Im Scared (don't know how to tell my therapist)

[JOEY88]

i just met with my sex therapist and being in her office i felt so scared i didn't know how to approach it i didn't know if i should show my fem side right away ,i don't know i was just afraid she wouldn't believe me that i feel like a girl

[Tina Dixon]

I think she used to all sort of things.

[Elsbeth]

i just met with my sex therapist and being in her office i felt so scared i didn't know how to approach it i didn't know if i should show my fem side right away ,i don't know i was just afraid she wouldn't believe me that i feel like a girl

Well, if she doesn't I'd definitely get a new therapist! :)

Just take a deep breath, be honest, and go with the flow. Don't try to rush anything just talk with her. Ease into things. It will all work out.

El

[Deborah Jane]

I told my therapist on the 3rd session and she said "Why is it a problem ?". I have since talked it through with her and she has helped me come to terms with who i am and given me the confidence to be me!

[JOEY88]

Just take a deep breath, be honest, and go with the flow. Don't try to rush anything just talk with her. Ease into things. It will all work out.

El[/QUOTE]

thanks i think if i can just relax she can really help me, i usually worm up to people over time

[trannie T]

If your therapist is any good at all she should be familiar with all forms of transgender issues. If she has been practicing any length of time she will have seen many crossdressers. So how do you tell her about yourself? Say, "I enjoy wearing women's clothes."
She is a therapist, talk to her.

[DonnaT]

Write it down and hand it to her when time for the appointment, if you can't bring yourself to speak the words.

[JOEY88]

Ive told her its just I'm scared to open up to show my fem side completely

[AmberTG]

Joey, who better to open up to then a therapist trained in gender and emotional issues? I know it's not easy, I understand that. Maybe you should just tell her "I feel like a girl on the inside and I don't know how to deal with it." That will gives her the information she needs to start her work with you. She'll help you explore your issues that way.

[trannie T]

In our society it is often difficult to talk of things of a sexual nature. In the last year I've come out to a few people and it was not easy. The more you discuss it with your therapist the easier it will become.
There is nothing wrong with crossdressing.
There is nothing wrong in being a crossdresser.
You have nothing to fear from your therapist.

[Elsbeth]

Just take a deep breath, be honest, and go with the flow. Don't try to rush anything just talk with her. Ease into things. It will all work out.

El



thanks i think if i can just relax she can really help me, i usually worm up to people over time

Cool. Sounds like a plan.

Just don't tell her you are going to worm up to her! :tongueout

It will all be fine.

El

[KimberlyS]

A therapist is there to help you. And she can only help if you open up to her. Like Donna said, write it down. Write down the things you want to tell her. That should help you to loosen up.

KimberlyS

[MJ]

OK now here this .... relax first of all you need to just talk with your therapist first.. i went 3 times to mine she knew from the first visit after the third visit she then ask me to show up as mj so let your shrink lead you, she probably as seen it all so take it easy .. you will be OK remember baby steps

[TxKimberly]

Well, I've never seen one so perhaps I'm not the best person to offer advice. I've never let that stop me before, so why start now? :-)
Seems to me your are paying this person a good deal to help advise you and to help you address things that bother you. Not telling her is pretty much paying her to try and help you to get someplace while you have her blind folded. It just doesn't make sense. Save yourself some time and money and just get it on out there so it can be delt with.

[uknowhoo]

I remember vividly the day 3 1/2 years ago when I first went to my therapist and told her I was a CD. It was well before finding this place, and coming to much better terms with the whole thing. I was literally shaking like a leaf when I told her (after 30 minutes of pre-explanation). That seems forever ago now, and I'm completely comfy talking about most anything with her.

It will just take a lil time. Don't rush yourself too much, but do keep in mind there's nothing to fear. All you discuss is completely confidential. Worse case, you stop seeing her if it doesn't work out.

Good luck, and take care.

xoxo

Tammi

[Billijo49504]

I'd say if you are not honest, you are wasting your money...BJ

[sterling12]

And being a very practical person, may I suggest that you will be wasting a lot of time, and money.

The sooner you let The Cat out of The Bag.....the sooner you two can be working on getting at the real problems. The sooner you tell your story, the sooner you can "move on down the road," if that's your choice.

Therapists are trained in "Nonjudgemental." It's almost a fetish for them. Unless we are talking about one of these therapists with a religious bent or some other agenda, can't imagine that it will be a problem.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Glenda58]

Just tell her she has heard it all you are not the first one she has seen that wants to be a girl. The sooner she knows the sooner she can help you.

[Deanna2]

You told all of us, so it can't be too hard. I'm wondering why you need to go to a therapist and tell her anything - particularly if it only about having femme feelings.

[RobertaFermina]

Tell her it is so, that you have this side, and its attendant desires and practices....

Show it to her at YOUR PACE....cause you want to be real....not a rushed performance.

Your Therapist will understand you taking your time, and may find great value in watching the tentative steps you take to reveal yourself.

simply...taking your time may be the best thing for you and your therapist.

:hugs:

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[biguy4tvtscd]

I'm of the opinion that if you cannot tell your therapist ANYTHING, then it's time to find a new therapist.

Just up and tell her. Believe me, she's likely heard it all before, so odds are you won't be shocking her.

Besides, whats the worst that can happen? Will she laugh? Tell someone? Run out of the room screaming? If she values her license at all, the answer is most assuredly no.

[MJ]

Anyway the best Therapist are right here and there free :D

[nikki_t]

Your sex therapist CANNOT be shocked - believe me. She could probably tell you stuff that'd make your toes curl up in horror. :eek:

[Ruth]

I went to a therapist who had been very highly recommended and I told her all about Ruth. It was difficult getting started but once the cat was out of the bag everything was just fine. Also it turned out that I was the first CDer that she had ever encountered. We have had a great joint voyage of discovery together. As others have said, good therapists are non-judgemental and will work through your stuff with you regardless of what it is.

[Carin]

Go to you appointment. Spend the usual 2 minutes chitchatting. He/She says, "so what's going on for you this week".

You say.
OK, so here's the thing. I crossdress, and I don't know how to tell you about it.


That's it.
He/She will take it from there. :hugs:

[Jillm]

A therapists is like a computer, the better input you give it, the better output you get.

[ChrisP]

Having done the therapy thing myself (and gotten an awful lot of positives out of it)....think of the sessions as "your time".

Bring up the things that you've been thinking the most about, and that you haven't been able to solve/understand on your own.

As to going to the sessions dressed or not, that's your call.
Would it add anything to what you're delving into?
Don't be afraid to ask your therapist her opinion on you dressing for a session.

I wish you well on this road to understanding,

Chris