well my mom found out

[emily<3]

my mom found out about me yesterday and kinda freaked out. well she doesnt want me doing it but i think she knows im not going to stop.

she compared crossdressing to drugs. i told her i do it because it makes me feel good and i dont see any wrong in doing it. and she said thats the same thing drug addicts say =(
and well yea she said i had to controll it. i had it conrolled pretty well i thought. when ever i felt like it. but hers is more of a never.

well today i wanted to go get some makeup and i was going to walk. well my mom wouldnt let me alone (i told her i wanted to get some ice cream). she made me go with her to get some coffee and well i couldnt get anything. an the whole way back she was like. is that what you wanted to get. like to rub in my face that i didnt get what i really wanted.

i dont know what to do. i still have to listen to her cause i cant move out. i just want to convice her that this is what i do and there is nothing you can do to change it but i dont know how.

[carie]

well hun . this happend to me a few months back. she doesnt like it but i think she slowly digesting it. yeah she still watch out for me and nag from time to time but here. to matter what, she's ur mom . she want for u to be happy.

even she dont like talking about it, my mom do bought me a few girly stuff for me from time to time. give her a while . try explaining to her slowly. thats what i do .

i hope ur mom will understand sooner or later. good luck then .

hug and kisses ..carie

[camera_laura]

I'm sure that you will persevere and the things will work out.

Getting caught has always been my greatest fear.

[Zee]

I agree that you mother is slowly getting used to the idea. Let her. It will take time, but her feelings have been hurt. Hopefully, in time she will become more accepting. When the time is right, maybe the two of you can have a real heart to heart. The trick is to know when that time is right.

I sincerely wish you the best of luck, it hurts when your mother doesn't understand your feelings, but bare in mind that her feelings too have been hurt.

[occdresser]

:devil:Well crossdressing is just like doing drugs, it is very addictive.

[barbaralynn]

early in my crossdressing life i found out that telling mom and then my future wife about barbara was the way to go getting caught, to me, would have been worse than the road i took. neither my mom or my wife freaked when i discussed the matter. the good part is that i didn't have to worry about being caught.

[kay_jessica]

Just hang in there. Your mom will come around if she cares about you. They usualy do. She would have to be a very strange mum if she was prepared to risk loosing you over this. Don't rub her face in it, but like wise don't hide it from her. Buy the makeup and tell her "yes I want to buy x y z". Be pragmatic, but don't hide your things any more. Let her know through association that you are what you are and that you as a person are happy with that. Besides at the end of the day, what you do is not illegal, and the US (9-11 aside) is supposed to be a free country and you have certain human rights, freedom of expression. Expressing yourself as a female be it CD,TV, TS or TG is your right. I don't know how old your mum is, but I suspect at your age many of her generation, and may be even your dad, were conscripted to fight in Vietnam for the those very freedoms that she wants to deny you.

She will come round in time

Hugs


Kay

[Chelseaswpa]

Maybe get her some more info on it and help her learn more about your "addiction":heehee: It will also take some time for her, after all you have always been her son and that takes some getting used to. Good luck with everything sweetie:hugs:

[Rachel Morley]

I guess you need to have a talk with her. Try to find out just exactly what her issues are. What are her hopes and fears ... especially her fears. You can't resolve any issue until you understand the other person's viewpoint. There could be all sorts of misconceptions she has about cding. She might think you're gay, or some sort of religious issue, or that she's worried about what the neighbors will think etc. You have to talk openly with her. You're not breaking the law (unlike drug taking) you're not a drug addict, or a child molester, or some kind of juvenile delinquent. You're just a guy who's got a bit of a girly side to him that he want to express sometimes in the form of what clothing he wears. What's the harm in that?

Good luck and be patient and forgiving to your Mom.

[TxKimberly]

As you are still living with your mother, I assume you are fairly young. You have probably heard this before. You are probably SICK of hearing this, but it is none the less true. At a young age, time goes by SOO slow and it seems like things last forever. It will be forever until my next Birthday, or until I get a car, or until I get an apartment, etc.
When you get in your 30's and 40's suddenly someone puts the clock on fast forward and time just starts to zoom. You will start to have to do the math when someone asks you your age because your birthdays are coming so damn fast you can't keep track.
Here's the good news and the point I'm trying to make - this too shall pass. Much faster than you think, you will have your own apartment, and be free to do what you like with no interfearance from others. So relax, roll with it for now, and know that soon you will be free to fly as you wish.

Hmm . . . just finnished reading comments by Rachel above, and have to agree. It might help if you find out what it is that she thinks crossdressing is and see if you can ease her mind. I also agree with Rachels comment about forgiving your mother. No matter how much she might be irritating you right now, remember she IS your mother and deserves your respect. Don't do or say anything right now while your smarting that you may regret later. Again, take a deep breath, tell yourself that you will get through this, and do your best to roll with the flow for now.

[Stephenie S]

Keep talking, hon, keep talking. That is the only way to convince her. Keep talking.

Stephie

[BarbaraTalbot]

...with their mother..


But unreasonable invasion of privacy is not healthy or helpful.

There is a time and a place to offer guidance towards your children, and there is a time to let them make their choices.

I have no problem with a mother rationally explaining her genuine concerns about a child's choices and even limiting their freedom as necessary for their actual safety and health.

There is no excuse for belittling. Just because a woman gets herself knocked up doesn't mean she has earned a life-long hold over the psyche of another human being's thoughts, feelings and actions. Same goes for Dad's of course. Mine just was never very engaged with the children.

Those that had the benefit of truly loving and nurturing mothers owe their mother gratitude and love. Even they do not owe their mother the fulfillment of their mothers aspirations for them.

A common mistake parents make is assuming for themselves the failures (so called) and accomplishments of their children.
Our oldest son is an incredible athlete. When he was young, we used to have him run to that tree and then that one in a misguided effort to wear him out. This may have helped his lung development. More likely though is the genetic contribution of his Bio Dad (a competitive swimmer) and a lot of hard fought for skills developed from hundreds (thousands?) of hours on the soccer (football for everyone else) field (pitch).

Just as I have no right to pride in what are his accomplishments, his choices that I disapprove of are not a reflection of me, my parenting or anything but his individuality.

My first thought was that she doesnt like it because what will the neighbors, the relatives or whomever think if they knew. Otherwise she would not have told you to 'control' it rather than simply abstain.

If it is her business at all , she then OWES an explanation as to what her concern is. A drug user can be arrested, spend money they can't afford, affect their health up to death, injure themselves or others while impaired and many other concerns.

What does she think will happen? Will you die of a shaving injury? If it is a religious objection, how does it affect your ability to worship? If it is social, why do we care what others think?

[Alex!]

My mom discovered my stash under the bed (how stupid of me, frankly) when I was about 15. For days she avoided me and I was ashamed. My dad was told of it as well, and he didn't know how to react. It was easily the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced. After a month or so, I recall things went back to normal, and we never discussed it again. While they might not have forgotten the incident, it is so far removed from our daily lives that it didn't occur for all intents and purposes. I think my parents probably thought I was a confused male teen, and they were probably right.

[kendra o'riley]

emily - there's a lot of wisdom here from the sistah hood - all good stuff - we've been past these and other issues that await your journey down this path. I can only echo the love and compassion here - I would point out little sister that there's always only two things you can ever do in these and other sitchs to protect your own heart:
1. You MUST always love.
2. You can never MAKE someone feel or think anything.

That said - nothing can ever stand up to love - you have to be courageous enough to put this to the test. If you love yourself - your mother will eventually come around. If she doesn't - you must still always love her - or you will never forgive yourself. Thisalso doesn't mean that you must accept her view of you. If she doesn't ever come around and you still always loved her then you will always be able to feel right with how ever this eventually plays out.

It is a long road - your entire life. Kimberly's right - this too will pass - make sure it passed on your terms - right, happy and true.

You're not alone little sis.
k

[rachael devry]

i :drink:was caught at an early age 14-15 somewhere around there and the week or so following that i was walking on eggs. eventually it came to pass.im sure they thought it my dressing up would pass. little did they know 35 years later i am still dressing up. good luck time heals all.