Question about aging transexuals

[marie rose]

Hi all; I've been a member since Feb. 06 so it's probably time to introduce myself. For starters I've felt I should be female since pre puberty days which is now more than 50 years ago. Who says time doesn't fly. In those days (early 1950's):heehee: anyone with the "condition" was pretty much on their own so I was deep in the closet for several decades and didn't understand why I felt as I did. During this time I married and had children and tried to live a life as a normal male as much as possible. I imagine I would have stayed in the closet if my dysphoria hadn't gotten more intense as I reached my golden years. After retiring the genie got out of the bottle so to speak and the yearning and longing to be female became so unbearable that I couldn't cope on my own any longer so came clean to my wife of over 40 years out of necessity. I was very nervous about how she would react to this news out of the blue but gave her as much information as I could and let her digest it over time on her terms. I must be a very lucky gurl because she came through like a trooper once she realized this was serious and that I was in a lot of distress and needed support and understanding which she has provided in spades.

While I struggled with TSism over the years I had this misconception that as I got older the urges would become less powerful similar to one's eyesight becoming weaker etc. Believe me folks it don't work that way and I would like to know why that is. Does anyone have information on the reasons for this conundrum. Anyway I now understand why some 60 and 70 year old transexuals opt for SRS although I don't wish to go down that road.

[Kimberley]

Hi Marie,
I am not so sure that it becomes a greater need so much as the recognition that we can do something about it. I also wonder about the need to finally come out and end the deception we all have to live. It just weighs on us increasingly with time.

So is it really increased dysphoria or a need to finally "come clean"?

My last comment is age related in that as we grow older we realize the little or shortened time we have to truly be ourselves.

Just some of my musings... I do that a lot.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[GypsyKaren]

Hi Marie

I'm no expert for sure, but I don't see why things should change just because of age. It's who you are, to me it'd be like getting less right or left handed over the years, and that's not gonna happen. I'm pushing 55 and having GRS in 2 months, it's never to late to be free.

Karen Starlene

[Maggie Kay]

I think that the pressure you are feeling is the inside woman demanding to be free. Repressing one's true identity is hard work and eventually what is on the inside comes to the outside. I think that is why we also see some older people's faces showing inner feelings in a permanent scowl or smile. Sour angry mean people eventually have those negative emotions carved on their face, yet peaceful happy and relaxed people have laugh lines. It is also true that at mid life, we don't have to pretend for peers like we did when we were young. I mean who really cares what we do at this age? We are dismissed by the youth now, just like we did when we were in our prime. So remove the social barriers and out pops our real selves...

[Stephenie S]

I am not sure if it really does get "stronger" as we age. I, for one, have felt this way all my life. It's just that I can now see the end of my life ahead of me. I now know that I don't have forever to deal with this. I have the here and now. And I also have the realization that it ain't gonna happen by itself. If something is actually going to happen, then I am going to have to do it myself. This is perhaps "maturity" creeping up on me. The knowledge that I have to take responsibility for myself. That I have to make things happen if they are going to happen at all.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Maggie Kay]

There are those two classes of Transexuals, the primary and secondary. The difference is that the secondary develops later in life ( most often in mid life) and the primary ones always knew. I think I was primary that got repressed for most of my adult life and now am feeling more and more that I need to live as the female that I am.

[Calliope]

I read somewhere that testosterone production drops in middle age, so for MtFs there's an obvious factor.

[casper]

i am feling the same way i my self iam 61 trying to come out

[marie rose]

Thank you all for your input. As Kimberley mentioned I think it may be the alarm on my internal clock going off to warn me time is running out. I also think when I was working and helping to raise a family days were full and I was always busy and there were many distractions so it was somewhat easier to supress my inner feelings. Now that I've retired I have more free time and it's become impossible to continue repressing the true me and I believe that probably is a good thing. Anyway my wife has told me I look much younger and happier and less anxious since my coming out. We've spent hours talking about the future and although one part of me would love to proceed full speed ahead because I am running out of time another part of me is reluctant because of our children and grandchildren. So we have decided to compromise. Like they say half a loaf is better than none.