Drag vs. Crossdressing

[Danigyrl29]

I have discovered that I am very unsatisfied with my look overall. I tend to look mannish and cannot reach a place where I feel that I look good. I have been pondering if I should forget the ideal of "passing". I want to look good, but cannot be pleased by what's in the mirror.

I have been pondering if I get real "campy" and try a more drag style of dressing if I couldn't get more outlandish and maybe pull off a look that is more acceptable to me.

My question is if there is a true difference between crossdressing and being a "drag queen". Are all drag queens gay, or are some just very outgoing, karaoke singing, big wig wearing crossdressers?

I think it could be very fun and liberating to be out and having fun. Doesn't it seem that if you are in "drag" it is not as unacceptable?

[Deborah Jane]

Try the Drag Queen look and see how it feels! If you are happy with it, go for it!!

[KandisTX]

There are a number of trains of thought on this. Mine is as follows;

Most Drag Queens *those that I personally know* are gay, and their costumes are more outlandish and for shock value or because of the show the are "in".

Most Crossdressers *that I know and have met* are heterosexual males that when dressing attempt to pass as women.

Now, many of us never feel as if we can "pass", and for some of us that is probably right, that should NOT stop us from trying to do so, EVER. We have as much right to be out and about in public as we desire, dressed as we want, the unfortunate part is that society has placed such a stigma against crossdressing and the like that it is often hard to find an accepting group or place to go.

Kandis:love:

[Cara Allen]

I have discovered that I am very unsatisfied with my look overall. I tend to look mannish and cannot reach a place where I feel that I look good.


I know that you are after Drag Queen Information. However, Do you have this from a relaible source? Want to post a pic? Maybe we can help?

I was talking this over with someone, too. There is a distinct difference between passing and being drop-dead georgeous. I have never seen a TG who could not 1) pass OR 2) be georgeous. It is possible to be georgeous and not pass (many DQ's do this, and it is possible to pass, but not be georgeous. Most of us want both, but would settle for passing just fine. Being older, I am moving to this stage two.

Sometimes, all that you need is a professional makeover. Tell her what you want.

Another thing is that often, things like stray eyebrows ( or worse, the singular,) heavy beard shadow, strong jawline, big nose can get in the way of passing. Believe me, that there are ways to fix all of that with makeup, or at least draw attention away from it by accentuating stronger aspects of yourself.

Don't get depressed. I used to make up girls, I knoiw

[KandisTX]

I was talking this over with someone, too. There is a distinct difference between passing and being drop-dead georgeous. I have never seen a TG who could not 1) pass OR 2) be georgeous. It is possible to be georgeous and not pass (many DQ's do this, and it is possible to pass, but not be georgeous. Most of us want both, but would settle for passing just fine.

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFULLY PUT Cara Allen. We want both, but would settle for one or the other ;) I can be gorgeous and not pass, or I could pass but not be gorgeous. ;) (One day I'll post pics and show what I mean about myself on these two aspects).

Kandis:love:

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Dani,

In addition to the excellent advice given so far remember that we never see ourselves as others see us. It's all too easy to focus on individual aspects of`our appearance and convince ourselves that we'd never pass. Perhaps you should post a few photos and get some honest, impartial feedback.

As for the drag queen look, why not try it out on Halloween?

[MsJanessa]

ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFULLY PUT Cara Allen. We want both, but would settle for one or the other ;) I can be gorgeous and not pass, or I could pass but not be gorgeous. ;) (One day I'll post pics and show what I mean about myself on these two aspects).

Kandis:love:

I don't know how many times Ive said it----the more sexy, glamorous and better dressed you are===ie the better you look, the less likly you will be to pass because every one will be looking at you---the t-girls who pass most successfully are those who draw the least attention to themselves

[Ruth]

This is true. I can pass as a not-very-attractive middle-aged woman. But if I try to glamorize myself I look like a guy in a frock. Strange isn't it.
I've given up on trying to work it out.

[Kate Simmons]

I just plain don't worry about it Dani. I don't dress to impress anyone, I just do it do go out and have some fun enjoying myself. A lot of my gay friends are DQ's and usually when they see me they say:"I hate you". Not because I look that great really but because I enjoy it. They usually cannot wait to get the "junk"(as they call it) off after the show is over.:happy:

[Stephenie S]

I don't know how many times Ive said it----the more sexy, glamorous and better dressed you are===ie the better you look, the less likly you will be to pass because every one will be looking at you---the t-girls who pass most successfully are those who draw the least attention to themselves

MsJane has said it absolutely correct here!

Time to stop trying to "pass", and start trying to "blend in". I don't pass, I couldn't pass to anyone who really looks carefully at me, but I am sucessfully living 24/7 because I do my best to blend in with all the other women around me. Don't attract attention, and you will have a much better time of it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Karren H]

As the girls said on "To Wong Foo" Drag Queen's just have soooo much more style than any one person can handle... lol

Karren

[Glenda58]

If you want to pass just go out and say to h*&@ to all. If we you in the mirror we don't see the girl we see the guy. That's what I thought till I went out a few times. Just show you belong where you are and act like a lady and you will pass.

[SandyR]

Well for me I really like to go over the edge, short skirt, black hose, heels (red is my fav). Real Drag queen.... hehehe


Just my thoughts.


Hugs...


SandyR

[Melora]

I have always thought of DQs as being just actors, out there to make $$$, and nothing more.
Some are quite good too, but not usually.

[Kristen Kelly]

MsJane has said it absolutely correct here!

Time to stop trying to "pass", and start trying to "blend in". I don't pass, I couldn't pass to anyone who really looks carefully at me, but I am sucessfully living 24/7 because I do my best to blend in with all the other women around me. Don't attract attention, and you will have a much better time of it.

Lovies,
Stephenie

Could not agree with you more, I find blending in is better, work on your voice, and look to keep them wondering. We have all seen GG's that looked more like men, it's their voice , vocabulary, and mannerisms that tell us they are GG.

You know when this is working when you get called Miss out in drab, been there feels great.

[Tina Dixon]

It's just another form of crossdressing if you ask me, give it a try.

[TxKimberly]

I have discovered that I am very unsatisfied with my look overall.. .

. . . And this is exactly the way most women I know feel about themselves. So in a way, you can use this feeling as affirmation that you are not only cross dressing and delving into the physical or fashion portion of "being a woman", but you are also getting some insight into part of how it feels to be a woman. Welcome to club! :-)

[Trinni]

I have been under the impression that a lot of professional "Drag Queens" are actually straight. They do it because they happen to be able to impersonate a famous female and are good at it. There can be a lot of money in them there shows.

[Stephenie S]

I have been under the impression that a lot of professional "Drag Queens" are actually straight. They do it because they happen to be able to impersonate a famous female and are good at it. There can be a lot of money in them there shows.

And here, dear ladies, is the crux of the matter.

What clothes you wear has absolutely NOTHING to do with your sexual preference. Gays wear drab, straights wear drab, some gays dress en femme, some straights dress enfemme. Trying to decide one's sexual preference by the clothes we wear is a foolish waste of time.

Some DQs are gay, some DQs are straight. Some CDers are gay, some CDers are straight. Welcome to the real world.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Sedona]

Most Drag Queens I've met have been gay, most CDers I've known or read about are straight. But, my informal poll is hardly scientific, so I agree with Steph S. There are all shapes/sizes/persuasions of CDer.

[RachelX]

I have been a crossdresser all my life. Very "drag queenish" types were something I just did not feel all that related to. When going out dressed with a girlfriend, or at home alone, I always wanted to look my feminine best--how ever far that was from passing I essentially tried to get as close as possible. Many years, and a couple of girlfriends later, I now recognize myself as a homosexual. Not being able to pass now has an"up side" to it, no pun intended, because I want to be recognized by any potentially interested guys. So being seen as a "drag queen" does not at all bother me. Thing is I still identify more as a crossdresser wannabe TS than a "drag queen". Does that make any sense?

[SarahLynn]

I have been a crossdresser all my life. Thing is I still identify more as a crossdresser wannabe TS than a "drag queen". Does that make any sense?


It does to me, and also to me you are quite attractive. Likely i would not "make" you if we were to pass in the street. Why? Well because i would not be looking to make you, but rather to see just how attractive you are. If i thought you attractive enough and if the time and place were right i might, and i do mean might, approach you for conversation. Again it's highly likely it would go no further, but then that's my life all over this country. From your avitar you "pass" to me. But that's not an€, upfront in your face, approach so who's to say. I would never "pass" but have high standards as to my dressing so were i to attempt it, well i'd just have to do my best and be sure to only go where such dress is apporpriate. One doesn't wear silk and satin to a football game unless you are the Queen of England.

SarahLynn

[alysonatl]

To me, a "drag queen" is a performer, a male dressed in female attire for the amusement of others. A crossdresser is a male dressed in female attire for self amusement. I guess it's possible to be both, but a drag queen tries to draw attention, while for the most part, crossdressers would rather blend in with the rest of the world.

[misstoni]

I think it all depends on your goals and needs. For me, I have looks that are more heavy handed. I'll wear more makeup, way more than I would ever wear if I were to attempt to pass. They may look good in pictures or in a gay club but that is about it.

Going out and passing is not something that I am all that into but I do work on such looks. I like glamour dressing, I get more from it.

I think it is more about what look gives you the most back.

[Rexy Lee]

I started with a more modest look but discovered that as i got older i morphed ito a look that often borders on the drag queen look....and I love it!

[erickka]

I'm a litle older, and just dress to blend in. I will never "pass" , but I carry the mannerisms of a middle class, middle aged GG and have had few people "make" me when amongst a bunch of other people. Feels good to be out and about without a bunch of hassles.

[trannie T]

Most crossdressers are straight, most drag queens are gay but there are gay crossdressers and straight drag queens. Ant then there are the female Faux Queens. I like the drag queen look and may even try it myself. Dress how you like, enjoy.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I think that most of us wanna be girls. That is not drag.

[Paula T]

trys to dress down or to blend when out shopping and with sunglasses on I do pretty well or at least I think I do:D and for some strange reason I always look at myself in a mirror or store window when out:eek:

[Sheri 4242]

Well, like Kandis said, there are a number of trains of thought on this. It has probably been going on not too long after Shakespeare coined "drag" in the margins of his plays -- since men played all theatrical parts at that time, "drag" indicated the character was "dressed as girl."


Most Drag Queens *those that I personally know* are gay, and their costumes are more outlandish and for shock value or because of the show the are "in".

Most Crossdressers *that I know and have met* are heterosexual males . . .

My personal experiences have been the same. If I might add, though, that several who have written on the subject hold that "drag queens" in this context are often contemptuous of GGs. The DQ's in the movie To Wong Foo did not attempt to highlight or address that aspect, perhaps b/c the times are a changing, perhaps just to keep things light.


the t-girls who pass most successfully are those who draw the least attention to themselves

Bingo!!! This can't bear repeating enough. Blend!

My wife and I were at the Atlanta airport the other day when my wife and I noticed that a girl sitting near us was a t-girl. We had to really study her, though, b/c she was as convincing as they come! She ended up on our same flight, too. Can't say if she was a CDer, or was TS, or what, but my wife and I thought that she certainly did "pass." Why? Because, while attractively dressed, she wasn't outlandish, or over the top, or sl&ty. She was dressed in very stylish -- even sexy -- clothing that were the epitome of tasteful. She was dressed like most of the GG travelers!!! Obviously she had spent a great deal of time on her makeup. Equally as obvious was that she had spent a great deal of money for a great wig. Her movements were so convincing that, combined with the look, my wife and I felt positive that nobody else was reading her at all!!!


I have been under the impression that a lot of professional "Drag Queens" are actually straight. They do it because they happen to be able to impersonate a famous female and are good at it. There can be a lot of money in them there shows.

There is another category that some use to describe this: "Female Impersonators." You'll see this used in show promotions in New York, Paris, Las Vegas, New Orleans, etc.