Forcing Myself Back Into Crossdressing

[Karren H]

Call it Forced Femininization if you like.. And it is kind of that, because the drive isn't totally there but I've dicided to start dressing anyway and see what happens.. Like the crossdressing version of falling off the horse and getting back on? Hehe.

So today its back to my SBL's.... Standard Business Lingerie.. And it feels ok under my civi's.... And I'm wearing a couple coats of mascara , top and bottom lashes and a little bronzer on my face!! No one notices anything any more and if they do no one really cares..

Plan to do some shopping at non and try on a few dresses and skirts.. Check out the clearence racks at Kohl's and just test the waters... And if I'm not put off I plan to go back out enfemme in a week or two.. Depending on the weather.. The cooler the better....

I really need to practice my makeup a few times.. And want to hit Ulta or Sephora to check out some foundation primer by Smashbox that the girls on MUT just rave about... Since I've been there I've changed a lot of my makeup brands.. They really know their s#!t....

So we shall see what happens.. Hope for the best, plan for the worst!! Lol

Karren

[juliek]

I was wondering what was going on with you. I can't even remember the last time you posted one of your great adventures. I thought something was amiss, miss.

Well, let us know how it goes. You know we are all cheering for you!

Julie

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

What happened to change your approach?
I think we all look forward to your post's and love to see whats going on in your life so welcome back. As for your make-up, I wish that I was as good at it as you obviosly are! I too have had a bit of a hiatus from my ussual crossdressing and don't have the answers as to why other than life has been pretty hectic as of late.

[Karren H]

Thanks.. It has been a while but I've been hanging with the makeup-*****s over on MUT.. Lol. Picking up tips and tricks.. Need all the help I can.. But though I'm getting back into chatting about crossdressing the urge to actually crossdress just plain faded.. Last time that happened it ended up due to a medical condition... So I'm hoping that that's NOT the case this time but I'm going to get a full checkup in a week just to make sure... Getting old sucks but I guess it beats the alternative!! Hehe

Karren

[Kandi]

Glad you're back Karen. I got hooked on this forum a large part because of your antics. I too have almost totally taken off the summer but plan on diving in at the SCC. I bet your ears will be burning next week.

I hear there is a coal conference in Atlanta next week........

[jennifer easton]

If you dont feel it, why make it happen? you've been there, like you I find myself asking, whats the point some times, but a couple of weeks I'm back, now it hasen't been due to medical reasons so on that point I hope your check up turns up good!!, but you'll be back in the saddle soon, given us that are closet bound hope, and entertainmet with your adventures in CD land, take care. Jen.

[dakota_ann69]

Nice to have you back Karren, I hope things go well for you. I have really missed your posts.

[Lisa Golightly]

Ah, luckily for me the clothes have always been a mere fasion statement of a feminine mind... I reckon you are going through the rebellious teenage period (I went through it at 15 ;) ) Doesn't matter what you wear, what you do or why you do it. You're a great kid, and at the end of the day I'd rather have you here and happy :)

[Kahlan51]

Glad to have you back Karren. You have been an inpiration in the past and I look forward to you being so in the future. My interest has waned at times and I just went with the flow. I usually discovered that I was allowing a lot of the day to day pressure of events get to me. There were always a lot of things unresolved which created anxiety and I lost touch with who I was. As soon as I centered myself and took care of the issues my femme side was ready for the adventure of life again. Take Care.
Love Kahlan:hugs:

[Karren H]

Glad you're back Karen. I got hooked on this forum a large part because of your antics. I too have almost totally taken off the summer but plan on diving in at the SCC. I bet your ears will be burning next week.

I hear there is a coal conference in Atlanta next week........

My ears are already buzzing..... Wait... That's just my tinitus acting up again!! :tongueout

Funny all the coal conferences I get to go are in backwoods WV... Or up some hollar in Eastern KY... Still don't know why the coal marketers get to go to the Florida or Jamaca?? No one mines coal there.. Guess I need to become a salesman........ woman..

Karren

[Lovely Rita]

glad to see you back in the game. I love Sephora. I need to go there again myself.

[Sharon]

It doesn't seem as though it would be much fun if you have to force yourself to get dressed. Since you will probably get the urge at some point in the future, why not wait until you do?

[Trinni]

Let us know the results. I'm curious if it will bring back that old feeling to dress or since it is forced as you put it, push it further away.

[Sweet Jane]

ummmmmm...why????.....why bother???

[Julie York]

"Coming to a disabled toilet near you!!!!!......A tale of Intrigue...Deception....Daring!!.....The story of a lone crossdresser dragged into the underworld of Porterloos and Truck Stop Bathrooms."



I look forward to your adventures. I still don't know if you are brave or stark raving bonker but it makes me smile.

:D

[Karren H]

Why? Good question!! Mainly because I enjoyed crossdressing.. And I'm at a loose to explain what happened.. Last time out I didn't NOT enjoy it but the drive was gone..

Be like if you loved to swim and swam all your life but one day you just didn't feel like going to the pool any more.. So after setting out for a few months you figured you'd hop back in the water and see how it feels again..

Kind of like that.. Well excpet the water isn't water its a skirt and heels!! Hehehe. But you get the picture.. And as far as fun... We shall see!! I tend to have fun no matter how I'm dressed!! Lol

I did buy a couple cute skirts on clearence for $3.00 each at Value City at noon while IMing with Rita on my crackberry.. Nice boots too but not on sale yet.. See got to go for that bargin!! Lol. Funny too.. The young checkout girl was visably nerveous waiting on a guy in a dark brown suit buying womens clothes... Must have been her first crossdresser? I tried to be chatty but I could tell she wasn't comfortable with me.. Ohh well.. That's life!!

Karren

[Tina Dixon]

Like I said September is the start of CD season :D

[misstoni]

I have had my moments where the urge just wasn't there. I have a tendancy to go through it when I am in new romantic relationships (especially when the woman that I an involved with is a girly girl and I can live through her). I'm currently going through a time where the drive is lessened due to stress.

Dressing can be a HUGE stress reliever but uninspired dressing can lead to what feels like wasted time.

I'm in the process of taking baby steps to get back on that horse because I know how fulfilling it can be. When it all comes together, when you look in the mirror at that image and you love what you see it brings about a huge sense of accomplishment. After a good session of dressing, I feel better, I think differently, I see the world differently, it is the most dramatic kick that I can give to that creative part of me that exist in all that I do.

[Karren H]

Like I said September is the start of CD season :D

If that's the case then I want to see those photos of you and your garage door on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd!! :D

Or in the womens restroom at the Clare rest area!! Your choice!! Hehe

Karren

[Breanne]

.....I'm at a loose to explain what happened.. Last time out I didn't NOT enjoy it but the drive was gone..

Ah, the summer doldrums. Not to worry Karren, the hurricane season is upon us, just brace yourself!

[MarinaTwelve200]

I've forced myself a few times. Usually to take advantage of an oppurtunity to CD when it comes up, especially if it looks like it might be my last chance for a while. After two to 3 weeks without a CD session, I get to "chompin on the bit", needing my CD fix. So I take it when I can get it.

[Sandygal]

I think the problem your having is the excitement. The thrill of dressing and getting away with it. You need to find some new goals that will bring back the excitement. Maybe come up with a stage act. If you can sing as good as you dress, it might be a good show. Try a walk through at the office. I'm really not saying to do these perticuler things, but find some way to fantisize about some new ideas. I think your dressing will come running back, hopefully on some 6" stiletto's.......Sandy

[RachelB.]

I've been in one of those funks or whatever you want to call it for almost a year. I have dressed very little an haven't really felt like it. Moving several hundred miles and going thru selling and buying a hoouse had a lot to do with it, but health issues were part of it. Mostly just shorts and a tee because it has been so hot. We are finally getting settled in our new house next week. Maybe that will help. At least I'll have room to spread out and have all my clothes handy.

Hope it all works out for you.

Rachel

I'm going to be in Moundsville, VA soon. Do you know where Moundsville is? Is there anything to do in that area?

[Karren H]

I think that your right Sandy!! Its the "getting away with it" that's probably why I'm forcing myself back.. Too bad I can't sing or dance!! Hehe Maybe I need to run for public office enfemme... Or how about a mining convention enfemme... Bank robbing?? That's a two-fer as fars as the getting away part!! Lol

Karren

[suzanne claire]

It is wonderful to have you back.We all look forward with great anticipation to your next adventure.Perhaps a football outing?:happy:

[Toyah]

Do you want some help with the forced femming
I know some girls in London !!!£$%£^&^^^^

[Sandygal]

I think that your right Sandy!! Its the "getting away with it" that's probably why I'm forcing myself back.. Too bad I can't sing or dance!! Hehe Maybe I need to run for public office enfemme... Or how about a mining convention enfemme... Bank robbing?? That's a two-fer as fars as the getting away part!! Lol

Karren

I thought about it Karren....Go dressed enfem in a skirt to a fun park. See how it feels to have the wind blow up your skirt on a rollercoaster. Ta da....Sandy

[flatlander_48]

I think that your right Sandy!! Its the "getting away with it" that's probably why I'm forcing myself back.. Too bad I can't sing or dance!! Hehe Maybe I need to run for public office enfemme... Or how about a mining convention enfemme... Bank robbing?? That's a two-fer as fars as the getting away part!! Lol

Karren

Joan Jett Black beat you to it by running for the Mayor of Chicago in '91.

[BarbaraTalbot]

having been going through forced masculization for years, I don't think very many newtons of force would have to be applied when I slip into the doldrums. Good to have you back at any speed.

[Angie G]

Get back soon Karren we need you hun :hugs:
Angie

[Oddlee]

Getting old sucks but I guess it beats the alternative!! Hehe

Karren

So, I thought miners said, "Any day above ground is a good day." At least when folks asked me how I was during cancer therapy that's what I told them...

Nice wig, btw

Lee

[Katie Moore]

I really think it has something to do with the NHL.

Think about it...after the Stanley Cup everyone quits playing for the summer. Now the season is starting back up.

Karen quits dressing for the summer and now is going to start again.

Maybe if they played all year....

Katie

[charlie-50]

Go for it . you may or may not know this . but i feel like you inspire people in power if you will to what to try and be more passable cders or just cders in general......charlie....

[Tina Dixon]

If that's the case then I want to see those photos of you and your garage door on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd!! :D

Or in the womens restroom at the Clare rest area!! Your choice!! Hehe

Karren
:heehee:Pretty soon girl, I'm getting the bug to get girlie again.

[Karren H]

So, I thought miners said, "Any day above ground is a good day." At least when folks asked me how I was during cancer therapy that's what I told them...

Nice wig, btw

Lee

Thanks and I love working underground.....


I really think it has something to do with the NHL.

Think about it...after the Stanley Cup everyone quits playing for the summer. Now the season is starting back up.

Karen quits dressing for the summer and now is going to start again.

Maybe if they played all year....

Katie

The high paid stars don't play after Lord Stanleys cup is won but us girls play all year round!! lol


Go for it . you may or may not know this . but i feel like you inspire people in power if you will to what to try and be more passable cders or just cders in general......charlie....

I'm flattered Charlie but doubt my antics would inspire someone to get up off the couch and change the TV channel...

Karren

[Sherlyn]

I kinda find it funny that you would force yourself to do this ...personally I think if it aint happening it aint happening baby ....forcing... may just add some bad negative vibe Karren ....its so clear to see when you feel it your enjoying it ...and its plain to see that its a part of you ..wait it out g/f coz when its back naturally Karren ...thats what its all about :)

[Karren H]

Well it's not a bad vibe... it's just no vibe... not put off by crossdressing just not excited about it either... neutral.... So things that don't kill you make you stronger?? lol We will see... Even if it's a grand experiment and nothing comes of it, it should not harm me one way or the other... I hope... lol

Karren

[Roxi Loh]

First of all it is great that you are doing what you like to do...if you like to do it. I am one of your biggest fans and I love your witty comments. I am going to sound dumb...(blonde) and ask about Smashbox and MUT. I love makeup but I am lost there. What, who are they/it? Welcome back Karen.

Hugs
Roxanne

[rickie121x]

......Its the "getting away with it" that's probably why I'm forcing myself back......
Karren Coming in here with a moral notion, I am: Most of us were left with ideas from our childhood, from our formative years, and shaped continually since then that there is "something wrong" with crossdressing. Not that those ideas are controlling, and they are not for most of us that are here.... However the germinal notions that constitute those "ideas" remain in our mental library and emerge at various times. And so, one of the notions that is a part of the crossdressing process is "getting away with it" just as if we were taking delight in being "a bad little boy."

At times these notions exhibit stronger, but generally much less that strong effects on our desires and behaviors. And so we experience periods of seemingly less need to "dress" and then times of very strong needs to dress. I am sure we are all aware of the dismal ebb and the delightful flow of the energies we are willing to devote to our special psychosocial gift. Even as we know we love it and that it is fulfilling, some days, weeks, months, it just isn't worth it....

So there you go, in a nutshell, it comes and goes, and not always according to timetable we would have it follow. Force the process, and according to my experience, and it is better than nothing, but not as good as when the feeling arrives with bells and whistles - and we give in... delightfully. :happy:

Rickie - and I have a new slide show link below.

[Billijo49504]

Like I said in the PM, When you are down in the dumps, Buy lingerie. Something soft, silky or frilly has got to perk you up....BJ

[SatinDoll00]

But though I'm getting back into chatting about crossdressing the urge to actually crossdress just plain faded.. Last time that happened it ended up due to a medical condition... So I'm hoping that that's NOT the case this time but I'm going to get a full checkup in a week just to make sure... Getting old sucks but I guess it beats the alternative!! Hehe

Karren

Hi Karren...

I sincerely hope you are in good health!

However...I have heard that there is a nasty strain of Dockeritis going around out there that is affect our kind! I have had some symptoms myself lately...but I have found that daily applications of lipstick and the use of nylon stockings can temporarily relive some of the symptoms!

Morgan

PS - Seriously...its because hockey season is just around the corner. Its hard to crossdress in the locker room eh?

[Chantelle CD]

Hey Karren

I dont know your situation, and is not for me to judge, may i say, or ask, you have stated in a few replies i have read, that you dont feel you know what a woman feels, or that you do not feel you are one. Perhaps, maybe this is a denial of sorts?? Maybe the next step is to start believing what you are feeling??? Maybe, or i may be way off base on this. I only dress because i feel the woman inside of me, cant imagine doing it just because, would have no drive for me if i didnt.

[Stephanie Stephens]

Karren...Karren...Karren...raw raw raw,

Stephanie

[Veronica Fallon]

Hmmm... I wonder if our naturally occurring levels of both, estrogen & testosterone can fluctuate enough to lessen our dressing desires? I have periods of several days in a row where I feel so totally feminine that I imagine I'm actually transitioning from the inside-out! :daydreaming:
Then there are other times my femininity seems more deeply buried beneath the surface, & dressing feels like more hassle than it's worth. :eek:
Aside from certain times with obvious extenuating circumstances (tired, grumpy, etc.), I've never been able to explain my variance of dressing desires, other than possible chemical changes in my body. Does anyone have factual data about this, or am I just being a silly girl?? :heehee:

Very femme today,

Veronica

[Sam-antha]

Veronica has the idea right Karren. Dressing is rahter like sex, you either can or cannot however much you may/may not want to.
You sugggested age... well it does slow things a bit, health more than anything apart from the weather.
Feel ill and you do not even think about it.
Be ill without feeling it and you do not want to however much you think of it. Primarily for me the weather....
Buy yourself a new pair of heel, a slinky skirt and get them on with the right bra and the cultivated wig. If that don't do it then :drink:or another

~Samm

[Karren H]

Well I'm hearing what your all saying but its complicated.. I think what it boils down to that my male life is just plain vanilla, grade-A boreing.. Lol. Truthfully, plain and simple.. And going out enfemme was exciting from two points.. Being dressed up and getting away with it..

So the lust to dressed has waned.. I do so miss the thrill it brought to walk down the street, or mall, or park or casino, knowing that I was doing something that I wasn't supposed to be doing.. And that others around me wouldn't think of doing.. It made me feel special in a ways.. Different for sure.. A rebel.. Maybe.. And as compared to the daily ho-hum life it sure was fun!!!

Maybe its why I love to go underground so much... Its exciting and your life is on the line every minute....

And I've got boxs of heels, and. Enough lingerie to last a life time. But it doesn't do a thing for me right now...

So now I'm going to try crossdressing for a copletely different reason.. Not because I like to wear womens clothing ... Because I'm simply BORED!!!! Lol

Karren

Ohhh and Roxi - Smashbox Photo Finish is a foundation primer sold at Ulta and Sephora... costs about $40 for a small bottle but it gets rave reviews on MUT - www.makeuptalk.com

[Veronica Fallon]

I do so miss the thrill it brought to walk down the street, or mall, or park or casino, knowing that I was doing something that I wasn't supposed to be doing.. And that others around me wouldn't think of doing.. It made me feel special in a ways.. Different for sure.. A rebel.. Maybe.. And as compared to the daily ho-hum life it sure was fun!!!

Hmmm.... so you like the "daredevil" aspect of crossdressing Karren?

I remember seeing a site called "Extreme Crossdressing" or something similar a while back. It featured a young crossdresser doing things like mountain-biking, rock-climbing, etc. while dressed. Maybe you should just try something more daring... like going out in a totally mis-matched outfit :eek:, or wearing your most frumpy dress with a wild "glam" make-up job, ...or perhaps your most elegant evening dress with muddy hiking boots! I'm sure doing that would help keep your legendary adventures alive! Whattaya think?

Hopefully Helpful,

Veronica

[Alice B]

Welcome back, not that you were really gone. I always look forward to your posts, opinions and adventures. Gives me hope and courage as I get deeper into becoming Alice.:hugs:

[Karren H]

lmis-matched outfit, or wearing your most frumpy dress with a wild "glam" make-up job, ...or perhaps your most elegant evening dress with muddy hiking boots! I'm sure doing that would help keep your legendary adventures alive! Whattaya think?


Hmmmm Now there's an idea... But a few minor problems... I don't own a frumpy dress!! Lol. And mis-match.. Ohhh please!!! Like I'll EVER do that!! :D. And get something pretty, dirty on purpose........... Only if you pay for the dry cleaning bill!! Hehe.

I was thinking ...... Done the sky diving bit and except for a few seconds of pure terror and a leg ripping landing.. Don't want to do that again.. Maybe crossdressing in outerspace? Pink space suit.... Wonder how big the closet is on the space station anyway?? Lol. And do they have a unisex restroom to change in? :)

When I slacked off I still had riding the subway enfemme and going to a museum enfemme on my plate so may just start where I left off and see what happens...

Ya never know!! Mountain biking enfemme in the subway, but dressed to kill!! :tongueout

Karren

[Veronica Fallon]

Outer space huh? Sounds cool Karren! I'll bet with the lowered gravity you could easily get around in your 6" heels. I also heard Venus is having a huge sale soon, on everything for women! I even found an appropriate outfit for you...

http://i243.photobucket.com/albums/ff269/VeronicaFallon/Barb-002.jpg

...be sure & send us a postcard dear!!

Galactic Hugz,

Veronica

[BarbaraTalbot]

And get something pretty, dirty on purpose........... Only if you pay for the dry cleaning bill!! Hehe.

I say we pass the hat.

Dee showed me this site (trashthedress or some such) were girls roll around in the muck in allegedly their actual wedding dresses rather than heirlooming them. There was also a prom dress section, which I found erm, interesting.

hmmm now where was that site??

[Sam-antha]

knowing that I was doing something that I wasn't supposed to be doing..

it sure was fun!!!


There you are, go rob a bank

[Veronica Fallon]

I found it....

http://www.flickr.com/groups/extremecrossdressing/

...and it looks like any of us could join & post pics there too. I guess it's time to dust off my "Wonder Woman" costume & strap on the hang-glider!!

Weeee.....

Veronica

[Sandygal]

Oh my God! How did I miss out on this idea? The perfect thing for a excitement needing crossdresser. You need to join a female hockey team.

[kassandra richard]

I found it....

http://www.flickr.com/groups/extremecrossdressing/

...and it looks like any of us could join & post pics there too. I guess it's time to dust off my "Wonder Woman" costume & strap on the hang-glider!!


Looks like that site was inspired by the antics of Siobhan Curran from tranniefesto.co.uk (http://www.tranniefesto.co.uk). A quick glance showed a couple of members of the UK Angels group. Siobhan, a couple of years ago, had a series of photos from traipsing around Scotland at her former SO's parent's place. She was climbing a tree and jumping in creeks in a wedding gown. A bit of a nutter that one :) What with all her drinking and smoking you would think she was Irish (which she is :) )

Kassandra

[Kate Simmons]

Hmm--Somehow I think this is like forcing an oyster to make pearls.:happy:

[Michelle (Oz)]

So the lust to dressed has waned.. I do so miss the thrill it brought to walk down the street, or mall, or park or casino, knowing that I was doing something that I wasn't supposed to be doing.. And that others around me wouldn't think of doing.. It made me feel special in a ways.. Different for sure.. A rebel.. Maybe.. And as compared to the daily ho-hum life it sure was fun!!!

So now I'm going to try crossdressing for a copletely different reason.. Not because I like to wear womens clothing ... Because I'm simply BORED!!!! Lol

Losing interest in going out en femme is something that really worries me. I have such pleasure and FUN dressing that not to have that pleasure would leave a great hole in my life. Your experience Karen therefore troubles me and I truly hope that you will find the vigor again.

My opportunities to dress come when I'm travelling. I always try to fit in breakfast dressed but getting up early to do the make up when I've had just a few hours sleep is very difficult. I do get up and I never regret the effort!! You won't either Karen.

One thing that I have worked on is reducing the time it takes to get ready. I have it down to less than 45 mins with full make up and less than 60 mins if I have to shower and shave as well. That has made a big difference in reducing the "burden" of dressing.

Whereas a liitle of the thrill has gone from dressing, I now have a number of friends (mostly GGs) that I have made while dressed. This is changing the focus on my dressing to spending time with friends who know and accept me.

I do enjoy flying en femme for the thrill/validation but I sure like the idea of going to a theme park in a skirt.

Let us know the outcome of your "comeback".

Michelle (Oz)

[Marcie Sexton]

You need to jump right back in and be the girl we all know and love...

[Andi]

Karren must be under a spell. Maybe it was the lunar eclipse we had recently. Come on karren, you can shake this thing. You're our inspiration!!:love:

[Mary L]

I'm curious how many others have felt like Karren. I'm a bit older than she and resonate with her current state of mind. Beginning in May, I had a total of about 9 days all to myself, several of them consecutively, and never dressed. As Karren stated, the feeling of excitement and desire to costume myself just had waned. It has not really returned. This is the first time in two months that I have looked at this website. Don't know why. Interesting.

[BarbaraTalbot]

I found it....

http://www.flickr.com/groups/extremecrossdressing/

...and it looks like any of us could join & post pics there too. I guess it's time to dust off my "Wonder Woman" costume & strap on the hang-glider!!

Weeee.....

Veronica

Oh, I am SO in!!! I've just got to figure out which skirt is short enough to be interesting but long enough to be modest whilst draped over the lip of a dumpster. Dumpster-diving in Drag for at Dunkin Donuts.... Nice alliteration, but NAW that would put me back up a dress size or two.

Seriously though, Karren. I would echo the sentiments of those here that have been inspired or enjoyed living vicariously through your commando dressing, but I ' think you need the pressure. Do it when you feel like it, and it doesn't have to be a new high (low?). Put on a dress and a pair of heel and poke a little quiet fun at society as you glide past them unawares.

[Ruth]

Well, I CD because I need to, and it's difficult for me to understand the idea of forcing myself to CD. Without the inbuilt desire, CDing would seem to me just an awkward and inconvenient pastime that would most likely cause trouble. No reason at all to do it.
If you've lost the desire, why not just move on and fill your life with other things?