My time to be...

[robynlane]

Hey Girls,
I've been a member here for months now, yet have only rarely posted. But I've been here reading, so loving all the postings! Considering what's going on this week for me, seems time I share a bit. I'm a 36 year old, single tg girl who up until about 6 months ago was forever battling my desire, my need to express my femininity. Can't begin to tell of how many times I've pruged, trying to live up to what's expected of me. Then on my birthday last October I had one of those preverbal "moments of clarity." I asked myself the simple question: What do I want for MY life? Who do I really want to be???? The answer took about a nanosecond: I want to be a woman, I simply want to be myself.

Fast-forward to today: My closet and dresser drawers are overflowing with clothes from Victoria's Secret, Newport News, JC Penney's, etc. And my bathroom speaks nothing but that of a women's, with makeup piled in every direction. My body is COMPLETELY shaved, and I've WONDERFUL breast forms from the Breast Form Store (filling my 36D cups)... And now as I'm writing this, I'm as fully femme as I know to be, from my Revlon Red nails and pearl-drop earrings, to my Mootsies Tootsies heels. I'm lucky to have enough money to be comfortable and have the freedom to be as I wish. Not to say I don't work... Hardly! And that's really the hardest part of all of this. Combining my work-a-day "real" life with this private femme world of mine. I know, I know: Join the club! Anyway, just wanted to share what's going on here for me this week. I'm on vacation from work and have the next week to be as femme as possible. I'm on my third day now of nonstop femininity and am having so much fun in my freedom!!!! It's just so AMAZING to live hour-after-hour as the woman I so feel myself to be, to go to bed in my nightgown, to awaken to experience a lipstick-marked coffee mug and hours of private primping and refining... everything that any woman might enjoy.

That I have deprived myself of this at any point of my life is nothing but a testament to our insane, almost inbred, societal beliefs that the norm is only where "correct" happiness can be found. Such craziness! So please know that somewhere here in Portland, Oregon, there is a girl who has found herself.... one who has found the freedom to experience all the joys of womanhood! The next step is, or course... hormones. I'm now reading all I can about this next, almost certain path of mine. Such a scary forrest of impossibilities on this path, I know. I only hope I have the strength to walk it.

Would love to hear from you!

Robyn

[crispy]

you sound so relaxed and at peace with yourself. That's a wonderful place to be. Welcome to the family. This is home. Take care.

[Holly]

Robyn,

All I can say is be true to you. Sounds as if you know the direction you're headed. That in and of itself is a great step forward. Looking forward to hearing more of your journey.

[Tiffy]

Robyn, Girl you sure sound like you know what you want and are going after it. Then I look forward to hearing about your journey. Happy traveling :)

Kisses, April

[Wendy me]

hi girlfreind the the way i see things is if you in any shape or form can find happeness thats a win for shure .........girlfreind sounds like you won ............way to go..............

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Robyn,

Way cool, you know what you want and are going for the gold.You're a winner.

Love and Hugs,
Priscilla

[Sharon]

Hi Robyn, I'm so glad you've decided to join the forum. It's almost frightning how familiar your story is, so I think I understand your feelings almost exactly!
I hope we get to hear much more from you!

[robynlane]

Was so wonderful to hear back from so many of you who share my experience and needs... and such support! Thank you all so much! Being able to share this crazy world of mine means just about EVERYTHING!

Last week was so wonderful to FINALLY live for a full week, day-in and day-out, as my femme self. (Recall, I had an ENTIRE WEEK OFF!) Here's how it went, hoping you all might find this interesting...

It was such a wonderful week!!!! Good lord, to awaken all a'glitter with my breast forms and bra all in place in my wonderful white-lace nightgown and wearing full makeup... Yes, I know... a girl should NEVER go to bed wearing her makeup. Ok... Shoot me! But it was so much fun! And I'm here to tell you that NOTHING compares to just lounging around on a stormy morning finding nothing to do but play in the bathroom with a lipstick-marked coffee mug, wonderful music blaring, and only untold hours of new outfits to explore and try on. It was such heaven! For the first time I experienced what it's like to really live as a woman.

But on a more serious note, it was really quite a transitional period of me, for what I found was not just a time to play, but a time to be, a time to better understand myself. As a 36 year old transgendered person, this time really helped to congeal my dreams with my reality. What I found was not so much excitement, but fulfillment. I really did become the woman I so long to be, a world that really needs to be mine. Can't say enough how hard it was to pull off my wig and glorious breasts when I had to return to my everyday life this past Monday. It was like pulling off an arm, a part of myself that so much belonged.

But it's the weekend now, and my time is once again my own. After a long bubble bath this morning, I've again returned to my wondrous, feminine self. Monday may come, but for now I have, once again, a world where all is as it should be... a world where I actually feel I could fit in.

And, WOW! Girls! I've just got from the Breast Form Store some adhesive to attach my wonderful breast forms! Haven't tried them yet, but am really looking forward to this experience tonight. I've a number of dresses that will be AMAZING to wear bra-less!

Ok, enough sharing for now. Hope I didn't go on too much. Would love to hear from any of you, would love to hear of your own experiences, your own trials and tribulations with all of this...

Loving you all so much,

Robyn

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

b4 u buy any hormones PLEASE do alot of research about them and how they all affect ur liver,, i cant take them because of my liver,, so do some online reseach for herbal supplements. :D why cant u let ur work know about robyn???????????? good luck and have fun u only live once :D

[Shining Star]

enjoy your self and be happy

[Like2BAspen]

Your georgeous you should stay as you are all the time. I could only imagine how you feel. I don't see why anyone at work would have a problem with you. You would probably make all the girls jelous.

[w2bejessica]

Robyn
I really enjoyed reading your story. I just today I had a day like the week you had. I slept in with wearing a teddy to bed. I got up and took a long bubble bath with candles along the bath tub. I got out and put on some stocking with a garter belt and high heels, with a very sexy skirt with a sexy top with my breast forms and put all my make-up on and stayed dressed all day. I feel so good inside. I am almost thinking about blowing everything off tomorrow and doing the same thing. Once again I enjoy reading about what all the girlfriends are doing and what makes us feel so good
Jessica