Busted

[JOEY88]

my sister caught me she found pics i left on my computer of me with my make up and dress on, when she asked me about it i tried telling her that its something i like to do that it helps me express my self she didn't want to understand though she just kept telling me how crossdressing comes from the devil ,she told me she wouldn't tell any one so i guess it could have went alot worse I'm not mad at her i know shes just trying to help I'm just kinda hurt

[Jolene]

Most people would not understand crossdressing. Maybe in time your sister will be more open to it as she gets used to the idea of you doing it. At least it sounds like she will keep this to herself. My family does not know about me and I know they would not understand. Hang in there, this is a good place for support.

Jolene

[ErikaLadyoftheDesert]

You are not the only one who got "busted" tonight.
I met my wife when she came home tonight total in femme.
I have told her before about my passion for crossdressing, but
I believe she thought it would just go away.

I was dressed to kill, I looked the best I ever have. It scared the
you know what out of her. It did not go well, at all.

She made me feel like a freak, and small, but deep inside
I know this is who I am ,and I can not deny that.

So I came to the forum for support. Your message made me feel better,
I know I am not the only one struggling with family and acceptance.

Erika

:hugs:

[Robin Leigh]

Crossdressing is a mostly harmless activity. I'm sure your sister means well. But telling someone that it comes from the devil is cruel & immoral, in my book. :( Moral behaviour means being good to each other, not mere following a set of rules.

Don't let those sort of negative attitudes get to you, Joey. Too many of us have suffered from that sort of treatment for too long.

:hugs:

Robin

[JOEY88]

She made me feel like a freak, and small, but deep inside
I know this is who I am ,and I can not deny that.



that sounds exactly how i felt you made me feel better to ,i swear i love you girls thanks so much

[Kerrie Sifton]

oh I hate that feeling, I have been semi busted, but at the moment all is ok, as we are working through just what it is that is the attraction for me and the resistance for her
All the best in your next steps.

[TxKimberly]

You are not the only one who got "busted" tonight.
I met my wife when she came home tonight total in femme.
I have told her before about my passion for crossdressing, but
I believe she thought it would just go away.

I was dressed to kill, I looked the best I ever have. It scared the
you know what out of her. It did not go well, at all.

She made me feel like a freak, and small, but deep inside
I know this is who I am ,and I can not deny that.

So I came to the forum for support. Your message made me feel better,
I know I am not the only one struggling with family and acceptance.

Erika

:hugs:

Erika,

i don't mean to be harsh, but did you really think that was going to go well? Shocking your wife, or anyone else, is not the ideal way to let them know about you.

Just a thought . . .

[Tanya83]

This is the first time I have ever heard someone say crossdressing comes from the devil!
There is nothing evil or mean about it at all. In fact (For me at least) it puts me more in touch with my softer, kinder, feminine side.

[michelle_2771]

Joey

I do hope your sister can go home and let it all sink and be able to come and talk more about with you and become more understanding as to the way you feel.

I hope all works out well with you and your sister

Michelle

[Sheri 4242]

my sister caught me she found pics i left on my computer of me with my make up and dress on, when she asked me about it i tried telling her that its something i like to do that it helps me express my self she didn't want to understand though she just kept telling me how crossdressing comes from the devil ,she told me she wouldn't tell any one

Well, it is good that she will keep it confidential. That said, perhaps you can engage her in "soft" education. By that I mean don't push it down her throat -- in fact, you may not be the one to actually discuss this with her, not, at least, until she has gotten to a certain point. Perhaps you could tell her you'd like her to undrstand this from your point of view b/c you value her opinion but feel she doesn't really comprehend b/c of what she said and how she reacted. Maybe she could come to this forum and learn -- ask questions, read current threads, and research older threads. Perhaps you could get her to read My Husband Wears My Clothes (you buy it for her). In doing these things (with you waiting patiently and quietly in the wings), she may experience some revelations and slowly start to see things from your point of view. At the very least she should gain insight that will be eye-opening.



You are not the only one who got "busted" tonight. I met my wife when she came home tonight total in femme. I have told her before about my passion for crossdressing, but I believe she thought it would just go away. I was dressed to kill, I looked the best I ever have. It scared the you know what out of her. It did not go well, at all.

She made me feel like a freak, and small, but deep inside I know this is who I am ,and I can not deny that.



i don't mean to be harsh, but did you really think that was going to go well? Shocking your wife, or anyone else, is not the ideal way to let them know about you.

Erika, I've got to go with Kim on this!!! I don't want to sound harsh either, but I have got to ask you what were you thinking?!! Was it for shock value??? Or, was it narcissim-in-action?!!!!!! (IOW: she'd see you dressed to the nines and immediately think, "Wow! How beautiful! I can certainly live with this! What fun it's gonna be!!!")

The best advice I've read in book after book -- and which is stated on here time-and-time again: baby steps and boundaries!!! (And, also the warning to BEWARE the pink fog!!!)

I am glad that you know who and what you are!!! It takes a long time for us to get to a point of healthy self-acceptance -- and if you'll pay attention to what many write on this forum, many will NEVER even get that far. You have a MAJOR damage control task in front of you-- if such is even possible. IMO, your approach was insensitive -- you have got to take things slowly -- at a pace that she is comfortable with, not at the one that you want!!! At least, that is the approach you must use if you expect to keep her by your side. Even those of us blessed with very accepting SO's had to take things in a slow progressive manner to get from "a" to "b." I hope you can fix this -- but it sounds to me like a hunter shooting a rifle at sounds coming from bushes: you can't "call that shot back" once fired!!!

[Melora]

And I thought that the devil only wants to make us bad things...
I have often noticed that many Christians always blame the devil for the things that they do not or will not understand.
Good luck to you with your Siss..

[Rachaelb64]

There is a line in the film Kingdom of Heaven, They are about to burm the bodies of the dead , the priest is ranting thats its a sin, and Orlando Bloom relys;

(The line goes something like this), ' God will understand why we do this, if He does not, then He is no God of mine'.

Narrow-minded and short-sighted people blame the devil.

But there are those who will accept you with open arms

:2c:

[Marcie Sexton]

I really don't know what to say, I know when I came out to my neice, that was the first question I was ask, "wasn't I afraid of going to hell"

After some discussion and giving her some time to think about how many other things that could send you to hell and that there was no one being hurt she became really cool with it...

Now our standing joke is it isn't fair fo me to have the legs I do...Plus she also send me tips on makeup and occasional samples too...

I can only wish you the best and perhaps if you could get to sit a while you could educate her on a few things......Good Luck

[Sadie J]

Girlfriend, I know the feeling. I was caught by my sister when I was younger. She didn't tell anyone about it, and acted like it would go away. Forty years later, (still dressing), she accepted it, and help me in ways only a sister could. She has since past on, but I will always cherish the last years we were together.....

[JoAnnDallas]

telling someone that it comes from the devil is cruel & immoral, in my book.

Like most people it just means she is Ignorant and uneducated on Transgender issues. The article about the transgendered teenage girl that sued the school district here in Dallas was on the evening news. I made a comment "Good for her". My sister looked at me and said something along the lines why was I taking up for the teenage and that what she was doing was against god and immoral. I looked at my sister and asked "how it could be against god when god made her that way in the first place". This made my sister just stare at me and she did not say anything more about.

[Shelly Preston]

my sister caught me she found pics i left on my computer of me with my make up and dress on, when she asked me about it i tried telling her that its something i like to do that it helps me express my self she didn't want to understand though she just kept telling me how crossdressing comes from the devil ,she told me she wouldn't tell any one so i guess it could have went alot worse I'm not mad at her i know shes just trying to help I'm just kinda hurt

Hi Joey

I hope you sister will at least havesome questions for and that you will be able to explain a bit more
I hope she will at least listen to what you have to say and not make unjustified comments



You are not the only one who got "busted" tonight.
I met my wife when she came home tonight total in femme.
I have told her before about my passion for crossdressing, but
I believe she thought it would just go away.

I was dressed to kill, I looked the best I ever have. It scared the
you know what out of her. It did not go well, at all.

She made me feel like a freak, and small, but deep inside
I know this is who I am ,and I can not deny that.

So I came to the forum for support. Your message made me feel better,
I know I am not the only one struggling with family and acceptance.

Erika

:hugs:

Hi Erika

Kimberly and Sheri are right up to a point its not a good way for this to happen

You do not say if you choose to wait for your wife dressed or if she caught you because of her arriving home early

Ideally there would have been some discussion before meeting you enfemme

Good luck to you both

[melissaK]

You ended up with a nice thread Joey88. I join the others in hoping you don't internalize your sister's attitude and convert it to shame or guilt. The cross-dressing desires won't ever go away and life's easier if you don't burden yourself with the values of people who haven't walked a mile in your heels. Or, maybe in your sister's case in CaptLex's boots.

hugs,
'lissa

[SatinDoll00]

she just kept telling me how crossdressing comes from the devil

I knew it!!

http://ppgirlscomar.webcindario.com/personajes/him.gif

Morgan

[Jodie Wexler]

I knew it!!

http://ppgirlscomar.webcindario.com/personajes/him.gif

Morgan

I knew it too - the Devil really does wear Prada.

[dakota_ann69]

Joey being of a Christian origin myself, I cannot help but think of this "Judge ye not, lest ye shall be judged yourself." Understand like had been mentioned before crossdressing is not something that goes away. The more you are able to get in touch with your feminine side the stronger you will be. I think given time your sister will understand.

Erika personally I feel that there should have been some long discussions long before you were busted, I still don't think my SO completely understands my need to crossdress, but she is accepting of it. Of course there are conditions that must be met to satisfy her needs, but all in all I am still able to pursue my needs.

Hope I helped.

:hugs:

Dakota

[Tara Jordan Campbell]

What would be your reaction if you came home to find wifey dressed as a man?





my sister caught me she found pics i left on my computer of me with my make up and dress on, when she asked me about it i tried telling her that its something i like to do that it helps me express my self she didn't want to understand though she just kept telling me how crossdressing comes from the devil ,she told me she wouldn't tell any one so i guess it could have went alot worse I'm not mad at her i know shes just trying to help I'm just kinda hurt

[Julie York]

What would be your reaction if you came home to find wifey dressed as a man?


I'd ask her to mow the lawn and mend the washing machine while she was at it.


:D

[Lilith Moon]

I'd ask her to mow the lawn and mend the washing machine while she was at it.


:D

I love it ! :D


Thanks for that Julie :hugs:

[JOEY88]

thanks a million every one , im not going to push anything on her i feel bad that she found my pics i should have hid them beter i hope with time she can except me

[Robin Leigh]

If you don't want to be found out, yes you do need to hide these things.

If your sister truly loves you, her acceptance will grow. But it may take a very long time if she remains ignorant. Do research here, so you can slowly educate her. Also remember that the more we accept ourselves, the easier it is for others to do so.

I didn't mean to attack or insult your sister, Joey. I was just attacking the toxic attitude that she is innocently perpetuating.

:bighug:

Robin

[KandisTX]

my sister caught me she found pics i left on my computer of me with my make up and dress on, when she asked me about it i tried telling her that its something i like to do that it helps me express my self she didn't want to understand though she just kept telling me how crossdressing comes from the devil ,she told me she wouldn't tell any one so i guess it could have went alot worse I'm not mad at her i know shes just trying to help I'm just kinda hurt

One question I would have is what was she doing "snooping" on your computer? If the pictures were in a closed file then she had to have been actively looking for something on YOUR computer to have found them. Now, if it is a "community" computer in the house then it's pretty much a moot point, but if it is your computer in your house, one has to wonder what was she doing on YOUR computer snooping into YOUR files.

Kandis:love:

[ErikaLadyoftheDesert]

Well Ladies; I guess I deserved the harsh words. I do see your point.
Just to clearify a bit, we had discussed my CD before, and I mildly exposed her to Erika previously. She chose to ignore it and hoped it would all just go away.

I wanted to show her that in fact, Erika was not going away, and hoped she would accept and understand that. Now, in retrospect, It was a real bad idea, and I appreciate all your words of wisdom.

We are going out tonight, (don't worry I am wearing pants and a shirt! Man style) :heehee: and I do believe we will weather this storm.

I am now left with a decision to make. DO I abandon Erkia forever to please my SO ? Or do I go way, underground ?

:eek:

Erika

[Claudia Zylindrias]

Ericka, Everyone is diffirent and in diffirent cercumstances, that being said here is my opinion. You can't get rid of erika, you may bury her for a time but she will be back. I have been through that several times through several relationships. When i was engaged to my ex-wife she knew for 7 months before the wedding worn skirts around the house everything. But once the ring was placed she tried to put a halt to it. Which happened for about 2 years. Then i was up in arms because of the fact she tried to change me and the only reason for it was her own hangups. She still makes fun of me on occasion and I retaliate in kind, she always backs down. Truth is the founding stone of trust and truly without a good foundation how will you two weather the real harsh storms that may come your way. Talk about it openly and try to take it slow. You are who you are as is she, be respectful and loving.


XOXOX
Claudia

[LA CINDY LOVE]

We as Cd's have nothing but the world we create and each other, what we do is taboo, gays come out the closet we hide in it they say they are gay and proud we say nothing gay people have the numbers and got power we got just the cloths on or back. what people do not know about they are scared about......we need to stand up and be counted.


LA CINDY LOVE

[jarts55]

Joey,
My wife told me the same things your sister told you. She wanted me to talk to my doctor and didn't like it when the doctor told me that everyone has both male and female in them. We didn't chose to be this way, just the way we are. Everyone always wants to blame someone.

[Angie G]

Well it's good your sister's hot telling :hugs:
Angie

[TxKimberly]

Narrow-minded and short-sighted people blame the devil. :2c:

All right y'all, play nice! Remember this may be a very young girl we are talking about who said it came from the Devil. We could be talking about a child here, not a narrow minded adult.

[Veronica 1]

We as Cd's have nothing but the world we create and each other, what we do is taboo, gays come out the closet we hide in it they say they are gay and proud we say nothing gay people have the numbers and got power we got just the cloths on or back. what people do not know about they are scared about......we need to stand up and be counted.


LA CINDY LOVE

LA CINDY LOVE for President! It is very true what you say, we hide in the gray area as most of us are hetrosexual and wear womans clothing for pleasure. If we get busted, usually we are branded as gay as the current male dominated world cannot see anything but black and white.

[crusadergirl]

I don't think cding comes from the devil he don't really like girly stuff. It sucks that your sister would think that but i'm just guessing it was said out of shock. I would be kinda weirded out if i walked in my bothers room and saw pics off him as a girl. I don't really understand what is so bad about dressing as a girl if your a guy. It would seem kinda strange a few years ago but really anything goes now days.
Tell your sister your sorry you dressed that way and you will try better to look more like her next time.

[jarts55]

Ronni,
You are so right about the male dominated world. It is alright to be a guy, even for women. They have panties called boy shorts! But for a guy to act the least little bit feminine. Well, whats the world coming to!