When Will It Stop

[donna anne]

Up Until A Coupe Of Years Ago No One Knew Me Secret
But Me. I Finally Got Tired Of The Hiding And Sneaking Around And Told My Wife. I Figured I Owed It To Her To Tell Her And From What I've Read A Good Marriage Will Survive This Sort Of News. It Was A Rocky Time For A While But It Did Survive And Things Are Good. My Only Problem Is That I Keep Trying To Escalate Things And I Don't Know When To Stop. My Wife Gives Me "my" Time And Calls Before She Comes Home Which Is Great But I Don't Know How Far I Should Push Things. Now That She Knows I Have Started Buying Things On Line Rather Than In Person, Having Them Shipped To The House, Of Course Telling Her Things Are Coming. It Almost Seams That I'm Trying To See How Far I Can Go, Trying To Push The Envelope. I've Got Two Kids , A Job And A Lifestyle That Will Never Let Me Fully Transition But That Is All I Think About At Times. Again ,i Keep Trying To Push The Envelope. Every Time I Get One Thing Accepted I'm Trying Something New. I'm Sure She's Aware Of What's Going On But I Don't Know How Far I Should Push, Any Help Would Be Appreiated

[noname]

You could be a girly man. If you do a lot of searching you find guys clothes that can be considered girly by some. For example, buy the hot pink dress shirt, or buy some mens capris, or the skater skinny leg stretch jeans. Then she couldn't say your cd'ing.

[Tamera]

I guess in your case you will lead this DOUBLE LIFE until you open envelopes that are not accepted by your wife.

You know the consequences. Only you can make that decision of where you want your life to lead.

This life style is not easy. We are raised one way yet want to live another.

Stay in touch.
Tamera

[Chelseaswpa]

I guess in your case you will lead this DOUBLE LIFE until you open envelopes that are not accepted by your wife.

You know the consequences. Only you can make that decision of where you want your life to lead.

This life style is not easy. We are raised one way yet want to live another.

Stay in touch.
Tamera

Well said Tamera, I know everything is fine with my SO now- but it is the rest of the population we need to educate. Just be understanding of your wife's needs as well. Remember she married your other side hon, and this is not easy for her either.:hugs:

[angelfire]

I would advise against trying to push her, and let her accept it at her own pace. Pushing harder will just make her upset and spiteful, and you will push her away. She is willing to give you some time to yourself to dress, so at least she isn't totally against it. Move in baby steps.

[Kahlan51]

I understand the urge to have it all. Once you open pandora's box it is hard to not let the lid fly open. Remember it is not all about you. Having a supportive wife is such a blessing don't screw it up. I have a supportive wife and we communicate constantly so we both get our needs met. Small steps pay off. I know how hard it is to curb your urges once you get a little freedom.
Take care : Kahlan

[Ema1234 GG]

It sounds to me like you aren't all that bothered about what you can and can't do, more the thrill of seeing how far you can push it.

You're wife has been fantastic and she sounds extremely supportive and accepting. By giving you time and space to dress what more can you really ask for?

Do you have a clear goal in mind that you are trying to achieve? Or do you just keep pushing her for the hell of it?

If you do have a clear goal of something that you would like to be able to do but currently can't then work towards that, and once you've achieved it stop. Because otherwise you are abusing the trust and support of a fantastic woman.

You say you have a life that will not allow you to transition fully, but it is all you can think about. Perhaps you need to sit down and question what really is important to you. Is your current life or is transitioning more important? Many CDers are selfish, particularly in the beginning, what you need is to work out what you really want from life, and if that includes your wife and family I'd suggest that you need to think about compromising a little bit more and having a bit more balance in your life.

[Dita_B]

...But That Is All I Think About At Times. Again ,i Keep Trying To Push The Envelope. Every Time I Get One Thing Accepted I'm Trying Something New. I'm Sure She's Aware Of What's Going On But I Don't Know How Far I Should Push,...

Pushing the envelope eh? What Astrology sign are you... an Aries? That would explain you pushing for the limit and beyond.

If you are indeed an Aries, its in your core and heart and you will keep pushing no matter what. Aries' are known to act first and think later, when the damage has been done.

If you are not an Aries...than take the excellent advise above, I have nothing to add to that...

:love:Dita.

[Wendy me]

that's what people do they push ..... always pushing for more it's what we do .....

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

I understand the urge to have it all. Once you open pandora's box it is hard to not let the lid fly open. Remember it is not all about you. Having a supportive wife is such a blessing don't screw it up. I have a supportive wife and we communicate constantly so we both get our needs met. Small steps pay off. I know how hard it is to curb your urges once you get a little freedom.
Take care : Kahlan

I couldn't agree more!

Cindi