I am confused

[Brenda-Jean]

I need advice, i think. someone to talk to would be good. I have been cding in secret for over 30 years. I am now 49 and live in the UK. But dressing just isn;t enough anymore. I can't stop thinking about whether i should take the final step. I would love to tell my wife and have tried to discuss it with her but she cry's. She allows me to wear panties but thinks i dont wear anything else. which is a lie, i do as soon as i am alone. i have been out a few times and get depressed the day after dressing. it has come to the point now where i have promised myself i must make a decision. i either tell my wife everything even if she leaves me or stay as i am, very confused.
In my heart of hearts i would like to dress all the time, but this isnt possible. would i like to transition? i think so, but i am concerned about how the world would treat me. remember we british are more reserved. what do i do? tell her and risk losing her? or do something for me and live my life as i think i should?

i cant post messages that often, but please any advice would be welcome.

[Cara Allen]

I would not put the cart before the horse... you are trying to go from step one to step 5. If I were you, I would first seek the assistance of a counselor. (S)he can help you figure a way to effectively tell her. Have you been in public, dressed?



I need advice, i think. someone to talk to would be good. I have been cding in secret for over 30 years. I am now 49 and live in the UK. But dressing just isn;t enough anymore. I can't stop thinking about whether i should take the final step. I would love to tell my wife and have tried to discuss it with her but she cry's. She allows me to wear panties but thinks i dont wear anything else. which is a lie, i do as soon as i am alone. i have been out a few times and get depressed the day after dressing. it has come to the point now where i have promised myself i must make a decision. i either tell my wife everything even if she leaves me or stay as i am, very confused.
In my heart of hearts i would like to dress all the time, but this isnt possible. would i like to transition? i think so, but i am concerned about how the world would treat me. remember we british are more reserved. what do i do? tell her and risk losing her? or do something for me and live my life as i think i should?

i cant post messages that often, but please any advice would be welcome.

[MarinaTwelve200]

Yes, you need to see a counselor---And a good one, and usually one who is somewhat skeptical and rarely(but sometimes) concurs with those who suspect they might be TS.---Dont get one who pushes an adgenda, pro or con, that is the big danger here.

A true TS has had these strong TS feelings all his life---since very early childhood, and does not suddenly decide that a sex change is needed. I suspect you are really "burnt out" on what you have been doing for years, its not working for you any more and you desire a "bigger thrill", or whatever you go for in your CDing.----Changing sex may sound great to you, in this respect, as it is most obvious and certianly represents a progression from where you are now.

But it might be like many other fantasies, fun to imagine, but not something you would really want in RL Indeed your CD might be based on SM humiliation, "taboo tripping" or thrill seeking factors, rather than an actual desire to become female---Something you might not discover untill it is too late (horrors!). And you DO need the help of a good and knolegeable COUNSELOR to sort this things out in your mind.

[Toyah]

I need advice, i think. someone to talk to would be good. I have been cding in secret for over 30 years. I am now 49 and live in the UK. But dressing just isn;t enough anymore. I can't stop thinking about whether i should take the final step. I would love to tell my wife and have tried to discuss it with her but she cry's. She allows me to wear panties but thinks i dont wear anything else. which is a lie, i do as soon as i am alone. i have been out a few times and get depressed the day after dressing. it has come to the point now where i have promised myself i must make a decision. i either tell my wife everything even if she leaves me or stay as i am, very confused.
In my heart of hearts i would like to dress all the time, but this isnt possible. would i like to transition? i think so, but i am concerned about how the world would treat me. remember we british are more reserved. what do i do? tell her and risk losing her? or do something for me and live my life as i think i should?

i cant post messages that often, but please any advice would be welcome.

It really sounds to me as if you are just wanting something you cannot get IE dressing when you want to
Dressing all the time is not transitioning, the fact that all you do is wear pantys most of the time just says you are fustrated
Counseling is a last resort, you need to speak to your wife, not about dressing all the time because by your own admission it does you no good but about your need to dress sometimes