A question for those who have came out

[Veronica 1]

Well, I have to ask advice on this. I have always been the macho cowboy type person but have had feminine feelings ever since I was young kid and have loved to wear womans panties for years. However, since I have found this site I find that I am starting to become more woman than man and at a startling rapid pace. Reading your stories and experiences have triggered something in me that I cannot hold back. I am not complaining, but I am having worries about my new desires and actions showing through in my macho mode. I find that I have a hard time to switch into male mode and the people that I know are sure to notice soon. I realize that I am who I am, even with my recent changes but how do I express these changes to the ones who know me without revulsion and ridicule? Oh what a wicked web we weave.

[chucks]

the most you can do is be humble and sincere.

[GypsyKaren]

Those who loved you before finding out will still love you, those who didn't still won't.

Karen Starlene

[AmberTG]

It's a tough thing when you can no longer hold back that part of you. If you just ease into it slowly, most people will get used to it a bit at a time. You'll always have the people that just can't understand where you're coming from, but as Karen said, if they loved you before, they'll continue to love you.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

Well, I have to ask advice on this. I have always been the macho cowboy type person but have had feminine feelings ever since I was young kid and have loved to wear womans panties for years. However, since I have found this site I find that I am starting to become more woman than man and at a startling rapid pace. Reading your stories and experiences have triggered something in me that I cannot hold back. I am not complaining, but I am having worries about my new desires and actions showing through in my macho mode. I find that I have a hard time to switch into male mode and the people that I know are sure to notice soon. I realize that I am who I am, even with my recent changes but how do I express these changes to the ones who know me without revulsion and ridicule? Oh what a wicked web we weave.

But it is not entirely accurate since we don't set out to deceive really. Just to express another part of us. Amazing don't ya think, that as we begin to let the other side become, changes happen faster?

Unlike you I don't seem to have difficulty shifting gears as it were between male and female. What I am noticing is some femme mannerisms are slipping into my every day and it takes an effort to offset that.
I do believe that ultimately we will incorporate the best of both parts and people will know we have become different and/or better in ways they can't quite put a finger on. A good thing I think.


Those who loved you before finding out will still love you, those who didn't still won't.

Karen Starlene

True enough Karen and what's more is, those who don't probably never really did and won't (want to) understand anyway.

[Dita_B]

The only thing for sure in this world is continuous change. So if you are changing and your environment isn't changing with you, than you may start thinking about finding another, more accepting environment, like what you did when joining this community.

You can't live your life according to the expectations of others, you have to live your own life. If you wouldn't live your own life, you would end up as one unhappy puppy...

So my advise would be to let go of all those in your surroundings who cannot accept you for what you really are. And find other people who will...

:love:Dita.

[Zee]

Take it slow hun. Baby steps. I know what you are going through because to a degree, I am doing the same thing. Since finding this site, I have been a lot more open about who I am, which is causing my wife some concern. She is supportive, but is worried about what others will think (thats a part of her that can't shut off). She also has set definate limits to what I can and can not do as well, however those limits are slowly becomming less and less.

I think it wise to do the same. People, especially people in Southern Alberta, can be very intolerant. Massive religious and farming communities are like that, especially communities with a lot (and I mean almost everyone and their dog) are "cowboys" (yes, even a lot of the ladies).

So, if I might suggest, set your own limits and timetables for your public appearances. You suggested in another thread that you bought lipstick that works in drab. Try that on for size for a few months, then move to something else, like clear nail polish for a few months, etc.

As far as expressing your feelings outwardly around your peers, eventually, someone will ask. When that happens, it will be entirely up to you how you handle the situation. You know better than anyone how your individual friends and peers will react.

A few possible replies would be,

"Thanks for noticing..."
"My girlfriend got me hooked on it..."
"I am a crossdresser..."
"Meh, what ya gonna do...?"

hope things work out for you...
:love:
Z

[Chantelle CD]

The only thing i can say to you, is what i have done to save myself from the very same feelings!!! Dont lose the male side of yourself, unless you are feeling like you may be a woman in a mans body, and really want to. Nothing wrong with that eather. I like to feel as good as a man as i do as a woman, like to feel both as much as i can, both i can access at any time, but feeling like the man i was born, also makes me feel really good, it easy to let that go, because that is how we were born, especially with these new feelings and emotions overpowering you, in time the girly feelings become so normal as well. you dont have to let the male go to feel even more of the woman inside, i try to feel the man just as intense as the woman in me.

[MJ]

Well, I have to ask advice on this. I have always been the macho cowboy type person but have had feminine feelings ever since I was young kid and have loved to wear womans panties for years. However, since I have found this site I find that I am starting to become more woman than man and at a startling rapid pace. Reading your stories and experiences have triggered something in me that I cannot hold back. I am not complaining, but I am having worries about my new desires and actions showing through in my macho mode. I find that I have a hard time to switch into male mode and the people that I know are sure to notice soon. I realize that I am who I am, even with my recent changes but how do I express these changes to the ones who know me without revulsion and ridicule? Oh what a wicked web we weave.

your true friends will still be there for you..
and i understand your rapid growth pace. look at me i was just a regular guy surfing and found this place ....now i live full time as mj :heehee:. it's there fault they made me do it

[AmberTG]

Living the femme life can be very satisfying, dare I say addicting, if that spark is inside you to start with.

[Rosaliy Lynne]

your true friends will still be there for you..
and i understand your rapid growth pace. look at me i was just a regular guy surfing and found this place ....now i live full time as mj :heehee:. it's there fault they made me do it

you look lovely too MJ. good job.

clear nail polish. Been using it for years. my now x-wife suggested it because I was breaking nails too easily on the job. She suggested the clear nail hardening polish. Several women customers at work have noticed and commented favorably especially when I suggested why I use the clear. Of course cross dressing never entered into the picture but I do like my nails polished even if only with clear polish. My nails don't break so easily at work anymore and that is a good thing too.

One week I decided to add a pinkish polish with glitter in it. My supervisor, a GG, noticed and immediately asked to see my hands. My comment was that I wanted to have a little color for a change. The world did not end and I still have my job. Two days later though I did remove the polsih in favor of just the clear. In the meantime tho only my supervisor noticed. None of my customers did, or at least they didn't say anything.

[sami1952]

The only advice that i have is just be yourself,everything will work soon.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I feel your "pain" since I am going through a lot of the same feelings asa you are. If my life were not so encummbered with family and work I would come out as a woman and never look back. I have too much to lose as I love my wife and it would almost certainly destroy our marriage, I have too many plans that include her in them that I could not be full time en-femme for the sake of our marriage.

[Jackie67]

I really couldn't tell you what coming out felt like as I came home from the hospital dressed the same as my twin sis and have been dressing in my older twin sisters hand me downs for most of the time I was home. Twins REALLY DO HAVE MORE FUN.:heehee::2c:

[Lisa Golightly]

Ah this is a question of I and us. If you are an 'I' you just don't give a damn... If you are an 'us' then you'll just have to feel your way through it. I myself was an 'I'.

[Desiree2bababe]

I feel your pain and It's even harder when you actually like your male self.

[Veronica 1]

Thanks for the replies, I will have to try and take it slow but I don't know how it will go. I have a week of holidays his week and my kids, who have just recently moved back to town, have been staying over at my son's half sisters so I am free to do as I want once again. Maybe if I can let my feelings explode then I can get them out of the way and take it easy, but maybe not. I will just have to see how it goes and take it from there. Really, I wish that I had done this years ago but there was no supportive site like this back then. Thanks for being here for me in this confusing time.

[Zee]

Any time Ronni, feel free to PM me any time.

[JoAnnDallas]

My wife now knows as this last weekend. All I can tell you is each GG will react differently. There is no way to know how she will react before hand. So far my wife has not reacted badly, but it is still early for me. The only advise I can give, is search you own heart.