Latecomers to crossdressing-

[Veronica Fallon]

Are there any here who didn't discover the delights of their own femininity until after their teens?

I think I'm a rather rare breed in our sisterhood. I was basically unaware of my deep feminine desires until the age of 32, when an old girlfriend urged me to dress for her enjoyment. We picked a long weekend in January & planned for me to stay at her place en-femme for three days. She did my make-up, styled my naturally long hair, polished my nails, & since we wore the same size, she picked out several dresses, outfits, & lingerie items to dress me up in. As she began putting me together for the first time, I grew profoundly excited. The more girly she made me, the more aroused I became! I'd never been so horny before! I also felt other (non-sexual) stirrings come racing to the surface of my soul, grateful that I'd finally "awoken" & affirming their strong presence inside of me so as never to be ignored or neglected again. I felt gloriously free, peaceful & yet sooo excited, & above all- finally complete as a person. I didn't understand it, but I knew I truly loved it!

Well, we got snowed in on the third day, so I spent an entire, wonderful week altogether, totally as a woman. My GF spent the days teaching me a lot of what it means to be female, & we made sweet lesbian love for much of the nights. She said I was a natural with feminine movement & mannerisms, & it really felt natural to express myself as a woman! She loved for me to model her own clothes for her & I must have tried on everything she owned at least once. I didn't want that week to end!

I was absolutely euphoric for those seven, incredible days, & amazed that something so profoundly powerful could exist within me for so long without my conscious knowledge.

My thirties were a time of great introspection, personal growth, & expansion much deeper into my truest self. Though I only dressed sporadically for the next few years, I thought about it often, still seeking when & where "Veronica" came from & where she might be headed towards. Little by little I put together the pieces & realized she was always a tremendous part of me- the major part as far as gender-identity. I eventually came to the conclusion that my sub-conscious was just too smart for me. It knew that I lived in a very hostile environment to ANYthing feminine in a guy, & that I dared not even consider the possibility of any femininity inside myself. Since my femme side was so strong, I dared not even think about it, lest I feel a need to express it or (worse yet) that it sneaks through my macho (half-facade) exterior without my conscious consent or control! So I remained safe, but un-whole & largely unhappy for many years. Much of that was from not knowing what was missing in me- connection with my womanhood.

My sub-conscious has always operated at genius level, but doesn't always make the choices my conscious self would. I now dress almost daily & much more than I dress en-drab. Since my femininity has been free to flourish & blossom at will, I often wonder what all would've been different in my life had I discovered as young as most of my sisters. Would I have known more enrichment, joy & fulfillment experiencing life often through "her" eyes instead of just "his"? Or would I have been severely damaged from personal loss, humiliation, physical abuse, or even worse? Probably some of both...

I'll never have a real answer to that one, but I'm wondering if anyone else has known this kind of "sub-conscious suppression" with their CDing. Or am I just a freak among freaks, hee, hee?:jumping:

Hugz,

Veronica

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I wanted to dress for years but never thought my wife would accept it. In October of 1996 I was kidding about going out on Haloween dressed as a girl. I said my wife and I could go at twisted sisters. After bringing this up a few times she figured that this had nothing to do with Haloween. So she took me upstairs and dressed me. Then she told me to buy wigs and taught me makeup and nail polishing. She encouraged me to dress and bought me clothes. I was 50 at the time and married to her for 28 years.

I now live full time at home and since we are both now retired I am really Sasha Anne about 95% of the time except when I run errands. I am so happy to be living as a girl now.

Well that's my story,girls.

Hugs

Sasha Anne

[Veronica Fallon]

Thanks Sasha Anne, I liked your story. With such an accepting wife, I betcha wish you'd have told her sooner!

What I really mean to ask here isn't when we began dressing, but rather when we became aware of the urge to dress. Most have memories before or during adolescence, but I really had no conscious clue until that magical day 15 years ago. Just wondering if anyone else repressed it to themselves, to that degree.

Have fun sweetie,

Veronica

[TerriM]

In a support group that I belong to there is a CD that didnt start dressing till his late 60's. So you are not alone, not by a long shot.

yours Terri

[Joy Carter]

So you were snowed in, in January, in Florida ? LoL

I'm sorry, but I had to ask. LoL :heehee:

[Veronica Fallon]

Hi Terri & thank you. No urge to dress until Sixty years old... wow, I'd like to hear her story!

I'll also use this moment to correct a mistake in my last reply- my awareness happened 13 years ago- not 15!! Most of us girls fudge our age lower than the real number, & I just raised my age a couple years! I've always been a blond, but maybe it's time to "explore the dark side" for awhile!!:blushing:

Bye sweetie,

Veronica

[Veronica Fallon]

So you were snowed in, in January, in Florida ? LoL

I'm sorry, but I had to ask. LoL :heehee:

Hi Joy... good question!:shifty:

No, I lived in the Ozark Mountains of Arkansas then. Usually only one heavy snow per year, so I was quite lucky to be trapped where & when I was. It must have been destiny [dramatic sigh]...

Giggles,

Veronica

[BarbaraTalbot]

I only wore certain articles of femme clothing, rarely, guiltily and then repressed again and again over the years. Only a few months ago I realized that gender and orientation are not intertwined necessarily. I wanted to try this with my wife. I was trying to practice on my own (failing miserably). She found out and tried to be supportive, but I was SO repressed that I heard it like "well if you must, go ahead".

When she lovingly persisted in stating her acceptance of me as a person, that first trip shopping together and then dressing was transcendent.

With her help it was the first time I expressed myself fully with clothing, make-up, wig and a little deportment coaching

[chucks]

i started at about age 22. no story.

[Dana921]

I was very slow to realize or acknowledge then accept the urge to dress or express my feminine side! I just kept repressing it and jumping into another hobby or interest to help ignore the feelings I was having (even though at the time I did not understand what those feelings were or what the represented)! I just pushed them back deep down and found something to take my mind off of it and keep going on with my life! I finally could no longer ignore or repress the urge or maybe more importantly the desperate mental need to allow that side of me to show, although only to a select audience! Well now that I have there is no danger of me putting that side of me back in a bottle or hiding it! It has come out with such a rush and given me an almost new sense on life! I feel I am experiencing many things for the first time because my perspective and interpretation is different now! In some ways when dressed, I feel like a young teenager just viewing life, other people, style and different appearance choices for the first time trying to decide what decisions I will make and which direction I would like to go! Very quickly I am trying to mature and represent myself as a young person transitioning to a mature adult with occasional lapses back into being a kid again! It’s as if I have to let the side I did not allow to grow catch up to the side that did live and experienced normal life maturity stages. So I do not think you are alone! It is quite funny some times how our mental age varies greatly within ourselves during our activities and sometimes (maybe way to often) our physical age reminds us it just isn’t so!

Dana

[Katie T]

I started at 9 years old, just with undies, but it wasn't untill I was 30 that I dressed fully, and boy was that liberating, now I dress almost every day and with my SO's help I am learning about make-up. I hope to be able to post some pics in the near future.

[ronna]

Yeah how's this for about weird as it gets? I disovered nylons around age 9, heels at about 21, but never, never had any notion of dressing completely until I was 48. Now I wish I had gotten an earlier start, since I discovered how much I liked it. My youthful looks would have been a big plus back then!

[Carroll]

I was unable to actually explore my femme side until I met my current (#3) wife 9 years ago

[DanaJ]

I think I always had the urge, but never acted on it at all until I was around 40. And I wish I had acted on it earlier - when I was thin and had lots of hair!

[BarbaraTalbot]

Now I wish I had gotten an earlier start, since I discovered how much I liked it. My youthful looks would have been a big plus back then!


And I wish I had acted on it earlier - when I was thin and had lots of hair!


Oh, sing it sisters!! When I was 115 lbs and working out in the gym 2 hours a day on various muscle groups whilst consuming 5,000+ calories a day, I could have just stayed home, shopped mail order and done my nails! And don't get me started about hair. I had curly hair that seems to femme. I had just with the loving support of Dee gotten comfortable with the idea that my Jean-Luc Picard hairstyle was very virile and masculine looking, when BAM the urge hit. I look in the mirror now and I see Patrick Stewart in a wig..erp


I feel like a young teenager just viewing life, other people, style and different appearance choices for the first time trying to decide what decisions I will make and which direction I would like to go! Very quickly I am trying to mature and represent myself as a young person transitioning to a mature adult with occasional lapses back into being a kid again! It’s as if I have to let the side I did not allow to grow catch up to the side that did live and experienced normal life maturity stages.
Dana

This is really worth a second look. I have thought examining my thoughts and behaviors while dressed that the Barbara side is a giddy teenager. I hadn't run across a post on point with that feeling prior to yours. I had been trying to formulate a way of explaining how I feel, and it is just as you describe. I feel I have to catch up. Like she woke from a coma.

[Deidra Cowen]

I started at the young age of 43! :heehee:

I have several friends here in Atlanta I know personally that started a bit late also. The lady that did my first makeover/transformation told me she got a lot of girls in their 40s that came in to get dressed up for the first time. Her theory was that our testosterone was dropping as middle age hit and those underlying femmy urges finally burst through. Oh well its a theory!

That being said the great majority I know did start some form of CDing back in childhood.

[Paula G]

I consider myself a late comer also. I tried on my first skirt and pantyhose when I was about 27, then repressed the desires on & off until about 6 years ago.

[Veronica 1]

I was always into panties from my teen years, but could never go beyond that until just this year. Now I dress daily and fully though sometimes I skip the makeup and nailpolish. I am 51.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I think the urge comes as soon as we can reach the age of reason. That is when we can first identify self awareness. Some of us just repress this but it has always been there. So we should accpet it as our natural selves and not fight it. And embrace it if we can.

[NovaScotia]

Yes, late bloomers like me are sad that they did not do more to express themselves earlier, when we were prettier and more feminine; but what would our lives be like now? Movies are made up of stuff like that, but what is..is. I am just now, thanks to this forum, enjoying where I am, and going for more. Many of you have suggested baby steps, and that is what I'm doing.

[NatalieH]

Yes, late bloomers like me are sad that they did not do more to express themselves earlier, when we were prettier and more feminine; but what would our lives be like now? Movies are made up of stuff like that, but what is..is.

I'll second that thought...I'd rather spend my time and energy shopping (!) than beat myself up over what coulda been. To the original question, I discovered the urge when I began dressing, and that was a little over 2 years ago - I was 58.

Natalie

[Mitch23]

So Veronica, what happened to this girlfriend of yours - I'd like to meet her! I have been an undie fetishist as long as I can remember but it was only when I met a pro dom who started a feminization process that the t girl in me was let out of the box never to return. That was only six months ago and the rest of my story, you girls are well aware of as I have shared it with you

mitch

[joann07]

I've worn pantyhose from my early teens and up through today.
I only started fully crossdressing last year (Oct 2006) at the age of 37.

[DonnaT]

We used to have a member here that mentioned starting in her 70's.

[KIMBER SAND]

I STARTED VERY YOUNG BUT STOPPED FOR YEARS AND NOW GETTING UP A FULL HEAD OF STEAM AND LOVIN EVERY MINUTE I CAN DRESS EN FEM:2c:

[Brenda_fish]

I had no conscious feelings until about 40. For several years I had grown unusually interested in sexy clothes, heels, etc. I started buying some these things for my wife. At one point while shopping online, I had a WOW moment. It was a bit scary but it dawned on me that I wished I could wear that stuff. I wrestled with my feelings for a couple of years. Then realized I had to tell her. I did and she took it pretty well. Took me shopping a couple of days later and got my first outfit and some makeup. Wow was right. I've never been out dressed but have plans to do so soon.

Love,
Brenda

[Elif]

Once when I was 13, and not again until last year when I was 55.

I spent plenty of time in therapy way back when and it never came up.

I'm intrigued by the "menopause" theory. Testosterone levels do drop at an increasing rate after 50, but philosophically I don't like biological explanations.

love,

[Angie G]

Veronica Better late then never hun :hugs:
Angie

[chrissietoo]

Veronica, that's very interesting. Obviously your girlfriend was attracted to Veronica, even if you had not yet met her! Many girls respond to our femme selves, and I've been grateful to the girls who have smiled at Chrissie so that she felt safe to be herself. :hugs:

From as far back as I can remember, I admired girls' things, imitated their pretty handwriting, and brushed my hair back from my face like a girl would. I pretended to be a boy, though, even when I would daydream about being a girl.

I was in college before it dawned on me who I was inside, and that slipping on my girlfriends' bras was not just a kinky habit, but a deep expression of who I am.

I spent most of my high school and college years showing everyone that I was a good stud, but as I look back, my successive girlfriends nurtured my femme side more and more.

In my sophomore year abroad, I had met a Norwegian girl and after a passionate summer I had to return to the US. Her best friend was an airline attendant who flew to my city, and when she was in town we'd have dinner and she brought gifts and gossip from my gf.

Inger shared an apartment with other Scandinavian flight attendants, and on the Winter Solstice, Inger invited me to join them for a traditional celebration. The most stunningly beautiful girl in the apartment was dressed in white with a crown of candles, and we went around the neighborhood (a very hip artists area) visiting friends, singing and bringing food treats.

My roll was to carry a tray of food, and they dressed me in pantyhose and a tunic. I was in bliss, in pantyhose surrounded by pretty girls! When we got back to the apartment, I stayed in the pantyhose all day, and I remember so distinctly feeling like one of the girls.

Oh, and the girls were coming and going, crossing in front of me to go to the bathroom to dress, or change clothes, or tinkle. I felt so comfy and warm in my pantyhose, and so soft and feminine to be in that house! I became a frequent visitor, and, as I look back, although I told myself that I was there to dig on the sexy women, really I was there because I felt like one of them!

I would mark those months as when it really began to dawn on me that I identified more with the girl inside than the guy on the outside.

I began to collect some feminine things to wear, starting with pantyhose! My g/f and I grew apart, and I didn't date for a while, but I was very busy in the closet, and continued to visit the girls, now dressed in panties and some of my unisex clothes.--I'm sure many of you understand.

The next girl I met and dated was pretty and sooo feminne sexy. The way she looked at me sent shivers through me, and I asked her out. We had dinner and she took me home to her place, where she flipped me on my back, kissed my nipples, and set things right.

When I told her that night that I'd been dressing, she laughed and said she'd known I was a girl from the moment she saw me! Like it or not, Chrissie had appeared~ :happy:

[Veronica Fallon]

Wow, thank you all so much!

I guess it's not just me. I think this reflects three things:

1) The mind is way more powerful than we can even know.
2) Fear is a huge motivator to the mind.
3) The ignorance of society is a massive breeding ground for fear.

BTW... I'm not dwelling on what might have been, had I discovered my femininity earlier in life, I was merely curious how the power of my subconscious compared to that of others. I'm very happy with my "TG-ness" & grateful to have found it at all !! And as much as my daydreams might wish otherwise, I wouldn't change a thing about my past (good or bad) because every bit of it has made me who I am today. But... in my next life I'm gonna be born a woman, damn-it!!! :yahoo:

Thanks again girls,

Veronica

[Carla4Guage]

I was a VERY late bloomer. I didn't have any sisters to try on any of their things. I don't remember "borrowing" any clothing from my mother, aunts or any girlfreinds growing up. I don't remember any "fem" moments or feelings throughout my lifetime, but suddenly last winter in my 59th year of my life, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Tried some of my wife's things (too small). So I purchased a few items for myself, hid them and tried them on late at night after my wife had gone to bed for the night. O-M-G, what a rush! Since then I have purchased several outfits, wigs, shoes and a whole drawerful of makeup. Told the wife, she is semi-OK with it, but has no intrest in seeing me dressed, helping me or participating in any way. WHere I am today is the result of 6 months of expirementing, and maye you can see from the avatar, I might be passable, if I ever got the courage to go out.

[Adrienne Heels]

I didn't start dressing seriously until I was 51 ! Before that, just occasional lingerie and heels for a thrill.

[natasha]

When the opportunity came while growing up, I had tried things on here and there but never beyond that. I always knew there was something there but never acted on it. So much so that I would never participate in halloween costumes because I knew what I would end up in and wanted to dress in. Two years ago my wife talked me into finally dressing up for halloween, I accepted and she suggested she go as a guy and me in a dress. Viola, fireworks, yahoo etc...... Ever since then I have been dressing any chance I get. I cant explain how comfortable I am in what I now view as proper attire. Im now 43

[Seville]

Been CDing for 55 years now, had a RUFF time in my teens thru thirties
with family (see other posts). :thumbsdn:

Very enjoyable to be able to enjoy 2 worlds. :o

[camera_laura]

I had experimented with CD-ing at several (at least 4-or-5) different points in my life and if anyone read my introductory post, had the desire to cross dress as my earliest memory.

I guess that I am a late in life bloomer in that it is only recently (last 3-4 years) that I have actually acted upon my CD desires in a way that brought me any fulfillment.

My greatest happiness I would have to say comes from finding this particular forum. Before moving my current location (Dayton, OH) I was in the suburbs of Chicago and they have a pretty strong support network,but I never got to the point that I was comfortable with them.

Had I found this forum while I was there, things may be different for me. But while I'm not going to try to play "catch-up" I'm going to move forward from where I am today.

Thanks to ALL of you.

:gh:

[eleventhdr]

I was a very late blommer about getting into and finally discovering that i was a transgenered crossdressing person but then i had always thouhgt that girl's were maically even when i was very young and i had wished way back then that i had been born a female instead of being the male that i ma and i still do feel this way even today i would trade in a minute to be a girl but am still content to dress when ever i can but would sure like to dress if and when not all of the time as much as possible but to be able to wear female clothing all of the time would be an ultimate goal ah oh well i and we very probaly all really do want to be girl's at least a lot of us do want to be thhis way anyway yeah i am a late blommer to dressing but i still feel like to wear female clothing is a blessing and would still do it almost all of the time if nad when i were get free enough to do so i am still a girl inside who just want's ever so to be out as a real female anyway that's still how i do feel about it thank you Suzy Ann!