Is there mental as well as physical purging?

[jackie storm]

I know, I know purging of one's wardrobe is silly, unnecessary and smacking of self denial (along with other pejorative notions that members of this forum might express), but it does occur with a many of us for different reasons. In fact, I am sure that nearly all of us have engaged in purging at some time in our cd lives. My question is whether the physical act of purging also involves the phenomenon of mental purging (I guess defined as the self imposed muting of the desire to crossdress) Has anyone experienced mental purging and kept her clothes? If mental purging exists for anyone, how would you define it for yourself? Don't worry, I am not throwing out my best clothes. jackie

[sterling12]

Jackie, I think that's why these purges always seem to be unsuccessful. We can NEVER mentally purge what is inside our heads, no more than an alcoholic can banish all thoughts of alcohol. Actual physical purging may intensify the mental though processes and only amplify those feelings of loss and not feeling complete.

I really wish we could reach a lot of these Gurls who do "the purging thing." Would love to convince them to replace the feelings of low self-esteem, with thoughts directed toward accepting this unique gift that we share. I think if you could redirect the thoughts, the desire to purge would recede and go away.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Dita_B]

Ditto! I can't agree more with JOANIE...

No purging whether mental or physical for this girl... I don't even want to think about it, let alone considering a mental purging...

I would almost say: "Are you out of your mind?" (pun intended)

Al meant in good spirit...

:love:Dita.

[Zee]

I tried. Oh, have I tried. Trying to live up to my family's expectations to be a man doing manly things was what they wanted. The things I wanted to do were in stark contrast, however, to what my feelings were.

While doing this, I became depressed; the psychiatrists thought it was serious enough to diagnose me as potential suicidal. The thought had crossed my mind, but I never would have carried it out. From about 16 to around 23, I was completely miserable. When I was 19, my girlfriend was in a fatal car crash which sunk me even further into the pits of self pity and despair.

I am still battling my past. I am not very open about my feelings anymore. I am on the verge of paranoia most times about other people’s motives. When I got married, I was still fighting my demons, but as time goes on, I am allowing myself to be me. I want to be me. I have been told that I have a quiet reserve about me; but if I did what I really wanted to do, I would not be described as such.

I have become almost a recluse by trying to be something I am not. I have very few friends and rarely go out.

If I could live my life over again, knowing what I know now, I would in a heartbeat.

My advice to anyone who is trying to mental purge is... DON'T. DON'T make my mistakes. It is not worth the pain and anguish you suffer. Because when you suffer, your loved ones often pay the price. Just be yourself. It's not worth trying to live your life as how others want you to. Please, I implore anyone who would want to try to purge... search your feelings and find the truth about yourself before it is too late.

(P.S. don't mistake this post for a self pity trip; my words were not intended to be that. I am happy for the most part now, but I have a long way to go. Just heed these words and take them to heart)

[nataliecd77]

I don't know. I think at times that I sorta mentally purge. For a number of reasons I just feel I need to take a break so to speak. I don't actually throw away perfectly good clothes, but I might just not wear them ofr a little while. I mean for some cd's it wouldn't be a big deal, for others it might. I can usually make the time to dress when I want to as my SO does suppor tme but occasionally I find myself just not dressing because there are things I'd rather get done even if they might not be as comforting as cding. I've gatghered that the urge to dress is more prevalent in some than others, thereby it would also stand that some have more sucess at mentally or physically purging! I've done a few actual purges ( which I regret) but quite oftne perform a version of mental purging if only to make myself feel happoier with it all for a little bit. OK that sounds confusing but it makes sense to me! LOL
Natalie

[SatinDoll00]

I know, I know purging of one's wardrobe is silly, unnecessary and smacking of self denial (along with other pejorative notions that members of this forum might express), but it does occur with a many of us for different reasons. In fact, I am sure that nearly all of us have engaged in purging at some time in our cd lives. My question is whether the physical act of purging also involves the phenomenon of mental purging (I guess defined as the self imposed muting of the desire to crossdress) Has anyone experienced mental purging and kept her clothes? If mental purging exists for anyone, how would you define it for yourself? Don't worry, I am not throwing out my best clothes. jackie

I doubt there is any other kind of purge.

Not many people 'purge' their clothing...unless they have lost/gained a great deal of weight.

Do not feel alone.

Every purge I have ever experienced has been both mental and to a lesser degree physical. Consider...if the purge had not been mental...why would one purge their clothes...they are only clothes.

I really miss many of the things I tossed...what a mistake!!!

Peace be to you sister

Morgan

[Carin]

There was a time, last year, when life's woes were too much for us. It is a long complicated story and I will spare you the gore. But a key obstacle for my SO was that "It is all about crossdresing". For the sake of sanity, communication and progress, I decided to remove "crossdressing" as as a current topic for a period of time, in a manor that I guess would be described as a mental purge. I offered that crossdressing would be a non-issue, not forever, but for a significant period of time, so that we could focus on other key issues. Not a physical purge. Nothing got thrown out. The more significant stuff got put away (in a drawer). I continued to wear my regular stuff (panties, i have no male underwear), but as a topic of conversation an interaction it was put aside to clear up some mental space for both of us.

It lasted about 4 months, then came back slowly by design.

[SatinDoll00]

You inspire me...and I am sure everyone here.

Good luck to you and your dear wife. She seems like a strong, and amazing woman.

Morgan

[Ronda_B]

For me purging has come and went time and time again, both physical and mental. I have gone for months with out thinking or acting upon it. But here lately my clothing has been in hiding but not my mind. I have been thinking about it everyday and can't seem to shake it. The more life gets my down the more I think about it, it's kind of an escape for me, my stress relief. By switching off my male brain and my female on, I'm put in a better mood that will carry over to my job. Thank your creater for the chance to think with both sides of your brain, not just one sex both both and sometimes at the same time, multi-tasking.

[dakota_ann69]

I can never mentally purge this would be the death of something that is very close to my heart and would probably result in my spending many hours in therapy and my money would be better spent elsewhere!!

For me to mentally purge would ultimately end in the death of Dakota and that is a price that I cannot afford.

[battybattybats]

Mental purging.. hmmm....
Would that be any different than conciously or unconciously repressing?

[Chantelle CD]

For me, this side of myself HAS to express itself! i can not physically or mentally purge it. I have tried and tried over and over again, and lost so many years of happiness. Unless it is different for you, maybe it can be done, but for me, its simply not possible. She has to be, as much as i am here now.