GG dating CD male to female

[cadon]

Hi All,

Very new to the world of CD, but I met someone who seems to be wonderful. He has been very up front and honest about his CD desires. He has not had a long term relationship in some time, but then again truly open minded people are few in numbers.
I am glad he has told me that he likes to CD, and I think I can be accepting (I won't really know until I experience it). I don't think that starting off with lingerie will be an issue as I can understand the desire that some men have to feel the sensual side of lingerie -- if it turns them on whats the harm? I just have alot of questions in general on how to approach the idea of furthering the CD to a wardrobe of clothing.
My questions are more geared to "how to's" and being able to effectively communicate if I should start to feel a bit shy because I have never known someone who CD's.
Mostly, I am pretty sure I accept him for the man he is and don't want to have any inhibitions about furthering our relationship so it can be healthy for both of us.
Finding a forum for these questions would be great!!

Have a Great Day

[AllieSF]

Hello Cadon and welcome to this wonderful site. You have come to the correct place. After you get 10 posts you can private message other members and join different parts of this site. There is a special section for GGs only (genetic girls) and I recommend that you join that and read as much as you can. It is not that common for a Significant Other (SO) to totally support their mates. So you are a very special person in a lot of our eyes. I think you will learn a lot here to help you understand who we are, how different each one of us is and how similar some experiences will be to your own. Regarding how to communicate with your SO, I say just talk like you have done in your introduction, honestly and from the heart. CDers can be very complicated people so be patient and good luck.

[cadon]

Good Day All,

I know this is the forum for me. Your responses have been simply fantastic.
I can see myself being with him, just really concerned about how much "she" will be involved. He is also new to being involved with someone who accepts the CD he enjoys. I find myself not thinking about his actual crossdressing, but how my reaction will be interpreted.

Happy Thoughts and Smiles :GD:

[TxKimberly]

Hi All,

. . . Finding a forum for these questions would be great!! . . .



Well, you have just accomplished that ins spades! I can 100% promise you that you will get answers to just about any question regarding CD here. The bad news? Your gonna get half a dozen answers, and most of them will differ from each other! lol

I. and many more, are very glad to help in anyway - that IS one of the main points to this forum! On, and welcome to the TG (Transgender/Crossdressing) world. It can be an odd place at times but it's rarely boring! :-)

[Jillm]

My only suggestion could be the same for anything in your relationship. Talk, talk, talk, and when you get tired of talking, talk some more. I found commutation is the key to my almost 20 years of marriage.

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Cadon

I suggest you go slowly and listen to the responses from him carefully

As you say the lingerie he may see ad a bit of fun and not be quite sure himself how far he takes it

Have you asked him if he has gone further than just underwear but suggesting it might be interesting to see what she looks like
I am sure it will be a nervous start as the fear of rejection is quite high
There may be pictures that you can see and comment on

The main thing is to be gentle and understanding and I feel sure you can have a long and happy outcome

[Lora Olivia]

hi Cadon
my :2c:
my advise is take your time.."him" being in a relationship with someone who accepts "her" is probably new to him also, so your ? of how much she will be involved is hard to answer...since you both sound very open, alot of talking is called for...and self searching...how much do you want "her" involved. Are you prepared for a life with 2 people of the opposite gender...are you ready to go out with "her" shopping or dinner and a show if that is where this takes you...does "she" have normal female desires of being intimate with a MAN

Anyway hun, this is a place to find many answers and also many ?'s but I find it 99% supporting so it is a good start :hugs:

[loardata]

:cry:i wish my wife was this accepting-she not a very touchy-feely type of person and it did not change after she found out about my cd'ing but i get so lonely sometimes:(-there is just no time for me because of out daughter and grandson living with us-michille

[kittypw GG]

Priorities, balance, mutual respect and understanding should be at the top of your list as you start this relationship. Notice I did not say crossdressing. If you have your priorities right, you have mutual respect for eachother and you both try to understand where the other is comming from the crossdressing will find it's happy home in your relationship.

One mistake that I have made in the past is that negative behavior is just that and not an extention of or related to the crossdressing. Crossdressing is just an easy target or dump area for those bad feeling. Another common mistake is that as women we tend to let a lot of things go that bother us until we get so overwhelmed that we have a melt down. When we don't say that we are uncomfortable about something they naturally interpret that as acceptance or that you are ok with whatever it is that they are doing. So it is equally important to be open about your comfort level so that you don't head to that melt down. Trust me it is very confusing for the cd when all of the sudden you put on the brakes. (I know what I am talking aobut here).

Welcome to the forum. Hope you join the gg section. It is our soft place to fall and there are a lot of great gg's on this site who are or have been in your shoes so there is lots of wisdom and hugs given out. A few reality checks too. :hugs: Kitty

[Veronica 1]

Cadon, you sound like a very open minded and caring person. Keep that attitude while you get to know both sides of your person of interest. Some things will seem strange at first, but only due to your preconceived and ingrained inhibitions that you have aquired throughout your life. Be willing to accept him for who he is and try to be supportive to his desires and you will have a man to love and a girlie friend to go shopping with all in one.

[Holly]

Cadon, I really can't add much to what has already been said. No matter what the dynamic of the relationship, the key to success is open, honest communicaton. You both should feel comfortable in engaging one another in any topic. Cross dressing simply adds a new topic to the list. You both need to encourage honesty of feelings from one another. Both of you should feel comfortable going to one another about any issue. There is absolutely nothing wrong with establishing boundaries and limits. As you both grow, these can always be revisited. Just the fact that you are willing to explore this puts you in a somewhat elite (and special) group.

[Rachel Morley]

I just have a lot of questions in general on how to approach the idea of furthering the CD to a wardrobe of clothing. My questions are more geared to "how to's" and being able to effectively communicate if I should start to feel a bit shy because I have never known someone who CD's.

Hi Cadon, welcome to the forum. :hugs: Like the others have said, it's about honest and open communication. When I first got together with my wife I found it quite hard to let her know how I really felt about cding because I thought she might think I was weird or something. It tuned out to be quite the opposite actually and we both understand each other so well. It's now an integral part of our relationship and we both enjoy dressing me for fun and going out socializing together with cding groups. I would say relax, have fun with it and just try different things out with an open mind. By things I mean different clothes, makeup, wigs etc. No matter what he's wearing, if you're anything like my wife, you'll still "see the boy underneath". My wife has a saying about cding. She says its like tasting new food .... you have to try it a few times before you start to get a liking for it. :D

Just enjoy talking to each other and finding out where each other's boundaries lie. It should work out fine if you respect each other's point of view and perspective. The main thing I want to say to you is "be happy" :happy:

[cadon]

Thanks Rachel for your input. He opened up to me about his CDing when we first met. I intend to keep things honest and up front. As for now its still discussion and we need to commute to see each other. I know that we enjoy each other as individuals first and foremost, so it will likely be a slow transition to discover the CD aspect of things.
When it comes to being open minded I like to think I am pretty much that way. I don't have body issues for myself. I am definitely a communicator and from what I see, thats a huge plus.
I want to thank everyone for their posts, it is a tremendous help.

[JamesAlan]

I remember seeing my girlfriend en femme the first time was nerve wracking. I didn't know how I'd react. I'd known her for 5 months as a guy. Then seeing her in her first dress warmed my heart. She was so happy and it looked good on her. Since then I've seen her en femme many times. Now it's odd to see her looking masucline. She says she's trying to get it out of her system. As to how much your sweety's femme side will be out, don't know. But you are heading the right way in talking. Communication is vital (still working with girlfriend to be upfront with things with me, now she evades a question just to pick with me lol).

[sterling12]

Congrats on being this accepting. It's a large step toward self-actualization and adulthood!

Always remember, the Cd is only one aspect of the personality. There are many other good and bad features that make up each person. All people are very complicated beasts!

I think that you will find that we are pretty much like most folks out there, maybe a few less or more alcoholics, ditto on drugs, and other problems. Typically, we don't bite, shed on the furniture, and are usually able to conduct ourselves in a reasonable manner.

Your relationship with your new guy will have to stand on it's own. If you find that you care enough about him, The CD will cause it's problems, but certainly is not a "deal-breaker."

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Rosaliy Lynne]

I could only wish I had someone like you in my girl life. My first wife was insecure in marriage so I never revealed this side. My second was accepting but then stopped accepting. Eventually she tried a woman and later replaced me with a man she met on the internet. My third (and last probably) wife would never accept this side if she knew about it. I did dress as a witch for halloween one year. I had fun but she disapproved of the costume. Oh well.

Communication and acceptaance are the main keys at any rate. He has accepted himself and you both are communicating. Since you seem to be of an open mind - accepting his femme side should go along smoothly enough.

One thought that is important is this: the person is who you love. The package is just window 'dressing'. Open the package and enjoy.

[Angie G]

Hi Cadon welcome and ask away hun :hugs:
Angie

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Hi Cadon and welcome :)

I missed this post, don't know how, sorry.

I'm sure you're going to be fine in the relationship, there are no hard and set rules about how or when to develop a wardrobe, you might even find he doesn't want that.

It is nothing more than another aspect to your relationship and like everything else you do, you take it day by day and do something you both fancy. Think of it like hiring a DVD, you've got to both want to watch it, you learn a bit more about each other - and a bottle of wine always adds to the occassion, hehe.

CDing is fun, don't turn it into a project in being perfect and it'll all go well.

I've tried to remember how we got from HC being in knickers to not even noticing if he's in a basque, stockings, nighty and so on and I honestly don't remember. It just sort of happened. For a while he would admit only to knickers, I don't remember for the life of me whether he said outloud that he had more stuff than I do or whether he just got on with it. I don't even remember noticing...

Either way, you're a lucky girl because much of the sharing in this makes the relationship much nicer. For a start when you normally say to a bloke, "I need a new bra" you get the answer, "You've got loads of bras!" and a whimsical look as he mentally tots up how much this is going to cost him.

Now when you say it he'll want you to have the best because he actually understands that it's important. ;) Oh - and he'll let you do make-overs too - can you imagine more fun with your knickers on? (Even if they are on him, lol) :D

[Alice B]

First of all welcome. I think that the fact that your boyfriend was open and honest about likeing to CD and the fact that you are open to it and willing to learn to make the relationship work is great. It shows a strrong willingness to be open and talk, which are the basic foundations to a suscessful relationship. Have honest discussion about it and maybe have him dress once for you to see how your reactions is. Then set guidelines that you are both comfortable with. If his being dressed does not bother you, then helping him with clothing selection and make up could be a lot of fun for both of you. It may be harder for him to adjust than yourself. Keep us posted.:love:

[SusanMarie]

Dear Cadon,
The experience you have available to you on this forum is priceless. Read and re-read every post, as there is much heartfelt and honest information.
I will only add that after reading your post, your boyfriend is one lucky 'gurl' and you are AWESOME!