My wife asked me to wear a bra to bed

[Randy]

First a little back ground. The only traditionally female item I wear is a bra. My wife found this out three years ago, Her stance was that she wouldn't forbid it, but that she didn't want to see it or have anything to do with it. We had been married 10 years at that point and it wasn't getting in the way, and she didn't want to fight about it.

So you can imagine my surprise when she asked me if I would like to wear a bra to bed with her. Wanting to know why this change of heart had come about, I asked her why.

I didn't do it right away because I wanted to be sure that she really was OK with it. I've read too many stories here about sudden changes of heart and was a little leery. I did it this week, and it was great. I won't get into all the details, but it was worth it. She enjoyed it too, so I just hope that this lasts for a while anyway.

Has this happened to anyone else, and how did you handle it?

[Jennilouise]

when i first met my current SO i didnt tell her about my cding but after about2 months or so, i sent her a text while i was at work that i had something to tell her, which got her worried and she nagged me that much i told her that i am a cd. I was expectted her to say that she didn't want to see me anymore, but what i got back can i see a picture of your dressed. when i got home i e-mailed her a photo which she liked and asked to see me dressed in the flesh which i did (i was very nervous) she said i looked better in the flesh (so to speak). it sounds like that your wife is slowing coming around to the idea that you are a cd which is a good thing in my book as you can get tips on make up and such like. as your wife i slowing coming around to this idea then if i was you i would take my time in introducing her to your feminine side. My SO has got another female friend when i m dressed and we have fun doing girly things like doing are nails etc etc etc.....


From what ihave read from your post and the way i am, i know if your wife asks you again to wear your bra to bed you will!!


I hope this has been some help for you:happy:

[Val702]

My ex was not ready when I opened up to her. She got more comfy and allowed it. She wanted to play with me at first. But she eventualy changed her mind. Go figure. I loved it when she kissed me like a man. Grabed my ass just the right way, and I was wearing a thong under that skirt!

[Jere Oneil]

My wife accepts me wearing skirts and lingerie at home. We don't share the same bedroom due to her sleep problems, so at bed time she goes into her room and puts on shorts and a tee shirt for bed and I head off to mine and don my nightie, sometimes over my bra and panties, or sometimes with just the panties. We are an older couple, so the sex thing isn't as big a deal as it once was, but we do get together once in a while when we are feeling frisky. Then, it's "your room or mine" I usually head for a "session" in just my panties or with a male tee shirt, but on a couple of occasions, my wife has just said "come as you are" meaning bra panties and a nightie. You can never figure out a woman.

[Mitch23]

sounds like a great girl - give her a hug from me. Remember to take little steps and dont let that pink fog take over!

Mitch

[Jillm]

My SO knew about my cding before we go married. Same type of thing, go ahead and do it, just don’t let me see it. Then one Halloween she suggested we go to a costume party with her dressed as a pimp and me as a prostitute. I was so excited for the weeks leading up to the party but I was also scared, I was excited because she was letting me dress up in front of her, but I was scared because she may not like what she sees and want me to stop dressing up. At party time she got into dressing me up, doing makeup and everything. We were a hit at the party. After that she loved dressing me up and still does. It’s at the point that when she wakes up on the weekend, if I don’t have a skirt on, she asks me if I feel ok. Hope that now your past the point of her seeing you that she will be comfortable with you wearing what you like to wear.

[chrissietoo]

When my gf discovered I like wearing bras (and other things) she was hesitant at first. One night we went out, and I had on a bra without forms, and she didn't notice right away, but she did notice that "Chrissie" was very sweet and nice and attentive and cute. In the middle of dinner I told her, and she got pretty blushy and cute herself....

When we got home into bed, she took my bra off pretty quickly....but over time, she came to like me in lingerie very much.

Patience...and little steps.

xoxo chrissie

[Randy]

She was really good about. Just like you Chrissie, she took it off right away and nothing more was said. She still likes to throw the odd jab at me regarding my choice of under-apparrel, but nothing negative about the experience we shared.

That's a victory for me as far as I'm concerned. My big fear was her freaking out and having some kind of bad reaction to it. She has even suggested going bra shopping (for her only at this point) together, so we will see how far this progresses.

Thanks for the replies.

[~Seana~]

My first SO ridiculed me the few times discovered my crossdressing or pieces of female clothing that werent hers. She gave away most of what I had on at least two occasions mostly to her sister without my knowing ( I had some really nice outfits mostly pvc that I miss dearly) . I never appreciated being called a fag or belittled because of it and the lack of respect she showed me drove me very deeply into the closet.

My current SO Tierganshaw has embraced it , and she's largely responsible for what comfort I have with it, even exploring a little of her male side . I stll have many reservations now that result from the 13 years I spent with my Ex and unfortunately I dont know if I'll ever be fully comfortable dressed it has definitely affected me mentally and my quick reaction is almost always to hide my interests rather to share them initially. I dont know if it will ever not affect me.

Amanda,
The happy ****!

[Eugenie]

My wife didn't mind me playing with women underwear when I told her, very early after out wedding. Like yours, she said that it was OK as long as I didn't touch her own underwear. We even had some love sessions where I was wearing a girdle, one of my favorite underwear then...

But when she came to realize that I liked to dress completely as a woman, then she didn't find it funny at all...

After 38 years of marriage this year, she has made some progress in accepting my feminine side, but still doesn't want to see me "en femme"...

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Twyla]

I think sexy underwear is a turn on both for men and women regardless who wears them.
I suppose there are several factors that make women reluctant accepting their partners in such underwear:

1. They see it as un-natural.
2. They are not used to see something like this. (Everybody is uncomfortable with unfamiliar things.)
3. They make you look less like a man (but despite that, you express more sexuality and you are sexier).
4. They see your clothes as "the competition" and that makes them jealous. They want themselves to be your only source of sexual turn on. This is an unrealistic expectation, everybody, CD or not, has lots of sources of sexual turn ons, apart from their SO.

Solutions, IMHO...
She needs time to get used with the ideea. Go slowly. When she doesn't want to see that, don't show it to her.
Watch her mood. She will be more accepting when she is horny.
Avoid behaving in a way showing that clothes can replace her.
You can even go a little theatrical, beeing much nicer to her when you are dressed up. She will notice the difference. She will also associate your clothing with positive experiences.

Does she want a sex party with you wearing a bra ? Make sure it will be a memorable one !

[Kris]

4. They see your clothes as "the competition" and that makes them jealous. They want themselves to be your only source of sexual turn on. This is an unrealistic expectation, everybody, CD or not, has lots of sources of sexual turn ons, apart from their SO.


I have seen several of you ladies say this and I don't understand what on earth you are talking about ....... competition? How could you dressing be competition? Please don't take this the wrong way, I just don't understand. I would appreciate it if ANYONE can explain this to me.

:hugs: Kris

[monikkkka]

Yes, I would agree as well.

A couple of my SO's verbally said it to me as well that it was "their" thing, like I was stealing their thunder kind of thing.

Can't explain it further than that, but it could be just the girls I was dating - low self esteem maybe. at any rate, I don't think you can generalize that statement about competition...some have that feeling, some don't and I always thought it was strange.

[Twyla]

I have seen several of you ladies say this and I don't understand what on earth you are talking about ....... competition? How could you dressing be competition? Please don't take this the wrong way, I just don't understand. I would appreciate it if ANYONE can explain this to me.

:hugs: Kris

1. I'm divorced after 15 years of marriage - CD wasn't a factor in the divorce.
Quote from my ex-wife: "If you are turned on by those clothes is the same as if you are turned on by somebody else not by me. That means that you cheat on me."

2. You spend time with your passion instead of spending that time with her.

3. She will consider any sign of lack of interest toward her as beeing caused by the fact that you already have what you need, your clothes, and you don't need her.

I don't think any of these reasons are valid. If something turns you on sexually, in the end she will be the beneficiary, supposing you don't masturbate.
You spend some time with CD, but almost every man has a time consuming hobby: TV, newspapers, internet&computers, sport events, video games, bars, cars, other women, gambling, fishing, boating or others. I would say that CD is a very benign one because at least it keeps you home, doesn't harm anybody and is not too expensive.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

My first SO ridiculed me the few times discovered my crossdressing or pieces of female clothing that werent hers. She gave away most of what I had on at least two occasions mostly to her sister without my knowing ( I had some really nice outfits mostly pvc that I miss dearly) . I never appreciated being called a fag or belittled because of it and the lack of respect she showed me drove me very deeply into the closet.

My current SO Tierganshaw has embraced it , and she's largely responsible for what comfort I have with it, even exploring a little of her male side . I stll have many reservations now that result from the 13 years I spent with my Ex and unfortunately I dont know if I'll ever be fully comfortable dressed it has definitely affected me mentally and my quick reaction is almost always to hide my interests rather to share them initially. I dont know if it will ever not affect me.

Amanda,
The happy ****!

I am sorry your EX was such a close minded individual. I don't think anything but time will lessen the problems she dumped on you. That your current SO is supportive is a plus for you.


My wife didn't mind me playing with women underwear when I told her, very early after out wedding. Like yours, she said that it was OK as long as I didn't touch her own underwear. We even had some love sessions where I was wearing a girdle, one of my favorite underwear then...

But when she came to realize that I liked to dress completely as a woman, then she didn't find it funny at all...

After 38 years of marriage this year, she has made some progress in accepting my feminine side, but still doesn't want to see me "en femme"...

:hugs:
Eugenie

I think many women have the same problem with 'their' men dressing as other men do. It upsets their sense of who they are. It is worse if YOU look better in her clothes than she does. Other men seem to feel that if YOU look good to them, and they later discover you are not a "real woman", that it makes them gay. In my opinion, that is so much garbage. If they find you attractive en femme, it only means that YOU did a good job of presenting yourself en femme.


1. I'm divorced after 15 years of marriage - CD wasn't a factor in the divorce.
Quote from my ex-wife: "If you are turned on by those clothes is the same as if you are turned on by somebody else not by me. That means that you cheat on me."

2. You spend time with your passion instead of spending that time with her.

3. She will consider any sign of lack of interest toward her as beeing caused by the fact that you already have what you need, your clothes, and you don't need her.

I don't think any of these reasons are valid. If something turns you on sexually, in the end she will be the beneficiary, supposing you don't masturbate.
You spend some time with CD, but almost every man has a time consuming hobby: TV, newspapers, internet&computers, sport events, video games, bars, cars, other women, gambling, fishing, boating or others. I would say that CD is a very benign one because at least it keeps you home, doesn't harm anybody and is not too expensive.

Ya can't get much less narrow minded than that and that is a sad thing. You are you, no matter how you are dressed and she should be the beneficiary of anything that turns you on as long as you take it home to her. As for masturbation, what is the harm there if you do not do it to her exclusion?

Oh well - life goes on.