1st time out pic...

[Veronica Fallon]

Hi girls,

Just a silly lil' thread here, but I was too excited to resist!

Last Saturday evening was my first time anywhere beyond my own home. I attended my first Tri-ESS meeting as Veronica & was sooo nervous at first that I could barely even walk or talk, or even feel the femininity I'd waited so long to experience in the presence of others. We'd gotten a late start getting ready so I had to rush my make-up & even had to pull the curlers out of my hair as my S/O drove us there. The meeting was set to begin at 7:00, which was when we discovered our directions were wrong & called for new ones. I'd originally hoped to get there a lil' early & now we had to make a late, "grand entrance" with every eye upon me! I felt nauseous :puke: & almost canceled, but my GGF reinforced my fragile bravery & convinced me to go through with it (luv her!! :<3::kissing::<3:). I was such a wreck when we arrived that my legs were (for the first time ever) actually shaking! I barely spoke for a long while & probably seemed like an idiot when I did. But the girls there were so kind & gently supportive to me that I eventually relaxed some, & by the final hour I at last started to feel the femininity that comes so naturally to me any other time. Just as I'd finally begun to taste the delicious freedom of being my true, feminine self in (semi)-public, the meeting was coming to it's end. Whatta bummer!

Well, I was still pumped & my "first-time-high" :yahoo: was still climbing, so I couldn't just go home now, but at the same time I knew I wasn't ready to go too public just yet. So I decided to take another baby-step by stopping at a quiet convenience store for a celebratory six-pack. I tested my femme voice (which I hadn't used at the meeting) in the car, checked my make-up, gathered my rapidly fading courage & went inside. I was hoping to merely get in & back out, cleanly & quickly. The (quite cute) twenty or thirty-something cashier had another idea. He tried to keep me there with chit-chat, questions & compliments about my outfit & my "pretty eyes" :battingeyelashes:. It finally dawned on me that he was actually flirting with me as an attractive woman! I'm sure he must've then seen my deep blush, even through all my make-up! :blushing:

I felt sooo exhilarated that he found me desirable I even flirted back just a little. When he asked for my phone number I told him I was just passing through from somewhere else, & to end on a good note, I thanked him & made my exit.

I was barely aware of driving home after that encounter with such a cute (& much younger) guy. My mind was all a-whirl, my heart a-flutter, & my body electrified! It took forever to get to sleep, with all the thoughts dancing through my head. I was amazed how validated & empowered as a woman his attention had made me feel. I was so sure of not passing if anyone gave me more than a quick glance, that his reaction just blew me away. It's a shame he'll never know what a precious gift of confidence he gave to such a timid, frightened girl that night! Hmmm... I guess I could find a way to go back & thank him :drooling:, but why take a chance on ruining something so perfect already?

All in all, my adventure served it's purpose- I experienced the heavy "fist-timer's" fear I'd thought I would (more even!!), & the gracious support of some newfound sisters, & even the validation of passing! It's a night I'll always remember & it gave me not only a heightened desire to go out more, but a bit more confidence for next time. Whew... I get a rush just thinking about it! :jumping: The tangibility of being out has also made me feel like even more of a true woman than I already did. Can we die from feeling too much blissfulness??

Well anyways, I just received a decent picture from that unforgettable night & couldn't resist sharing! I know my outfit is a lil' too risque' for a Tri-ESS meeting :eek:, but until I get a nice pair of black shoes it's the only combination that can match my white ones. I'm happy with the over-all look, but I think I resemble a deer caught in the headlights. My S/O says she can't see raw fear I was feeling, but I think she's just being kind. So what do you think- do I look as nervous as I felt????

Sugar & Spice,

Veronica

P.S.- You don't really have to answer this- I just had to release some of these endorphins before I exploded!!!

[SherriePall]

No wonder that clerk was chatting you up so much. You look great. Glad you calmed down and had a good time at the meeting. What do you have planned next?

[Shelly Preston]

You look terrific Veronica

No surprised then that the guy was flirting with you

Well done on getting beyond those doors and enjoying yourself :hugs:

[Katie Moore]

You look fab... If I was the clerk I ask for your number too!

:love:

Katie

[BarbaraTalbot]

So, no, your nervousness doesnt show. But yes in your shoes I would have be as nervous as yo were and more so!

You looked really femme, remarkably so.

[Deborah Jane]

You look gorgeous, no wonder he flirted with you.

[Mary Morgan]

Wow, what an experience, and you look lovely. Ease up on yourself.

[Fab Karen]

You look allright. You made a big step going into a real world place like that store. It's possible the guy was an admirer, if you think it'd be easy to tell up close at least.
Get out to some t-girl friendly clubs & enjoy yourself, and if you feel like it, work up to going places like restaurants.
:happy:

[Dee Talbot]

Sounds like the meeting was wonderful!!! I'm so glad you got to go out in public as your feminine self!! And we do feel attractive when we get attention from someone else. It's validating to have someone else see how pretty we are (and feel) and then comment on it. In looking at your pics, I have to say you were the very model of femininity :happy:

Dee

[MsJanessa]

Love your look darling and glad you had a good time

[JOEY88]

my eyes are so green with jealousy you look amazing and thats a under statement

[Elsbeth]

You look great! And it sounds like it all worked out. Congratulations on taking such a big step. I'm not sure I will ever be able to go out in public.

Way to go!

El

[JULIE33362]

WOW YOU LOOK GREAT I USED TO LIVE IN FT LAUDERDALE NOW IN VERO BEACH LOVE YOUR NIGHT HUGS JULIE:love::love:

[Girly Sara]

You look fab, Veronica! Good on ya girl!

Sara xxx

[SandyR]

I think you look Great! Good job, and glad you had fun.

Hugs!

SandyR

[Amber CD]

You look great! Glad you had a great time out! :)

[wannabie]

The first time out is either the best or the worst. for me it was the worst, but It tought me how to dress and act more in character.

loved your story. some girls are just lucky.

[racquel]

You look amazing.I look forward to your next trip and I'm betting it will not be long in coming.:love:

[surfdoc]

You look fantastic!!!!!! Wish I could do that.. and look that good...

[PatriciaCD]

If I didnt know bettwr I would have guessed that you were a real woman. Glad to hear you had such a wonderful time.

[Darlene-VA]

What a great night out, hope you have many more and enjoy every minute of it

[paulaN]

When I clicked open that first pic. my exact words "WOW"
I am real glad you had a good time once you calmed down. And ya know what, I think you will have to do it again.

[cdsteph]

simply that....wow

[Chantelle CD]

Wow fantastic!! way to go!!! I too had a first outing not that long ago, cant wait to go out again :) grats again dear, and many more outings to come :)

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Hi girls,

Just a silly lil' thread here, but I was too excited to resist!

Last Saturday evening was my first time anywhere beyond my own home. I attended my first Tri-ESS meeting as Veronica & was sooo nervous at first that I could barely even walk or talk, or even feel the femininity I'd waited so long to experience in the presence of others. We'd gotten a late start getting ready so I had to rush my make-up & even had to pull the curlers out of my hair as my S/O drove us there. The meeting was set to begin at 7:00, which was when we discovered our directions were wrong & called for new ones. I'd originally hoped to get there a lil' early & now we had to make a late, "grand entrance" with every eye upon me! I felt nauseous :puke: & almost canceled, but my GGF reinforced my fragile bravery & convinced me to go through with it (luv her!! :<3::kissing::<3:). I was such a wreck when we arrived that my legs were (for the first time ever) actually shaking! I barely spoke for a long while & probably seemed like an idiot when I did. But the girls there were so kind & gently supportive to me that I eventually relaxed some, & by the final hour I at last started to feel the femininity that comes so naturally to me any other time. Just as I'd finally begun to taste the delicious freedom of being my true, feminine self in (semi)-public, the meeting was coming to it's end. Whatta bummer!

Well, I was still pumped & my "first-time-high" :yahoo: was still climbing, so I couldn't just go home now, but at the same time I knew I wasn't ready to go too public just yet. So I decided to take another baby-step by stopping at a quiet convenience store for a celebratory six-pack. I tested my femme voice (which I hadn't used at the meeting) in the car, checked my make-up, gathered my rapidly fading courage & went inside. I was hoping to merely get in & back out, cleanly & quickly. The (quite cute) twenty or thirty-something cashier had another idea. He tried to keep me there with chit-chat, questions & compliments about my outfit & my "pretty eyes" :battingeyelashes:. It finally dawned on me that he was actually flirting with me as an attractive woman! I'm sure he must've then seen my deep blush, even through all my make-up! :blushing:

I felt sooo exhilarated that he found me desirable I even flirted back just a little. When he asked for my phone number I told him I was just passing through from somewhere else, & to end on a good note, I thanked him & made my exit.

I was barely aware of driving home after that encounter with such a cute (& much younger) guy. My mind was all a-whirl, my heart a-flutter, & my body electrified! It took forever to get to sleep, with all the thoughts dancing through my head. I was amazed how validated & empowered as a woman his attention had made me feel. I was so sure of not passing if anyone gave me more than a quick glance, that his reaction just blew me away. It's a shame he'll never know what a precious gift of confidence he gave to such a timid, frightened girl that night! Hmmm... I guess I could find a way to go back & thank him :drooling:, but why take a chance on ruining something so perfect already?

All in all, my adventure served it's purpose- I experienced the heavy "fist-timer's" fear I'd thought I would (more even!!), & the gracious support of some newfound sisters, & even the validation of passing! It's a night I'll always remember & it gave me not only a heightened desire to go out more, but a bit more confidence for next time. Whew... I get a rush just thinking about it! :jumping: The tangibility of being out has also made me feel like even more of a true woman than I already did. Can we die from feeling too much blissfulness??

Well anyways, I just received a decent picture from that unforgettable night & couldn't resist sharing! I know my outfit is a lil' too risque' for a Tri-ESS meeting :eek:, but until I get a nice pair of black shoes it's the only combination that can match my white ones. I'm happy with the over-all look, but I think I resemble a deer caught in the headlights. My S/O says she can't see raw fear I was feeling, but I think she's just being kind. So what do you think- do I look as nervous as I felt????

Sugar & Spice,

Veronica

P.S.- You don't really have to answer this- I just had to release some of these endorphins before I exploded!!!

I wish I looked half as good as you do. Also, seeing as how you are attached, and probably a long way away anyway, I won't ask you out.

[trannie T]

The first time out is so frightening but so much fun. I'm glad you had a good time.

[Beth785]

You look fab! I'd say your celebrity look alike would be Sandra Bullock. Your a dead ringer for her!

[Mitch23]

great pics, very natural very smart - you've got 'the look' - well done!

Mitch

[Jillm]

You look wonderful, you should be proud of your outing.

[prabha]

You look allright:happy:

[TxKimberly]

You look wonderful! I like the cat that got the canary look in your eye too!

[DonnaT]

Can't see any nervousness in the pics. I would say I don't see why you would even feel nervous. But I remember my first time out some 30 yrs ago. Although I looked good, I was still nervous. It does get easier.

[stephanie100]

If I were that clarke I probaly would not have asked your number a date maybe Go Girl

[Baley]

WOW! If i looked that good i would be out all the time!!!!. Great job with your make-up,Look very fem.:thumbsup:

[Lora Olivia]

simply marrrrrverous darling lol...oh yeah i do sense a bit of nervousness in the pic...but dear not to worry you got it dowwwwwwwwwwn

[Trinni]

It's obvious why he hit on you, you look great. I only wish I could look that good.

[Cara Allen]

Can we die from feeling too much blissfulness??

God, I hope so!!! What a wonderful story!

One lasting memory I will allways have is having very direct passes from a guy in an elevator... No where to go, either... We talked very briefly, but it made me giddy for a week!

[Sally24]

It's super that your first trip out went so well! Welcome to the outside world!

[Veronica Fallon]

Wow... thank you all so very much!!

I don't know, maybe I'm simply too used to "me" in guy-mode, but I always just see so much maleness in the mirror when I'm dressed. Or maybe it's just plain ole' fear that says, "No way dude, it's obvious you're a guy & everyone is gonna notice & laugh at you... or worse!" Thinking that way makes me more frightened, & I'm sure that my fear only makes it even more obvious. [sigh]

I'm not delusional about being able to pass much of my (future) time out, & although I hope to blend in some, I know it's not even really about passing. It's just about feeling the freedom to experience part of the world as a woman without having to pay too high a price for it. And I'm sure my fears are quite irrationally exaggerated as well. I guess I was more freaked my first time out than I thought I'd be & am now just fretting that I won't get over it. I'm usually pretty brave in life (if you only knew my past!!) but this fear has an altogether different flavor than I've tasted before.

I've thought about it a lot throughout this past week & I know I'll get past it eventually. It will simply take more time & effort than I'd hoped or anticipated. But I've gotta tell you, all your kind comments have truly eased my mind! (that sweet cashier helped a lot too! :winking:) Now when I think of going out again & feel that fear beginning to churn in my tummy, I remind myself of the things you've said & my thoughts return to logic & reason. You all have given me a gift I can carry with me until I find my own level of comfort. :itsok:

Thank you again & bless you!!

Luv,

Veronica

[Val702]

I hope I look that good when I go out later in th comming months. You are totaly feminen. Props, girlfreind!

[Val702]

I totaly need a femme voice. I would love todo some flirting!

[dakota_ann69]

Congrats on your adventure, you look marvelous.

[jennifer ann]

you look really nice, all I can say is WOW!!!!!

[Mollyanne]

Hi girl, OMG, fantastic pics, the camera and the one taking these photos are gr8t!!!! Let those endorfins out, get more pics!!!!!!! BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL!!!



:love: Mollyanne

[Cara Allen]

Wow... thank you all so very much!!


"...but this fear has an altogether different flavor than I've tasted before."

Veronica

I think that is vulnerability, don't you? That is what I feel. It is alien to my other self. Kind of a self preservation thing...

[Kaitlyn Michele]

all i can say veronica is GO GIRL!! keep having fun...and by the way you look great

i love going out and just being "Me" and you can do it anytime you want!! subject to those you care about of course....

take care

[SweetCaroline]

Isn't it great! I'll tell you, my first time out was over a month ago, and I still haven't gotten over the glow. And I know the feeling about getting pictures too. I have about a dozen from my first outing. It's a day I'll cherish for the rest of my life, and it sounds like you will too.

Welcome to the sunlight. :hugs:

[Veronica Fallon]

I think that is vulnerability, don't you? That is what I feel. It is alien to my other self. Kind of a self preservation thing...

You may very well be right Cara.

Long ago (before I knew I was TG) I was in the depths of my worst personal Hell so far in life. My life had crumbled & most everything I'd believed in had dissolved as well. I was always confident before, but now I was totally lost & hundreds of miles from the few people who cared about me. I couldn't eat or sleep for a solid week! I finally broke down & prayed (1st time ever) to the universe for some sort of clue or direction before I squeezed the trigger. I actually received an audible reply of two, individual words. One of them was "vulnerability".

Well, that's a tough one for males in general, & a particularly hard one for me at that time. But I figured my gun would always be there, so I could still follow through later if things didn't change. It was truly terrifying, but I cleared away all my preconceived beliefs of life (over the next year or so) & opened my mind to anything/everything spiritual, philosophical, & scientific in my search for a way to continue in this world. I've since been rewarded ten-fold for my courage & fortitude.

Your response here instantly reminded me of that scary journey & made me wonder if I'm in a similar place now with coming out as TG. I'm already grateful to be both M & F, but I know I will have to face more heavy vulnerability to access it's greater gifts.

You've certainly given me food for thought Cara, & I think also some needed perspective on precisely where I'm currently at with my coming out!

Thank you dear,

Veronica

[Sally2005]

Looking good! There is nothing like the first time out trying the real world and the shaking knees will be less each time. I only remember once or twice in my life looking in the mirror and seeing a female looking back and with the exception of looking at my photos after the emotion has gone I can say that seeing your male self is maybe what drives us to look better...or keeps us indoors.

[Tamera]

Look Good,
I can see why the clerk flirted with you. Nice to have your own hair too, like the way you have it styled.

The Tri-Ess meeting seems to be a "Good Start" for you. Are you goin' to the next one?
Hugs,
Tamera

[Cara Allen]

You look great! And it sounds like it all worked out. Congratulations on taking such a big step. I'm not sure I will ever be able to go out in public.

Way to go!

El

Sure you can. Why not? At least, you can attend a CD meeting, somewhere!
Besides, you have great legs!

[Mitch23]

dont know whether I've said it before - well done and stunning pics

Mitch

[carolinebrookes]

Hi Veronica,
You'd better get used to being hit on girl :heehee: Looking like that you'll be fighting the guys off!.... and the girls!

[bellbettjones]

very nice !!!