Full time, no hormones, no surgery

[Sonia Kiss]

Full time, no hormones, no surgery: that's me for four months now. I know my transition route isn't a common one, but this just felt right to me, and so far it's gone very well.

I'm wondering who else is this crazy. Have you gone full time without the aid of hormones or surgery? I'd love to hear stories. How is it going for you in general? Why are you taking this route? Do you plan to keep doing this indefinitely? What factors help you succeed at it? What challenges do you face? What incidents--positive or negative--have been notable?

I love telling my story, but I thought I'd toss this question out and see if others would like to go first.

Sonia

[Kieron Andrew]

ive been living fulltime as 'him' out to all i meet new for well over a year now, in fact *checks calender* well over 2 years :D

no i dont plan to do it indefinitely, i will eventually transition in the fullest sense

[GypsyKaren]

I was full time for 6 months before I started hormones, and it was a year before I scheduled my GRS. Sonia, whatever way is comfortable for you is the right way, there's no rule book to tell you what to do and when to do it.

Karen Starlene

[misstoni]

I'm just curious as to why you would go this route.

Not to sound judgemental, I am by far no expert on the subject. With all due respect, it just sounds like this way is making something that is already hard even harder. Please share:happy::happy:

[GypsyKaren]

I'm just curious as to why you would go this route.

Not to sound judgemental, I am by far no expert on the subject. With all due respect, it just sounds like this way is making something that is already hard even harder. Please share:happy::happy:

You'll always finish the race even if you only take one step at a time.

Karen Starlene

[Cara Allen]

I don 't think it's crazy, at all! I do think that for some girls, it isn't an option, as they may may not be as passable as you are (lucky girl!) and their jobs may not be right for the transition... Are you full time at work, too? If you live for a while and it is not right for you, there is no loss. Quite a few girls do this, and that is where the term 'Transgendered" started. It has since been morphed into meaning anyone with a gender condition... It meant people who have decided to just go for it and live full time without all of the hassles of therapists, horemones, etc. Good luck! Hope you keep us posted!


Full time, no hormones, no surgery: that's me for four months now. I know my transition route isn't a common one, but this just felt right to me, and so far it's gone very well.

I'm wondering who else is this crazy. Have you gone full time without the aid of hormones or surgery? I'd love to hear stories. How is it going for you in general? Why are you taking this route? Do you plan to keep doing this indefinitely? What factors help you succeed at it? What challenges do you face? What incidents--positive or negative--have been notable?

I love telling my story, but I thought I'd toss this question out and see if others would like to go first.

Sonia

[Sonia Kiss]

I'm just curious as to why you would go this route.

Not to sound judgemental, I am by far no expert on the subject. With all due respect, it just sounds like this way is making something that is already hard even harder. Please share:happy::happy:

Hi Toni,

The short answer is that I'm not quite ready for hormones, but I going full time was an option for me, so I just dove in.

My story is a bit unusual in that I discovered I was trans so late. I dressed for the first time barely a year ago, but then just thew myself into it, trying to learn and experience everything as fast as possible. It was such an obsession that after just a few months, I started investigating the possibility of coming to work dressed. After several months working things out with HR, the path seemed to be as clear as it would get, so I decided to be brave and do it.

Perhaps I do have an unusually accepting environment. The cities where I live, work, and shop are very liberal and progressive. I do scientific work that involves very little interaction with the public. So, there's not much pressure to be heteronormative. This is not to excuse heteronormative pressure, of course, but at least it's not there "making something that is already hard even harder."

A big part of my decision to go for it was the success I'd had "blending" in public outside of work. Yes, I'd love to have all the help that comes from hormones and FFS, but I've learned I do well enough that I can go most places and not turn heads anyway. <shrug> That's enough for now.

So why not hormones yet? A number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that it seems a little sudden to be making such profound changes to my body when just last year I scoffed at the idea of merely shaving my arms. Another is that I'm working on some issues from my past and they kind of have top priority right now. I'm not currently seeing a gender therapist, but these issues are unrelated to my transition, and I know what I need to do with them, so I'm just working on first things first.

I must say though, that I'm wanting hormones more and more each day now. I've heard enough about the effects, and I want them. I used to read about the effects and think, "cool! I could go for that." Now I read accounts of HRT, and it makes me long badly for the experience. So, I think hormones are in my future, just not quite yet. ...Not sure how long I can wait!

Meanwhile, being full time is great for me because I feel like I'm making progress in my transition. Every day I get socialization experience and I learn little things about being a woman. I hear fully transitioned people say they continue to learn and grow years after transition, so I'm happy to be started. Without doing this I'm afraid my transition might stall in a place that wasn't satisfying for me.

Now, I have loved cross dressing over this last year, and I know I still have much to learn about the art and craft of cross dressing. But appearances haven't been enough for me. I've wanted the social experience of being a woman. I guess maybe it's what I've enjoyed most.

Sonia

[Madeleine]

Everyone does it the best way for them. For you, the looks are a good start.

Me, I don't have the looks so I started hormones 6 months ago and that gave me the confidence to start RLE.

(Boobs maketh the girl!)

Hugs - Maddie x

[SarahAnn]

I too have been working and living full time with no hormones and or any surgury even FFS. Working fine for me should be starting hormones within 4 weeks or thereabouts. My choice to start before any treatment as could no longer face working as a male simple as realy.........and in full public display everyday at work so cant hide :heehee:

hope your experience works out as well as mine.

Sarah

[ZoeB]

I went fulltime a week before being authorised hormones, and only 3 weeks after dressing the first time.

I did it because I no longer passed as male. Weird endocrine system.

For me it was always about the body, not the clothes. Everyone has their own path: for some the destination is surgery, for others not.

Zoe

[DianaGomez]

I went fulltime a week before being authorised hormones, and only 3 weeks after dressing the first time.

I did it because I no longer passed as male. Weird endocrine system.

For me it was always about the body, not the clothes. Everyone has their own path: for some the destination is surgery, for others not.

Zoe

Some girls have all the luck!

[Cara Allen]

God, you are lucky, Zoe! That is a TG's dream! Your transitioning will be sooo easy.
For most of my life, my height was a disadvantage... I am 5'7". When I started accepting myself, I discovered that my height made me a average/tall girl, but I get no stares... many gilrs taller than me!! A real negative turned into a strong positive!


I went fulltime a week before being authorised hormones, and only 3 weeks after dressing the first time.

I did it because I no longer passed as male. Weird endocrine system.

For me it was always about the body, not the clothes. Everyone has their own path: for some the destination is surgery, for others not.

Zoe

[Calliope]

Sonia,

I really enjoyed seeing your post. I can sure relate; see my latest entry ("Gender Adventures - Holyoke") for explication. Organic tranny is really the latest wave; Riki Wilchins and Bet Power are the new maryjane, dig. Judith Butler: It's what you do, not how you look. As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people; if ya "feel" like a woman, then there it is. Passing is done for society's benefit (approval); when society is cool, then all that work is unnecessary. The transition is life itself, unfolding and uncertain. "Happily ever after" always ends the narrative - and we want to live, to keep living. So, yes, dear, go your own way; yay you!

[Baley]

I am full time, no nothing, no problem. To many health risk, from what i here. I feel great beeing me.:2c::2c:

[Katrina]

...For most of my life, my height was a disadvantage... I am 5'7". When I started accepting myself, I discovered that my height made me a average/tall girl, but I get no stares... many gilrs taller than me!! A real negative turned into a strong positive!

Cara,
I have come to the same conclusion! I used to HATE how "short" I was compared to other guys. Now, I'm very happy with my height. Funny, when I started to accept myself as being TG, I also started to hate my body (hair, etc) more, but accept my height more and more.

[Sejd]

Dear sonia
Your post hit home with me. I started embracing my TG issues one year ago, and the past three month I have been full time - all the time. Like you, I live in a liberal town and I only meet smiles and helpfull people on my daily outings. I have not begun hormones, and consider myself somewhat of a "Two Spirit " person, but the longer I am full time, the more I long to bring the outer in sync with the inner me and I hope to start hormones this fall. To know more about my journey I invite you to read my posts on :
www.sejd.blogspot.com

thanks for bringing this interesting post to the forum.
:hugs:
hugs
Sejd

[melissaK]

Ladies, you all deserve a hand. =applause=. A great thread with some nice comments. As for a lifetime of crossdressed living w/o transition I recall a member Brittanygirl (do I have that right? haven't seen her post for a while) who chose that very path. It worked for her and dove tails with Calliope's point of view.

"There's a million things to be, you know that there are, you know that there are." - If you want to sing Out, by Cat Stevens. http://lyrics.rare-lyrics.com/C/Cat-Stevens/If-You-Want-To-Sing-Out.html

hugs,

lissa

[helenr]

Excellent subject. I would caution those who wish to experiment with hormones. I think it would be best to start with the anti androgens. I used the 'excuse' to myself that some Fincar would help with both benign prostate issues, slow down or reverse male pattern baldness, and I believe both issues improved. Spiro will quiet the male lust,horniness that is in contradiction of being a transgendered (I feel). Estrogen is tricky. It is amazing how small titties can develop in a matter of a few months. This may be 'our dream' but be sure that you don't want to 'go back to normal' if I can use this awkward expression. I really like estrogen's effect on slowing beard growth to about 1/2 before, finer body hair, maybe some extra padding on the derrierre, but the titties have cost me 'pool privileges' unless I wear a mesh shirt to avoid sun burn, or pick a slow time to have privacy. Hard to hide these new 'assets'. I am not unhappy, but it is important to know changes will occur. I guess the old expression "Be careful what you wish for" may apply. hugs, helen

[Marcie Sexton]

:clap::clap::clap:

I applaude you !!!

I personally think you're going at this change in your life in all the right ways...We have all seen the stories of how some of the transsexuals has went through all the steps and jumped through all the hoops to get to the srs, went through srs, then suddenly realized they had made a mistake and reverted back to their orginal gender as much as possible...For you if and when the time comes to make the decision to go through hrt and eventually srs, you will know that you are ready and have made the right decisions. This is not to devalue professional guidance, but with the route you're taking you will surely pass the acid test.

[Sally24]

Hi Sonia!

Some others feel, mistakenly I think, that hormones will "make" them a woman. As you and I both know, the woman part comes from within. As we've talked about together we are both very similar in many ways, but also very different. Other than electrolysis/laser for hair removal I don't think I'll ever go in for any permanent body modifications. I think you are wise for taking it slowly (well....taking this part slowly.LOL). You have come so far in this last year that it is incredible! I know we're our worst critics but you should know how well you do on a regular basis. I have enough trouble handling my several days a month of girl time and you're 24/7! I'm so happy this has worked out for you!

Love,

[Lady Angela]

I wish you the best.
In my case, I did go on estrogen and anti-androgens, I had facial feminization surgery, and my facial hair and chest hair removed with laser and electrolysis. I had breast implants (I have a cute shapely 36-24-34 feminine figure).
I have not yet had my sexual reasignment surgery, I am a pre-op transexual lady.
The handsome, masculine man I am with, loves me as a beautiful, feminine lady, and he is hetrosexual and loves me as his lady, but he does sort of like my "ladystick", so I might keep that. But my male genetalia is the only part of me that is still male. The rest of me is very female.
I might have my testicles removed and keep my ladystick. I could take less estrogen that way. Or I could have it all removed and be given a beautiful vagina. I haven't decided on that yet.
I know beautiful, feminine transexual women who have testicles and penis, just testicles, or vaginas. It is a matter of choice, what the T-lady wants. The man she is with might also influence her. But she has to also want it for herself. My man has told me he would love me regardless, that I am his lady.
In most U.S. States, the male gentalia has to be removed to get your legal status changed to female, if you want to marry a man, adopt children, etc..
My man and myself though, both have children from previous relationships with genetic women. And I wouldn't need to get my legal status changed to female, for us to live as husband and wife, pr for me to look, live, and act as a woman. And with all of the feminization I have had done, and my femin ine mannerisms I can easily pass as a beautiful, feminine lady. Everyone assumes I am a genetic lady, unless I tell them otherwise. Which is lovely.

[Cara Allen]

Cara,
I have come to the same conclusion! I used to HATE how "short" I was compared to other guys. Now, I'm very happy with my height. Funny, when I started to accept myself as being TG, I also started to hate my body (hair, etc) more, but accept my height more and more.

(Big smiles!) I think that, if you're very tall, you'd need to loose a bunch of weight, get the wasting away look... go for the model anorexic route. I, on the other hand, am going for the voluptuous route (giggles.)

I LOVE my height now. All those years of being picked on as a kid, had a hidden gift. All those times I read about how the key to "business" success was being tall! The more I thought about it, I was born this way for a reason (smile.) I can wear 3 inch heels, and still be shorter than most men! I have flaws, like big feet (size 11 womens, thank you, very much. At least there are occasionally some nice heels at PayLess. HINT girls... If you want larger heels off of the rack, shop in stores that are in minority areas. Black ladies have larger feet. (My apologies and sympathies to black sisters.)) I am average/tall for women. The trick, no matter the height is to be graceful, not clumsy. This could be a whole separate thread, I think.

Hair, hair, hair. I have a tip for that, too! My wife is considering being an electrologist! Now, If I can convince my son to "forget about this whole looser profession of computer programming," and consider a path in surgical gynecology, THEN talk my daughter into becoming a psychologist, I can sail through all of this transition, and not spend a dime!

Peace, Sis!

[kerrianna]

Sonia,

I really enjoyed seeing your post. I can sure relate; see my latest entry ("Gender Adventures - Holyoke") for explication. Organic tranny is really the latest wave; Riki Wilchins and Bet Power are the new maryjane, dig. Judith Butler: It's what you do, not how you look. As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people; if ya "feel" like a woman, then there it is. Passing is done for society's benefit (approval); when society is cool, then all that work is unnecessary. The transition is life itself, unfolding and uncertain. "Happily ever after" always ends the narrative - and we want to live, to keep living. So, yes, dear, go your own way; yay you!

You know, I've been feeling kind of un-nerved, confused and unsure of myself and where I am going lately, after having found a pretty certain centre I thought would hold me. I was just thinking about you today Calliope, because I remembered you took a pretty natural, organic path and seemed to emanate so strongly from your centre. I was thinking I really needed to hear some words of wisdom from you and here they are - exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. :hugs::love:

Sometimes I get feeling left behind because the more I read about hormones and physical changes the more hesitant I am to travel that route, partly because I just hate doing ANYTHING to my body. It's just how I've always been. I guess I feel fragile from being so sickly and almost dying as a kid, and also I've always been ashamed of my body so I just hide it and ignore it - well, used to. :p

But I end up feeling really stuck because I also want "'the social experience of being a woman." Some days I can almost get there as it is, but then I realize what I'm seeing and feeling inside isn't translating to everyone and I end up feeling lost entirely. It's hard to hold onto the knowledge of your inner identity when you're in society and not presenting it to others. I envy everyone who has the courage and opportunity to do that. Maybe I'll get there some day. Just staying above water is taking all my energy and focus these days.

Anyway, thanks for the alternative view Calliope. I need to remember that there are different paths of expression and living. :happy:

[GypsyKaren]

As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people;

I don't consider those who choose to remain non-op "sick", so I don't care to be considered "sick" because I choose different.

Karen Starlene

[kerrianna]

I don't consider those who choose to remain non-op "sick", so I don't care to be considered "sick" because I choose different.

Karen Starlene

Yeah, good point Karen. THAT part of Calliope's post I didn't think was worded well.

[Kieron Andrew]

As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people;

I think you are way off base here, the choice to remain non op/non therapy & hormones may be the right path for some and simply dressing may reallign their inner selves with the outer selves, but for some corrective hormone therapy can bring a sense of peace between the inner and the outer, also with surgery some feel they need reallign their physical body with that of how they feel internally, i dont see that as for sick people, i see that as focused, well adjusted people who know who they are, have a need and are doing something about it, we all take different paths no one is sick, this is the mentality of the general public and doesnt help us, Judge not, that ye shall be not judged

[kerrianna]

I think you are way off base here, the choice to remain non op/non therapy & hormones may be the right path for some and simply dressing may reallign their inner selves with the outer selves, but for some corrective hormone therapy can bring a sense of peace between the inner and the outer, also with surgery some feel they need reallign their physical body with that of how they feel internally, i dont see that as for sick people, i see that as focused, well adjusted people who know who they are, have a need and are doing something about it, we all take different paths no one is sick, this is the mentality of the general public and doesnt help us

Jeez, that was well said. I've become a babbling brook these days so I'm glad to see someone still has their head on straight. :happy:

Miss you Kieron. :hugs:

[Siobhan Marie]

As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people; if ya "feel" like a woman, then there it is.

Caliope, I do feel that you are out of line on this. People who chose not have to HRT and SRS are not sick nor are those of us who choose to do this. I know for me that I need to do these things to balance the outer me with the inner me. I for one do not consider those who are non-op to be sick.

:hugs: Siobhán x

[Calliope]

Sometimes I get feeling left behind because the more I read about hormones and physical changes the more hesitant I am to travel that route, partly because I just hate doing ANYTHING to my body.


I don't consider those who choose to remain non-op "sick", so I don't care to be considered "sick" because I choose different.


There I was enjoying my Valentine, then, pOp!, it's time to pay the piper for my indelicate wording.

Yes, Karen it might be said I am 'sick,' supersick even, because I'm refusing treatment. And, postmodernist punk that I am, I do refuse treatment. Part of my recalcitrance owes to luck, size 6, easy; part of it owes to my age, almost 50. As I see it, why does an old broad like me need to buy silky skin and bouncy boobs?

That's not say I'm in love with every aspect of my body, I'm not - and, as I see it, that dissatisfaction itself is part of the fem trip. But I'm a hippie feminist gal, I don't buy that Beauty Myth jazz, nor do I dig doctors. I want the control. Whenever I want to "feel like a woman," I just starve myself dieting for a few days.

Yasee, it's chicken-or-the-egg time (for me): If the "woman within" wants hormones or SRS (and, believe me, I've been tempted), I say just acknowledge the woman within, she's already there.

Now, I'm going to get real frustrating and momentarily stop being a postmodernist. I say the world is round. You see a therapist, you got troubles; you see a doctor, you be ailing. No one pays thousands of dollars to lie on an operating table because they is feelin' well and happy.

When I say 'sick,' I don't mean for a second sick-in-the-head, 'cause hell (as we all know) it's the world that's sick, but I am suggesting we fight the sick pressures from outside. We're already women.

(And, yes, there's lots of vain women forking over for cosmetic surgery. Whatever, there's no cure for aging, hon.) I'm taking that genderqueer express and shouting it out: It's cool to just love our (weirdo) bodies and let 'em be.

And, yeh, my wording can be really indelicate at times. I'll be sportin' overalls someday, I suspect.

[GypsyKaren]

No offense taken...the thing is this, there's no right or wrong way to this, there's only you're way, you can only do what's right for you. I was happy being a non-op for many years, but now I need more. It's not a matter of me being happy with myself or sad or whatever, it's just a matter of wanting more instead of less or the same, and I really have no choice anymore, this is how it has to be, no matter the price I have to pay.

Karen Starlene

[Calliope]

I feel no need to denigrate people taking a different path in order to justify my own decisions...

Here's my thinking. We start:


Full time, no hormones, no surgery: that's me for four months now. I know my transition route isn't a common one, but this just felt right to me, and so far it's gone very well.

I'm wondering who else is this crazy. Have you gone full time without the aid of hormones or surgery? I'd love to hear stories. How is it going for you in general? Why are you taking this route?

OK, that should give me 'permission' to sing my song. But, please note this: a few responses into this thread, Sonia starts musing:


I must say though, that I'm wanting hormones more and more each day now. I've heard enough about the effects, and I want them. I used to read about the effects and think, "cool! I could go for that." Now I read accounts of HRT, and it makes me long badly for the experience.

Seeing this situation on forums, again and again, the peer pressure, I thought I'd make it loud and clear to Sonia that it's cool to just stay put. I'm not here to offend anyone but, if there is offense taken, I still think it's worth it 'cause I want all the Sonias out there to hear the chill point of view, which is still a minority position here and elsewhere. Sorry.
:bonk:

[AmberTG]

Personally, I think both points-of view are valid, depending on the circumstances, and the person's personal needs.

[geri]

stephanie,
heh girl. are you going to get srs or grs? i'm planning on getting castrated but i was wondering if i need to be on hormones. i may or may not have the surgery in the future.
i want this transformation and like you, i want to loose weight, get some ffs surgery, have breast and butt implants but these hormones scare me.
do you think like a woman?
you seem to have your s#@t together and i need advice from someone who is there.
if you want my e-mail address, i would like to continue this conversation. i'm 65 and don't have the time to hold back.

hugs,
geri danielle

[Cara Allen]

I am going into have lap band surgery because I have been unable to loose weight. If I can loose 100lbs, I be a nice size 10 or maybe even an 8 after I am done and I am 5'11". That will be the best part. I will have a little issue with clothes because I am a 40DD/F now. So I may have my implants reduced slightly, but I love my breasts and I am such a flirt that I think I will probably just let them be. I am a pretty good seamstress so I will have to get my sewing machine out to let out my tops.

You are such a dedicated woman! Of all of the operations you've had, I'll bet the band will be the most dangerous! Please be careful, Steph. You have such a pretty face. If you loose the weight, you will have to hold off the guys with a fire hose!!!

Seriously appreciate your words concerning hormones. I am collecting information like crazy, and the orch surgery seems like a real option...

[Calliope]

I've been transitioning 4.5 years, full-time for 2 years and will soon have SRS and BAS.

[...]

I've been on many forums in the last 4 years and nomenclature is important. I've seen a few genderqueer people who claimed to be transsexual.

[...]

However, by definition if you thumb your nose at the world and are proud of appearing gender variant, you are not transsexual.

[..]

Again I say there is nothing wrong with being GQ, just remember that most here are not GQ. "Organic tranny" is just another way to say GQ.

[...]

I started therapy immediately because I wanted to do this right [...] Start hair removal ASAP because it takes time.

[...]

If you've read this far, thank you for your patience. Again I do not mean to be judgmental of anyone here. I only hope to bring some clarity to the discord on this thread.

Nope.

Sorry, doll.


I begin to hear stories of people being told they weren't 'really' transgender because they didn't want to take hormones or have surgery. It would have once seemed unbelievable, but transgender - that grand experimental umbrella for all the other misfits - has become yet another identity with its own boundaries, hierarchies, and norms.
- Riki Wilchins

Were there transsexuals prior to, say, 1920? Or do doctors get to decide? If we need 'authority' (outside of our own words), my California ID has my sex listed as F - how's that? No? Whatever.

I have not claimed going without HRT or SRS invalidates those who choose it, I've only pointed out that going organic is an option. And the peer pressure I cited - and impugned - can easily be read in your post.

Again - we (individuals) get to decide what sex we are - not some catalog, not some committee, not some 'authority.'

[GypsyKaren]

Look, this isn't a contest, there is no wrong way to live your life, so let's stop with the attempts to validate each preference.

Karen Starlene

[Calliope]

I'm not going to get into a debate into what is a "real" transsexual. As far as I'm concerned, being transsexual is about identity, and identity is self-defined. If you identify totally as a woman, but you were born in a male-identified body, then you are a transsexual woman - regardless of what steps you take to fix the problem.

I would like to add that I totally agree with the above descriptive sketch. Many steps possible (within a capitalist paradigm.) And - how we're being treated by the 'mainstream world' we live in (as individuals) probably contributes a lot to each individual's body image at the onset, and beyond.

So, trying to find an up note here. Really I am.

:Peace:

[Rita B]

Hi Toni,

The short answer is that I'm not quite ready for hormones, but I going full time was an option for me, so I just dove in.

My story is a bit unusual in that I discovered I was trans so late. I dressed for the first time barely a year ago, but then just thew myself into it, trying to learn and experience everything as fast as possible. It was such an obsession that after just a few months, I started investigating the possibility of coming to work dressed. After several months working things out with HR, the path seemed to be as clear as it would get, so I decided to be brave and do it.

Perhaps I do have an unusually accepting environment. The cities where I live, work, and shop are very liberal and progressive. I do scientific work that involves very little interaction with the public. So, there's not much pressure to be heteronormative. This is not to excuse heteronormative pressure, of course, but at least it's not there "making something that is already hard even harder."

A big part of my decision to go for it was the success I'd had "blending" in public outside of work. Yes, I'd love to have all the help that comes from hormones and FFS, but I've learned I do well enough that I can go most places and not turn heads anyway. <shrug> That's enough for now.

So why not hormones yet? A number of reasons, but one of the biggest is that it seems a little sudden to be making such profound changes to my body when just last year I scoffed at the idea of merely shaving my arms. Another is that I'm working on some issues from my past and they kind of have top priority right now. I'm not currently seeing a gender therapist, but these issues are unrelated to my transition, and I know what I need to do with them, so I'm just working on first things first.

I must say though, that I'm wanting hormones more and more each day now. I've heard enough about the effects, and I want them. I used to read about the effects and think, "cool! I could go for that." Now I read accounts of HRT, and it makes me long badly for the experience. So, I think hormones are in my future, just not quite yet. ...Not sure how long I can wait!

Meanwhile, being full time is great for me because I feel like I'm making progress in my transition. Every day I get socialization experience and I learn little things about being a woman. I hear fully transitioned people say they continue to learn and grow years after transition, so I'm happy to be started. Without doing this I'm afraid my transition might stall in a place that wasn't satisfying for me.

Now, I have loved cross dressing over this last year, and I know I still have much to learn about the art and craft of cross dressing. But appearances haven't been enough for me. I've wanted the social experience of being a woman. I guess maybe it's what I've enjoyed most.

Sonia I think that you are to be commended for your approach to transition. IMHO, there are too many girls out there on HRT just for the effects in their appearance and who have no desire at all to make the gender change. HRT was intended to be part of a total transition process. When I consulted with a therapist many years ago, ( who was also an MD and could have written a prescription) he absolutely refused to put me on HRT because of a history of heart problems including bypass surgery . At first I was irate and disappointed, but he was right. It was only three months later that I suffered a heart attack that changed my life in a dramatic way. I am so thankful that this person was ethical, even though it broke my heart at the time. So you go girl. When you're ready, do it the right way. See a therapist and get on a supervised and monitored HRT program. Oh, it doesn't hurt to pray a lot too! God bless.

[NaomiLynn]

Soniakiss,

I feel you're going the best route. If I transitioned, Although I would like the curves that hrt would help me get, My risk for breast cancer would be multiplied significantly, and with a maternal family history of it, I don't think it'd be worth it. Also, if I got an orchiectomy, I could get osteoporosis, possibly later in life, without hrt. so either way, there'd be risks.


NaomiLynn

[Felix]

Wow!! This is a wonderful post. I can see all sides of this those who wanna take hormones, those who don't, those who aren't ready, those who wanna transition and those who don't. For me I joined this board on a mission of self discovery and have now come to some sort of balance between where I am and who knows where I might end up. I started this whole thing binding with my ex fully behind me although on reflection I think she probably just wanted to see what I would look like but realized once I did it I would want to continue. The other stuff seemed to follow quite naturally and last December I was dressing fully as a man or a very butch dyke discovering her masculinities. I eventually found a male name that I liked and started using it but not in work. It was some time before I told close friends and even then I still asked them not to call me it in work although one cheeky lass does call me it like it's so natural lol! I thought a lot about therapy and seeing a therapist but never did. Still feeling I could sort it out myself which right now I have. I have got a friend who is taking hormones for medical reasons she doesn't want to be a man but likes her masculinities and the hormones help her to define them. In many ways this is what I would like to do but too scared of all the implications.Maybe I will if the pull is strong enough. I like my female spirit and don't wanna loose that so maybe this is the answer somewhere down the line. Mean time I will carry on dressing the way I do as it's how I'm most comfortable. So Sonia I hope this has made sense Hun and good luck with ya journey xx Felix :hugs::hugs:

[Stephanie Anne]

Thought I would chime in here. I have been transitioning slowly but surely for a few months now. I took a leave of absence so to speak from everything while I moved from California to Vegas but now I am on track and starting hormones.

The way I see it is the vast majority of masculinity and femininity are the result of social shaping over centuries. I myself never really fit into either stereotypes of "woman" or man". because of that, I see myself more gender neutral in that aspect.

Physically however, I have always had a feminine mind, meaning I have always thought of myself as the female gender. My body however is male. I do not really mind nor care the reasoning or evidence as to why this is. I only know that to feel like a person and not a mimic going through some routine, I made the determination that I need to be female outside as well as in.

I don't know as time passes how my feelings about my social interactions will go but I have never really liked the idea of "for her" or for him". I especially dislike the expectations of what a woman should be and how we should be confined.

I don't know if anyone else feels like being the middle of the road like me but I really never want to be tied down to any one gender stereotype.

While I understand that my decisions to transition into a woman at this stage of my life is neither too early nor too late (I am 34), I don't think I was mentally prepared to do it younger. If I was and if I had an understanding family, I would have transitioned as early as possible.


So for me hormones and eventually surgery to correct my mind and body are a absolute necessity. My current state of mind and body are and have always clashed with each other and I choose not to continue the way I have been even though I could live a full life like that.

Life is just too short not to live it to the fullest and that is why I am on hormones, regardless of the hurdles that will come.


Hope this helps anyone, I know putting the words down help me come to terms with the emotional that have affected the decisions of the physical.

Oh and I am a neurotic spaz who adores pink so there :tongueout

[Sejd]

Hi Sonia
Since I first posted on your question I have changed my mind, and now I am completely sure that I will not go the hormone route. No surgery either. the fact is, that I feel totally perfect female without that. I give myself the freedom to be out and about as Sejd and love it.
hugs
Sejd

[Veryvicky]

Hi Sonia!

Some others feel, mistakenly I think, that hormones will "make" them a woman. As you and I both know, the woman part comes from within. As we've talked about together we are both very similar in many ways, but also very different. Other than electrolysis/laser for hair removal I don't think I'll ever go in for any permanent body modifications. I think you are wise for taking it slowly (well....taking this part slowly.LOL). You have come so far in this last year that it is incredible! I know we're our worst critics but you should know how well you do on a regular basis. I have enough trouble handling my several days a month of girl time and you're 24/7! I'm so happy this has worked out for you!

Love,

I think that Sally said it the way I think of my early days of transition and has the pulse of those in favor of transition without hormones. I was once asked by my therapist if I feel as if I am a woman only when I am dressed as a woman. My reply was, no, I feel more feminine if I am wearing something nice, but I feel like a woman no matter what I am wearing. Really, it doesnt matter to me if someone necessarily feels the same way as I do and I dont think that everyone should be the same. As long as your path makes you feel comfortable and happy then go for it. Herbs and hormones will not make you into a woman, with either one, the changes are subtle and in many cases less than expected especially when using alot of herbs. As far as what was said about hormones creating health problems or being dangerous to use... well...thats why you need to consult a doctor before using either one or you have no one to blame other than youself if you blow out your liver or something. I know that in my case hormones have had a great calming effect with me. The results are slow and often a surprise to notice the changes, but they are changes that I want and welcome. However...


Sonia,

I really enjoyed seeing your post. I can sure relate; see my latest entry ("Gender Adventures - Holyoke") for explication. Organic tranny is really the latest wave; Riki Wilchins and Bet Power are the new maryjane, dig. Judith Butler: It's what you do, not how you look. As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people; if ya "feel" like a woman, then there it is. Passing is done for society's benefit (approval); when society is cool, then all that work is unnecessary. The transition is life itself, unfolding and uncertain. "Happily ever after" always ends the narrative - and we want to live, to keep living. So, yes, dear, go your own way; yay you!

I find some of the things Calliope mentioned as being alarmingly near sighted and hinges on being insulting. When I read what she said "Passing is done for societys benefit (approval); when society is cool, then all that work is unnecessary." all I can think of to say is...when society is cool !!! huhmmm what world does she live on ? The world I live on is hateful and mean towards someone who doesnt live, work and dress the way they think that you should. Society in mass is not cool with it and there are hospitals and grave yards full of those who have made that assumption. I wouldnt want someone on here to read this garbage and think...oh...I will just run right out dressed as I feel that I am. Maybe I live in a bad part of the country or maybe I am the one who is short sighted but I dont think that is the case or we wouldnt have the need for posting about coming out, transitioning at work, etc. Sure, transition the way you feel is best for you, but if you plan to walk into the public realm be sure that you know that no matter how you feel, there are those out there that dont care how you feel. I was going to say something about this as well but its been covered well already...


I don't consider those who choose to remain non-op "sick", so I don't care to be considered "sick" because I choose different.

Karen Starlene

Yeah...what she said !

[zena45]

Full time, no hormones, no surgery: that's me for four months now. I know my transition route isn't a common one, but this just felt right to me, and so far it's gone very well.

I'm wondering who else is this crazy. Have you gone full time without the aid of hormones or surgery? I'd love to hear stories. How is it going for you in general? Why are you taking this route? Do you plan to keep doing this indefinitely? What factors help you succeed at it? What challenges do you face? What incidents--positive or negative--have been notable?

I love telling my story, but I thought I'd toss this question out and see if others would like to go first.

Sonia
hi i understand how you feel im sure there are other trans people who opt not to have hormones or surgery im not fully out but i da idenify as a female the clothes do not make me i am woman hear me roar peace and love zena45

[Sejd]

I think Calliope has a good point in her view of doctors and authority although she does not always put it in very diplomatic language. I will tell you all why I think so. I met with another TS a couple of days ago over a glass of beer at our local brewery. this TS shows up in a bikers leather jacket, jeans and boots. That is off course OK except I felt I was dating a guy.
But the thing is, she is on hormones and thinking of going all the way, surgery and all, but feels uncomfortable dressing as a woman in public. She is supported by her therapist in doing all the medical ding dong, but at the same time not ready for living as a woman!!! Why am I telling you all this? because this is so typical in our society today. Therapist and doctors will do anything for money, but looking at the holistic picture of the patient is completely lacking. I believe that there are some TS who absolutely must go through whatever they go through to become more Femme, but for the rest of us, I think the medical industrial capitalistic corporate world is taking us all for a ride we don't deserve. Why are we giving away so much power to the professionals? Isn't it, maybe just some of it, a lack or self worth? We see it here in the Forum over and over again, the rush for the outer "FIX" and not so much introspectiveness. Being whole starts in the heart, in the simple task of walking, in the time consuming task of learning how to live as a woman, in the humble respect for real and powerful women we admire and want to be like. Anyway, I am rambling now!
Happy Veterans day ya all.
hugs
Sejd

[Lanore]

I have never taken prescribed hormones and at this time, have no intention on SRS. As I get older, the thing down below seems to just get smaller. I just don't need it anymore, so it might as well go away. Would hormones and SRS make me more complete? No! I was complete when I was born and love who I am.

Lanore

[DanielMacBride]

I have read this thread with interest - Sonia, you are not the only one who has gone fulltime with no hormones or surgery, I have at this point taken this route also :)

I came out late as well (at almost 37) and literally the DAY I came out, decided that my survival depended on me going fulltime male - which I duly did. I have now been living fulltime as a man for 3 and a half months, without any hormones or anything else. I set myself the marker when I first came out that I would wait till I had been fulltime for 3 months before I went to the doctor to ask for a referral to the pshrink (my appointment is next week to ask for this), so that I KNEW it was right - I figured if I was going to be uncomfortable as a man it would make itself apparent pretty fast. So, now I am just waiting to get the referral to the pshrink and then once my diagnosis is confirmed, I will be able to get on T fairly easily (this is my current goal, I am in no rush to do this as my life has been FANTASTIC since I came out, but it IS on my agenda whenever I get there).

Once I am approved for testosterone, I DO want surgery (top surgery and a full hysto) but not in a hurry - my plan at this point is to allow the T to work its magic on my body for 2yrs (the period when most of the changes it is going to make will happen) and allow my body to adjust, while also giving me a chance to save up for the surgery I wish to have in future (as I am currently only on a pension so money is a BIG issue). I am also aware that my desire for surgery may change once I am on testosterone (I have had extensive discussions with my therapist about this), so I am happy just to go with whatever feels right to me once I get there :D

I for one am fed up with the whole "you MUST have a certain level of hormones and surgery or you're not a REAL transperson" crap....since when did it become so damned elitist and Orwellian? (all animals are equal, but some are more equal than others).....

Daniel

[Tamara Croft]

Going to stir the pot again.

I usally hate when others do this, but the dictionary says:

1. a person having a strong desire to assume the physical characteristics and gender role of the opposite sex.

2. a person who has undergone hormone treatment and surgery to attain the physical characteristics of the opposite sex.

Those are the commonly held definitions of being transsexual.I think you should stop stirring the pot, you are only pissing people off, if you hate when people do this to you, then don't bloody do it to others. Just because that is written in a dictionary, doesn't make it set in stone does it. Just because you are now post op, does not make you a Miss know it all, throwing labels around at everyone else because 'it is in the dictionary'... is bang out of order, you of all people should know this having gone what you have gone through already.

A person does not need to take anything or have anything done to their body to know what they truely are inside, they know, just like you knew and you're lucky because you had the money to change what you are, others cannot, they have to live in the wrong body etc... So stop stirring, it doesn't become you, don't push labels on to people, or the damn dictionary!!!

[DanielMacBride]

I'm not an elitist, I'm trying to bring clarity to a thread others have made cloudy.

I was expressing a general annoyance with the trend that I have personally experienced within the trans community where post-op transsexuals look down on those who have not had SRS or for whatever reason cannot do so or do not intend to - we are ALL trans, in whatever shade, and I am tired of the constant divisions and subdivisions within what is already a minority.

However, I have to say that after reading your entire post, the views you express ARE elitist. And personally, people like YOU are part of the reason I became a trans-activist, because too many lines are being drawn to divide the minority even further and then you wonder why nobody takes the trans community seriously? This kind of attitude is why governments and funding bodies never take us seriously, because people like you want to further divide us and create splinter groups and even smaller minorities within the community and if there is no united front, there will never be any hope of the trans community ever being taken seriously and accepted by the general public.



Those are the commonly held definitions of being transsexual. Notice Daniel that your goal and endpoint fit these definitions. However, others here who are genderqueer/genderbenders are trying to present themselves as transsexual.

Notice too that I also stated that my goal for surgery may well change once I get onto testosterone - where does THAT fit with your definition of transsexual? If I chose to do so I am actually quite certain that I could live without surgery (which in fact for me is a very real possibility due to financial concerns) and it wouldn't REALLY bother me all that much. So does that make me "genderqueer" instead of a transsexual man, just because I may not choose to surgically alter my body?



They use obfuscation over how inclusive the community should be to coopt our label. Read the definitions again and compare it to how some on this thread actually live. "Organic" is actually equivalent to "genderqueer". The same as a court found "intelligent design" is actually "creationism" repackaged.


I'm sorry - "OUR" label? You still want to say you are not being elitist? Trans itself is (as you yourself pointed out, see below) a very broad spectrum, who are YOU to define exactly what qualifies someone to sit on that spectrum at whatever point?

And I dispute your assertion that "organic" = "genderqueer" - I have used that label "genderqueer" to identify myself at various points, and there is a DEFINITE difference.



I have nothing against people who are genderqueer/genderbenders. I feel everyone must be who they are and find their comfort zone. What I do have a problem with is when they claim to be just like me and invade spaces designated for others like me and try to tell me I don't know what it is to be transsexual! How insulting can you get? For the sake of clarity: I am not referring to those who can't proceed due to financial, health concerns or other problems.

Uh huh....this to me smacks of the same logic as the lesbians who don't want transgendered women in their spaces because they are "not women". How insulting can YOU get? And you are saying that the transsexual who cannot proceed with surgery etc for financial reasons etc is in a different class to those who CHOOSE not to proceed for other reasons? What if that particular transsexual person has another objection to surgery that you have not thought of? As I said....VERY Orwellian....and I personally know at least ONE transsexual woman who is non-op, but ABSOLUTELY a TRANSSEXUAL woman even though she has made that choice purely for personal reasons.


Getting back to the definitions.... I'm done with my physical transtion. Therapy, HRT, FFS, RLE and lastly SRS; all done. Whole at last.

OK....that says it ALL, really - in your opinion apparently anyone who does NOT have all the abovementioned procedures when claiming to be transsexual is not "whole".


Transgenderism is a spectrum. Transsexuality is at the far end of that spectrum. There's also androgenous people, genderbenders, genderqueers, gender****, crossdressers and more. Although related these are quite distinct natures of being. I don't claim to be any of the others, I know I was born trassexual. I have fixed that and am moving on.

OK so where does that leave people like my friend Cathii? She is transsexual (planning to have SRS and on hormones) but is not quite girl, not quite a boy - but chooses to express her gender in a more feminine manner. And your comment about having "fixed" your transsexuality and moving on - I'm sorry but I find the implication that transsexuality is something that NEEDS to be fixed, to be HIGHLY offensive - I AM a transsexual man, and there is NOTHING wrong with me that needs to be fixed! IF I choose to go the surgery route, I most certainly will NOT be getting a phalloplasty - so by YOUR definition, does that make me any less of a transsexual? Apparently so. Not to mention the many OTHER transsexual men who do not have that procedure.


But I do find it irritating when others, not of my experience, try to claim they are of my experience when they are clearly not. By definition it is hormones, surgery, and by inference, a gender identity in opposition of their assigned sex, that defines being born trassexual. This definition clearly doesn't apply to some on this thread.

It is not elitist to call a spade a spade.

And yet you claim to be able to speak for THEIR experience by sticking their gender into the very boxes of which being TRANS in any form makes a mockery? If you knew anything about gender you should know that it is absolutely NOT a binary and that to be trans basically means you BREAK every gender "law". It is high time that this kind of outmoded and utterly divisive thinking (and yes it IS elitist, you are basically saying that if you do not fit the most narrow definition you are NOT transsexual - not all transsexuals aspire to, or are able to, achieve the requirements of the definition you adhere to, and you are saying they are NOT transsexual simply because they do not fit YOUR experience).

And it may not be elitist to call a spade a spade, but it IS elitist to say that spade is not a spade just because it isn't the right shape or colour for YOUR definition. And the dictionary is not the most reliable source for a definition of transsexual in any case - I got MY definition from the HBSOC and my therapist.

I am heavily involved with a local organisation here who are forming a framework for educating the public about transgender/transsexuals - and frankly it's elitist attitudes like your own that cause the most misinformation and prejudice from the general public which then makes re-education a necessity.

Daniel *proudly wearing both "ACTIVIST" hat and "GENDER REBEL" t-shirt*

[Kieron Andrew]

Well said Daniel.....

[SirTrey]

Well said Daniel.....
Trey seconds Kieron's sentiments....Well done, brother!! :)

[Joanna-Louise]

Sonia,

I really enjoyed seeing your post. I can sure relate; see my latest entry ("Gender Adventures - Holyoke") for explication. Organic tranny is really the latest wave; Riki Wilchins and Bet Power are the new maryjane, dig. Judith Butler: It's what you do, not how you look. As I see it, hormones (drugs), therapy and invasive surgery are for sick people; if ya "feel" like a woman, then there it is. Passing is done for society's benefit (approval); when society is cool, then all that work is unnecessary. The transition is life itself, unfolding and uncertain. "Happily ever after" always ends the narrative - and we want to live, to keep living. So, yes, dear, go your own way; yay you!

Sorry to be judgemental here, but to me the whole point of grs and being a 100&#37; woman is to go through this..

I had the above option thrown at me afew years ago but i choose to stay as a cd as its what worked out best for me. I admire those more who start out as a full time cd then working there way to grs etc etc, however i cant see either way being sick, as to me having the hormones and surgery is always going to end up being in the minfield of our complicated lifes.

[Tamara Croft]

Sorry to be judgemental here, but to me the whole point of grs and being a 100% woman is to go through this..

I had the above option thrown at me afew years ago but i choose to stay as a cd as its what worked out best for me. I admire those more who start out as a full time cd then working there way to grs etc etc, however i cant see either way being sick, as to me having the hormones and surgery is always going to end up being in the minfield of our complicated lifes.Joanna, a CD, is not a TS, a CD wouldn't work their way to hormones etc... if they did that, then they weren't a CD in the first place, they are a TS.

[Cai]

There's another side to this that hasn't really been covered so far. There are people (like me) who want hormones and (top) surgery, but also have no intention of trying to hide. Maybe this will change once I get further along in life, but right now I'm planning to live my life as a transsexual. I want to look and sound like a man, enough so that people will use the right pronouns and names, but I can't imagine a life where my friends wouldn't know my past.

There are a lot of acceptable paths in life. Being non-op, non-hormones and out; being non-op, non-hormones and stealth; being post-op and stealth; being post-op and out; and anything in between.

Just because it's not a path you understand doesn't make it wrong.

[Joanna-Louise]

Joanna, a CD, is not a TS, a CD wouldn't work their way to hormones etc... if they did that, then they weren't a CD in the first place, they are a TS.


yeah just realised i lost myself in that post :s :eek:

[MarciManseau]

Cara,
I have come to the same conclusion! I used to HATE how "short" I was compared to other guys. Now, I'm very happy with my height. Funny, when I started to accept myself as being TG, I also started to hate my body (hair, etc) more, but accept my height more and more.

I'm full time too without hormones or surgery, and I'm not sure I want either - ever. I'm extremely lucky to have been born looking much more feminine than masculine. My heart goes out to my sisters who don't have that going for them.

I used to hate being 5'6", being picked on for being small, and tormented because I "act like a pussy" or "walk like a girl". Now all the negatives I had are plusses and I'm very, very happy.

Now, I am - who I am :happy::happy:

[Valeria]

I'd like to point out that back in the '90s, before forums of this ilk became common, the predominant way to talk about TS/TG issues was Usenet - unmoderated newsgroups.

Back then, there were several groups devoted to TS and TG topics. Sounds great, right? Not so much.

The first problem was the trolls, of course, but they were the least of the problem. The big problem was the ongoing war between post-op women (and to a lesser extent surgical track pre-op women) vs. non-op TG women. To summarize, eventually it devolved into the non-ops calling post-op women mentally sick individuals who engaged in self mutilation, while the post-op women called the non-ops men playing at being women (while referring to many of them by their male birth names and male pronouns). As someone who at the time was trying to figure out if surgery was the right thing for me, the whole experience of reading some of those threads was devastating. I think the experience set me back from actually starting hormones and having surgery for years, because I pretty much withdrew from anything to do with either side.

I'm not saying that this thread is like that (it's a hundred times tamer). But it's a step in the wrong direction, IMO.

[Valeria]

There's another side to this that hasn't really been covered so far. There are people (like me) who want hormones and (top) surgery, but also have no intention of trying to hide. Maybe this will change once I get further along in life, but right now I'm planning to live my life as a transsexual. I want to look and sound like a man, enough so that people will use the right pronouns and names, but I can't imagine a life where my friends wouldn't know my past.
A lot of us feel that way at one point. I have a good friend that I chat with regularly. A year ago, she always wore a pendent and often wore t-shirts that proclaimed her as transsexual. She felt that to do otherwise was to live a lie. She came out at the drop of a hat. Now, she never wears those things, and she's gone to "don't ask, don't tell". She's seriously contemplating complete stealth. Some people stick by their guns about this, and some people out themselves so completely and universally that changing their mind is not an option. But FWIW, in my experience a lot of people who feel the way you do eventually change their mind.

I tried your ideal lifestyle, but interacting with people who do not know is much more satisfying, and I think it's more honest to whom I really am. I don't identify as transsexual, I identify as a woman. I didn't go through all the pain and expense of transition to be perceived as in-between - I didn't need any medical treatment to accomplish that.

OTOH, I know of people who are done with transition who still emphatically want everyone to know they are trans. It just seems to be a rare position to hold - if you have a choice about it, most people eventually get tired of fighting the good fight.

FWIW, my partner knows (and knew before we ever started dating). I can't imagine being in a long-term romantic relationship with someone who didn't know either. Although some people do go down that road...


There are a lot of acceptable paths in life. Being non-op, non-hormones and out; being non-op, non-hormones and stealth; being post-op and stealth; being post-op and out; and anything in between.
All true, although most people assigned male at birth who are now living as a woman would have a hard time living stealth without hormones or surgery.


Just because it's not a path you understand doesn't make it wrong.
True.

[rickie121x]

....Part of my recalcitrance owes to luck, size 6, easy; part of it owes to my age, almost 50. As I see it, why does an old broad like me need to buy silky skin and bouncy boobs? ....

I too, am size 6, but don't know what "recalcitrance" means... just possibly because I use blonde rinse on my grey hair! :heehee:

But golly whiz, when I take the time to use "femme" product to make my skin feel silky, and silicone "forms" to make these here boobs more bouncy, I do soooo love how I feel. And there you go, that simply is the "why" for me

And at my age, 73... :devil: :heehee: I love it!

Rickie

[Felix]

This has been a great thread I've just been reading through it again. I was thinking how I have changed since I joined almost two years ago and how my thought processes may have or have changed. When I first joined I had just started to bind and like I said everything else seemed to follow naturally and quickly. By the Christmas I was dressing full time and had told close friends about my male name. I was always thinking about transitioning and hormones and the effects it would have on my life. For the last 16 months I have thought about talking to someone professionally. I still feel I am somewhere on the trans spectrum and yes I would still like top surgery and yes maybe hormones at the right time but I have to think of my parents and my sons although my youngests son is used to me looking like a man so it may be easier for him when he's a little older. I can't do anything yet to drastic cos of my parents they are too old it would kill them. They still can't handle me wanting to be with women. I know I could probably get round it when I visit but its all the bother involved.
I'm only 41 so I won't be too old when they aren't around anymore don't like thinking like that really but its a reality. So thats why I am dressing full time being called Felix by most people who know me and am not on hormones.

Chapter two is just starting cos I've been to my GP and told her how I feel and asked for gender therapy to try to see where I'm going with all of this. So although still not on hormones I have come out as being trans to my doctor so as she said big step!!

I will never judge anyone for what they want cos we are all so different. I may get confused sometimes but I will ask for clarification. I do think its sad that there seems to be so much prejudice in the LGBT community. After all at the end of the day we are all human beings if we would just care to remove the labels. xx Felix :hugs::hugs:

[Nicki B]

Full time, no hormones, no surgery: that's me for four months now. I know my transition route isn't a common one, but this just felt right to me, and so far it's gone very well.

I'm wondering who else is this crazy. Have you gone full time without the aid of hormones or surgery?

Just an observation - in the UK, if you go the NHS route, that's the way everyone does it.... :hmmm: You don't get through the gate to official hormone prescriptions unless you have already legally changed your name and can prove you've been living and working f/t for months (in some cases, even years).

As with Daniel, it forces people to prove to everyone their commitment to transition - but it can be pretty cruel... :sad:

[Anna the Dub]

Just an observation - in the UK, if you go the NHS route, that's the way everyone does it.... :hmmm: You don't get through the gate to official hormone prescriptions unless you have already legally changed your name and can prove you've been living and working f/t for months (in some cases, even years).

As with Daniel, it forces people to prove to everyone their commitment to transition - but it can be pretty cruel... :sad:

Not sure about this. I have been on hormones for quite a while now, have had an orchiectomy (had a DVT so could not stay on anti androgens) but have not transitioned yet. My hormones are all legal, prescription supplied by my GP, although I did have to pay for the orchiectomy myself.

[Nicki B]

Anna, who is deciding what hormone regime you should be on? Is it a GIC - if so, which one?

Did you manage to get the orchiectomy as part of your transition, or for another reason?

Or are you getting private prescriptions fulfilled by your GP?

[Anna the Dub]

My most recent hormone regime was decided by the endocrinologist I see at my local NHS hospital, sent there by my GP. I used to see Russell Reid in the past (sent to him by my previous GP, paid for by the practice), but he is off the scene now, and I am currently not seeing any therapist. However, my GP has someone in mind for me to now go to. I will be going to my GP in the next couple of weeks and will ask her for her referral for therapy to be initiated.

I got the orchiectomy referral from Dr Reid, as I had had a DVT whilst on anti androgens and could obviously no longer take them. However, I did have to pay for this myself. It was done at a BUPA hospital in Leicester.

[Nicki B]

My most recent hormone regime was decided by the endocrinologist I see at my local NHS hospital, sent there by my GP. I used to see Russell Reid in the past (sent to him by my previous GP, paid for by the practice), but he is off the scene now, and I am currently not seeing any therapist. However, my GP has someone in mind for me to now go to. I will be going to my GP in the next couple of weeks and will ask her for her referral for therapy to be initiated.

I got the orchiectomy referral from Dr Reid, as I had had a DVT whilst on anti androgens and could obviously no longer take them. However, I did have to pay for this myself. It was done at a BUPA hospital in Leicester.

Anna, it sounds as if you started off privately, if you were seeing Russell - or did the PCT pay for that?? When was that? Have you really had no contact with a GIC, either Leicester, or Charing Cross? Your PCT are not supposed to fund you, if your treatment is not being managed by one. :strugglin

I know several girls who might want to know who your PCT/GP is..

[Anna the Dub]

Originally I was sent by my GP to Dr Reid. The practice paid for all the consultations. Believe it or not this was back at the turn of the century :eek: Personally, I found Dr Reid's sessions a bit of a waste of time, a long trip to London for a half hour chat, which really could've been done over the phone. Anyway, it was necessary. Around 2000, I had a lot going on, buying a new house, heavy pressure at work, etc. so I put off transitioning for a while. Well, to cut a long story short, I effectively went back into the closet, despite the fact that everyone knows all about me. So I buckled down, pretended everything was ok, I was on hormones, had already had my orchie, was feeling a lot calmer and no longer depressed, and tried to convince myself that I could continue on as I was, in limbo really. Well, this went on until last year really, until I stopped pretending (again!) that everything was ok. I have to say that in the intervening years my various GPs continued prescribing hormones for me. My latest GP, however, was shocked when I went to see her (really like her), she apologised profusely for the practice allowing me to 'slip through the cracks' and promised more exacting medical treatment. She first referred me to an endocrinologist to determine my hormone levels, liver function, lipids, etc. I saw him a few months ago, had my blood tests, all came back excellent. He told me he wanted to increase my hormone dosage and informed my GP of same. I have to go back to see him in March. My GP wants me to have some therapy and has someone in mind to refer me to. I feel I am back on track now, and want my referrals. Regret pretending that everything was ok for all those years, but hey ho, that's in the past now. I am also back getting electrolysis again. My beard is still quite strong especially under the chin. All my documentation was changed years ago, utility bills, National Insurance number, inland revenue, and so on. But to answer your original question, No, I am not currently at any GIC.

Oh, and I forgot to say, my GP would not take me off hormones because of the orchie. She was afraid that I would be at high risk of osteoporosis. She said that I would probably have to have hormones for life.

[Nicki B]

I have to say that in the intervening years my various GPs continued prescribing hormones for me. My latest GP, however, was shocked when I went to see her (really like her), she apologised profusely for the practice allowing me to 'slip through the cracks' and promised more exacting medical treatment.

Mmm. They have been seriously breaking the treatment protocols - and it sounds like repeat prescribing off-licence, without any referral (and the guy making the original referral has since been heavily censured by the BMA for his prescribing regime). :hmmm:


She first referred me to an endocrinologist to determine my hormone levels, liver function, lipids, etc. I saw him a few months ago, had my blood tests, all came back excellent. He told me he wanted to increase my hormone dosage and informed my GP of same. I have to go back to see him in March.

You have been incredibly lucky, probably due to the orchiectomy - the gateway to an endocrinologist is supposed to be via a psych from a GIC... Orchi's (even private ones like yours) are much more strictly controlled, now?


My GP wants me to have some therapy and has someone in mind to refer me to. I feel I am back on track now, and want my referrals.

I think you'll find this will be someone at a GIC? :)

[Anna the Dub]

I think you'll find this will be someone at a GIC? :)

Well, I hope so. I want to move forward now. I feel I am looking at transitioning some time this year. I wonder how they would treat me, considering I have been on hormones for so long and have had an orchiectomy already? If it is a GIC, I hope it is Leicester, and that is reasonably close.

[Nicki B]

If it is a GIC, I hope it is Leicester, and that is reasonably close.

It depends on your GIC - many seem to think CX is the only one available. :rolleyes: If you feel strongly, kick up a fuss and make sure you get referred to Leicester (Dr Khoosal?). If you wanted to be awkward, you could get them in a lot of trouble, so I'm sure they'll listen to you... :winking: :devil:

[MFStoo]

Hi Sonia,
I am so glad to hear that it is all working out for you..
We all have to choose our own path and have the courage
of our convictions.
I really missed seeing you the last few times out with the sisters of Worcester.
Come visit with us some time when you have a chance.
:hugs:

Gina Louise

[Felix]

I was talking to a friend who knows a trans man who has been on treatment for about 4 years he has to pay for all his hormones. I was told that it is hard to get the hormones on the NHS it depends on the need like a bit like IVF I suppose . I said lol If I wanted them then I would be at the bottom of the pile. I would probably have to pay like this man. It's a right annoyance ya pay ya contributions all ya working life then ya can't get the help ya need it sucks really for all in the situation.

Glad it's working out for you though Hun xx Felix :hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

I was told that it is hard to get the hormones on the NHS it depends on the need like a bit like IVF I suppose . I said lol If I wanted them then I would be at the bottom of the pile.
i doubt you would have to pay, nhs WILL refer you, it may be a bit of a wait but they will supply your T, its surgeries they dont wanna pay for

[Felix]

Hi Kieron I have been asking around and if I pay for scripts now then I will prob have to pay for the injections just like normal meds. If I was on the dole or not paying for some reason then thats different. I would probably only be wanting top surgery but I know the problems around that and worse for hyto's especially if ya don't wanna go all the way. Ryan is gonna ask some questions for me when he sees his specialist in March, really good of him :happy: xx Felix :hugs:

[Kieron Andrew]

Hi Kieron I have been asking around and if I pay for scripts now then I will prob have to pay for the injections just like normal meds. If I was on the dole or not paying for some reason then thats different. I would probably only be wanting top surgery but I know the problems around that and worse for hyto's especially if ya don't wanna go all the way. Ryan is gonna ask some questions for me when he sees his specialist in March, really good of him :happy: xx Felix :hugs:

ah yeah got you, forget you're working (well not at the moment but you know what i mean), yes it will be normal script prices.....with the Surgeries its a PCT/postcode lottery it seems especially for FtM, but just cos one PCT doesnt give out doesnt mean another one wont help you, they seem to be all having rules of their own at the moment til the new guidelines are kicked into place, depends how good your PCT is at fighting your corner

[Anna the Dub]

It depends on your GIC - many seem to think CX is the only one available. :rolleyes: If you feel strongly, kick up a fuss and make sure you get referred to Leicester (Dr Khoosal?). If you wanted to be awkward, you could get them in a lot of trouble, so I'm sure they'll listen to you... :winking: :devil:

Well, my GP has referred me today. It is not to CX or Leicester, it is to a Dr Richard Curtis, somewhere in London. She said that the PCT has an agreement with him alone. So there we are, once I get to see him I am back on course.

[Kieron Andrew]

Well, my GP has referred me today. It is not to CX or Leicester, it is to a Dr Richard Curtis, somewhere in London. She said that the PCT has an agreement with him alone. So there we are, once I get to see him I am back on course.

cool hes a Transman! and great person!

hes primarily private but does some shared care with certain PCTs so looks like you lucked out on that one :D

http://www.transhealth.co.uk/dr_curtis.php

[Anna the Dub]

cool hes a Transman! and great person!

hes primarily private but does some shared care with certain PCTs so looks like you lucked out on that one :D

http://www.transhealth.co.uk/dr_curtis.php

Ah, I see. Well, that's good news, he knows exactly where I am coming from.

[Laurelanne]

Hey, just a short note I came upon yoour story and want to say that I wish you well. When I was in my 20s (long time ago) I too decided to just be a girl, full time etc etc well I did it too without anything, basically because I was too afraid to ask the Dr or even let friends etc know I was living on the road (as a musician) and on my own otherwise it was great... I did cheat a little and did take herbs from a chinese herbalist that helped lean the balance a little more to estrogen but otherwise it was my mind Im sure. Anyhow met a Girl got married and slowly stopped doing anything full time (regrets) so enough about me. You go girl try the best because theres more to come for you.. LOL