"Are you shopping for your wife?"

[jjjjohanne]

I frequently hear forum members say their SA's will ask them "Are you shopping for your wife?" when they are out shopping for themselves. I started thinking, why would they ask that? I personally believe that US Americans are able to do so because they are are trying to ask you are you shopping for yourself. Why does it matter *who* the clothes are for. It only matters if the clothes are for you or not for you, right?

I don't go shopping that often, so I make this a project for you of the forum... The next time you go shopping in drab and someone asks you this, if you are comfortable telling them that they are for you, then do so and ask if my theory is correct. Then come tell me!

If my theory is correct, then you can know that anytime they ask you this question, they are CD friendly.

I hope you enjoyed my Miss Teen USA reference!

Joe

[switcheralso]

I have shopped for wigs in drab and tried them on in the store with sales help. I have thought about the question in VS and states it my wife.

[Karren H]

They don't ask me that anymore... esecially when I emerge from the fitting room with an arm load of dresses that I just tried on... lol

Karren

[Kate Simmons]

I believe most of the female SA's ask that just to make conversation and thereby making a guy feel less self conscious. Also it infers that they think it's nice that you are buying something nice for your SO. Sometimes, trying to be cute, they will say something like:"I think that would good on you." A couple of times I said:"I hope so." and their expression changed to: Whoops, don't wanna go there.:heehee:

[DonnaT]

I've never had an SA ask me "Are you shopping for your wife?" in the 32 years I've been married.

I've had assuptions, like size, color and taste questions. When this happens I will tell them it's for me, sometimes.

I've never been offered the use of the women's dressing rooms either.

[Di]

Depending on what stores you shop in....alot of stores the SA is on commision..and others the SA has so many minutes in which to approach a customer......and they are just trying to think of something to say to get at...what you or who you are looking for....................I have a friend that is a manager at a large retail store.....and they grade the employees on these things for raises ect...( so many minutes to approach the customer...offer a greeting ...find out who it is for....wife mother daughter...her likes dislikes in order to help you........... Bottom line....it is a sale...they are just doing what they have to.....you are reading much to much in this.

[Desiree2bababe]

I always love it when the sales girls gives me that knowing smile. I have told them the truth before and they get all excited and help me even more.

[JoAnnDallas]

I ususally have then say something like, "Are you finding everything you want?" or "Are you looking for something spercific?" Then the last time, I got up to the checkout and the GG kept commenting on how cute the items were that I was putting on the counter. LOL

[Marcie Sexton]

For me there are no questions, but rather comments about what a great hubbie I am :heehee:. When I shop I always buy something for both of us...although I am a bit less conserative than my wife...:rolleyes:

On the few times I have been ask, I make it no better or worse, I will hold it up against my waist or top and ask do you think it will fit...Then I get the roll of the eyes and left to shop at my leasure...

[Kris]

On the few times I have been ask, I make it no better or worse, I will hold it up against my waist or top and ask do you think it will fit...Then I get the roll of the eyes and left to shop at my leasure...

Do you mean they wont help you because they know you are shopping for yourself? I don't ever want to go to WV...... It also makes me wonder if the SA's are like this in my town.. Gosh I hope not....... how absolutely rude.

Sorry they are like that to you, everyone can use help because you can't know everything that is in the store.

Kris :hugs:

[sissystephanie]

Depending on what stores you shop in....alot of stores the SA is on commision..and others the SA has so many minutes in which to approach a customer......and they are just trying to think of something to say to get at...what you or who you are looking for....................I have a friend that is a manager at a large retail store.....and they grade the employees on these things for raises ect...( so many minutes to approach the customer...offer a greeting ...find out who it is for....wife mother daughter...her likes dislikes in order to help you........... Bottom line....it is a sale...they are just doing what they have to.....you are reading much to much in this.

Di is, as usual, right on. Joe, you are reading much too much into what the SA is saying. When my late wife and I shopped together I picked out a lot of her clothes. On occasion, if she was not close by, the SA would ask that same question. Sometimes I would respond, "well, I am not sure whether to get it for or for myself!" That would usually get a laugh, and sometimes the SA would tell me that it would look good on me. As Di put it, they are just trying to be friendly and helpful.

Now that I am alone, I just go in any ladies store, in drab or enfemme (no wig or makeup) and pick out what I want. I always tell the SA I am buying for myself! Haven't had any problems in the last two years of doing that. BTW, VS stores are very nice to CD's!

Sissy

More Girl than man sometimes

[sybercom11]

I had gone to a wig shop in downtown Pittsburgh for many years until it closed and they must have had a lot of CDs go in there.
Of course, you would never be buying a wig for someone as a gift so they know right off the bat you are shopping for yourself.

But these ladies would take you around the store to make some selections then take you into a back room with mirrors to try them on. I was nervous the first time, but after that I looked forward to it.

Also, I try on women's items in department stores, but in the men's fitting rooms and only pretty much if there are not any other guys around there. By the way, ever notice that guys rarely try on things anyway? Many of the better stores do not even check you before you go in and there may be a security tag on the item anyway so they have no need to check you.

[kymmieLorain]

I must not be shoping at the right places I have yet to be asked the question. LOL

Kymmie

[Emma England]

I have never had this asked of me.

If no other customers are around, and time is dragging, the sa may say "are you ok?" just to be friendly. My response is normally "fine thanks".

If an sa does ask you this, this implies to me that they have had guys buy for themselves before you.

That would make them cd-friendly, so you have nothing to worry about!

[Eugenie]

Actually, I have indeed and honestly been shopping for my wife several times... The SAs were quite surprised that I knew very well what type of underwear she liked ad that I even knew her precise size...

Now when I buy for myself, I go to department stores in drab and pick up the clothes and underwear directly on the racks. Sometimes, when I feel it is necessary for me to try a skirt or a top on, I say to the SA that it is for me. And if they are incredulous, which is often the case, I take a photographic picture of me "en femme" and say "Well, that's me, see why I want that type of skirt (or top)?" I've never had a negative reaction. Actually a couple of times the sales attendant told me that she wished she had as much cleavage as I have... :heehee:

In most cases they are just happy to make a sale...
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kimberly]

The only time I've said "It's for me" to an SA, she's laughed... I think it was out of her own embarrasment -- but it was "Are these a present, then?"

Who buys leggings and accessories as a present...? - No, scratch that, probably someone...

[Wendy me]

my thoughts when a SA ask's ....Are you shopping for your wife?" or Are you shopping for your girlfriend ?" they are trying to do their job .... to know abought the age /style you might be looking in ... i have been asked many times ... sometimes i say yes for my wife ...(because i buy her things all the time ) and sometimes i say for me... if i see something that i like it's going to take a lot more than worrying abought a sa's opinion abought why i bought it to keep me from buying it.....

[Jodi]

Depending on what stores you shop in....alot of stores the SA is on commision..and others the SA has so many minutes in which to approach a customer......and they are just trying to think of something to say to get at...what you or who you are looking for....................I have a friend that is a manager at a large retail store.....and they grade the employees on these things for raises ect...( so many minutes to approach the customer...offer a greeting ...find out who it is for....wife mother daughter...her likes dislikes in order to help you........... Bottom line....it is a sale...they are just doing what they have to.....you are reading much to much in this.

Di, You are correct. When I worked at New York & Co and The Limited, we had a specific protocol for greeting shoppers. In each store, we had 30 seconds to greet the customer. We were not to ask any question that would require a yes or no answer. "Are you shopping for your wife?" would not be an appropriate question. I would open with How are you doing?, and What kind of a great outfit are you looking for today? If htey were just brousing, I was required to explain the sale items and what items were hot sellers. I would then turn them loose to brouse.

If the customer snubbed me or pushed me away, I would back off, but I would not take my eyes off of him/her. Pushing away the SA is strike one for a possible shoplifter. Add to this if you are nervous. That is strike two. So--if you want to bring much unwanted attention onto yourself while shopping, just shoo away the SA when she approaches to help, and be nervous while you do it. Will guarantee that every eye in the store will be on you until you leave.

It is best to relax, smile and tell the SA that you are shopping for yourself. A good SA will do all she can to help. She wants the sale and the return customer.

Jodi

[trannie T]

I have no problem telling sales associates who the clothes are for. I have been complimented for buying things for my wife then told them that the clothes were for me. A few times a clueless sales associate has asked if I was going to wear the clothes, it is then fun to watch their reaction when I say yes I am.

[faltenrock]

Walking into a store dressed up is very honest, the side effect is that no one will ask the question whom it's for. I tend to shop dressed up mostly, the SA's are very nice and helpful.

[Satrana]

Also I would imagine most female SAs seeing a man looking around woman's clothing would be thinking that we men are clueless about what we should be buying for our ladies and so are offering their services as women to help us make a suitable purchase.

[Angie G]

I'm going to do that :hugs:
Angie

[Katrina]

Here is how it usually works for me:

Me: <browsing>
SA: Can I help you with anything?
Me: No, I'm just looking right now. Thank you.
SA: <smiles and walks away>
Me: <browsing>
....
Me: Can I try these on?
SA: Sure.

By that time, I'm pretty sure they have the idea that the clothes might be for me...

[SarahLynn]

My most interesting experience was a couple of years ago in a JCPenny's store. It was just after Christmas and i had made several selections from the hosery department as they were on sale. When i took them to the counter for checkout the SA on duty at the cash register asked if they were for my wife. I quite politely answered, "Does it matter?" She got all embarressed and after lowereing her eyes said, "No." I just smiled at her and said with a laugh and a wink, "Thanks Honey." i have no idea what she thought after that, as i then departed the store.

SarahLynn

[juliek]

I'm with Katrina. I typically state I am browsing and head for the clearance rack. After touching everything on both sides of the size I wear (since stuff is often misplaced), I grab a few things and state that I want to try them on. I have yet to be turned down for a dressing room.

[JoAnnDallas]

When I went to Payless, I had two SA's approach me. The first one asked if I needed any help. I politly told him No Thank You. The other one came up to me while I was checking out a pair in front of the mirror and she remarked that the heels I had on went well with my outfit. I thanked her and decided that they did go well with my outfit and bought them.
I learned that
1. act like you shop there all the time.
2. don't act nervious
3. be friendly with those around you, including the SA's

I have not had any problem with interfacing with the SA's and no one around me paid much attention to me.

[Nastasha]

Sure I've been asked. The first few times I said yes .. but then I had one SA tell me straight up .. "If it's for you, let me know , we'll make sure you get the right fit and style".

After that .. I just let them know it's for me

[ophillia]

When I went to Payless, I had two SA's approach me. The first one asked if I needed any help. I politly told him No Thank You. The other one came up to me while I was checking out a pair in front of the mirror and she remarked that the heels I had on went well with my outfit. I thanked her and decided that they did go well with my outfit and bought them.
I learned that
1. act like you shop there all the time.
2. don't act nervious
3. be friendly with those around you, including the SA's

I have not had any problem with interfacing with the SA's and no one around me paid much attention to me.

Payless is great, whenever I walk in (in drab or dressed) one of the girls come over and show me everything that they have in my size. They are very helpful in matching shoes to an outfit.