Shopping Tips

[Stephanie]

Being pretty new to the world of crossdressing, does anybody have any advice for how to shop for women's clothes inconspicuously? Several times I've been out at stores like Wal-Mart, etc. and wanted to hang out in the womens clothing section and look through clothing but there are always so many people around that I feel uncomfortable. Also, what is the best way to approach paying for clothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[Nikki A.]

Just act normally and noone is the wiser. Would you feel uncomfortable if it was for your wife/girlfriend?

[Bernadina]

A few things that may help.

Make list to carry and refer to it. That way everyone will think you are shopping for some one else and just happen to be organized.

Know your measurements. Sizes are terribly deceiving and change from brand to brand. Take a sewing tape measure with you.

Key measurements: These are typically a North American size 14, (UK 16) but can also be anythig from a 10 through an 16.

Across the shoulder - e.g 17"
Around the bust - e.g. 40" measure garment underarm to underarm - 20" would be a 40" bust.
Waist - e.g. 31"
Hips - e.g. 34"
Sleeve length - e.g. 24"
Neck - e.g. 16"
Inside leg (for pants) - e.g. 30"

Pantyhose (tights) Buy a couple of cheap pairs in size B, C, D etc and see which fit the best.

Shoes. Generally 1.5 x mens size in North America. e.g. Mens 9 1/5 = womens 11. But you must try them on.

Now you are armed with list and tape meaure. People will think you are one organized man.

By the way, Valentines and Christmas. Most of the womens clothes is bought by men. Good safe time to shop if you are little nervous.

And as for paying, ask questions like "if she doesn't like it can she bring it back?", "do you have a gift card?", etc. Oh and as for taking back. You get to do it for her as it just happens to be on your credit card.

Hope that helps a bit.

[Sarah Roberts]

I have recently started buying some shoes and stockings and I said to one
women in Pay Less shoes that I was going to an adult new years party and that it was dress up and I was going as a women with my wife. She was so helpful. She measured my foot and told me what size I was and type of shoe I would need and then she pulled a few from the shelf and lead me to the rear of the store and helped me try them on. I got real lucky! :)

Since then, I have used various events as excuses to buy stockings and a really nice mini skirt.

I like the idea of the list and don't be nervous cause then someone might suspect something.

Happy hunting

LOVE
Rosaria

[Richelle]

Stephanie,

Just relax and shop. You will find that the clerks do not care. Either they are are just putting in time or on commission. Both ways work to your advantage.

Just be polite when asking questions.

Richelle



Being pretty new to the world of crossdressing, does anybody have any advice for how to shop for women's clothes inconspicuously? Several times I've been out at stores like Wal-Mart, etc. and wanted to hang out in the womens clothing section and look through clothing but there are always so many people around that I feel uncomfortable. Also, what is the best way to approach paying for clothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[jjjjohanne]

In October, you can tell the clerks that you want to dress as a woman for Halloween (which, of course, you do want to do, right?) and they help you with no doubts about your intention. You can even wear hose and bring shoes to do this if you want. They don't seem to get it. Normally, the clerks find it fun and they recommend some goofy stuff.
The rest of the year, you have a few choices. If the clerk offers help, say no. If the clerk offers help, don't tell them it is for you and they will assume it is not. If the clerk offers help, say I am a crossdresser and ... All three will get you a similarly stress free shopping experience. If you went to a store to shop for halloween, you will have a feeling for how the woman responded last time and you might get a similarly friendly response this time.
If you go about your business, 99-100 percent of the population will not notice you. If you are really nervous and keep looking at the people who come walking around, you will draw attention to yourself. Then you will hear announcements on the intercom like, "Security, please record area 345." This happened when I was shopping. Of course, my nerves assured me they were talking about me! <grin>
I never look at who is shopping for what. In a crowded place, it is more true. People will not notice. I have taken men's clothes at walmart with me to the women's section. I pick out what I want to try on and I put the men's clothes over it on my arm. Then I go to the dressing room with men's clothes being the only clothes seen. Hopefully, there will not be a clerk who will want to see what you have. You can probably watch what happens when someone else approaches with not readily visible clothes in hand.
Most clerks and stores have about 2-3 CD's that shop there and they will be somewhat prepared for your visit.

[Julie York]

Act the dumb boyfriend/husband. Take an item with you the right size, and ask an assistant for help. "I'm wanting to buy a present. Something like this size." etc etc. "only in pink" (whatever) Works a treat and saves you feeling so self conscious because an assistant is actually helping you.

[DonnaT]

Being pretty new to the world of crossdressing, does anybody have any advice for how to shop for women's clothes inconspicuously? Several times I've been out at stores like Wal-Mart, etc. and wanted to hang out in the womens clothing section and look through clothing but there are always so many people around that I feel uncomfortable. Also, what is the best way to approach paying for clothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


JUST DO IT! I use to be nervous, but then I realized no one cared that there was a man in the ladies section, not even in the lingerie section. And if they did care, no one ever said anything to me. Just relax, shut them out of your mind and shop 'til your broke :D

[lucille]

Being pretty new to the world of crossdressing, does anybody have any advice for how to shop for women's clothes inconspicuously? Several times I've been out at stores like Wal-Mart, etc. and wanted to hang out in the womens clothing section and look through clothing but there are always so many people around that I feel uncomfortable. Also, what is the best way to approach paying for clothing? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


I have been a crossdresser for years and I find shopping to be one of the most exciting features of it. In my view It's silly to pretend that the clothing is for a girlfriend or wife, for one thing the assistant is unlikely to believe you and if you don't admit that the article is for yourself she (and always deal with a lady assistant) is less able to assist you. Shopping is a great way of 'outing yourself' as a crossdresser.

I always make it clear to lady assistants that the article is for myself. I have never had an assistant who was shocked and this is because anyone who has worked in clothing retail for any length of time has come across crossdressers. I have had many enjoyable experiences shopping and I have met some very lovely and understanding lady assistants.

Be upfront and don't worry about the embarrassment that's part of the fun!

Lucille

[trinity24]

LOL. I actually made an honest attempt to get something at the mall last weekend - wasted a lot of time getting there, and then as usual, chickened out the last moment. I probably spent 3 hours total going from department store to department store, trying to work up the courage, but I always ended up just leaving. At least I got some male clothes (I usually buy some first to have a bag to cover the other stuff). Anyways, I'm tired of all that - some of us are just not made to shop in real life.
On a positive note, I used a webcam to track the exact times the UPS truck delivers packages to my house, whem I'm at work - and they are extremely consistent. I'm placing a big on-line order this week from one of the stores, and will leave work real quick under some pretense, to snatch the package before my neighbors see.

[Stephanie]

Thanks for all of the suggestions. It doesn't sound as hard as it might seem. Sometimes it's easy when you like things that are a bit "different" to think that everybody is always watching you and that you are immediately going to be discovered and exposed for your "unique" interests but I guess other people have their own lives and problems to worry about too and aren't always quite so worried about what other people are doing. I feel a little better now about shopping for clothes now. However, what is the best way to approach buying a wig since it is not exactly something that you can easily say is for yourself like you can with clothes? Are most people who work in wig stores CD-friendly or at least understanding?

[DonnaT]

The store I got one of my wigs from was very CD friendly. There are few others in the area that I know are also CD friendly. Seems a lot of them are Korean run, also.

If in doubt, just call ahead of time and ask if they are OK with men coming in and trying wigs.

I bet most are, and they probably need to business.

[trinity24]

When it comes to wigs - I would try buying one on-line - saw plent of CD friendly stores on e-bay selling them.

[NoraT]

Just go shopping. Places like WalMart and KMart often have good values, especially for plus sizes. The checkout clerks are too harrassed to care one way or the other.

I have also found that, in some cities like New York and Miami, the salespeople in the better department stores, like Nieman Marcus and Nordstrom, can be very friendly and helpful. Do not hesitate to shop there and, if you feel brave enough, to tell them it's for you. Don't even worry about being passable. In some of these stores the salespeople have been trained to serve our community.

Hugs,
Nora

[Wenda]

Depends on your frame of mind. LIke some of the others, I have had some shopping experiences that were actually thrilling, help at the change rooms, advice on sizes, etc. If you are not comfortable, the large chains, WalMart, etc, are a good place to start. Just focus on the shopping, know what you want, look for it. Ignore everyone else. Like Bernadina, I often carry a cute little red seamstress' tape (maybe that's a Canadian thing, eh?).
My first pair of shoes was a great experience. I went to several stores, none had anything that fit. I just went in and said I was looking for something black and slightly trashy. When I finally found a store that had women's size 12 (US), the young lady was a bit frazzled at first, but, then...she got into it, I think she got a bit of a kick out of being the person fitting the black slingbacks onto the 6'1" guy. When I finally picked a pair, she tried to upsell me a clutch.
If you just can't do it, you can order everything on line now. Just shop. enjoy it. If it doesn't fit, return it, part of the thrill. wenda.