My Husband Wears My Clothes

[switcheralso]

I am looking for some feedback on this book. I just bought it yesterday to share with my wife. My Husband Wears My Clothes: Cross-dressing from the Perspective of a Wife: Books: Peggy Ed.D Rudd. I plan on an open conversation with my wife once it comes to the house. I am going to use the book so I can go a little more public with my C/D.

My story:

I have enjoyed girl clothing since I was young. I never lost my desires to dress as I grew up. While dating I would explore with my girlfriends my interest in dressing. I remember the first girlfriend I shared this with was able to give me her beautiful blue lingerie outfit to wear. We took pictures and had a wonderful day. I continued through live with my passion for women clothing. Once I got married I struggled with telling my wife about my desires. I finally wrote her a letter in the past four months describing my desires to dress. She read the letter and told me that she did not know if she should "cry or laugh". I was a little nervous that day. It turned out she was OK with my desires but asked that I not dress in public. Her main concern is me ending up in an E.R. with some panties on this could be a little embarrassing.

[erickka]

Might be interesting discussion here. Please keep us posted on how things go.

[Shelly Preston]

If I was you I would not plan too far ahead

Take things one step at a time

Give her achance to digest the information in the book many a relationship has been ruined by going to fast

Good luck with the discussion

[JenniferR771]

Great book. A must have. Informative.

[Karren H]

Hope you bought the paperback version... The hard cover book could do too much damage when she hits you in the head with it!! Lol

Shelly's right...

Karren

[Sheri 4242]

If I was you I would not plan too far ahead. Take things one step at a time. Give her a chance to digest the information in the book (because) many a relationship has been ruined by going to fast.

First, I agree with Shelly wholeheartedly; you have got to take baby-steps here. Many times what you may see as compelling, clear and unambigious, may be something that your SO needs to digest and think about -- and sometimes one point or answer will just raises more questions with another. So, don't plan too far ahead -- be prepared for more questions than answers just in case things don't go as you are plannig them out in your mind! Frequently what we envision is just so-much wishful thinking, and you want this discussion to go right! Don't ruin it by playing it out as happening one way in your mind just to learn that things go another way!

Second, just FYI, Peggy Rudd's hubby (Melanie R) posts on this forum from time-to-time -- I think I saw her post yesterday. Melanie may be able to contribute to this discussion for your benefit. Her wife's book (well, the one that you mentioned b/c Peggy Rudd has written several books), is considered a must-read primer on crossdressing and has helped a number of people. That said, sometimes, what "reaches" one person will not reach another. Maybe this just is another way of saying what has already been said: let your SO set the pace!!!

Good luck -- keep us posted!!!

:thumbsup:


PS: just had to edit this to add, Pay no attention to Karren Huttons new 'hairdo' -- that crazy girl seems to have wound her rollers too tight!!! :lol2:

[StephanieH]

For what it's worth (pun intended) I think it's better than "My Husband Betty" which is a book many here are familiar with. The hubby wearing clothes book is less heavy than "Betty" and I think "Betty" actually scared my wife more than it was worth. I think she was waiting for me to completely transform into a woman 24/7 by the end of that book and was waiting for me to go to drag queen clubs and hang out with gangs of transgendered "good-old-boys-who-want-to-be-girls." The book you're getting is a lot better, I think, for a spouse to read.

Having said that, I've not found a single book yet that I'm really blown away with on this subject. Anybody got some other suggested reading? :D

[Sheri 4242]

For what it's worth . . . I think it's better than "My Husband Betty" which is a book many here are familiar with. The hubby wearing clothes book is less heavy than "Betty" and I think "Betty" actually scared my wife more than it was worth. I think she was waiting for me to completely transform into a woman 24/7 by the end of that book . . .

As valuable as My Husband Betty is, I can attest to the fact that it is just as you say in that it has scared some GG readers into a direction not intended. That, in part, is why I suggested that, even with My Husband Wears My Clothes, she needs to go slow b/c some don't take things as we presume they will!!!

[Jocelyn Quivers]

For what it's worth (pun intended) I think it's better than "My Husband Betty" which is a book many here are familiar with. The hubby wearing clothes book is less heavy than "Betty" and I think "Betty" actually scared my wife more than it was worth. I think she was waiting for me to completely transform into a woman 24/7 by the end of that book and was waiting for me to go to drag queen clubs and hang out with gangs of transgendered "good-old-boys-who-want-to-be-girls." The book you're getting is a lot better, I think, for a spouse to read.

Having said that, I've not found a single book yet that I'm really blown away with on this subject. Anybody got some other suggested reading? :D

I agree, after I read "My husband Betty" I thought I might be transitioning as well.

[kristine239]

that Marlena Rudd, (Peggy's husband) has not responded. She is an active member of this forum.

there are so many resources like the internet, books and conferences that you can go to and a lot of other things. All you need to do is look around.

[Laney GG]

Several months ago, I ordered these books from Amazon to help myself (and my SO) try to get some kind of understanding. One being My Husband Betty and the other being My Husband Wears my Clothes. I guess My Husband Betty was OK, but I guess it scared me in the sense that I'm not nearly as accepting as Helen is--working on it to some level(baby steps!) It is going to take some time for me to find a way to accept this! I just tried keeping an open mind to the fact that this is HER story and she is trying to get the fact that CD'ing exists out to the world. She includes real life scenarios that I found interesting. I found My Husband Wears my Clothes pretty informative--especially for the "newbies" out there. It definitely puts a lot of perspective on it. Many people have the wrong ideas about what CD'ing is all about and she was able to clear up a lot of misconceptions. It's hard to find good, informational books out there on this topic. This forum has been helping tremendously!! She should consider joining--the GG forum can be helpful for her also--the ladies are open minded, caring and are there to help!

[Sheri 4242]

. . . Marlena Rudd, (Peggy's husband) . . .

I thought her name was Melanie (Mel)??? If I'm wrong, please excuse the mistake in my earlier post.

[Melanie R]

Yes, Melanie who wears her clothes, has now seen this thread. Usually when I can I log on to the board several times weekly. Peggy wrote the first book, My Husband, to find answers herself. When she first found out about Melanie in 1980 there were very few resources available for a wife or the CD. Husband is a good primer for the wife/girlfriend/partner who has just found out about their partner's crossdressing. The other three books move forward to explore the topic in more detail. Let your wife digest the contents of the book and go slow. Later ask her if she has any questions after reading the book. Peggy is available at any time to answer any of your wife's questions - or at least attempt to. You can private message her through.

[NZ_Dawn]

When my wife first discovered my other side, we both enetered a period of having many questions that sought answers. (Most from my wifes side). We are reading two of the books by Peggy. (Hi Melanie! :happy:) I am reading the first book while my wife has the second. I only wish my wife read the first book instead as she seemed to end up in a greater turmoil and confused about where I was. As many have said; Take it slowly and talk about it. Make no assumptions! We have talked at great length about this and I have tried to reassure her that I have no ultimate pre-detrmined path or current desire to transition. I am happy cross-dressing and allowing the feminine component to be expressed. In my opinion, having read the book and information I have found from many avenues, I suggest that there are individuals that do not fit into any 'one single slot' or 'category'. I also believe, that there is no emprical need to 'categorise' a person. There is a continuum in which we are all part of.
I have found these books helpful, read them all but consider how you and your partner compare as individuals rather than trying to make a match.

I can say that our relationship has improved and our communication has been the best its been for many years, and we are in the eraly stage of discovery.
All the best.
I agree with Melanie
"Let your wife digest the contents of the book and go slow. "

[Annesah]

What's so embarrassing about showing up in the ER with panties on. More than half of the population does this every day!

[Angie G]

At lest she's ok with it but keep it slow hun :hugs:
Angie

[ManInBra]

I was dating a gal about 20 yrs ago in San Diego, I told her about my being a Crossdresser, she was very accepting but used to give me a bad time about if something was to happen and I end up in the ER while wearing panties, bra, or whatever else, I just told her that when I come to in the hospital the first thing I will say to her is that she owes me $100 for the bet that we made and that I had won by going out in public and wearing the items I had on, nowadays I dont think anyone there would believe me, but nowadays Im not to really concerned about what other people think about my choice of panties, bra or whatever lingerie I happen to be wearing.

"Why does society still have a hard time accepting the MTF CD, how many women crossdress everyday, they wear their BF's jeans, t-shirts, boxers, and probably just about anything else that will fit them" :2c: