Slowly emerging

[Malissa Madison]

It's been most difficult, how do you tell the one person person who should be able to see it the clearest?
Friends and coworkers saw and acceopted my decisions none of them has given me any grief. I wish i could say the same for family. Except for a niece and her Daughter, who found out long before i knew they knew, My family pretends My new choices are nonexistant.
My niece had figured it out two years ago, her daughter just last year. It wasnt until a year ago that i actually told them. they found my online blog. then after i made the decision to help her in playing the family's control game. i sent her text on her cell phone. I forgot to change the signature, she recognized the number as well as the name from my blog. but the reply had me in tears the moment i read it.
"I don't care if your my uncle, , or my Aunt Malissa As long as you are happy being who you want to be."
Since we've become the best of friends, and her daughter accepts my decission, she even borrows things from time to time like earrings and on one occasion my favorite skirt.
While the mother and sister continue to ignore me, they go so far as to avert thier eyes if i wear something that causes my bustline to stand out.
I guess for me it was church that help me finally decide. you see it was on my birthday that the preacher decided to openly attack GLBT lifestyles. then proceded to include persons with Multiple personalities. Yes it was all i could do to contain the rest of us long enough to get out of there. I've not set foot in side a church since. Dont get me wrong i still believe just not in thier personal hypocritical versions.
I'm sorry persons with a XXY Chromosome defect don't really have much choice, a. change the outer body to mach what we feel in our heart, b. remain miserable and never know peace of mind, or c. take the last train to deadsville. I chose a. And it feels so right.
So how do i tell a 71 yo woman that not only does her son nolonger exist, but that he never really did to begin with. It isn't her fault, It just happened that way.
OK, sorry i didn't mean to make this sound so IDK, whiney.
Malissa

[JamesAlan]

I'm sorry to hear that your family reacts that way. I just recently told my grandmother (in her late 70's) that I was dating a m2f ts. What upset her most was that it made me gay. She hasn't brought it up with me since I told her, but believe me she's been talking my mother's ear off about it. Personally, I've never felt that I fit in with my family (aside from a couple cousins and my mom). I've had to hide so much about myself from them. It's made me miserable. I just wish I had the strength to be myself with them.

[GypsyKaren]

So how do i tell a 71 yo woman that not only does her son nolonger exist, but that he never really did to begin with. It isn't her fault, It just happened that way.


The same way I told my 89 year old stepmother earlier this year, you just do it with the same love and compassion you've always had. Mothers are truly amazing, they love their kids, and always expect something to come out of the blue, it's their nature I think. Will she understand? Perhaps, perhaps not, but give her the chance, she just might surprise you.

Karen Starlene

[Malissa Madison]

I said there were only two members of my family that accept me. Actually i omitted my Momma (Step Mother) who accepted me when i was 15. It was by accident or fate that she discovered me. but the next four years of my life taught me how to survive and overcome a lot of horible crap.
Sorry Momma, where ever you are. I do understand why you couldnt take us with you.I am happy that you got free of the tyrant, and kept my baby brother safe from him for so long.
I still have the label from the first skirt you gave me, I keep it always near my heart. I hope by some chance you might come across this and know, I remember you always.
Courage, My Love
Malissa