gahh! Freaking out...

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

So... until about five this afternoon, I was decently closeted about the whole TG thing... but now I'm freaking out b/c I think I'm about to be outed to some people I REALLY was hoping not to be out to until I've figured out more of who I am. Most of it was my fault (I'll admit it) but now I'm sitting here like a nervous rat, waiting for the s*** to hit the fan. Basically what's happened is that now that I'm at college, I've started to CD on a daily basis and have introduced myself to lots and lots of new people as a very masculine girl, by the name of RJ. However, there are lots of people who knew me only in my feminine form and several of them also go to my college. So when they meet each other, I kind of run into problems. I've tried to smooth things over by explaining the name change away (my femme name is basically a Jane Doe sort where every other girl also has that name) by wanting to have a less common name, but there are several LGB (mostly G) people who were not very happy to find out about this... since they think they can "see where this is going..." The big snafu was tonight at the GLBTAU meeting. I introduced myself as R------, but preferably RJ, (b/c of the commonness of my other name) and when I said it, three of my so-called G friends flinched and kind of glared at me... the worst part is that two of them are part of the same LGBT scholarship as me, and I'm worried that they're going to tell the guy sponsoring it. He's not (from what I hear) a huge fan of T peoples and only recently (and reluctantly) included us in his scholarship. :eek: :witsend: I'm basically just waiting for the ax to fall and trying my best not to freak out. I knew coming out as trans wasn't going to be an easy road; on the other hand, I was hoping it would wait until I was more sure of who (and what) I was. Any advice???

~RJ a.k.a. "soon to need my mail forwarded to the doghouse"

[privateperks]

Stand your ground. Don't be bullied by anyone, and certainly not a guy whose supposed to be in charge of an *inclusive* scholarship. Your real friends will get it over it.

[Abraxas]

I agree with Perks. Don't let yourself get pushed around-- if the guy takes away your scholarship, or does something equally numbskulled, you can threaten to file (or actually file) a discrimination suit, or at least talk to someone in charge. The head honcho type person.
As for your friends and others-- it's none of their business what you're called or why you prefer one name over the other. They can deal with it-- they have to. It's your life, not theirs.
It really sucks that so many LGBs can be so horrid to us trans folks.

[Felix]

Here here I agree with the guys on this one :hugs: xx Felix

[Cai]

Legally, I don't think your scholarship can get pulled, if trans people are included in the recipients.

I've been toying with the idea of coming out to the GSA/LGBT club here, but everything I hear like this scares me. I think I'll talk to my friend who's in it and ask her what she thinks their opinion would be.

[John]

What they all said. Don't stand for it.


I've been toying with the idea of coming out to the GSA/LGBT club here, but everything I hear like this scares me. I think I'll talk to my friend who's in it and ask her what she thinks their opinion would be.

Well, mine was fine, it that helps.

[CaptLex]

It's nice to be liked and accepted by schoolmates and friends, but you can't please everybody so in the end you should be yourself and your real friends will find you. People take their cues from us, Gutherie. If we act like "this is who I am, and if you don't like it, I don't want to hear about it" we get more respect and acceptance than if we act like we have something to apologize for. Just my :2c:, hun. :hugs:

[bi_weird]

Man, that sucks a lot. *hug* Hope things turn out well for ya. If people give you shit, remind them that we're all in this together. It's why I've started saying I'm queer, not bi and trans, because it's all one big happy disfunctional family. How 'bout a brownie to cheer you up? Rainbow sprinkles in this batch.

[caderemington]

My advice: don't listen to rich, if he's got a problem with it, go talk to Ryan and he will hook you up with a Lamda rep. If not, I'll go kick his a**

[JamesAlan]

Don't get bullied bro. There are people you can talk to that will help you out. Don't let it get you down. Be yourself, that's the important thing. It's taken me 25 yrs to figure that out. Be good to yourself bro, the rest will work out in time.

[Syr_SwitchyGQ]

Thanks guys... yeah... I'm going to talk to a few people first, and then I'm just going to schedule a private chat with my scholarship guy and tell him so that he doesn't hear it from someone else first. I doubt he'll try to pull anything crap, but there'll be less of a chance if I have a civilized conference with him about it before he hears it via the rumor mill. Either way, I'm going to follow your advice as best I can, because really, what else can I do???

[ZenFrost]

I don't know how I managed to miss this thread, and it seems I'm a bit late to offer advice. So I'll just ditto what the other guys said, be brave and don't back down. 'Cause that's usually the best course of action anyway.