I had a little Drama at a Lesbian Bar.

[Deidra Cowen]

Lori Anne (Tgirl), Richard (FtoM Trans) and Myself all met up at a little Lesbian bar called 'Paris' last night. Richard is the one of the only FtoM Trans that runs with our crew in Atlanta, but I think thats it works out pretty good for the FtoM and MtoF folks to hang with each other!

We were having a good time, the little lesbians were fun to chat to as they usually are, A straight GG and two guys with her were real cool and talked with us. We even had a round of shooters with them to celebrate her birthday.

Then three Straight middle-aged GGs came in after eating next door, this bar is very new just open a few weeks, so they are getting a lot of walk in traffic from all the resturants and other bars around that ritsy shopping/dining district of Decatur. (suburb city in Atl metro area) The three GGs were ok at first but after a bit their questons and opinions on Tgirls got tedious and I actually got a bit pissed off, especially when one said my Daughter was too young to know about me being a Tgirl.

Can't speak for my friend Lori Anne but I thought they got on her nerves too since she actually left with little notice, the pretty little lesbian bartender also seemed leary of them. I can't prove it....But I think she ran them off or at least talked to them. I went outside to smoke (imagine that!) they were there at the bar with the bartender alone. Suddenly the str8 GGs came out with funny looks on their faces, did not even say bye to me after I bought them a round of drinks which they did not finish...and hauled bootie to their car!

Anyway sorry for the drama but I think I am going to be a bit more on my guard when straight folk start with all the Tranny Questions and stuff. Will be freindly but when they start asking about sex, family and personel stuff going to just not going to answer so openly so they can make their little snap judgements.

Anyway I have so much fun and almost everyone out in public seem to be cool with me being a Tgirl....I think I forget a lot of 'regular' people really just can't wrap their brain around the whole transgendered thing.

[Victoria Anne]

Deidra I'm sorry you had such a bad experience at Paris last night. I was in Atlanta last night, now I know where to go next time. All in all it does sound however like you girls did have a good time.

[MsJanessa]

Lets see--three "straight" women in a lesbian bar who stayed and had drinks with the lesbian and trannie crowd at the bar??? Are you sure they were straight?

[flatlander_48]

What straight people don't always realize when they walk into a place that is essentially for GLBT folks is that they are in foreign territory. For God knows what reason, they seem to feel empowered to make their opinions known. They don't understand that they left Kansas when they crossed the threshold. Asking all sorts of things that they wouldn't out in the rest of the world somehow seems OK. Perhaps the best strategy is to shut the conversation down as soon as the direction is known.

[nikki_t]

Sorry to hear about the troubles. If only more people would take a more libertarian outlook on life instead of being so judgemental and superior. Liberty is defending someone else's right to do something you may not like.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

People are people. Some are nice, some not so nice. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. It sounds like you had a brush with the latter type. Chalk it up to experience and don't allow it to colour your view of people in general.

[SherriePall]

Deidra --
Sex and personal stuff are usually off the table even for straight conversations. And mixing family with those other two topics is also a no-no in polite circles.
In my opinion, those three GG's were not, in any way classy or polite.
I would not spend my time worrying about the little drama. Those people are just not worth it.

[Deidra Cowen]

Deidra I'm sorry you had such a bad experience at Paris last night. I was in Atlanta last night, now I know where to go next time. All in all it does sound however like you girls did have a good time.

Hey thats kewl you were in Atlanta...I do notice girls here on the forum from time to time noting they are visiting the city, no big surprise since so much buisness, conventions, etc get done here. Yeap we did have a good time but I will confess I was POed and a little dissappointed driving home.


Lets see--three "straight" women in a lesbian bar who stayed and had drinks with the lesbian and trannie crowd at the bar??? Are you sure they were straight?

Like I said, the bar is brand new...they are getting lots of foot traffic. Even guys walked in but usually took a look around and realized it was a gay bar. Just a little rainbow on the front door...so people do not know its a gay bar. And yes I can tell three straight middle aged chicks from lesbians...plus they told us they were str8.


What straight people don't always realize when they walk into a place that is essentially for GLBT folks is that they are in foreign territory. For God knows what reason, they seem to feel empowered to make their opinions known. They don't understand that they left Kansas when they crossed the threshold. Asking all sorts of things that they wouldn't out in the rest of the world somehow seems OK. Perhaps the best strategy is to shut the conversation down as soon as the direction is known.

Yes you just might be on to something there sweetie. :heehee:


Sorry to hear about the troubles. If only more people would take a more libertarian outlook on life instead of being so judgemental and superior. Liberty is defending someone else's right to do something you may not like.

Thats why sometimes I tell people I'm a Liberatarian Anarchist! :devil: Thanks for the sweet supportive comment babe.


People are people. Some are nice, some not so nice. Sexual orientation has nothing to do with it. It sounds like you had a brush with the latter type. Chalk it up to experience and don't allow it to colour your view of people in general.

I agree to a point. Tons of staight folk are kewl about things, but a lot are not. I am more or less just bitching about getting quized about sex, family and personal stuff then having snap judgements thrown back at me. Maybe I would be more fair game out at a straight club or some place in public. But I always consider the gay bars to be a safe place for us.

You might have noticed however I noted the nice birthday girl that was totally fun that we did shots with. So its not all str8 folks...and I will say the gay and lesbian people out at the clubs hardly ever get into all the questons and judgement. They kinda catch grief sometimes themselves so are more sensitive.


Deidra --
Sex and personal stuff are usually off the table even for straight conversations. And mixing family with those other two topics is also a no-no in polite circles.
In my opinion, those three GG's were not, in any way classy or polite.
I would not spend my time worrying about the little drama. Those people are just not worth it.

Thanks Sherrie, you are always so nice and I agree with your opinion...yeap should not let it bother me...but I did! But I am pretty postive person most da time, probably ok to pout every once in a while! :heehee:

[BarbaraTalbot]

I am going to be a bit more on my guard when straight folk start with all the Tranny Questions and stuff. Will be freindly but when they start asking about sex, family and personel stuff going to just not going to answer so openly so they can make their little snap judgements.

Anyway I have so much fun and almost everyone out in public seem to be cool with me being a Tgirl....I think I forget a lot of 'regular' people really just can't wrap their brain around the whole transgendered thing.

Sorry for the part that made you want to pull your head back into your shell a bit. I think this is going to vary widely by the person.

It's not just the 'regular' people that have trouble wrapping the brain around it. I am far from regular and it took how many years to get my head around my own unique brand of Crossdressing, and I still find myself blundering and giving unintended offense as I try to get my mind around others feelings. Its just human nature to relate to others experiences the way you would see them yourselves. I think the work you do out their in the open is invaluable, but of course you only have to be as open as you choose to be and even then on a case by case basis. I love your adventures regardless.

[Chelseaswpa]

Damn D I cant believe that happened to you. I am still amazed that GG's do that. I mean I have always though most GG's are more understanding- hey I will reaccess my thoughts

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I am more or less just bitching about getting quized about sex, family and personal stuff then having snap judgements thrown back at me.

And I understand why this incident got to you. All I'm trying to do is to suggest that you can make a positive out of a negative then if a similar situation arises in the future you'll know how to handle it. Next time you'll be in control ;)


You might have noticed however I noted the nice birthday girl that was totally fun that we did shots with. So its not all str8 folks...

So there's a positive to cancel out the negative :)

[wannabie]

I didn't think CD's were allowed in lesibian bars. I once went in drab and I was stopped at the door. they said that I needed someone female to let me in. but that's in NY.

[Zee]

Damn D I cant believe that happened to you. I am still amazed that GG's do that. I mean I have always though most GG's are more understanding- hey I will reaccess my thoughts

Some people are just like that. Caught in their own sphere of self importance and nothing exists beyond that. They have a word for that... narcissism.

"1. inordinate fascination with oneself; excessive self-love; vanity.
2. Psychoanalysis. erotic gratification derived from admiration of one's own physical or mental attributes, being a normal condition at the infantile level of personality development."

When I meet people like this, I feel so sorry for them. They miss so much of life this way. It grips my heart and I feel like I need to help them, but their very nature will never allow it. So I move on. "Not my problem", I delude my self in saying. Then I think that down the road, it very well could be my problem if our paths meet again under plethora of unfavourable circumstances. So I pray that we wont meet again until said person has had a wake up call to reality. However, until then, I let it slide because if I waste my time worrying about it, they have won.

[Alicia_lynn419]

Hey Another Atlanta girl here.. never heard of "Paris", but glad to know its there (planning another night out soon). Where is it?

I've lived in Atlanta for over 22 years now.. and even though there are some amazingly sweet, understanding, open minded people here, this city still has it's more than fair share of hillbilly, redneck white trash - even if they LOOK/THINK they are all Rodeo Drive... You can dress them up, but you can't take them out. This is probably the reason you NEVER here anything about Atlanta in the news unless it's negative.

C'mon.. who shops at Phipps Plaza and goes to the NASCAR races on the same weekend???? LOL!