Coming out to Wife

[Skycop]

Here goes, the title is kind of misleading in the fact that I have already come out to my wife. We've sat down and discussed many things surrounding my dressing and she has stated she is very accepting. I also showed her several photo's and she has made the comment that she finds me very attractive and she gets very excited when she looks at them.

The problem: I haven't actually dressed for her in person. I have hinted at her helping me with my makeup several times, and also picking something from my wardrobe for me to try on. Although I keep dropping the hints, she hasn't yet followed through.

My question: How should I proceed... ?? Do I simply lay out clothes on the bed and ask for her assistance or do I get dressed sans makeup and ask for her help... ??

Ask you can see, I'm really confused on this one. I could use all the advice you gurls can shovel my way.

Thanks in advance,

Skye

[AllieSF]

Skye, from what I have read here, I would recommend that you take it slowly and let her come to you about it. It takes some time for a SO to come to terms with this surprising news and sometimes they can have second thoughts about it. In any relationship communication is the key to making and keeping it a success. So maybe just keeping that communication channel open and including your CD interests as a frequent topic will give you the opportunity to ask her directly when and how she would like to see you dressed and help you out. Good luck.

[Alice B]

You might just directly ask her if you could dress for her amd ask if she would help with your make up. At least you will then know where she stands, without being threating. Keep us posted.

[Sheri 4242]

I agree! What she says is one thing and what she does is another -- and what she is telling you IS promising -- but, since actions speaks louder than words, if she isn't picking up on obvious hints it could be that she is working up to this!!! My first inclination is "go slow" and be reassuring -- be open and honest -- and patient!!! That said, if you want to try something, maybe tell her you like the feel of silky against silky and would like to suggest a romantic weekend to explore this with her. If she agrees -- prepare a hotel room with flowers, soft music, champagne, and candles (to light after you get there). Then, take her shopping and buy yourselves matching nighties and thigh hi's. Then take her to a nice dinner, then to the hotel. Let her get dressed separately from you -- then, meet in the candle light with soft and romantic music playing in the background, and see what comes up (*ahem* -- no pun intended).

[Skycop]

Thanks for the thoughts gurls, I will consider everything. I suppose my confusion comes from her statements. We talk about my dressing very often, she has even asked to see my photo's on more than one occasion and has asked to try on some of my shoes. One of the really great things is we are considerably the same size, with the exception of her breasts, lol. She is a 38 DD and I am merely a 40 B...lol

I like the whole hotel room Sheri and will probably go that route. We have a local Vicky Hush Hush that we both like to stop in now and again. I'll use the next oppurtunity to go in and have my wife suggest the outfits....

your thoughts....

Skye

[Sandra]

It could be that she doesn't quite know how to respond to your hints or thats she's worried she may say something wrong or react wrong.

You could do what Alice has said ask her directly and if she agrees get dressed but put the makeup on your self, tell her your not to sure about how it looks and ask her advise.

The main thing is not to push or try to go to quick

[Bethany Ann]

Skye.....

My wife and I are in the exact same spot. She knows...approves and even giggles about the pictures. I look forward to the day she dresses me all up for a private little picnic with a bottle of wine and she can finally meet Bethany...! I just wonder when? I'll be watching this thread close.

Beth

[Shelly Preston]

Sicnce she has seen the pics

I would suggest you ask her for her opinion on your pictures
You can then suggest it would be easier for her to comment on you rather than pictures but only if she is agreeable

Most important make sure you do something for her :)

[Jillm]

My SO knew I was a cder before we got married almost 20 years ago. I only did little things around her at first. I would be setting around the house with pantyhose on under jeans and take my socks off. After a while I knew she was use to seeing me that way because on a hot day she told me to go put some shorts on because it was so hot. From there it went to telling me my legs would look better if I shaved them. Before I knew it she was buying clothes, shoes, and makeup. Now she loves dressing me up. However to get to this point we talked a lot and I progressed things as she suggested them. THIS TOOK MANY YEARS, I think about 10 or 12 years. Now on a weekends sitting around the house, if I have on jeans and not a skirt, she asks me if I feel ok. My suggestion is talk to her and take it slow, but don’t try to talk too much about it, because that can backfire on you.
Jill

[Mitch23]

little steps ...

this phrase comes up over and over again. It may take months or years. She may be accepting but she may also be struggling and this may take a while to come out. She sounds a great girl!

Mitch

[Skycop]

Here's the deal, it would appear we are playing the same game... My wife has now taken to dropping some hints of her own. The other night in the middle of sex, she made the comment that the night was all about me and what I wanted.

Not hard to figure out if you don't have a love of Cross-Dressing hanging in the air. I was very confused and didn't bring it up during our session. Then just the other day, we were watching reruns of "Will and Grace" and Tim Curry made an appearance. You all will remember him, of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame. Well, she makes a comment relating that's why she accepts my dressing, because she found Dr Frankenfurter sexy and hot in his lingerie.

As you can see, NOW WHAT DO I DO... I don't want to take any chances, we have a great 17 year relationship going. 15 of those are marriage and we have two wonderful children and I don't want to jeopardize any of that.

Like I've said previously, she has stated she is accepting, we've discussed it at length and she has seen my photo's en Femme.

Where do I go from here....

Skye

[Zee]

Here's the deal, it would appear we are playing the same game... My wife has now taken to dropping some hints of her own. The other night in the middle of sex, she made the comment that the night was all about me and what I wanted.

Not hard to figure out if you don't have a love of Cross-Dressing hanging in the air. I was very confused and didn't bring it up during our session. Then just the other day, we were watching reruns of "Will and Grace" and Tim Curry made an appearance. You all will remember him, of Rocky Horror Picture Show fame. Well, she makes a comment relating that's why she accepts my dressing, because she found Dr Frankenfurter sexy and hot in his lingerie.

As you can see, NOW WHAT DO I DO... I don't want to take any chances, we have a great 17 year relationship going. 15 of those are marriage and we have two wonderful children and I don't want to jeopardize any of that.

Like I've said previously, she has stated she is accepting, we've discussed it at length and she has seen my photo's en Femme.

Where do I go from here....

Skye

Lets not be coy here. It appears you are reading the situation correctly; however, one can never be 100% sure. Just go ahead and ask her if it is ok for you to dress for the occasion. Perhaps just a little at first, then as time goes on, a little more until she is more comfortable.

Its all about little steps here. Do not innundate her immediatly with Skye. Let her sample a bit... and then as time goes on, well, time will tell.

Good Luck Skye...

[Mitch23]

perhaps you should buy her a megaphone and a flashing neon sign - I think she's trying to tell you something!

mitch

[Darlene-VA]

It seems like you and the wife have reached the point where it is time to ask her is it ok if I dress tonight and share a nice dinner (maybe even cook dinner) and see where it goes from there, good luck

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

Is it too much to simply ask her if she minds you dressing in her company and allow her to tell you what she's comfortable with?