TxKimberly
08-26-2007, 10:16 AM
A few times in recent posts, people have flitted around the subject of people that have influenced them or been role models. I thought I'd stop dancing around it and hit it square on the head.
There have been people that apparently affected me at just the right time in my "TG Development" if you will. Dee Dee Crossmore was the first I think. It was about 1995 I think and I had just gotten out of the Army and started my first adult civilian job. My company was starting a new service and repair center in Austin and I was the sole component of it. So much to do trying to get it off the ground that I was often working VERY late or VERY early (3AM) and had the entire facility to myself. It was then that I started playing with the Internet through a slow modem - something 100% new to me. I stumbled on to Dee Dee Crossmore who was living in Alaska and telling stories of how she was going out and living in the sunshine and talking to people - just being alive! I remember my heart pounding at the thought and thinking "I WANT TO DO THAT!"
Thank you Dee Dee Crossmore (http://members.tgforum.com/Crossmore/ddc_bio13.htm) - thank you for showing me that we CAN be out in the world AND it can be done with class and style!
Eventually I learned there were more people like me in Austin and that there were safe places to go. I found out about a place called 'Bout Time in Austin where TG's were very welcome and I tried SO hard to get the courage up to go and check it out. I drove there probably half a dozen times and parked outside but just couldn't get up the courage to go in, even in boy mode to check it out.
The next person that was a major influence, I met in a chat room/forum much like this one, but it was on AOL and called the Gazebo (Spelling?)
What I liked most about the Gazebo, is that there were "normal" people there. TG's that talked of life, of their hopes, fears, triumphs, etc. It was not a pick up place, there was cyber nothing there other than honest friendship. Through this place I met a TG lady named Donna who lived a couple of hours south of me. At the time I thought of her as "older" (she was probably about the age I am now! lol). We chatted for months and became friends, or as close as you can get to someone you have never met face to face. Eventually it was decided that along with another Tgirl she knew, she would meet my wife and I for our first outting with me as Kim! She was a wonderful person - confident, proud to be TG, and it was important to her that she represent us well and with dignity. The night was just like a Cinderella story - I had so much fun. It was as if I had been holding my breath all of my life and not even known it until that night when I finally was allowed to inhale and fill my lungs. Unfortunately Donna died several years ago of cancer. Even though you probably didn't know her, trust me when I tell you that our community lost a fine individual there.
Thank you Donna - thank you for showing me that we can be proud to be TG and that your average TG is a kind and decent human being.
After this, I went out to 'Bout Time in Austin on a fairly regular basis and I got to know a lot of the TGirls there. One of them was Bobbie Williams. Bobbie was probably in her late 50's or early 60's, had a PHD (in what I don't know) and was the funnest and funniest person I have ever known. She has several books published, among them one called "Bobbie and Me" that you may have heard of. (I looked for it on-line to provide a link but couldn't find it) Anytime you hung out with Bobbie you went home with your face hurting because you had spent the evening grinning like an idiot and laughing. She was so much fun to hang out with. I always thought that if I were to try and introduce my mother, friends, or family to "the TG community", Bobbie would be the person I would want them to meet first. Bobbie has since moved to New York where I have long since lost touch. I'm sure she is holding court there somewhere now with a lot of people sitting around her with sore faces from smiling so much.
Thanks Bobbie - thanks for showing me that TG's can be intelligent and have a sense of humor.
One of the nights my wife went out with me, some drag queen (and yes I MEANT this to sound derogatory) decided to tweak my wife's rear end when she walked by. This completely freaked my wife out and she has never gone out with me since. I don't think this was 100% of her reason, don't get me wrong. I'm sure part of it is just boredom on her part. For us, we are happy and thrilled to be out and pretty, but for her, she was just sitting in a smokey old bar. It seemed that anytime I mentioned going out, my wife would get sullen and angry. I would plan to go out a week in advance and she would be fine and smile, but when THE night came around she would be Angry and maybe even a little mean about it. Add to that the fact that we had a baby and it boils down to I didn't go out much - in fact went about three years without going out at all.
Then I found crosdressers.com . . . then I found Karen Hutton (http://360.yahoo.com/profile-DfuDOdc6erRMQiaEDY9CO6XIBh0-?cq=1) . . . lol
I guess I had had some sort of a blind spot in my thinking - it had never occurred to me that I could take advantage of my constant trips for work to get out. It had simply never crossed my mind to take advantage of this. I started reading Karen's posts of how she would take advantage of her business trips to go out and I had that "Duh" moment where you slap yourself on the side of the head and tell yourself "Self, YOU are an idiot!"
So thanks Karen Hutton (http://360.yahoo.com/profile-DfuDOdc6erRMQiaEDY9CO6XIBh0-?cq=1), thanks for showing me that I should take the opportunities I was being presented with. You also showed us all that you can be out in the world, and that you can do it with a good attitude and with humor, but I hadn't quite got that message yet. Read on if your still awake.
Now having learned part of Karen's message, I was dragging (pardon the pun) a HUGE suitcase with me along with my tool box when I traveled for a service call. It takes a lot of baggage to have enough boy clothes for a week, enough girl clothes for a week, and the tools needed to do my job. I'm probably building more muscles dragging these two 50 pound bags on and off of shuttle buses and through airports than most people do lifting weights. Every where I go I search out TSisters and the TG friendly spots and I'm having a ball. I'm getting the chance to dress again with out the guilt of knowing I'm making my wife miserable. In fact she told me herself that she likes the arrangement. I'm happy, we don't have to worry about my daughter or my neighbors seeing me - it's a win win. The bad news is, "TG Friendly" usually equates to "Gay" bar, so more or less I'm spending my nights in smoke filled bars, and this is not good.
Then along comes Glenda (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=33133)
I was in Detroit and had contacted Glenda. I suggested we meet at a club I had found on-line and Glenda very quickly said "No". lol It seems she was familiar with the area and the club and knew it to be a place that was less than desirable. Instead she thought we should meet in the lounge of a very nice hotel and we did! We were treated like ladies - with decency and respect and with a smile. It was SOOO cool! We were sitting in a nice and quiet environment, where we could talk and chat and just exist. You know - just like "normal" people! :-) Glenda was so confident, relaxed, and just 100% classy the whole way.
So thanks Glenda (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=33133), thanks for showing me that if you act like a lady, you will be treated like a lady. Thanks for reinforcing the messages that others like Karen were showing with their example, that you don't have to exist only in smoke filled bars, you can get out in the world.
There have been many others who have been a good influence as well, but this is already the size of a novel so I better just say "Thanks". Thanks to all of you who try to show that most TG's are good and decent people, Husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, people that will help others when needed, people that want to see the world be a better place, people you would be proud to know.
There have been people that apparently affected me at just the right time in my "TG Development" if you will. Dee Dee Crossmore was the first I think. It was about 1995 I think and I had just gotten out of the Army and started my first adult civilian job. My company was starting a new service and repair center in Austin and I was the sole component of it. So much to do trying to get it off the ground that I was often working VERY late or VERY early (3AM) and had the entire facility to myself. It was then that I started playing with the Internet through a slow modem - something 100% new to me. I stumbled on to Dee Dee Crossmore who was living in Alaska and telling stories of how she was going out and living in the sunshine and talking to people - just being alive! I remember my heart pounding at the thought and thinking "I WANT TO DO THAT!"
Thank you Dee Dee Crossmore (http://members.tgforum.com/Crossmore/ddc_bio13.htm) - thank you for showing me that we CAN be out in the world AND it can be done with class and style!
Eventually I learned there were more people like me in Austin and that there were safe places to go. I found out about a place called 'Bout Time in Austin where TG's were very welcome and I tried SO hard to get the courage up to go and check it out. I drove there probably half a dozen times and parked outside but just couldn't get up the courage to go in, even in boy mode to check it out.
The next person that was a major influence, I met in a chat room/forum much like this one, but it was on AOL and called the Gazebo (Spelling?)
What I liked most about the Gazebo, is that there were "normal" people there. TG's that talked of life, of their hopes, fears, triumphs, etc. It was not a pick up place, there was cyber nothing there other than honest friendship. Through this place I met a TG lady named Donna who lived a couple of hours south of me. At the time I thought of her as "older" (she was probably about the age I am now! lol). We chatted for months and became friends, or as close as you can get to someone you have never met face to face. Eventually it was decided that along with another Tgirl she knew, she would meet my wife and I for our first outting with me as Kim! She was a wonderful person - confident, proud to be TG, and it was important to her that she represent us well and with dignity. The night was just like a Cinderella story - I had so much fun. It was as if I had been holding my breath all of my life and not even known it until that night when I finally was allowed to inhale and fill my lungs. Unfortunately Donna died several years ago of cancer. Even though you probably didn't know her, trust me when I tell you that our community lost a fine individual there.
Thank you Donna - thank you for showing me that we can be proud to be TG and that your average TG is a kind and decent human being.
After this, I went out to 'Bout Time in Austin on a fairly regular basis and I got to know a lot of the TGirls there. One of them was Bobbie Williams. Bobbie was probably in her late 50's or early 60's, had a PHD (in what I don't know) and was the funnest and funniest person I have ever known. She has several books published, among them one called "Bobbie and Me" that you may have heard of. (I looked for it on-line to provide a link but couldn't find it) Anytime you hung out with Bobbie you went home with your face hurting because you had spent the evening grinning like an idiot and laughing. She was so much fun to hang out with. I always thought that if I were to try and introduce my mother, friends, or family to "the TG community", Bobbie would be the person I would want them to meet first. Bobbie has since moved to New York where I have long since lost touch. I'm sure she is holding court there somewhere now with a lot of people sitting around her with sore faces from smiling so much.
Thanks Bobbie - thanks for showing me that TG's can be intelligent and have a sense of humor.
One of the nights my wife went out with me, some drag queen (and yes I MEANT this to sound derogatory) decided to tweak my wife's rear end when she walked by. This completely freaked my wife out and she has never gone out with me since. I don't think this was 100% of her reason, don't get me wrong. I'm sure part of it is just boredom on her part. For us, we are happy and thrilled to be out and pretty, but for her, she was just sitting in a smokey old bar. It seemed that anytime I mentioned going out, my wife would get sullen and angry. I would plan to go out a week in advance and she would be fine and smile, but when THE night came around she would be Angry and maybe even a little mean about it. Add to that the fact that we had a baby and it boils down to I didn't go out much - in fact went about three years without going out at all.
Then I found crosdressers.com . . . then I found Karen Hutton (http://360.yahoo.com/profile-DfuDOdc6erRMQiaEDY9CO6XIBh0-?cq=1) . . . lol
I guess I had had some sort of a blind spot in my thinking - it had never occurred to me that I could take advantage of my constant trips for work to get out. It had simply never crossed my mind to take advantage of this. I started reading Karen's posts of how she would take advantage of her business trips to go out and I had that "Duh" moment where you slap yourself on the side of the head and tell yourself "Self, YOU are an idiot!"
So thanks Karen Hutton (http://360.yahoo.com/profile-DfuDOdc6erRMQiaEDY9CO6XIBh0-?cq=1), thanks for showing me that I should take the opportunities I was being presented with. You also showed us all that you can be out in the world, and that you can do it with a good attitude and with humor, but I hadn't quite got that message yet. Read on if your still awake.
Now having learned part of Karen's message, I was dragging (pardon the pun) a HUGE suitcase with me along with my tool box when I traveled for a service call. It takes a lot of baggage to have enough boy clothes for a week, enough girl clothes for a week, and the tools needed to do my job. I'm probably building more muscles dragging these two 50 pound bags on and off of shuttle buses and through airports than most people do lifting weights. Every where I go I search out TSisters and the TG friendly spots and I'm having a ball. I'm getting the chance to dress again with out the guilt of knowing I'm making my wife miserable. In fact she told me herself that she likes the arrangement. I'm happy, we don't have to worry about my daughter or my neighbors seeing me - it's a win win. The bad news is, "TG Friendly" usually equates to "Gay" bar, so more or less I'm spending my nights in smoke filled bars, and this is not good.
Then along comes Glenda (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=33133)
I was in Detroit and had contacted Glenda. I suggested we meet at a club I had found on-line and Glenda very quickly said "No". lol It seems she was familiar with the area and the club and knew it to be a place that was less than desirable. Instead she thought we should meet in the lounge of a very nice hotel and we did! We were treated like ladies - with decency and respect and with a smile. It was SOOO cool! We were sitting in a nice and quiet environment, where we could talk and chat and just exist. You know - just like "normal" people! :-) Glenda was so confident, relaxed, and just 100% classy the whole way.
So thanks Glenda (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=33133), thanks for showing me that if you act like a lady, you will be treated like a lady. Thanks for reinforcing the messages that others like Karen were showing with their example, that you don't have to exist only in smoke filled bars, you can get out in the world.
There have been many others who have been a good influence as well, but this is already the size of a novel so I better just say "Thanks". Thanks to all of you who try to show that most TG's are good and decent people, Husbands and wives, fathers and mothers, people that will help others when needed, people that want to see the world be a better place, people you would be proud to know.