Told The GF Last Night

[Glenda58]

Been going out with this lady for a few months. Things started to get serious lately and I started to fall in love and she was asking me over more and more. So I ask her why she like me she said that I was kind and gentle easy to talk to and she felt that I would never hurt her. I told her to look at me was there anything that she could see that made me different from other men she had known. She said no. So love is blind. I said look at my legs my arms my chest they're all shaved. She yes so what. I told her that I was a cross dresser. Then the questions started coming. Are you GAY? Why do you dress? Do you go out? Do you want to be a woman? Have you gone to counseling? How all have you been doing it? Does anybody else know? I answer her the best I could.
She started to cry and said she needed to think. I started to leave but I couldn't leave her crying. So I stayed held her in my arms. Told her I would understand if she didn't want to see me again. That I loved her and that's why I told her I didn't want us to be together for 3 or 4 yrs then have her find out then she you hate me. She said yes she would. I said I didn't want to hurt her like the other men in her life and I didn't want to start a life with her by lying to her about me.

After a few hours of talking and cuddling every close she was feeling better. I went home.

Today she call and told me I was still a wonderful man. I asked what she meant? She said she would tell me tomorrow.

Only time will tell if she still wants to see me or did I lose in love a forth time.

[christiecd]

I told my girlfriend too a few months ago, and it was a scary thing to tell her, but I'm glad I did. She was very accepting, and I hope your girlfriend is too. Best of luck, Glenda. -Christie

[BarbaraTalbot]

My money is on her wanting to see you again. Good luck. I'm sure you know you did the right thing, as active as you are with your dressing.

[Bernadina]

Lots of hugs Glenda.

You did the right thing.

No secrets, always works best in the long term.

Hope this all works out OK.

It did for me.

[Sheila]

Glenda will keep my fingers crossed for you :hugs:

[racquel]

I'm confident that she will want an honest,caring,sensitive person to share her life with.:love: I think it will be all good.

[Jenna1561]

Glenda, you did the right thing at the right time in my opinion. I wish you the best and hope everything turns out well for the both of you. I'm proud of you for having the courage to tell her the truth and risk the consequences. Way to go girl!

:Lots of Hugs:

Jenna

[Sedona]

Glenda,

You'll be fine. Her calling you is all you need to know about her feelings about you. A good sign to be sure. Once you talk again, TAKE IT SLOWLY, and let her take the lead in the CDing talks. It could be a very slow road.

Best of luck,

[Roberta Lynn]

That had to be tough to do.
Like you know and the others have said, you did the right thing.
I believe you didn't lose in love. You gave both of you a chance at the only real love that can survive. One based on respect and honesty.
:hugs: Wishing the best for you

[Byllie]

You were honest. You were loving. You made it clear you cared about her. Now it's all in the hands of fate.

[sweetnsultry77]

Well, we are all waiting to hear what she had to say! Being honest with her was the best thing you did and she was crying because no one else in her life has done that before! It was a good start to good relationship!

[nikkicdintraining]

i know what you are going through. I told my current wife when we started dating, she took it ok. now we are married and she buys me clothes and even swipes my clothes. :drink:

[Sonia Kiss]

Good for you, Glenda. Of course you had to tell her, that's what people who are close do, they tell each other things. Your GF may want to let your relationship continue to grow, she may want to stay just friends, or she may back off. But you know, that's the way it is with all people, all relationships. As relationships progress, people learn each other, and either magic happens or it doesn't. Sounds like in your case, things have been going very well, and that's a very good sign that they'll continue to go well, even after this.

I've got my fingers crossed for you! :)
Sonia

[dakota_ann69]

Props to you, you really did the right thing. Sounds to me like she wants to see you again. Have faith it will work out in the end.

[CharleneCD]

Good for you in doing the right thing. Since she didnt scream and tell you she didn't want to see you again, I think there is a good chance she may become accepting. Just take it slow from here.

[Emma England]

Why?

Because you have been honest. Have said that you love her. She was prepared to talk and listen to you for a few hours. She says that you are gentle and easy to talk to.

The biggest thing though was that she has called you.
If she had no interest, she would not bother phoning you, right?

I did not like the still word though.

Hope it all goes well for you.

Let us know what happens!

:hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

My money is on her wanting to see you again.Me too, she called you...that has to be a good sign



You'll be fine. Her calling you is all you need to know about her feelings about you. A good sign to be sure. Once you talk again, TAKE IT SLOWLY, and let her take the lead in the CDing talks. It could be a very slow road.
Great advice, let her talk LOTS, and answer any questions she may come up with out the blue



I believe you didn't lose in love. You gave both of you a chance at the only real love that can survive. One based on respect and honesty.So very true and nicely put Roberta :D

[Sandra]

Good for you for being honest with her. I do hope it works out for you.

[Nigella]

Let others be led by your shining light.

Honesty is always the best policy

Best wishes

[angelfire]

Sounds like if she said you're a wonderful man, that means she can accept it at the very least, and is willing to try to work things out.

[Angie G]

Glenda it was a ggod thing you did I hope it works out for you and you have a wonderful life with her with out the lies and secretes, the best of luck to you hun :hugs:
Angie

[Raychel]

No doubt about it Glenda, You did the right thing by telling her. Now is the time to get this over with, If she loves you she will get over it and you will have a wonderful life together. If there is no true love in her heart then, all will be for the best.

I have a good feeling, I am thing that all will be just great for you. :thumbsup:

[RachelDenise]

Glenda, I have the utmost respect for you. You did the right thing, even though it wasn't easy and there was a possibility for the outcome to be something you didn't want. I think it is a good sign that she called you. Can't wait to hear how things are going. Like everyone else has said, go slow!

[MsMichelle]

Good for you Glenda!!
I told my wife over 12 years ago. The first weeks were indeed difficult but it got better and better after that. It is without any doubt a very difficult choice to make but I can in all honesty tell you that it was one of the wisest choices I ever made.
It was difficult to see how hard it was for my wife in the begininng and you can't help but wonder why you would decide to hurt the woman of your life so badly. When it all the hurting is over I can assure you that you will both be the happier for it.

Best wishes for you both.
Michelle

[Sally24]

It's scary but the truth is always the best. Try to relax and wait for her next call. I think it will go well for the two of you but only time will tell. It was the right thing to do though. Congratulations for taking the hard road, it could be the best choice you ever made.

[Mary Morgan]

Glenda, you handled the situation with class and sensitivty. I suspect these are some of the traits she sees in you. Now honesty and integrity are front and center. You win either way. I hope you get what you want.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi Glenda, Best of luck and I hope it works for you. Get her to come on this site an talk to other GG or friends like us. My girl friend is always talking about other GG of my friends and she lays it out in black and white for them. I like everyone esle is waiting to here THE REST OF THE STORY.

Josephine

[switcheralso]

When I told my wife she did not know if she should cry or laugh. I held her and it passed. Great job.

[renee k]

Hi Glenda,

I'll go along with all the other posts, you did the right thing in telling her. You've probably scored high marks in the integrity and trust areas. I wish you all the best.

Huggs, Renee

[Desiree2bababe]

Hope it works out Glenda, sounds promising. I'll never forget telling mine. She immediately wanted to see. My only regret is I wish I'd taken more time with my makeup.

[Zee]

Well... Did she talk to you yet? What is the verdict? Anxiously awaiting an update here.

[Joy Carter]

I'd have to agree with the others. Being honest is the only way.

Good luck Glennda.:hugs:

[DonnaT]

Hope it all works out well, Glenda.

Sounds like it may. Heck, sounds like she might be looking to buy you something to show you it's ok. Hopefully.

Regardless of the outcome, you did the right thing.

[Chantelle CD]

You did the right thing Glenda. I hope it all works out for the best. The fact that she called you the next day, and said what she did, tells me she is thinking of the reality of the fact, and thinking about the future with this situation, a very good sign!!

[Katie Moore]

Glenda,

You did the right thing. My money is also on you. I'd be willing to say that this is going to be a good relationship. Can all of us g to the "hitching" if there is one?

Katie

[mackemlass]

Add me to the list of those who think you did right.

[Elsbeth]

Fingers crossed - it all works out for the best.

You definately did the right thing. Sometimes that is the hard road, but it is the right road.

El

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

You made the right decision, letting everything be known in
the beginning is the best way to go. I wish you the best.

cindi ann

[Kieron Andrew]

ok what happened? we are all on tender hooks???

[Glenda58]

OK She says she still wants to see me but not Glenda. She still has lots of questions but all knew that was going to happen. I wants me to stop shaving my chest and not go out dressed. That's something we still have to work on. Since I don't live with her I should be able to do what I want without going against her wants. She says I'm driving her crazy I'm not like any man she has ever dated and that I'm spoiling her. Plus she wants me to come and stay with her. But she still hasn't made up her mind about us.

I'll keep you all updated as thing more along.

[ReineD]

My BF sent me these two Tri Ess links when he first came out to me in the very beginning of our relationship:

http://www.tri-ess.org/cd01.html
http://www.tri-ess.org/Wives_CDs_BofR.html

They were very helpful. I then went on to reading everything I could find on the subject, and I joined a CDSO support site.

It has been almost a year now, and my love for him continues to deepen. We have experienced the requisite ups and downs as happens in any other growing romantic relationship. Our issues have not been about the crossdressing.

A major focus in this forum and elsewhere is about having supportive or non-supportive SOs. Equally important is having a supportive CDing partner. My BF has always been open and willing to patiently answer all of my questions, especially when I began reading dubious clinical studies or posts from other GGs who were experiencing facets of CDing that hadn't even come to play between us! :p

I am increasingly becoming aware of all the challenges, physical and emotional, evident and subtle, that crossdressers face. My admiration for the courageous and optimistic manner in which my BF meets these challenges grows along with my love for him.

I hope that your GF gives herself the opportunity to experience a relationship with someone as kind and as gentle as you.

Reine

[BarbaraTalbot]

Sounds like a good start. I think you have the camlesnose, well I mean the stiletto pump under the hem of her tent.

[Sheila]

Glenda, hoping this works out good for you , will keep you both on my posative vibes list hun:hugs:

[Peggy55]

Been going out with this lady for a few months. Things started to get serious lately and I started to fall in love and she was asking me over more and more. So I ask her why she like me she said that I was kind and gentle easy to talk to and she felt that I would never hurt her. I told her to look at me was there anything that she could see that made me different from other men she had known. She said no. So love is blind. I said look at my legs my arms my chest they're all shaved. She yes so what. I told her that I was a cross dresser. Then the questions started coming. Are you GAY? Why do you dress? Do you go out? Do you want to be a woman? Have you gone to counseling? How all have you been doing it? Does anybody else know? I answer her the best I could.
She started to cry and said she needed to think. I started to leave but I couldn't leave her crying. So I stayed held her in my arms. Told her I would understand if she didn't want to see me again. That I loved her and that's why I told her I didn't want us to be together for 3 or 4 yrs then have her find out then she you hate me. She said yes she would. I said I didn't want to hurt her like the other men in her life and I didn't want to start a life with her by lying to her about me.

After a few hours of talking and cuddling every close she was feeling better. I went home.

Today she call and told me I was still a wonderful man. I asked what she meant? She said she would tell me tomorrow.

Only time will tell if she still wants to see me or did I lose in love a forth time.

This is what I worry about. Will this overwelming desire to crossdress) win over love? And if it does I don't think this Gurl will be happy. Four times (well hopefully only 3)....my heart goes out to you.

[karynspanties]

You are going to have to decide what you want more. Living your life with her and not cd or move on and do what you want when you want. If she is starting to tell you not to go out enfemme and you don't live together....I would hate to see what she would be like if you lived with her.

[Melinda G]

If you marry her, or live with her, the sex is going to get old, sooner or later. Then the crossdressing will come back in a big way. Then you will be either very frustrated, when she finds your stash, and throws it out, or you will give in to it, and wind up divorced. Crossdressing and marriage don't work out 95% of the time. For every one in here, whose wife or SO is "OK with it", there are probably 10 or 15 whose wife or SO wasn't OK with it. Don't shoot me. I'm just the messenger.

[Linda Daniels]

This situation is probably one of the most delecate situations one can find themselves in. I think U are doing the right thing by being up front at the beginning...there really is no other way to go about it.

I'm in a very similar situation right now. My GF knows about me because she found some things...that I don't particularly hide...and asked questions, so I told her. Then one time while out to dinner she asked, "So, are you more a fisherman or a hunter?" ...I responded, "Whell, I am a crossdresser" ...silence

I'm not sure where all of this will end up, but one thing for sure is that I know who I am and I like me and can't and don't really want to change.

Any advise on what I should do next??? I could really use some good advise and a little "push here"...seems like Glenda and I are in the same boat!!!

Linda

[Melinda G]

And if you are "upfront about it" from the beginning, and the relationship breaks up, you don't know who she might tell. And women love to talk.

[betty glasgow]

hi babe you were being honest =which makes you grow within yourself and being honest with others around you.which helps them to grow with you so be good to yourself . its ok regards

[Patty]

I think that being honest is the best policy.
Hope things work out :hugs:

[Darlene-VA]

Hope that it works out for you, that was a big step that you took and the honesty is the right move

[Dee Talbot]

She started to cry and said she needed to think. I started to leave but I couldn't leave her crying. So I stayed held her in my arms. Told her I would understand if she didn't want to see me again. That I loved her and that's why I told her I didn't want us to be together for 3 or 4 yrs then have her find out then she you hate me I hope this works out for you. IMHO, this is a promising start. Maybe not as promising as you had hoped, but promising nonetheless. I want you to know how much I respect and admire your honesty and candor. Being honest in spite of the possible "fallout" shows incredible bravery and integrity. Thank you so very much!!!!

You also mentioned losing in love 4 times. I'm so sorry to hear that. I usually don't post mushy gushy things like this, because I feel it's inappropriate for me to do so as a married woman. I feel safe though in posting that even if you have been unlucky in the past, it will be a lucky woman who finally sees the gem that you are.

Dee