CD/TG spectrum evolution

[Veronica Fallon]

Hi all,

I’ve been wondering lately about some of our apparent evolutions upwards on the CD/TG spectrum. It seems that some of us are quite content with lesser degrees of dressing for most (or all) of our lives, while others go through progressive stages- evolving towards more & more femininity, both physically & emotionally.

I myself was a sporadic, part-time dresser for many years, & felt more or less, kinda-sorta, basically, pretty-much content with it. :sigh: All I had to do was redirect my mind whenever I’d get that dreamy, yearning feeling in my soul. :notlistening: [Sometimes were easier than others!!] :notlistening: I subconsciously avoided looking for sites like this, or reading TG erotica, or watching TG porn, or even gazing at clothing catalogs or displays in stores. I think my subconscious felt safe that way- “Whatever remains untested can remain unknown & unacknowledged, & therefore grant me plausible-deniability”! :hmph: Then I once again found a very supportive GGF who all but demanded that I dress as much as possible. My feminine feelings (no longer ignored & now fully freed) came rolling & thundering through me like a great (pink) wave. I still didn’t have all the words for what I felt, but I knew then that my femininity ran waaaay deeper than I’d ever dared consider before. The overwhelmingly intense feelings of “rightness” made it easier to accept that I was more woman than man inside, & I (finally!!) embraced my womanhood all the way. I began dressing almost daily & started cruising the internet & books for TG info. Over the course of the next year or so, my femme feelings changed. Instead of just wanting to wear lingerie whenever at home, & having sex mostly as a woman, I more & more yearned to “be” a woman just as much as I could without SRS. I began to daydream about cosmetic surgery & HRT. I wanted to join the TG community & connect with some sisters. I wanted to experience the whole outside world as my feminine self! Even my long-time bisexual yearnings seemed to increase with the idea of pleasuring a man as a woman. The pink-fog enveloped me & has now become a somewhat permanent part of my atmosphere.

Years ago I thought of myself as 20-30% female in my soul. Now I know myself as 75-85% woman. For me (& my clever subconscious) the spectrum evolution was conditional. When my blinders came off & my door to “the ladies room” opened wide, I moved quickly to my true place on the scale. I feel very confident that although my behaviors might fluctuate, my position on the TG spectrum will not. I’m where I belong.:D

I know that our individual stories can vary widely here, so I’m wondering how many others have moved significantly up (or down) the spectrum scale, & to what do you attribute your movement? I imagine many GG’s have concerns about this too, so I’m hoping for some thoughtful responses here.

Thankfulish Hugz,

Veronica

[Marla S]

I know that our individual stories can vary widely here, so I’m wondering how many others have moved significantly up (or down) the spectrum scale, & to what do you attribute your movement? I imagine many GG’s have concerns about this too, so I’m hoping for some thoughtful responses here.


I general I neither moved up nor down, I moved (move) towards a state I can maintain and I feel most comfortable with.
(Of course I had the pink fog thing too, thought there would be a progression towards TS, etc.)

Despite there is a gender spectrum, there are only two slots: man and woman.

Once I realized that the combination of my inner and outer characteristics, which make the complete person, are not enough for the woman-slot, I decided for the male-slot.
Kind of a big relieve on the one side, because I don't have to bother anymore about a lot of things, sometimes a burden because I have no chance to blend in, sometimes depressing when it gets pink-foggy at times.

I have already stated it somewhere else:

My approach was and is 24/7, everywhere, seeing everyone.

I had the chance to make this CD real life check for 1.5 years now. This time set quite a few things for me into perspective that I never would have realized with periodical dressing. I am thankful for that.

Nevertheless, I think everything could have come different if I would think a touch more "girly" and, probably more important, if I would have a touch more feminine physical features.

With my set of features (inner and outer) I rather like to live as feminine man than as masculine woman.

In terms of up and down: some things up some things down, more an iterative process of trial and error than a straight progression.

[Linda-x]

My Cd desires used to be either completely on, or off, in a cycle. That was years ago. Mostly now, it is always in my thoughts, and a constant part of me, whether dressing or not. The shame I used to feel is no longer with me, as a result of knowing other CD/TG's, and accepting myself. I seem to be concerned about my looks, and presentation, more than who I am inside. I don't think this is especially a balanced way to live in my CD world, so the next part of my evolution hopefully will add some depth. As far as going through stages of crossdressing, then transitioning, as many do, regardless of age, I think I am just going to live out my life exploring, and refining my CD persona.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

I think it takes some of us a long time to find out where on the gender spectrum we're most comfortable. I see it as a learning process. Revelation rather than evolution.

[RylieCD]

My GID feelings span from CD to TS. Some days/weeks I feel fine with who I am, a closeted MTF CD. Other Days/Week my feelings are just screaming to be woman, to go to work in a dress, etc. It can be quite confusing when you feel like a man one day and like a woman the next and trying to tell your wife that all is going to be OK.

[Sasha Anne Meadows]

I started dressing evenings , then after work, now I am dressed any time I am at home which is most of the time since retiring.

[Stephenie S]

If you had told me a year ago that Stephenie would be living and working 24/7, I would have laughed. Although this has been a part of me for over 50 years, I was not aware of the changes that were coming. So for me, there has definately been a developemental process.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Satinpeta]

If places like this web site were available some 20 or 30 years ago I would be a woman by now as back in the late 60's and 70's to be a CD was not a thing one could do and "get away with it" thing, heck would a bloke get his ears pieced then? But even now I if things were to change I would be off to have the operation tomorrow! I love being the woman inside of me. Take Care

[MarinaTwelve200]

A CD/TS "spectrum" makes little sense---CDing is something you DO , not what you are-- at least not in the same sense. You may CD because you ARE TS. Its what degree of TS you are not a range between CD and TS.

What if you CD as an "escape"? or CD for the thrill of the risk?---Here CDing has NOTHING to do with TS or TG tendancies. CDing, dressing like the opposite sex/gender, is something that is DONE for many reasons.

You can only actually BE a CD in the same way you can BE a (automobile) DRIVER---its something you DO, at times, and not what you are--unless you drive a truck or cab. for example, for a living.

[Veronica Fallon]

A CD/TS "spectrum" makes little sense---CDing is something you DO , not what you are-- at least not in the same sense. You may CD because you ARE TS. Its what degree of TS you are not a range between CD and TS.

What if you CD as an "escape"? or CD for the thrill of the risk?---Here CDing has NOTHING to do with TS or TG tendancies. CDing, dressing like the opposite sex/gender, is something that is DONE for many reasons.

You can only actually BE a CD in the same way you can BE a (automobile) DRIVER---its something you DO, at times, and not what you are--unless you drive a truck or cab. for example, for a living.

Very true Marina, I agree with you completely. I merely expressed it as- "CD/TG" so everyone here could feel that the question was directed towards them, no matter which they identified themselves as.

Posting here is a challenge sometimes. I hope to be a better writer someday, one who can be clear, concise, & eloquent, all at the same time. :silly:

More hugz,

Veronica

[MarinaTwelve200]

Very true Marina, I agree with you completely. I merely expressed it as- "CD/TG" so everyone here could feel that the question was directed towards them, no matter which they identified themselves as.

Posting here is a challenge sometimes. I hope to be a better writer someday, one who can be clear, concise, & eloquent, all at the same time. :silly:

More hugz,

Veronica

Yes it IS difficult to post here as people have different personal definitions of terms. I often present how I define a term before I get into a discussion of it so all parties involved are on the same page and know what we are talking about.

I am glad you can see where I am coming from in my approach to "CD" And I think I see your direction too---my statements were mostly for a degree of clarification for those who are already confused, so they might get a clearer view of things. We are both talking about two somewhat different aspects in respect to CDing, and I hope I made the distinction clear enough so that other readers can SEE and think about these differences.

[RobertaFermina]

I'm still breaking new ground every month.

I keep surprising myself.


I like surprises !

If "ahead" is toward fuller Feminine Identity, HRT and SRS, then I'm creeping ahead.

I imagine a glass wall at HRT...tell myself NAH! Glad to be a Guy.

Still I have found myself in moments of Feminine Identification that have turned my self-concept upside down, and excited, wierded-out, or terrified those around me, depending on "their" attachment to the "Bob-Concept."

I'm still hanging on to him loosely....and its still an amazing Pas de Deux !

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Chantelle CD]

For me i am only one gender, the one i was born, but that doesn't stop me from feeling what i can feel, in all reality, what i feel i become, so i can dress up, and become that what i feel is opposite to my everyday self. the intensity of that has slowly stopped, growing for me, the more i realize, that i can be what ever i feel, and accept that. the longer time between dressing, gives me a greater sense of ahhhhhhh YES, im back, The more i dress, the more it feels normal, and more balance is what i need, i like being both, one not more than the other, they both feel great to me.

[Satrana]

I had the chance to make this CD real life check for 1.5 years now. This time set quite a few things for me into perspective that I never would have realized with periodical dressing. I am thankful for that.




I think it takes some of us a long time to find out where on the gender spectrum we're most comfortable. I see it as a learning process. Revelation rather than evolution.

Two important points. Periodic crossdressing will never reveal to the person where on the TG spectrum they fit and it will also obscure the reasons why they need to crossdress. The solution is to set aside time to routinely crossdress, preferably on a daily basis. Obviously this is much easier done when single. After a period of continuous crossdressing you will learn many truths about yourself and what it means to you. This will allow you to move on with your life and avoid many of the pitfalls that others succumb to through better judgment and understanding.

[DawnRodgers]

My experience has led me to conclude that Cd is an evolving experience that will change concepts, awareness and desires. It doesn't happen as an all at once change. It is definitely an evolving process for me.
I first dressed out of curiosity. What did the various items feel like. Panties, nylons, breasts sticking out - that kind of thing. What was it like to walk in heels, polish your nails, usde make-up. How did it feel, how did I look? Yes it quickly morphed into a self satisfaction spoasm of activity. How could it not. But a serious CDer. Not at all. Events were randomly done with no thoughts of not doing them in secret. Go out in public? Not very likely. Meet with someone? Are you crazy? How would I ever contact someone? Are there even others like me?
I graduated to reading magazines and books that contained pics and stories. All intensified my fantasies and activities. I wrote to others and traded experiences and fantasies. Would I ever meet them? Unlikely. I think that over 30 years I had contact through the mail with about 5 people - most with a one time letter, some with no more than three letters. I marreied, raised a family and dressed seldom. But it always was there in the background. Never gone, never forgotten. Just put aside in the needs of family, job and such. Never heard much, mor thought much of transitioning. Heard stories of sex changes but few and far between.
Then came the computer age. Woiw. Contacts were easier. Sites and pics abounded. Through the years of little contact, I certainly felt more comfortable when dressed. Always enjoyed it, always felt more comfortable, more like myself. Along with the massive amoiunt of graphical material, both in pictures and writing, the ideas that were always in the back of my mind and in my fantasies got bigger and bolder.
A number of circumstances also contrived to engender the feeling that I truly wanted to experience a relationship as a girl. All of my activity for the longest time was strictly self erotic. I wanted to see if I could appear to be a woman and perform as one. Never considered myself as a woman but did fantasize often about being one.
The dam broke after my first experience with another. Nothing ever happened with my wife, from a sexual nature. Her response was always "if I wanted to be with a woman I'd have been with a woman". Hard to argue that. Frankly, I didin't want to be with a woman wither.
I had gradully, over the years, had a mind set change. I felt more natural, loved how I felt when dressed, missed the opportunities mopre and more, thought about it all of the time when I wasn't dressed.
At this point in my life as Dawn I woulkd gladly live my life as Dawn - but my early relationships hold me back. I have been with few men and have totally enjoyed every last minute. It is about all I fantasize about these days. Have no desire to be with a woman as Dawn. I welcome their attention and their contact. All of thoise thoughts are pleasurable and welcome. I am more feminiune in natuere than masculine. I prefer women for friendships and men for romance. What does that make me? I don't really know for sure. Actually feel that I am still evolving. Hope so.

[PaulaJaneThomas]

Two important points. Periodic crossdressing will never reveal to the person where on the TG spectrum they fit and it will also obscure the reasons why they need to crossdress. The solution is to set aside time to routinely crossdress, preferably on a daily basis. Obviously this is much easier done when single. After a period of continuous crossdressing you will learn many truths about yourself and what it means to you. This will allow you to move on with your life and avoid many of the pitfalls that others succumb to through better judgment and understanding.

I agree with you here although I wouldn't have used the absolute "never". I think it's also important to interact with other people. And not just spouses or other TGs. I think it's important to interact with people in the wider community.

[LaurenS.]

I'm so in tune with Veronica on this. For years my dressing has been something I did for the same reason I think most of us do. The desire to wear female clothing and feel feminine and look like a woman as much as possible. But lately my desires have become more than that. Now when (as Veronica says) I get that dreamy, yearning feeling it entails much more than dressing. The waves of femininity that come over me take my breath away. Everything about me changes and I feel things I've never felt before. I don't know if I have a hormone imbalance or what is happening but things are certainly different. Earlier I was content to dress periodically and glad to get back in my male persona. Now I don't leave my female persona unless I have to. I love being female and am caught in the eye of the pink fog storm! I would love to go on hormones and have FF surgery and eventually SRS. I feel so much more female than I ever imagined possible for me.
We are certainly all different and feel differently about who and why we are. For me, my dressing has evolved into my becoming much more feminine and enjoying it so much more than ever. I love woman and being surrounded by them. I could leave my masculinity behind and never look back.

LaurenS.