FTM Question - Where does it come from?

[GypsyKaren]

I'm talking about the guts to do what you do, to live your lives in the world as you truly are, opinions be damned. Mine comes from the fact that I don't give a rat's ass about what others think about little old me, plus I was at the end of my rope and it was either sink or swim...how's about you guys?

Karen Starlene

[CaptLex]

Same here, Karen . . . sink or swim, do or die, now or never - time's a-wasting! To paraphrase an old expression: "those that love us, wish us well . . . those that don't, can go to . . . " (well, you know, that dreaded hot place). I know some people would consider that a selfish attitude, but for me the bottom line is that those that really love us, want our happiness. :happy:

[Kieron Andrew]

Lex said exactly the way i see it.........

[mistunderstood]

Well its partly bravery another part for me is a little stupidity and a very thick skin. I am only 36 years old but I have been dressing out in public for about 18 years.

[Cai]

Ditto what Karen and Lex said. I have my friends, who I've discovered won't desert me, and beyond that I really don't care what people think.

[ZenFrost]

I think you got it right on, it's sink or swim. I don't feel I had any choice in this, it's just me... and it doesn't matter what other people think.

[Adam]

its not guts its just me liveing my life :D im less stressed less tense than i ever been to me it would have took more guts and strengh not to transtion

[Taylor105]

Same here, Karen . . . sink or swim, do or die, now or never - time's a-wasting! To paraphrase an old expression: "those that love us, wish us well . . . those that don't, can go to . . . " (well, you know, that dreaded hot place). I know some people would consider that a selfish attitude, but for me the bottom line is that those that really love us, want our happiness. :happy:

I could not have said this better myself. ;)

[privateperks]

Well, basically I just stopped giving a rip about what morons think. I get one go around and I'm going to do what I like with it and so long as I don't hurt anybody then it aint anybody's business.

[DanielMacBride]

Yeah. For me it comes down to, do I live my life as ME, or do I just kinda keep wandering aimlessly around being what everyone else expects me to be? I couldn't do it any more - I had to be honest with myself and just BE, and I know that if I hadn't done it, I would have suffocated being the girl that everyone thought I ought to be.

"For those who love me, no explanation is necessary. For those who don't, none is possible."

Daniel

[GypsyKaren]

You know, on one hand it does take a lot of guts to do it, but on the other hand it really doesn't. I mean, why should it take that just to be yourself? It should just take being natural is all, at least that's how I see it.

Oh yeah, you guys totally rock!

Karen Starlene

[DanielMacBride]

With respect, Karen, for some of us it's not that easy...I can't speak for the other boys but in my own case it has cost me my children and almost everything in my life to be who I am, and that was a huge call. I have been pretty much vilified for being who I am my whole life, and when you're a shy kid trying to fit in and be accepted, that's devastating (particularly when your own family is the biggest perpetrator of abuse and ridicule).

So yeah, for some of us it has taken a s**tload of courage to get here - I'm only newly "out" so to speak but not by any means to everyone - its only my therapist and the 2 kids who live with me who REALLY know why I have short hair now and wear men's clothes. I am still struggling with how to come out fully without having all manner of vilification and more isolation heaped on me (although right now I'm probably as isolated as it gets - only have 1 friend IRL who knows about this and has chosen to remain friends, never had many friends before now and absolutely NO family support my whole life).

I can hear my father even now as I am writing this - his exact words would be "you are an absolute PARIAH, always have been and you always will be and you will never amount to ANYTHING. NOBODY wants you because you are such a FREAK." ANd there would probably be something along the lines of "you were nothing as a girl, what makes you think you will amount to anything as a man?" :(

Daniel (having a very bad couple of weeks)

[ZenFrost]

I gotta agree with Daniel on this, while I can't say I know what it's like to have kids I do know how incredibly hard it can be because of and a non-accepting family. Just being myself is probably the hardest thing I've ever done.

[GypsyKaren]

Daniel, it saddens me so to hear that, but it's the exact thing I always heard from my father about everything else about me...it's just a shame for sure.

Karen Starlene

[Abraxas]

I'm kind of the odd one out, I think, since I started expressing my masculinity, as it were, from the age of about 9 or 10. At some point, I thought about it and realised that if I did happen to want to go back to being girly (which I never have and can't imagine I ever will), it would've taken a lot more guts to do that than what I'm doing now. So, this works for me either way.

[JamesAlan]

I've only come out to my girlfriend and one friend so far (since this is something I've only recently come to terms with myself). I had talked to my mom a week ago about expressing my masuclinity more (male fragrances mostly). Personally, I want to tell my mom really bad, but can't yet. When I had told my mother about my girlfriend wanting to transition, she told me that it would absolutely devestate her if I wanted to be a boy. My grandfather (her father) is dying of cancer, I can't tell her, but want her support. I know my friends will be by my side through it all, but I don't know about my family.

[Felix]

Well it's cos that's how I feel comfortable and it helps when the person ya love tells ya it's the best ya ever looked!!! xx Felix :hugs:

[happyfish]

Because I tried to not be myself and it drove me crazy. Eventually you have to realize you're spending too much time being afraid of what other people think to do what you need to do to be happy with yourself.

[Dasein9]

Because the alternative was to die.

The morons who hate me can't die my death for me, so why should I let them live my life for me?

[Cai]

Because the alternative was to die.

The morons who hate me can't die my death for me, so why should I let them live my life for me?

^^ Yeah, that too.

[Tobie]

My partners all know, friends that I trust and I know accept me as I am. My family already knows I'm kinked, but I tend to keep it more androgenous than male when around them. I can empathize with Daniel because of my own children. The youngest is my s/o's, but my oldest is another man. There's a HUGE background there that I can't bear to think about, and although I strongly encourage our son's relationship with his father.. it's not something I want him to be made aware of for many years. So I have to be careful.

[SirTrey]

Daniel, it saddens me so to hear that, but it's the exact thing I always heard from my father about everything else about me...it's just a shame for sure.

Karen Starlene

Hi Karen and Daniel....Funny thing about MY father is that he is still alive and doesn't even KNOW that his daughter is a dude....because he hasn't bothered to pick up a phone and call Me for years....Not even to check on his grandchildren....In fact, he doesn't even know that he has a GREAT-grandchild (unless he heard it someone, I have no idea)....and he lives in the same town that I do.....Go figure.....?? **Trey**

[Ryan]

For me it was survival...I just couldn't go on to try and live as female. I never wore female things for a long time really, and was only forced too when i was a kid etc for wedding sand stuff! I will be so much happier when I get my chest done, and my T starts o work its magic a little more :D