Q for GGs: Does your CDer seem female?

[AmandaM]

I was wondering what GGs thought about their CDing partners. Do you feel as though they are female when they dress? Or do you feel as though it's playing a female but not quite being one? This question assumes of course that your CDer is trying to be female when dressed. What do you GGs think?

[Sheila]

nope mine is a guy in a dress/skirt or whatever he choose to wear.

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Nope, he's not a 'girl', just him. :)

[Dee Talbot]

Just once. Barb wore something very feminine (despite being slacks), and from the back, I saw a woman.

Otherwise, I see my husband as that. My husband.


Dee

[hunny67]

NOPE! But when dressed i can talk more openly & sex is fantastic. Oooops sorry im typing what im thinking. Any way back to where i was..... Can have a good girly natter.

Hunny67 GG

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

NOPE! But when dressed i can talk more openly & sex is fantastic. Oooops sorry im typing what im thinking. Any way back to where i was..... Can have a good girly natter.

Hunny67 GG

LOL :D

HC opens up more when he's dressed up too. And yes, I concur with the sex thing. ;)

[Ema1234 GG]

Nope, he is a guy in women's clothes and I think that is half my problem in not being able to accept him fully. I met and fell in love with my fantastic, macho very male partner and I can still see him behind the clothes and make up.

[GACountrygal]

nope mine is a guy in a dress/skirt or whatever he choose to wear.

same for me

Nic

[kittypw GG]

I don't see him as a female ever. He isn't a female and is 6'1" tall. He is not very feminine and frankly I don't think that he could ever come close to being a female. Besides what is wrong with "chicked" up boys? I don't get why passing as a girl is so important. Seems like it would only lead to dissapointment being that you can't do anything about big hands or guy gestures (they always show through even in the most convincing) or guy voice. :hugs: Kitty

[AmandaM]

Wow! Everyone says not female. OK, how about this? If you've ever met CDers as strangers, do they seem to be female? Or are they still just men? I'm seriously wondering if TS's are different in this regard than CDers.

[Country girl]

I'll answer that. I went to DLV in Vegas this past April and had a blast. I meet some of the most amazing people while I was there. I also meet some guys that were pretty awesome looking as women. But I have to say even if I hadn't of known I was at a diva's convention, I didn't meet a single one who I seriously had to ask myself, "Hmmm, was that a woman, or a guy in girls clothing?" There were a LOT of GG's around so I could have been easily fooled had someone been "good" enough, but there is just something about a man, even one small in stature that says "man" to me. So IMHO no, I don't think a CDer ever seems to be female. :hugs:CG GG

[GACountrygal]

Wow! Everyone says not female. OK, how about this? If you've ever met CDers as strangers, do they seem to be female? Or are they still just men? I'm seriously wondering if TS's are different in this regard than CDers.

the only one I "met", actually seen at another table in a truckers diner while I was having supper with family, was definetaly a MAN. Although for all I know it WAS a TS rather then a crossdresser...its tough to classify since theres such a wide variety from point A to point B

[chatnat GG]

When my bf dressers his whole personality changes. i must admit he walks better in heals than me but dressers like mutton done up as lamb. As to other comments i cant even kiss my man when his dressed. He makes a huge effort to look good and he believes he looks amazing but at the end of the day its his fantasy and he can stay dressed as female in his fantasy world....

[Dee Talbot]

In my case, this hasn't anything to do with my SO's ability to pass, or look feminine. I have spent a lot of time and had a lot of fun helping Barbara with posture and makeup. I do feel she looks very feminine while dressed.

However, this is the man I have been married to for 15 years. And whom I dated for 2 years prior to this. It is a difficult process for me to view the person I know as my spouse, suddenly being an entirely different person. If she had presented to me as Barbara from day one, and then suddenly last month decided to be Barry, I would have a difficult time picturing my girlfriend as a man.

Dee

[Country girl]

Amandachick, I should add that some of the girls were TS's and some were in differing stages of surgery. They still said "man" to me. :hugs:CG GG

[AmandaM]

Interesting info here! I thought that passing was defined as being seen as a woman in public. I suppose that women are quite astute and we should define passing as "not be noticed enough to be figured out". What do you think?

[Tamara Croft]

I'm going to say this only once.... have some respect, read the title and don't post in this thread unless you are a GG.... goddit? good!!! I don't want to have to delete more posts from ignorant members!!!

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Wow! Everyone says not female. OK, how about this? If you've ever met CDers as strangers, do they seem to be female? Or are they still just men? I'm seriously wondering if TS's are different in this regard than CDers.

Hmmm, that's really interesting!

If I meet someone who lives as a woman and prefers to be thought of as a woman, I consider a man, but have the respect to address them and treat them as a woman, while at the same time being fully aware it is a man. I've never really thought about that before and I'm not sure I like the answer!

If I know someone who cross dresses, they're always a man, just wearing 'girie' stuff at some times.

It also depends on the extent of the CDing. For instance someone like Eddie Izzard (http://www.bravecaptain.co.uk/images/inf/eddie_izzard.jpg) I find very attractive, because with all the makeup and sequins, he's still obviously a man. He might be more femininely dressed than most, but for me it makes the masculinity more evident (it's gotta be all man to shine through eh?).

Definitely one to ponder on... :straightface:

[Ema1234 GG]

Well I've had practically no experience of other CDers but I think the reason I feel like this is because he is my boyfriend, not my girlfriend.

I met him as a man, I started dating him as a man, I fell in love with him as a man and still to this day he spends the vast majority of his time as a man.

[kittypw GG]

Wow! Everyone says not female. OK, how about this? If you've ever met CDers as strangers, do they seem to be female? Or are they still just men? I'm seriously wondering if TS's are different in this regard than CDers.

I have met a few TS's and it is a rare one that really looks female. I think that small statured males would be the easiest to pass as genetic females but being female is more than just how you look. It can't be explained nor emulated totally. Just like I could never pick up and emulate a man totally. The gender training starts from birth you can't get that from surgery or hormones. I think that the genetic gender always shows through at least a little. This is reality and should not make you feel bad. We are what we are and if we accept that and work from there, a person has a better chance at a healthy balanced life. It makes me feel sad when someone totally hates who they are. I can understand that some people feel like they are the wrong gender but if you hate yourself how do you move forward? You can change your outward apparence but it's not as easy to fix a broken resentful mind.

I'm all about living in reality. Who cares if you pull being a female off? Most people notice but really don't care unless you are bothering them or doing something weird. :hugs: Kitty

[Tree GG]

OK, here is a point that continually boggles my mind. The transgendered person wants to express their originality and be freed of any social obligation to their birth gender presentation by conforming to a different social stereotype (in our case male to female).

The fact remains that you were born with the genetic code you were born with. You will be what you're gonna be (within a certain range) by the time you are born. The CDs belief that they can pass....completely make others believe that the male version never existed, there is only their femme version....is just not realistic in most cases.

A small % of men can pull it off. I've met TGs that I couldn't say for sure whether they were MTF or FTM or what. Their presentation was indistinguishable from "the real thing". How they do it, I don't know. I really do think it has alot to do with hormonal, surgical and attitude of the individual and the part-time CD just don't have it.

Many transexuals will never pass, even if they get surgery. Someone will always be able to tell that they are a female looking male or male looking female. A very respected TS here has told me that even though "he" is living full time she, and approaching surgery, she still gets read. She will legally & physically be a woman soon but her physical appearance says "male" to many. That's just the way it is.

My husband says I should "humor him" when asked if I think he looks like a woman dressed. :eek:

[Sandra]

If you had asked this a couple of years ago I would have said "a man in womans clothes", now after cding 24/7 (and is not transitioning )for two years plus she is more female than male.

[mylitta]

6' 3'' and built like Desperate Dan- I love him dearly, but he will always be a man in a dress.

[Di]

Female....a definite yes.........We met as Sher and Di dated a yr mostly as Sher and Di and after moving here almost a yr ago in the beginning was more Sher than guy mode. So those of you that met and mostly was with your guy...you prob still see your guy that you fell in love with.

Also Sher has a quality and I tell her she is blessed in that she is either 100 percent guy or 100 percent girl .....everything changes and ...it is a natural thing that happens she gets a glow from within that just shines through.........she leans towards me when talking as intimate woman do, her walking, talking, hand, hip movements,..the way she flits her hair...I could go on and on.................. Then the facial features forehead,brow,nose ( narrow and straight) cheeks,top lip lenth, lip shape, chin,jaw and a adams apple NOT visible.....all the female markers are there. ....So yes I see and we interact as two girls.

[Tamara Croft]

I have met a few TS's and it is a rare one that really looks female.To be honest, doesn't matter if a TS passes or not, a TS 'is' a woman, inside no? To them, they were robbed of their female body.

When Tammy is dressed, I treat her as such, as a woman, whether she passes or not to me is irrelevant. But then again, I treat her/him the same, although 'she' is rather vain and often needs slapping out the way of the mirror :heehee:

[BrendaB GG]

My partner is now fulltime and on hormones, she is TS. I see her as female. Apparently, so does the rest of the world. My 9 yr old son thinks its incredibly funny because when they are out together, people keeping referring to Terri as his 'Mom'.
Brenda

[renee99]

The gender training starts from birth

That's one POV.


I think that the genetic gender always shows through at least a little. This is reality and should not make you feel bad. We are what we are and if we accept that and work from there, a person has a better chance at a healthy balanced life.

But a second totally different POV.

If gender has been trained into us, why should we accept that trained gender as our nature?

Being who we feel we are is what is important. Regardless of our 'training' or our 'genetic gender'.

The ones who I would caution are those who find comfort in a stereotype.

They need to read 'The Beauty Myth' and think about the reasons why that stereotype is comforting.

[Kerry Owens]

Lo still is a guy to me, just he wears ladies clothes, and it isn't a biggie. He's still one in a million!

[Ema1234 GG]

That's one POV.



But a second totally different POV.

If gender has been trained into us, why should we accept that trained gender as our nature?

Being who we feel we are is what is important. Regardless of our 'training' or our 'genetic gender'.

The ones who I would caution are those who find comfort in a stereotype.

They need to read 'The Beauty Myth' and think about the reasons why that stereotype is comforting.

And there was me thinking this thread for GG's only to post in... :rolleyes:

[Dee Talbot]

The ones who I would caution are those who find comfort in a stereotype.I don't think our, GG's, feelings really have all that much to do with stereotyping. For those of us who dated and then married a man, it's extrememly difficult to see our spouses as women. This has nothing to do with their appearance, and more to do with the fact that the person we have known, fallen in love with, born children with, lived with, married, grown older with, etc WAS A MAN!!!!!! We can accept the feminine in our spouses, but changing the person we see is much more difficult.

And I don't like to be crude, but this needs to be pointed out. While our dress wearing spouses may wear clothing that is marketed to GG's, wear makeup, and carry themselves as women, and while we may accept and love this in our spouse wholeheartedly......When that skirt comes off, there is still male genitalia. Kinda ruins the effect. I happen to enjoy my SO's femininity, but there is no escaping the fact that she has not had SRS and has no interest in going through the process. She still likes being a he too. Ergo...she is still a he to me.

Dee

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

I totally agree Barb's GG.

HC is just who he is - feminine side, masculine side, moany side... ;) I was attracted to him because he's a bloke who can be sensitive - a woman with his personality would be a friend, there'd be no attraction.

Now, I don't care whether he's in boxer shorts, frilly knickers or stark naked, he's still HC and ALL the parts of him that encompass who he is are still there.

Wearing my nighty (glares sideways) does not make him a woman, it makes him my bloke in my nighty - the same bloke who wears trousers and a shirt out of the house.

[Tamara Croft]

And there was me thinking this thread for GG's only to post in... :rolleyes:Some people are just ignorant to thread titles.... :rolleyes:

[cadon]

He is who I am involved with, and I will hopefully accept his feminine persona. To me, it will just be an extension of who he is. He's already indicated that he doesn't want to be "her" out of the house.
Would be a bit difficult to disguise that goatee...lol.