An unexpected visitor - or how not to undress

[Elsbeth]

Hi All,

Yesterday, for the first time in forever I had the place to myself. We have been building a ranch property from the ground up,it has been a very long process and there has been workmen on the place almost every day for the last 8 weeks. No privacy for me. And since I am closeted I've only been wearing underthings occasionally.

So, even though I wasn't feeling that girly I decided I dress up a bit. So, panties and bra. And then, unusually for me, I decide to add birdseed/nylon breasts and a dress. A light blue, mid-length dress made of a jersey material. Now I don't really like the dress that much because it is too tight and it has sleeves that are mid -length and it just makes it hard to adjust. The sleeves tend to pull down the neckline and so the dress never fits quite right and it is too tight. But it was out here in the barn so I wore it.

Oh yea, to set the scene, I have an office over our barn and that is where the next takes place. One other detail, we have people dropping by constantly since we moved, workers - neighbors, Grand Central Station. So there is some risk that someone might just drop by but I don't really give it too much thought

Anyway, I'm working at my desk. More dressed up than usual when I hear the barn door downstairs slide open.

OH MY GOD!!!!! Danger, danger Will Robinson!!!! Defensive perimeter has been penetrated!!!!!

All hands on deck! Must remove female clothing immediately! Return to Boy mode! Return to Boy mode!!!

So, in a panic I try to take the dress of at the shoulder but the stupid thing is clingy, too tight, and I can't get a good grip. So I get the bright idea of just pulling it over my head. Because I have to get out of that dress ASAP.

Not a good plan as it turns out.

I whip the dress up over my head and in the process my two "breasts" fly across the room. Heads up! Incoming!

But I don't know where they land because I can't get the freakin' dress over my head! So now my panic is on the rise - plus I can't see!

I struggle back and forth, trying to wrestle the offending bit of fabric off my head but I am stuck. Just plain stuck. I'm doing little circles in the room, pulling and tugging. Finally I give the now cursed dress a huge yank and I get it up over my head.

But no further. Now it has essentially become a straight jacket.

Here it where it gets good. I'm standing there in my bra and panties with a dress over my head - but the dress has now pinned my arms back. So I'm pretty much doing an imitation of a Tyrannosaurs Rex trying to get a Velociraptor off its back. Except I don't have the really large head to reach around I'm bite that son of a ..... I've become sort of a Tyranny - Tranny.

I'm flailing around the room ineffectively trying to grab the dress with my little bitty arms, doing my dance of desperation and in the process I manage to kick one of the breasts across the room and just miss taking out a light fixture.

All is chaos.

Finally, I get one arm partly free. Pull off the dress, pop off the bra and throw them, appropriately enough, in the closet. I pull on my pants and boots. Hustle into my shirt and head downstairs. Trying to compose myself.

And what do I find?

My horse that is on stall rest has managed to unlatch her dutch door and is pulling it back and forth. She seemed quite proud of herself. When she moves it back an forth it sounds just like the main door moving. How nice.

Just me and the horses. No one about for miles.

Pleasant way to start the day. :)

El

PS Sorry about the typo in the thread title. I changed it but didn't see the "ing" as the display box was too small. Seems I can't change the actual thread title. ( title corrected Shelly P )

[Veronica Fallon]

Thet's whatcha git fer horsin' around with dem der gurly clothes!!!
:lol::roflmao::laughing:

Hugz,

Veronica (AKA Ms. Ed)

[Sandygal]

I think we all have had a panic story at one time, I really got a chuckle out of yours.......Sandy

[AllieSF]

Great story El. I am still laughing. Maybe you are the Erma Brombeck of CDing! Keep up the great writing style. Maybe a book, like the trials and tribulations of a CD. Thanks for sharing.

[MJ]

ha , ha that was great thank you :lol2:

[kassandra richard]

Priceless :) Makes Mr. Bean's turkey for Christmas seem positively fowl :p

Kassandra

[Roberta Lynn]

:lol: great story El. I've had a few panicky moments but nothing to match that.
Thanks for the giggles:D

[Kate Simmons]

Guess you got the "horse's laugh" on that one El.:happy:

[Veronica 1]

That is just to funny. I just hate it when unexpected visitors come around. Have you thought about putting a lock on your office door?

[Katrina]

Quit horsing around and get back into your girly clothes! That's a funny story, BTW.

[Brianna Lovely]

That was too funny, giggle. Of course, with my new found emotions, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Well, honey, you'll just have to get the right size dress. Hmm, out west? A nice denim dress, pink embossed boots and a red cowboy-hat, sounds approtiate, giggle.

Seriously though, "Go where no man has gone before" and ware your dress.

[Julie York]

Neigh-bours dropping round eh?


Funny story.:D:thumbsup:

[Lissa Stevens]

Sorry but I found your story amusing. I can just picture what you are describing. I have had similar things happen but not quite so hysterical.

[Dawn D.]

Elsbeth, That has to be one of the funniest stories I've heard. I could envision it perfectly as you were describing it. Be still my heart. That made my day!!!





Dawn

[Elsbeth]

I'm glad people enjoyed the story. It was just too funny not to share. It seemed like it went on for hours - but I'm sure it was just a few seconds.

And I apprecate folks saying that they like my writing. Writing is something that I would really like to do more of. It is very encouraging to hear that people enjoy my little story. It gives me the courage to try to do more.

Thanks,

El

[Dayna]

Hands down--or up--the best post I have read in a long time!

[Di]

Loved it...gave me a fit of giggles could just picture the entire scene:D

[Slip Affinity]

Good story. It gave me a chuckle. A great way to cap off the evening.

[raleighbelle]

Can I get the movie rights to that?! I have had similar close calls, but none so funny as that. What a relief, eh?

[angelfire]

So many puns flying around...I love it!

And that story was hysterical, love it!

[KatieZ]

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[scarlet]

Your writing is great I was laughing so hard I fell out of my chair then knocked a large glass of koolaid off the desk onto me and I'm still laughing:lol::lol:

[Missy Anne]

That is probably one of the funniest descriptions I have ever read. And very well written, too, I might add!

Thanks for the entertainment!!

Missy Anne

[Sarah.]

LOL! That hasn't happened to me yet.

[paulaN]

I hate to laugh at someone else. But that story made me laugh out loud. And I'll tell ya, it takes a lot to hit my funny bone. It was very well written too. I was with ya every step of the way.

[Megan_Girl]

If your laughing your relating.

I had a very similar experience a few months ago and it took me a week to be able to laugh at myself. We have a 250 ft.drive way and I swore then I'd go to the electronics shop and get one of those electric eyes for down by the mail box so I could have a little warning........I think I'll stop at Radio Shack on the way home.
Thanks for the smile... :lol:

XXX
Megan

[Sinthia]

That was hilarious. My sides still hurt from laughing. And the puns were great, also.

[uknowhoo]

:lol::lol2:Tooo funny!! :lol::lol2:

Thanx 4 posting. ;)

[BarbaraTalbot]

I loved the description of what it feels like to get a dress off. I have decided that it is a CD-unique experience.

Dee laughs that I ask her all the time.."Now, whats the best way to get this off?" I always feel like a caveman when I can't get a dress up over my head. (No offense to any CD-ing cavemen on here. Of course you know they always say, "so easy a dinosaur could do it".)

Women cross their arms and pull up and over. the genetic male frame even on a "scrawny" guy (the words of our 17 year old jock son about my new dieted down physique) has wider bone structure at the shoulders before muscle is even added. that makes this maneuver awkward.

Ive lost 29 lbs and only basically gone from a snug in the butt and waist size 14 eight dress, to having to wear separates. Now I am a size 8 with no hips in a skirt, but my top is still basically a 14. Bit of an upside down triangle. I, like most girls, genetic and otherwise, refuse to acknowledge my actual size. I get size 10 dresses without sleeves and let my brawny shoulders bulge out. (the 17 year old has no idea what a manly man I am, just ask my wife..)

It is really an interesting phenomenon about how a dress can slip on fairly easy, but come off like Chinese finger cuffs. It is much easier (well and more fun) if Dee helps. The ergonomics of it seem to be that when putting it on, gravity helps the dress slip down a bit as you raise both arms, rotator cuffs in as you wriggle into it of doesn't work because to pull, you have to have your rotator cuff in the out and locked position to having anything to leverage against when you pull.

Dee and I were just laughing about this the other day when she happened across a video of two girls giggling in fits as the tried nearly in vain to help a third girl escape from what looked like a pair of size zero jeans on a size 4 butt.

Great story. I think you should have saddled up that smug SOB and spurred him down the trail at a gallop with the pointy end of a nice pair of stilettos.

[Rachael]

Pity the horse din't have a cam corder. I'd have loved to have seen this in the video section.:D Rachael

[erickka]

A too tight jersey knit dress...$10 at thrifrt store, Bra and panties $40 at VS, Having the crap scared out of you by some horse's a** , PRICELESS. Great story, I'm still ROFLMAO!

[Charolette time]

Hi All,

Yesterday, for the first time in forever I had the place to myself. We have been building a ranch property from the ground up,it has been a very long process and there has been workmen on the place almost every day for the last 8 weeks. No privacy for me. And since I am closeted I've only been wearing underthings occasionally.

So, even though I wasn't feeling that girly I decided I dress up a bit. So, panties and bra. And then, unusually for me, I decide to add birdseed/nylon breasts and a dress. A light blue, mid-length dress made of a jersey material. Now I don't really like the dress that much because it is too tight and it has sleeves that are mid -length and it just makes it hard to adjust. The sleeves tend to pull down the neckline and so the dress never fits quite right and it is too tight. But it was out here in the barn so I wore it.

Oh yea, to set the scene, I have an office over our barn and that is where the next takes place. One other detail, we have people dropping by constantly since we moved, workers - neighbors, Grand Central Station. So there is some risk that someone might just drop by but I don't really give it too much thought

Anyway, I'm working at my desk. More dressed up than usual when I hear the barn door downstairs slide open.

OH MY GOD!!!!! Danger, danger Will Robinson!!!! Defensive perimeter has been penetrated!!!!!

All hands on deck! Must remove female clothing immediately! Return to Boy mode! Return to Boy mode!!!

So, in a panic I try to take the dress of at the shoulder but the stupid thing is clingy, too tight, and I can't get a good grip. So I get the bright idea of just pulling it over my head. Because I have to get out of that dress ASAP.

Not a good plan as it turns out.

I whip the dress up over my head and in the process my two "breasts" fly across the room. Heads up! Incoming!

But I don't know where they land because I can't get the freakin' dress over my head! So now my panic is on the rise - plus I can't see!

I struggle back and forth, trying to wrestle the offending bit of fabric off my head but I am stuck. Just plain stuck. I'm doing little circles in the room, pulling and tugging. Finally I give the now cursed dress a huge yank and I get it up over my head.

But no further. Now it has essentially become a straight jacket.

Here it where it gets good. I'm standing there in my bra and panties with a dress over my head - but the dress has now pinned my arms back. So I'm pretty much doing an imitation of a Tyrannosaurs Rex trying to get a Velociraptor off its back. Except I don't have the really large head to reach around I'm bite that son of a ..... I've become sort of a Tyranny - Tranny.

I'm flailing around the room ineffectively trying to grab the dress with my little bitty arms, doing my dance of desperation and in the process I manage to kick one of the breasts across the room and just miss taking out a light fixture.

All is chaos.

Finally, I get one arm partly free. Pull off the dress, pop off the bra and throw them, appropriately enough, in the closet. I pull on my pants and boots. Hustle into my shirt and head downstairs. Trying to compose myself.

And what do I find?

My horse that is on stall rest has managed to unlatch her dutch door and is pulling it back and forth. She seemed quite proud of herself. When she moves it back an forth it sounds just like the main door moving. How nice.

Just me and the horses. No one about for miles.

Pleasant way to start the day. :)

El

PS Sorry about the typo in the thread title. I changed it but didn't see the "ing" as the display box was too small. Seems I can't change the actual thread title. ( title corrected Shelly P )

Good thing it wasnt, MR .ED the talking horse, imagine the storys he could tell, :devil::heehee::heehee: Charolette

[Wendy me]

it's funny how a single noise can bring out the stripper in us......

[briannad]

Sounds like the time I almost got caught in high school when my Mother came home unexpected.

[~Seana~]

Absolutely hilarious. I've had some close calls but that one takes the grand prize.Hope you werent too mad at the horse!


Amanda

[Deborah Jane]

:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:That cracked me up

[SandyR]

Great thread! Thanks for sharing.

PS - Is the Dress ok? and did you find your boobs........

Hugs.

SandyR

[Elsbeth]

Well, the dress was already a bit of a shambles to begin with, but no additional damage.

And yes, I forgot to add that I kicked my low-rent boobs into the closet along with the dress and bra. :)

El

[Annaliese]

Having horses of my own, you made a bad day great.

Anna

[fun4metoo2004]

Lol!!!

[Paulette]

That's a hoot.

[caroledwina]

well-written piece and would make a great column in a relevant magazine (I have no idea which magazines cater to folks like us in North America but it's worth checking)

You might get an offer to submit regularly - great work - loved it

Carly

writer/photographer

[Peggy55]

Boy don't I know the straight jacket thing. My neighbors seem to knock on the door just as I have clipped the last garter strap or have gotten my breastforms just right and then it's a mad dash to the bedroom shedding clingy stuff all the way! They think I'm the cleanest person in the world because it seems I'm in my robe and "just about to take a shower" no matter what day or time it is!

[Jazzmine]

That's a great story - still chuckling!
We find it so funny because we know exactly what you were going through.

I once put on one of my wive's dresses - it went on like a slip!
But when it was time to take it off i got into the same position as you except every time i moved I heard S-T-R-E-T-C-H- R-I-P.
Somehow the ghost of Houdini invaded my body and I slithered free only to face 2 hours of sewing to make good the experience!

[Mya Summers]

LOL, Great story. I've had a few very close encounters myself and one actuall encounter but I won't go there. But it was a great story made me laugh hard. Oh by the way great writing skills.

[Jillm]

LOL, good story.

[Raychel]

Can I get a copy of the tape from the surveilence camera. I'll bet that will be a total hoot to watch. :heehee::heehee:

[pennycdtv1]

I absolutely enjoyed reading your story. Like others here, we all have a close one to exchange that has happened, but yours dear had a safe and happy ending.