Questions, and my story ._.

[Baiken]

okay...first off...this site is awesome >< and..i hope that you could be kind enough to give me advice or help me...

i'll start the questions after my story....i must say though...this is stuff i've told no-one before >< so...i'm scared (tho i can trust you people i guess =D)
a warning to people...i tend to dance around the subject in my opinion...i'll try and keep it down to a minimum...but i really really suck at keeping on topic ._.;

Okay,

at first i was going to post this topic in the MtF crossdressing forum...but, it may be better off here..I've thought of this in the past week or so a lot more than i ever have...and have thought about is seriously..doing research and such...

Okay, here goes =D

I guess that i'm not an average guy...i've never really fitted in at school and such...and at college and my

life..i've found it hard to talk to others/males in general.
I'm nervous...and shy..i used to have a big problem with my nerves...which led to me dropping out of high school, staying indoors and only leaving the house at nights...due to fear of people...
I've noticed i'm not like other guys in a few ways before and i've motly kept that to myself. Whereas most guys i've met or socialised with seem to be concerned about sex...or a womans body..to the point that they need to state that they enjoy it, I have found that when this happens, i feel very different than them ._.;. I've also noticed that most of the time i'm not as attracted to girls as much as a regular guy...and have only ever liked a girl...after having known her for a long period of time before (as with the first girl i cared about.) Ironically...i think the reason i ever came to terms with my feelings, and started thinking about this..was because of her. my interest in crossdressing...started a couple of years ago...i've not tried dressing much...and i've only tried underwear and such...but i enjoyed it...this...i've never told anyone..because i was too scared ><

i had once tried to talk to the girl about this...but...never got there...in the end i ended up discussing sexuality....(i also felt down that i could never get the courage to try and talk to her about these things...)
The second reason...that i guess i've thought about things...is that i've been attracted to men...mostly...more than i was to females >< i'm also a little weirder i guess....i was always open about liking certain guys to the girl i mentioned...and sometimes to close friends at college...but i also like anime/manga characters and pairings.
One of the things that always appealed to me in fanart...was characters who crossdressed ><

as you may have guessed by now...i'm not.....well..i've not always felt like this...or i'm not one of the people who "knew" since they were very young.

my childhood may be a good thing to discuss too...since i wasn't always normal then too ^^'
unlike the other kids...i always played with girls ._.; until i was around 11 years old...and i moved...i always used to play with girls and play Home games or Doctor and nurse etc =3
I guess you could say i wasn't so interested in what other boys were ._.;
once i'd moved when i was older...high school came around...and at my first high school...i wasn't unpopular ._. but i also didn't feel the same as the other guys =/
I hung out mostly with alterna-kids/goths/people who liked metal..and once more...i got on with the girls or older guys more ><

at my second high school...i moved out of the main city...and everything got VERY different....i felt very weird at my new school...and i felt like i was never really accepted...this was when i first started noticing how other males are usually jerks =/ the type of people who would tease you over the clothes you wore, or over the music you listened to (their assumptions on my music taste were also very wrong sometimes ._.)
in the short time i was there...i made friends with girls more than guys....
this was when things got bad...and i got nervous...not wanting to go to school...and eventually not going at all..i'd had a small period where i did go back...but was put in a catch-up class/easing me back into learning...i did well as always...and i got better grades than most in my classes =/ i'd met a girl named laura in that time...and became great friends with her ^^' she was in the catch-up class too....i found myself getting along with her a lot more easier...and found i related to her feelings more ><

so...that's most of it i guess...up until the current....
i'm not what you'd call a striking/sure-chance person who you'd say would want to be a girl...but for the last 4 years or so of my life, i've felt that way...but never thought about it much, i've told this...that i'd have rather been born a girl to close friends...but not many....the special girl i mentioned....i told her that...and she said it wasn't a bad thing...

so yeah.....after thinking long and hard...and feeling rather down during my research i've realised that it's maybe not that i want to crossdress...but rather that i DO want to be a girl...i'm unhappy with my male body, and i'm unhappy with what's expected of me as a male....

anyway...onto my questions...or what i'd life help with...

i know that to legally get hormones/HRT...you have to see a therapist...and then a doctor..the therapist then may have to be convinced you have GID (i think...or from what i remember), anyway...i SUCK at covincing people...i don't think i could

i'd also heard that here in the UK...you may be asked to go through RLE/similar...and well....this...i think...would maybe be very hard...or transitioning anyway...without hormones.
I shall explain this too....in my area....people don't take to sudden change well...and if i had to go through a transition period or RLE without hormones...i'm especially sure i'd be in big trouble....i'm not too popular here since i didn't attend school...and because of what i'd mentioned above

i'm also rather young (around 18)...and on my roadplan...i had hoped to get everything sorted by the time i was 19..or approaching it =/
my question...relating to the comment above...is that i'm scared they also won't allow me to get HRT because i'm too young...which...is scaring me >< since i'm still young...i believe that if i start HRT now...my body won't develop even further as a man...and that results may be easier...i feel paranoid about this...but...i'm probably just being silly...

anyway...that's all of my questions for now >< and all of my story...i hope you can help in some way or comment....and i hope i've not offended anyone....

Note: i'm also in the UK...which is why i'm a little more scared about certain questions...due to that most of the guides i'd read were for US people etc....

[Veris]

Wow, Baiken, you and I are very alike.

Aside from the moving around (I was very stationary, Love my parents for that), school was very much the same as far as friends, likes, and feelings. I didn't like boys that much because of my peers and trying to fit in, but lately, I've realized they are not -all- bad ^_^

Anyway, on to the questions;

As I understand it, you do have to see a therapist, and they have to believe you have GID. I think the main point here is that you don't just 'want' to be female, but that you feel like your life can't go on as it is without.

Being young is a good thing! The sooner you start, the happier you'll be, as long as you're sure this is truly what you want. I think the biggest difficulties of starting at a younger age is the costs involved, and convincing parents it's not just a 'phase' (Assuming you haven't moved out already).

As far as I know, there's no age limit to this. It's just harder to know/get it done at younger ages because of certain factors. Also, if I remember right, I think I've heard a story of some as young as 7 having gone through it in some countries? Correct me if I'm wrong though ^_^;

And Baiken, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, I wouldn't mind talking too, we're in pretty similar boats =^.^=

[Baiken]

Wow, Baiken, you and I are very alike.

Aside from the moving around (I was very stationary, Love my parents for that), school was very much the same as far as friends, likes, and feelings. I didn't like boys that much because of my peers and trying to fit in, but lately, I've realized they are not -all- bad ^_^

Anyway, on to the questions;

As I understand it, you do have to see a therapist, and they have to believe you have GID. I think the main point here is that you don't just 'want' to be female, but that you feel like your life can't go on as it is without.

Being young is a good thing! The sooner you start, the happier you'll be, as long as you're sure this is truly what you want. I think the biggest difficulties of starting at a younger age is the costs involved, and convincing parents it's not just a 'phase' (Assuming you haven't moved out already).

As far as I know, there's no age limit to this. It's just harder to know/get it done at younger ages because of certain factors. Also, if I remember right, I think I've heard a story of some as young as 7 having gone through it in some countries? Correct me if I'm wrong though ^_^;

And Baiken, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, I wouldn't mind talking too, we're in pretty similar boats =^.^=

thank-you ! >< i can't PM yet...but after this post i may be able to b>.>b

i know that not all guys are bad~ ! i have a few friends...but few...means 3....3 male friends that i approve of =/
which to me seems a little silly considering how many guys i've met in the last two years... .___.;

i suck at convincing as i said....but i get the feeling...that right now...if i couldn't find some way to feel....normal again ._.; ...that i may just get depressed and fall back into the cycle of not leaving =/ i shut myself in because i was unhappy with myself...and even now i have little confidence, i'd rather die than be unhappy for a long time....

as for the costs...that's why on my roadmap...i set a date in around a few months...to about a year..but i WILL know my answer by 20...or else i'll just get angry at myself for being indecisive...
but the costs....i'd happily accept them....and in the end....i have very little of a life worth living right now...taking hormones...or changing...to what i'd like to be...may help me out..and finally give me the confidence...

a new thing i never mentioned above...but have thought about...is how the change would work out...
currently i started a new job about a month ago..i love it...and hope to stay in it for many years =D even if it is only part time..the people there are awesome....however..i'm really scared about how to change my details...or if i could even do that @-@
i think the manager of the store is pretty cool...and she's very understanding...but asking her how the company would deal with a member of staff on HRT/looking at changing to female...is something that'd be very hard to ask (i won't ask her this....for a great many months...)

anyway >< hopefully i can PM now '-'b

[Kieron Andrew]

First thing you will need to do is go to your GP and ask for NHS Gender related counselling, who will then in turn refer you to a GIC (gender Identity Clinic).....your age will have no bearing on this process, i spoke to a person just this past weekend who was 17 and was told they would have to wait til they were 18 to go on hormones, so you are in line for that......you dont have to convince anyone, you just have to be open and honest about your GD........ unfortunately it is a long process, you wont get hormones straight away and you WILL have to do RLE for at least 2years before you get surgery but you will get hormones within the 2years RLE at some point, i hope this clears up some of the questions, there is no quick fix process

[Veris]

Hmm, yeah.. I don't know all the little details for changing little bits like name, gender, etc. in UK =\


but i get the feeling...that right now...if i couldn't find some way to feel....normal again ._.; ...that i may just get depressed and fall back into the cycle of not leaving =/ i shut myself in because i was unhappy with myself...and even now i have little confidence, i'd rather die than be unhappy for a long time....


I know -exactly- what you mean there. I've been cycling in and out of depression since I got out of school, just had small jobs until recently since I can't work at McDonalds all my life, and in finding a career, I didn't know what I wanted out of life that would make me happy. Until I met my mate~

Still don't know what I want to do though ;p

Also, I wouldn't worry about trying to 'convince' the therapist of anything. They will ask the right questions, and you will have the right answers for yourself. It's not like you're going in there to sway the jury ^_^


i think the manager of the store is pretty cool...and she's very understanding...but asking her how the company would deal with a member of staff on HRT/looking at changing to female...is something that'd be very hard to ask (i won't ask her this....for a great many months...)

From what I've read on the forums, the best thing to do is not bring it up to them until it's absolutely necessary. But it does sound like you have a nice thing going there, I wish you luck in that ^_^


Oh, if you still can't PM yet, I'm always on my instant messengers, should be some links to the left~

[Baiken]

thanks Kieron Andrew '-'b it's helpful to hear about the process in the UK ! >< but the RLE still seems really scary....

It's not like you're going in there to sway the jury ^_^


it's easy to sway the jury ! >.>;
as long as i have edgey on my side =3


http://i147.photobucket.com/albums/r283/Holy_order_sol/ani-edgeworth-finger-tap.gif



Oh, if you still can't PM yet, I'm always on my instant messengers, should be some links to the left~


it doesn't show them either yet T-T

edit : now it shows =3 11 posts is the TRUE numbah~

[Kieron Andrew]

thanks Kieron Andrew '-'b it's helpful to hear about the process in the UK ! >< but the RLE still seems really scary....

RLE may be scary, but it is necessary in the UK to show you can and are willing to live in the role whilst transitioning, to basically show you are serious about transitioning ........and its not as bad as you first may think, you will have help preparing you for that time through the GIC