Stupid, stupid, stupid...

[QZ2]

What is it about this need to cross dress that causes me to do such stupid things. I can't seem to help it. There is no way I can try to pass my self off as a woman, not with a full beard, but I find myself wanting to go out in public dressed. And I do it.

Lots of times fully dressed, sometimes with wig, sometimes not, I have gone out driving in full daylight. I have taken walks in a skirt. I have taken chances of being "caught" that I later consider really stupid. Maybe I want to get caught. I don't know, but I do know that I can't count the times I have promised never to do it again. Throw all that stuff away so I can't be tempted. But I just stash it all away again and take it out whenever I get the chance. Even if for only a few minutes. And when I get the bra on, with the padding, the blouse, the skirt and heels, I just want to go out and show myself off.

Do others feel like I do, and do stupid things as well? Is there a cure or should I even be looking for one?

[Stephenie S]

Hay hon, Butterfly Bill does it and he has a full beard. He has a fine time. Read some of his posts. You can go out dressed. He lives most of his life dressed (and looks pretty good also).

Check out his posts. There is no need for you to be miserable. Just do it.

Stephenie

[Angie G]

Hay if it works for you go for it hun but be careful :hugs:
Angie

[Zee]

I do it quite a bit, bra, panties, skirt, blouse, gotee...


People will judge you on your appearance... nothing will stop that. However, I do not think it stupid that you go out dressed.

Just watch out for someone who is looking for trouble, because they will immediately target you. Other than that... be yourself.

Enjoy yourself, your life, and your time while you can... they will never come again.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Ive done stupid things and have taken dangerous chances myself, nothing like you have, but still, later on, I am appaled at what I did.

I think this is what we call "THE PINK FOG" mentioned oft times on this site. WHen we get in a CD "mood" our judgement often goes out the window, or is at least somewhat imparred.
---Its only after we get our CD "fix" or "Charge" when we come totally back to our senses.---And hopefully didnt let our own stupidity get us into trouble this time.

[BarbaraTalbot]

since you mentioned a full beard and not wanting to get caught...

DO you keep a beard specifically as a means of discouraging yourself from what you apparently feel is compulsive and undesirable (for you) behavior?

The reason I ask is I too have had compulsive behaviors in the past that I tried desperate measures to stop. In my case it wasn't CD'ing. Knock on wood I can stop that anytime...really..I think..

I haven't actually tried to stop. I used to repress it a bit, only did it partially and only when I had absolute privacy. I guess if I think of a good reason to stop I'll get to find out if I can.

Risk taking in and of itself is a little addictive. I didn't get the impression from your post that you are going out for the thrill of it. Seems like either be more careful that you aren't identifiable such as shave and try to pass more, or dress in private.

[sandra-leigh]

Lots of times fully dressed, sometimes with wig, sometimes not, I have gone out driving in full daylight. I have taken walks in a skirt. I have taken chances of being "caught" that I later consider really stupid. Maybe I want to get caught. I don't know, but I do know that I can't count the times I have promised never to do it again.

Your problem isn't your dressing, your problem is your fear of being caught! So why not let yourself be caught and get it over with? :D

I make it sound like a joke, but it sounds like you really want to be seen. Which is very understandable (to me, anyhow). It's like when I bought my first real forms, and the size 6's seemed just right, but (excuse the terminology, but it's what was in my mind at the time) the size 7's made me feel "****ty", so I bought both sizes... because there are just days when I need to be publicly sexy, some days when I just have to express that "I am a sexual being too!!" (Find the guy in this posting who spends overmuch time in brain-work. :( )

What does it mean to you to "get caught"? Reading what you posted here, it sounds like to you "getting caught" might include anyone an actual look at you, possibly even if they don't recognize that you are a guy. But you mention your beard, so it sounds to me as if you are assuming that anyone who has time to look at you would immediately "read" you as a crossdresser. And perhaps that would be the case if anyone saw you face-on. Do you have a moustache too? If not, then perhaps one of the lower-face mid-east type scarves would work for you.

Or when you say "get caught", do you mean "be recognized"? Seen dressed and the person perceives who you are? If so then there are classic remedies like going out of town.

It is also common here when people write of "being caught", that they are specifically thinking of their wife. Myself, I was out and interacting as a crossdresser with many people, some of whom knew me "before", some of whom I've "always been" a crossdresser to, with some of them knowing my male name (and the sales clerk could have read my last name off my debit card easily enough). I was a "known crossdresser", "out" to a number of people, seen fully dressed or in various degrees of feminine dressing, and I didn't care much how many thousands of strangers "read" me as a crossdresser -- but being "caught" to me was my wife knowing. (Which she now does, and what a relief that was, to stop the lying and hiding.)

There are many people, some with more than 2000 postings here, to whom being "read" as a crossdresser by even one stranger is more than they can they are willing to risk. But there are other people who are comfortable with strangers seeing, as long as no one connects back to their male person. And there are others who don't care if strangers connect the crossdresser and the male, as long as the person "doesn't know them". What is your meaning of "caught"?

[teresa jeen]

it pretty much depends on you. which by the way is the only one you have to be happy with. if you feel a need to go out then by all means do so. i, like to go for rides and just take a walk en-fem. i dont really want to get caught but more wish that "they" would accept me as i am. im more comfortable in womens clothing than mens. just be yourself as much as possible and dont let the little stuff worry you.

[Mary Morgan]

Of course we do. It is who we are. Get use to it. Enjoy it. Make it a part of your everyday self, but don't be ruled by it or by anything or anyone else.

[Veronica 1]

I have the same problem, once I get dressed, I want to go out. I try not to as I am not passable, but it sometimes feels so overwhelming that I have to give in and go for a walk, usually after dark. I feel so "me" when dressed, so natural, that I have a hard time to repress myself.

[dakota_ann69]

Let me share with you, I am 38 yrs old and have had a moustache/goatee since I was old enough to grow one. When I got the courage to post some photos here is the only time that I have shaved it off, I must say that I miss it greatly but for me it only takes a week to grow one back, sigh. I found it very liberating to be able to shave it off and make an attempt at being passable. I have often times taken a risk, I remember going through the drive through at my bank in a pair of heels, pantyhose and a very short skirt just in an attempt to be caught, much to my dismay I have found that people are just to wrapped up in their work or lives to notice, I am very guilty of this myself. Just be yourself and enjoy who you are!! Eventually someone will notice and the fear I have for myself and others is that the outcome may involve a hospital stay. Just be careful and enjoy who you are. Life is full of risk.

[Suzy Harrison]

Your e-mail raises some interesting points - that is the excitement of getting caught out - as ridiculas as it seems I think we all suffer from it. Many years ago I spent my first morning in the town as Suzy. I was dressed down for the occasion to blend in - like everyone else around me. After a few hours I got bored with it, went back to my hotel room, slipped into a leatherskirt, high heels and a lacy top - and went out again. It was as if I wanted to be noticed - and maybe that was the excitement I was looking for. Looking back it was madness really. Having said all that, why keep the beard?

[Hippy Chic's Chick]

What is it about this need to cross dress that causes me to do such stupid things. I can't seem to help it. There is no way I can try to pass my self off as a woman, not with a full beard, but I find myself wanting to go out in public dressed. And I do it.



Matter of perception. I don't see stupid, I see brilliant and brave. :)

The only advice I could offer is on whether you have seriously considered being caught, is the risk worth it? If you lose nothing, then hell - go for it! :)

[Lilith Moon]

I must check in as yet another "exhibitionist" with a distinct urge to be on display in public when dressed although I doubt if I pass with anyone who gives me more than a passing glance (yeah, pun). In a way, I want to blend in but at the same time I get a heart pounding rush of fear/excitement as I step outside wondering what adventures I am going to have this time. So, paradoxically, I also want to be noticed. And when an outing is over there is the thrill of having "survived" yet again...even maybe even passed a little.

Of course, I have been "caught" and, although terrifying at the time, my memories are tinged with an electrifying tingle of excitement, a sort of alive feeling during the events. Gosh, my pulse rate goes up even thinking about some of the things I have done.

I think the adrenaline junkie effect that makes people pursue extreme sports combines with a need to express our true selves to produce this potent urge among many of us.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I am not one to talk since I go out all the time and doubt seriously that i have ever "passed". I however do believe that we should try to look as dignified and as close to womanly as we can so I do disdain the bearded lady look but to each there own I guess. I think that the beard and or mustache does us all no good but again who am I to listen to. Good luck with whatever you want to do with your dressing up and don't worry what anyone thinks since you really need to satisfy only yourself.