Telling my SO

[optyks]

How am i to go about telling my SO of my slight crossdressing habits? Its come up once before, and we talked briefly about it for a couple minutes, but it was soon dropped from conversation and she hasnt mentioned it or acted any different since. I want to be able to be open enough with her that i can dress in certain items around her, but im not sure how im supposed to go about finding out whether shes OK with it or not..

Thanks!

[Diane1950]

If you go to crossdressers-forum.com and click on "Do You Know How I Feel", there is a great article entitled "How To Tell Your Wife--A Manual of Love".
It helped me a lot. Good luck and let us all know how things are going.

[Darlene-VA]

I just read that post there is some great info there, thanks

[Angie G]

Talk to her bring up the subjeck again and ask what she thinks of crossdressing ask that she would think of you if you dressed she just may be OK with it, if not I don't know what to tell you hun :hugs:
Angie

[Desiree2bababe]

Even if she expressing interest, she may not like you doing it. I married mine and she had the knowledge beforehand and even participated but once she knew how addicted I was, she went the other way.

Good luck.

[Sally2005]

I'm not sure if it will work out, but my plan is to use the upcoming holloween season as an ice breaker. We have dressed in the past for parties, but I want to try the whole nine yards to see how passable I can be to her. Then we can talk about it and if it doesn't go well, it was just an experiment.

[Stephenie S]

How am i to go about telling my SO of my slight crossdressing habits? Its come up once before, and we talked briefly about it for a couple minutes, but it was soon dropped from conversation and she hasnt mentioned it or acted any different since. I want to be able to be open enough with her that i can dress in certain items around her, but im not sure how im supposed to go about finding out whether shes OK with it or not..

Thanks!

It ain't gonna happen. She's not going to act any different or mention it herself because . . . listen carefully . . . she doesn't have a clue that you are waiting for her to take the lead here.

Honey, YOU have to do it. YOU are the one who is into CDing, not her. YOU have to bring it up. And you have to bring it up clearly. You can't "hint around" and expect her to get it. She's not into it. She's not thinking about it. It's not part of her world at all. YOU have to come right out and talk about it with her. She may not like it, but she will respect your honesty. And you will know just where you stand, instead of this wondering that you are experiencing now.

"Hinting" is a really inefficient method of communication. It leads to all sorts of misunderstandings. Come right out and say it, dear. You will be SOOOOO glad you did.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[optyks]

Yeah, thats a good point, Steph. Thanks everyone for feedback, means a lot to me!

Im just not sure she's the kind of girl who'd be... understanding/interested. Im afraid she'll be weirded out by it, and then I''m not sure what would happen from there.

However, should it work, it would be cool. As I was talking in one of my other posts, one of my ex's was really open, and i got into it with her (shopping around for lingerie, etc.) and i even transformed her from not wearing any underwear to having to wear underwear... I got her as addicted as i am!

Also, when i was talking to her about it the one time, she did actually question as to why i stopped doing it. I told her simply that i wasn't sure how she'd react. She didnt really say much after

[Veronica Fallon]

Please dear, don't lose sight of the fact that if crossdressing is significantly important to you at all, you owe it to her, yourself, & to both of you as a couple, to be honest about it. [Secrets are unhealthy for relationships!] You just have to weigh that against the real possibility of losing her. Also, if you do tell her, be sure to have documented facts about crossdressing handy to answer her inevitable questions, as well as references to direct her towards for her own research! Good luck & please let us know what you decide & how it goes.
We're cheering for you!! :cheer:

Hopeful Hugz,

Veronica

[robp]

Hi Optyks... I haven't told my SO the degree of my cd'ing, and I respect and subscribe to everyone's advice here that she has a right to know. It is just hard to get over that hump - The fear of losing her is heavy... and it's equal whichever way you go. Tell her, you might lose her, don't tell her you might lose her.

I have been dipping my toe in the water for years. I wear womens sandals, almost exclusively. Whenever I bring home a new pair, she will comment one of three ways, "those are nice", "get rid of those", "well ok, but..."

I also get away with shaved legs and arms - not sure how that happened, but I do remember doing it in stages. Starting with a really bad shave, then cleaning it up over time.

Sometimes I think she has to have an idea of it the back of her mind. If she does, it's still the same problem, it just wont be as much of a surprise.

I have no advice, and in fact, am right there with you on the needing it side.

Robi

[Veronica Fallon]

I truly wish there was an easy answer to this, but there really isn't in most cases. No pain, no gain. But in a recent (unofficial) poll here, there were a very surprising number of accepting (in varying degrees) & even supportive S/O's amongst our members. So the odds seem at least fair that you might be one of us lucky ones. I'll keep my (pink-nailed) fingers crossed for you!!

With Hope,

Veronica

[optyks]

Well, we were talking on the phone tonight (we are in an unfortunate situation, living some 400 miles apart... There isn't anything we can do for the next year or so about this situation either. I'll just drop the hint that she/I might be younger than my typing appears to be!) and somehow it came up and we got talking about it and Lo and behold! she's ok with it! She says that it just adds to the uniqueness that she loves about me.

Hooray!:cheer:

[NovaScotia]

If you go to crossdressers-forum.com and click on "Do You Know How I Feel", there is a great article entitled "How To Tell Your Wife--A Manual of Love".
It helped me a lot. Good luck and let us all know how things are going.

I can't find "do you know how I feel". How do I get there? I could use the same kind of help