMBERS PANTS thing goin':2c:
Hugs,
Tamera

You mean the "moon rise" over the waist band ? :heehee:

[Chelseaswpa]

You mean the "moon rise" over the waist band ? :heehee:

You know this post has gotten quite interesting, good ole' Tamera came through with her levity, I never really thought about the whole plumber's crack thing, better keep my low rises on from now on:rolleyes: Wouldn't want my girly panties showin' would I?:D :love:

[Jamie001]

When someone asks me if I am gay, I tell them:

I am gay just like all men that wear earrings or all women that cut their hair short or wear neckties.


It really makes them think and they are usually confused. :2c:

[Dena]

It's also possible they were just shooting off their mouths
and your appearance and manner didn't enter into it.