Relation with loved SO

[Valerie]

I am terrified about losing the love of my wife. Even if she has been extremely supportive, I know reading posts from GGs that I can't expect her to desire me when I am becoming more and more feminine. I feel like a young lover again, trying to seduce her. There may be a positive side to this, but I was wondering if I could hear some positive, uplifting stories to cheer me up.

Valerie

[Dee Talbot]

I understand that for many SO's, it is difficult to accept one's partner in the bedroom while dressed. Many women just feel more comfortable with their man being ultra-manly during private times.

I'm not sure if I can share a story that you find uplifting. I'm not sure if you need reassurance that a wife can still be attracted to her CD spouse, or if you are looking for ways to keep the romance when a wife is not attracted to her spouse who is en femme.

I can share my story. When Barb first came out to me, she wanted me to find her desirable as Barb. If I didn't find her desirable, then she would find it next to impossible to be Barb, and therefore wouldn't feel complete.

Without giving personal and intimate details, I did find that I was as attracted to Barbara as I was to her male side. And that happened because I realized that, the outer covering of makeup, wig, clothes, whatever....were just that. An outer covering. I was still attracted to and in love with the person inside. Gender was immaterial. It was the person who mattered to me.

Dee

[Valerie]

Dee, I am very grateful for your posting. It is exactly what I hope may happen to us, that beyond all the exterior trappings, as important as they can be, there is something at the core that we love of each other. Many, many thanks!

Valerie

[Byllie]

There are two phrases that come to mind ...

Baby steps

... and ...

Life is a compromise

Hope they help.

[sobe1ove GG]

Now... be warned that she might never want to be with you romantically and sexually that way. After all, it is a lot to ask. But don't take it personally. In most cases, it isn't about you, but about her own feelings toward femininity and masculinity and what she's attracted to.

You can't ask her to be attracted to you as a woman any more than she can ask you to stop being a cross dresser.

[Valerie]

I do understand what you say and, precisely because I do, there is fear. My question does not imply that my SO should like me when I am all dressed up --she has been absolutely wonderful up to now -- but put differently: Are there some exceptional SOs out there who actually prefer their partners as femmes? Again, not that this should be the case for all people or that my wife should become one of them. Simply, do they exist?

Valerie

[Veronica Fallon]

Well first of all, I hope you're very, VERY appreciative of having a supportive partner at all. I've been surprised by how many supportive S/O's I've seen here, but having one is still a precious gift to be cherished.
Second, you might get lucky eventually & find her attraction to you en-femme growing. Two of my last five GF's absolutely loved having sex with me as "Veronica". Two others were cool with it but sort of indifferent to whether I was male or female. Just remember to move at her pace, & don't get too pushy. If she wants to experience the "softer side of you", it will be by her choice, & in her time. Good luck! :D

Hugz,

Veronica

P.S.- And yes, my current GF does indeed prefer me en-femme!!