Totally Busted

[JoAnnDallas]

Up till now, my wife did not know that I am a CDer. She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered.
Well over the Labor Day weekend, I was lounging around wearing one of my Lady’s Hanes T-shirt and shorts. I was laying on the couch watching TV. She comes by, stops, looks at me and says, “Are you wearing PANTIES?” The first thought was “OH SH…..”, my next was "Dam...they must be showing", but I stayed calm and said “Yes, my rash has come back and I decided to see if your undies would not chaff me like my shorts do and so far it seems to be working”. She stares at me for what seem to be forever and then walks away. Later while we are eating lunch, I asked her if she was OK. Then she drops the bombshell, “Are you into Cross Dressing?” With my hands shaking a little I said, “Yes”. She then asked me if this was something I just recently started or have I been doing this for a long time. I said, No, that I had been doing this off and on since I was 10 years old or so and that until recently I kept it hidden. She asked why come out now. I answered that for a long time, I was ashamed of what I was and it was only since 2005 that I discovered that it was OK to be this way. I also told her that I decided to slowly integrate this, as I did not want to spring this on her all at once. I told her I had done a lot of reading and research on the Internet and that I found out that a lot of men are like myself and that a lot of them are also married. She then said that many of the things I had been doing lately, now makes sense. She then asked me if I have dress all the way. I said, “Yes”. Again I asked her if she was OK with this. She was silent for a while and then said, “Yes, but I’m not ready to see you fully dressed or have you do this 24/7”.
We let it go for then until the next day and she said that she was going to rearrange her workout schedule so I could have a couple of Saturday mornings or afternoons for myself. I could not believe she said that, so I just went over to her, hugged her, kissed her, and thanked her. Then later we had to go to WalMart and she asked me if the panties I had on had lace on top or not. I said, “No lace”. She then said, those are size 8 and we went to the ladies area. She then said, "you want all white or colored panties". Being takened back a little, I asked if colored be OK. She then picks up a six-pack of assorted plain colored satin panties in size 8. She then said, “No more wearing mine”. I said, “OK”.
I am still shocked. No screaming, No hollering, No mass crying. Don’t know what the future holds, but for now I will tread real easy and see how it goes.

[Rhonda480]

Congratualtions....you are very lucky. It does not always go that well.
Enjoy it...:thumbsup:

[Vicky_Scot]

Up till now, my wife did not know that I am a CDer. She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered.

You do all of the above and she has never questioned you before she catches you wearing her panties. Sorry but I find that very difficult to believe.

[Tonks]

I remember the first time I told my Mom that I crossdressed. All she could respond with was the question, "Are you gay?" After the nth time, I finally dropped it.

Later I entered her room wearing a skirt and all she could say was "Are you sure you're not gay?"

Anyway it's been years since that event and I've never brought it up again. She has never brought up the subject again and acts like it never happened. It's one of my most disappointing moments with my Mom because I expected her to help me out. Fortunately at the time when I brought it up, she did seemed to care a little. She was worried that some jerk would beat me up or kill me for wearing girl's clothing.

[BarbaraTalbot]

Talk about little by little...

kinda funny to almost see a light bulb going off in her head.

In a way, being open about all of your 'grooming' habits a little bit at a time, sort of paved the way. Not really what I would think would be that effective a way of letting her know, but it sure worked out great in the end.

I would guess that she already had the idea in her head, found it hard to fathom and suppressed until the opportunity screamed out for the question.

I would think over time, her curiosity (strangely dormant here-to-fore) will get the better of her and she will want to see you dress. All at her speed and interest I would say.

continued good luck!

[Karren H]

Well I for one can't imagine how she didn't know!! With your VS Angle card and all!! Lol. Glad its working out way better than the norm.. Lucky girl!!

Karren

[Julie York]

She's known for ages.

[Sonia Kiss]

Up till now, my wife did not know that I am a CDer. She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered.

You do all of the above and she has never questioned you before she catches you wearing her panties. Sorry but I find that very difficult to believe.

Oh, I imagined she questioned in her mind long ago, and perhaps since then has even researched the subject a little bit. I'm struck by how appropriate her questions were! Not "are you gay?" but "are you a cross dresser?"

JoAnn,

This does sound very good! You must be feeling so much better to get this out in open, and even more to have your wife be up to the challenges of working on acceptance and compromise. ("No more wearing mine." Hehe. love it.)

Hugs,
Sonia

[JoAnnDallas]

skirt_lover..........Many things have dual meaning and uses. As for my acrylic nails, I have always had bad nails that split, cracked, and peeled. Thus the acrylic nails. She was the one that suggested I get acrylic nails. The painted toes were result of a remark wife said one day. I had deceided to get a pedicure, so after I got home she joking asked what color I got my toes in. I had not gotten any color, so next time I got a pedicure, I asked the tech to color my toes bright red. I showed my wife and she just rolled her eyes. I have had my toes painted every sense. As for the T-shirts and shorts, Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts are unisex and I like the shorter t-shirts better than long ones. As for my arms/chest/legs, I get a skin rash where I use a perscription lotion on them. It leaves a stick residue on the hair, so I shave my legs/chest/arms to counter that. As for the panties, I have been wearing panties for almost a year. Only in the last month have I started wearing shorts, so while laying on the couch, the only thing I coud think of was my shorts must have ridden up enough that they showed.

[loardata]

joann:when my wife found out years ago she was ok with the waearing womens underware and bras.at home or in public if nothing showed. but it embarrassed her if my strasps showed to others. but i would not listen. finally it lead to a 3 month separation. we are back together now and she is ok with it as long as i am discrete. i wish she was more accepting but this is the way it is and that is ok. consider your self lucky--hugs from michille:cheer:

[Julie York]

It's all starting to sound rather odd.

Wife suggested acrylic nails for split nails. She must be one of the very few women on the planet who would consider REALLY suggesting her man gets acrylic nails. A bit of moisteriser would be first on the list.

Wife asked what colour to paint your toes nails jokingly. Painted toenails ever since and not a raised eyebrow.


Wearing a crop top T-shirt and she says nothing?

She isn't in a coma is she?:D

[DonnaT]

Whew http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_6_218v.gif

Well, we knew the day was coming she'd put it together.

Keep it to baby steps for now.

[Toyah]

I agree with Julie she has known for ages and duh you should have told her ages ago its not like you were exactly hiding it now you have got yourself in the classic what else is he not telling me trap take care I hope it goes well but I have my doubts sorry :hugs:

[KarenSusan]

Whew http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_6_218v.gif

Well, we knew the day was coming she'd put it together.

Keep it to baby steps for now.

I've been following your progress for awhile also, JoAnn. Congratulations. I hope everything works out for you.

[Fitzkim]

I remember when I told my wife about my CDing, I asked if she ever had a clue? She said no, and all I can think is, girl you have been in total denial! Have you not noticed all your clothes, your makeup, your dresser in different spots when you come home?

[Talon DeRojo]

JoAnn - We've PM'ed before and I've read most of your posts. From your descriptions of your activities I figured that your wife had to know. I'm amazed and very happy for you that your "secret" is out and your wife seems to be OK with it!
You go girl!
Talon:happy:

[Missy Anne]

JoAnn,

Sounds like everything will go just fine from here on.

Missy Anne

[Cindi Johnson]

Sometimes a wife knows with her heart but refuses to "know" with her head because she doesn't want her world to collapse. Her fear is that her husband, who she chose until "death do we part", is gay or TS. (Few, it seems, know that a straight man would ever crossdress.) It seems you've educated your wife well.

I wish you luck. It's a one-way road you're on; dressing less or not dressing at all may prove very difficult after you've tasted a bit of CD freedom, particularly if you're fairly passable and enjoy going out dressed.

Best of luck.

Cindi Johnson

[Lori SC]

I am still shocked. No screaming, No hollering, No mass crying. Don’t know what the future holds, but for now I will tread real easy and see how it goes.

JoAnn,

In my opinion, you should find out if your wife wants to talk more about this or not. Usually women beat a subject to death by talking about it - especially if it's something bothering them. However, she may not want to talk about your CDing right now. So you need to find out which it is - How? I suggest asking her directly.

If you continue to make her comfortable right now (answering all her concerns by taking), it will be smooth sailing for you in the future. Comunication goes a long way in any relationship.

Oh, You are one lucky dog you know!

Hugs, Lori

[Dayna]

:2c:

Whether your wife knew or not... I guess only she knows for sure. But, If you lounge around in a Hanes Her Way t-shirt and panties, with your painted nails and shaved legs / chest, should you REALLY be surprised that she noticed?! I'd be shocked if she didn't!

Like I heard the cheating husband say on the TV movie last night: If a guy does not want to get caught, he won't.

Me thinks you laid a 'trap'... I'm happy that it has worked out for you thus far, JoAnn. Now, quit acting so naive and take advantage of an understanding spouse--she bought you panties, you go buy her flowers and dinner!!

[crunchysoda]

I think she had to be in denial. If my husband had brittle/cracked/split nails or whatever, Id never suggest he go get acrylic nails. That just doesnt seem like a "typical" solution, by any stretch of the imagination.

A lot of guys would not care, nor would their wives.

It's unfortunate that you didnt tell her from the get go, instead of dropping hints like giant loaves of bread on your trail.

It's weird how some gurls finally come out to their so/wife/gf and say "oh we went shopping", but later the gg is freaking out.
It just hasnt sunk in yet. It's mind boggling for the vast majority of us.

one thing might not be a big deal but all of those things together??
Really now.

And I think it's a double slap in the face to one not tell her about your CDing but then wear her clothes/undies?? That's just not ladylike.

I wish you both luck, really I truly do.

[Zee]

she bought you panties, you go buy her flowers and dinner!!

Probably the best advice you will ever get...

[KewTnCurvy GG]

Up till now, my wife did not know that I am a CDer. She does know that I like to wear Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts. She also lets me have long acrylic nails and painted toes. She also knows that I shave my legs/chests/arms. She also knows that once a month I like to go to my nail salon, have a pedicure/manicure/fill/toes polished/eyebrows waxed, and get pampered.

With absolute total and due respect; if you did all these things and she didn't think or know you're a cd'er what did she think you did any of that for? How could she NOT have known honestly!
Wow, that seems odd, truly.
Kew

[Joni Beauman]

I had switched to women's underwear (and tights or pantyhose in winter) long before the "incident of discovery" without any comparable alarm. So while denial seems fitting, I think with spouses this topic must sometimes need to be a sort of stochastic event that leads to open discussion as it must not be that easy to talk about otherwise.

Taking it slow at this stage is probably good advise, too.

Joni

[Emily Ann Brown]

What did I tell you months ago sis??? SHE KNEW !!!!!! When are you gonna listen to your big sister ??!!!!!

Ex told me after the discovery that she should have known about me because all the signs were there. Your wife has just been refusing to believe the total she kept coming up with when she did the math.


Emily Ann

[JoAnnDallas]

Thank you all for your comments. Many have suggested that I pushed to the envolope to get caught. You may be right. I do have to put one thing correct. It was not the wife that suggested I get acylic nails. We were at the nail salon, she was getting a pedicure, I was getting a manicure and she asked Tina, our nail tech, if there was something she could do to help my nails. So Tina took one good look at them and when she was finished, I had ten new acrylic nails. Tina told my wife that I would not have any more problems as long as she maintained my nails.
Last night was scary. It was like a normal night. Normal questions, like "How was your day", "How is the move coming", ( we just moved the entire company 35 north to a new building). I keep waiting for the other foot to drop. LOL She made only one comment last night, "Are you new undies compy". I said, "Yes they are".
Our 26 wedding anniversity is this weekend, so I plan to take her to the Winstar Casino for the weekend. The casino is just inside the border of Oklahoma, on the Choctoa Indaian Reservation. I am calling the Hotel part to see if I can upgrade our room to a suite.

[Emily Ann Brown]

You better upgrade to the penthouse hun !


Emily Ann

[kristyz]

Which nail salon do you vist?

[Slip Affinity]

It's all starting to sound rather odd. Wife suggested acrylic nails for split nails.

I would have thought Knox gelatin or something like that would have been her 1st suggestion.

[JoAnnDallas]

It's funny, I showed at work with my acrylic nails and all the ladies thought that my hands look great and now two other men in the front office now have acrylic nails. So guess I started a fad. LOL

[Alice B]

I would not say you were totally busted, rather say you were totally accepted. That is a rare and wonderful event and you two should have soem great adventures over time. Keep us posted.:heehee:

[crunchysoda]

I would have thought Knox gelatin or something like that would have been her 1st suggestion.

that's a myth =)


It's funny, I showed at work with my acrylic nails and all the ladies thought that my hands look great and now two other men in the front office now have acrylic nails. So guess I started a fad. LOL

Must be somethin' in the water. :heehee:

I hope yall have a great time at the casino. Treat her like a princess.

[Vicky_Scot]

Thank you all for your comments. Many have suggested that I pushed to the envolope to get caught. You may be right. I do have to put one thing correct. It was not the wife that suggested I get acylic nails. We were at the nail salon, she was getting a pedicure, I was getting a manicure and she asked Tina, our nail tech, if there was something she could do to help my nails. So Tina took one good look at them and when she was finished, I had ten new acrylic nails. Tina told my wife that I would not have any more problems as long as she maintained my nails.
Last night was scary. It was like a normal night. Normal questions, like "How was your day", "How is the move coming", ( we just moved the entire company 35 north to a new building). I keep waiting for the other foot to drop. LOL She made only one comment last night, "Are you new undies compy". I said, "Yes they are".
Our 26 wedding anniversity is this weekend, so I plan to take her to the Winstar Casino for the weekend. The casino is just inside the border of Oklahoma, on the Choctoa Indaian Reservation. I am calling the Hotel part to see if I can upgrade our room to a suite.

Why then did you state in this post that it was her idea.



skirt_lover..........Many things have dual meaning and uses. As for my acrylic nails, I have always had bad nails that split, cracked, and peeled. Thus the acrylic nails. She was the one that suggested I get acrylic nails. The painted toes were result of a remark wife said one day. I had deceided to get a pedicure, so after I got home she joking asked what color I got my toes in. I had not gotten any color, so next time I got a pedicure, I asked the tech to color my toes bright red. I showed my wife and she just rolled her eyes. I have had my toes painted every sense. As for the T-shirts and shorts, Lady Hanes T-shirts and shorts are unisex and I like the shorter t-shirts better than long ones. As for my arms/chest/legs, I get a skin rash where I use a perscription lotion on them. It leaves a stick residue on the hair, so I shave my legs/chest/arms to counter that. As for the panties, I have been wearing panties for almost a year. Only in the last month have I started wearing shorts, so while laying on the couch, the only thing I coud think of was my shorts must have ridden up enough that they showed.

[Katrina]

Wow...all I have to say is wow. I thought she knew, based on all the stories you told. Wow.

[SherriePall]

JoAnn -- It was just a matter of time. Good Luck and treat her well.

[Cindi Ann Kelly]

I envy you! I have somewhat strict rules to follow,
but they are acceptable and it works.

cindi ann

[SandyR]

I gota tell you, mine knew too, and before I could tell her, she busted me. Well almost 1 year into it doing well....

Hugs.

SandyR

[TxKimberly]

Weclome to the world where you don't have to hide it anymore. Feels great to have that off your bac doesn't it?
Congrats and my best wishes for you both!

[Jennaie]

JoAnn:

Sounds to me like you have very understanding wife. You have been coming here for some time and I am happy for you that she is showing her compassion for your needs. Best of Luck.

[JoAnnDallas]

Thank you all for you kind comments. I still feel kinda werid. LOL Again things were normal last night. I guess as the days go on, I will lose this "waiting for the other foot to drop" feeling I have. I expect wife and I will do some more talking while we are at the Casino this weekend. So many of my CD friends have not had a good out come when their wifes found out that it still feels werid that mine is not as upset as I though she would be.
I was able to get our room at the Casino upgraded to a Suite, so that is all taken care of. I also made reservations at the main Restaurant for Saturday night.

[JoAnnDallas]

Well our aniversity weekend went great. Wife really enjoyed herself. On the way home we stopped at the Fashion Outlet Mall. She kept telling me I could browse if I wanted too. So I did, but either they wanted too much or I did not like what I looked at. Then we went into the Lingerie store. She asked if I needed anything. I said, "No not at this time", but I did browse. Later we talked some more and she said that what I am doing, is not that different when son and I would goto SciFi cons, dress in customes, and role play. That was harmless and so is what I am doing.
I felt a lot calmer after she saying that. Dressing is harmless and is a kind of role playing. Son and I would goto D&D games, dressed in customed, but so did the other players. SciFi cons are like year round Halloween days. LOL

[Eileen]

JoAnn you definately need to pamper this wonderful lady. She is very special. Hope the future only gets better!

Eileen

[Emily Ann Brown]

Dearest sister JoAnn.......


I AM SO TOTALLY JEALOUS !!!!

(If you feel the least bit guilty I will let you pay one month alimony for me ....giggle giggle).


Emily Ann

[Sheri 4242]

If you feel the least bit guilty I will let you pay one month alimony for me ....giggle giggle.


:lol2: Emily Ann -- you almost owed me a new laptop -- cola feels funny spewing through your nose -- until, that is, you notice it heading towards your laptop! :lol2:

[Mary Morgan]

I believe you owe her big time. How about surprising her with something that she would really like? Something unusual, like arranging to have all of the windows cleaned inside and out, maid service to clean the house, taking her away for a nice weekend, and letting her know how much you love and appreciate her?

[Missy Anne]

JoAnn,

Sounds like you have already proven yourself in the past to be a great husband to her so why would she make a big deal out of it? After the initial shock wears off, of course.

Missy Anne

[racquel]

Such a great story,you both seem like your mated for life.I love it:love: