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View Full Version : A Transwoman in Santa Cruz



Maggie Kay
09-13-2007, 04:52 PM
Here is another adventure of your average transoman. My SO and I are taking a plotter to Santa Cruz CA for a depot repair. I use plotters in my business. After we dropped the plotter off at the repair shop, we stroll down the street to a nice coffee shop with an outdoor sitting area. Curiously, it was across the street from a Starbucks. Just as we came upon the entrance, I saw one of the other members of the Transexual support group that I went to last summer. You might remember that my SO asked me not to go back.

We had made eye contact but at a distance. We go into the shop and Jessie and friend come in also. She (Jessie was her name and is in her twenties) was dressed in a charcoal black tee shirt and dark navy jeans and is with a GG so I can see that she is in boy mode. I am in my usual long pony tail, earrings, big women's shirt, navy ladies slacks and a black leather ladies shoulder bag. We get our coffees and they are right behind us. I could hear her talking behind me as I ordered and I knew that it was really Jessie.

OK, this could get weird. What if Jessie wants to chat? If that happened my SO is going to be very uncomfortable. However, I was just dying to talk to Jessie. But if I did, she might be just as upset if she is not out to her friend. We go out to the outdoor sitting area and chose a table at the end of the section. It was a partitioned area so passers by couldn't walk through. The partition was a metal railing.

After a few minutes, Jessie and the GG come out with their coffees. Jessie looks at me knowingly and I look at her with as much of a smile as I could without causing a stir. She returns a pseudo smile and walks away. Oddly, I kept wishing that she would come back. I really wanted to chat but I knew that was not possible. The odds of meeting were astronomical. We live 40 miles away and I go to Santa Cruz about once every two years. It was nice to see Jessie all the same.

However, the adventure was about to take a dark turn. I popped in my Ipod earbuds and started listening to an audiobook. I was listening to Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. It was getting to the final dramatic confrontation between Harry and Valdemort when I noticed that there was a man in his twenties glaring at me. He was dressed in sports clothes with a Chicago Cubs hat and team jersey. He had a cup of coffee but instead of going in the sitting area, he sat on the curb out on the street.

Every few minutes he would walk back and forth past our table but on the sidewalk and then sit down again and glare at me. He became more an more agitated until finally he said something to me. I could not hear what he said because of the IPod and didn't look at him directly. He was only a few feet away and now walking faster and faster like a big cat in a cage ready to devour a victim. My SO and I looked at each other and I said, "We are in trouble".

She had been knitting, had her back turned to him and didn't realize what was going on. I said that there was this man acting strangely and that he said something to me. She said she heard him mutter some unintelligible words but one was crystal clear. "KILL".

We sat there as if nothing was wrong as he paced and paced past us. There were others on the street but we were the only people in the sitting area. We whispered "lets go into the coffee shop and wait there when he passes us again". She packed up her knitting and I put away my Ipod. Amazingly, he didn't return, instead of sitting down he just kept walking. We dashed into the coffee shop and prepared to leave by the rear entrance. At this, we found out why our stalker left. There in the coffee shop was a policeman getting a coffee. He had come in by the back entrance. The stalker would have seen him at the counter.

This story is rather odd in that Santa Cruz is a very diverse city. It is a local center of LBGT and there were gay men walking arm in arm on the street. Why this nut case threatened me is a total mystery. I did nothing to him and was not even trying to get his attention.

AmberTG
09-13-2007, 06:48 PM
All I can say is that there's a lot of weird people out there that do weird things for no understandable reason. That guy sounds like a nut case. Maybe he was a white supremist , there's enough of them around, even in diverse places. They're very intolorant of anyone that doesn't fit their "mould" Even the fundamentalist christians aren't that crazy!

Joy Carter
09-14-2007, 12:45 AM
You always have to watch out for white Christian males. But I didn't see that in the description Kay gave. Hmmmm. Must just be that all nut cases are W C M .:rolleyes:

Maggie Kay
09-14-2007, 09:47 AM
He was white but I could not know his religion. He could have been a mental case but was not a street person. His hair was cut short and his clothes were new. Pretty neat and clean. He seemed to have singled me out immediately. So there was something about me that really infuriated him.

Sierra
09-14-2007, 09:37 PM
Love is the dominent quality of the God and his Son true christians would imitate.and yes some mixed up socalled believers may judge and hate and they too will be judged by their deeds like us all.Love to you Joy [I hope I'am a true christian ] someday I'll find out:hugs::

Wendi {LI NY}
09-16-2007, 10:20 PM
ALWAYS<ALWAYS beware of your surrounding! THERE ARE MANY NUTS OUT THERE !! I am glad you and your S>O got out of there .. hugs,Wendi

Calliope
09-17-2007, 10:18 AM
Thanks for sharing. That was two stories, I think. The latter, however scary at the time, seems ultimately trivial - most likely that kook sought out a queer-positive space to ostensibly menace, but, you know ... The real story is the first, which shows behavior being policed by the subjects. Obviously, you and your SO need to figure something out so you don't lose out so needlessly, nor her play the villian so effortlessly. Um?

Maggie Kay
09-17-2007, 11:07 AM
Calliope,
Yes, it is two stories from the same location and they occurred only minutes apart. My being isolated from other transexuals is an unsaid requirement by my SO. I am allowed to participate in the forum. She would not like it if I was taught how to put on makeup or how to shop for clothes. Rather, we just go on pretending that I am still male but only superficially. She only called me Kay or Maggie for a few times but now calls me by my male name. She knows it grates on me but does it anyway.

We go on with me in a suspended state of partial transition. Seeing Jessie only makes it harder for me to cope. I really liked that group. When that gender therapist treated me so callously, and she begged me to not return to him (and the TS group he leads), I felt like I was cut off from all help. Her problem with him is that he also has groups for BDSM and she was an abused child so that subject is really terrifying to her.

I am in limbo, can't go forward, can't go back but internally I am constantly churning and churning, struggling to be free. When that guy threatened me, part of me said "Go ahead, put me out of my misery"

melissaK
09-18-2007, 05:03 AM
Good analysis of the two stories.

On story one - ah the compromises we make in the quest of companionship. I think Carl Sagan said it well in his movie "Contact" when the alien in the guise of the girls father memory comments that as a specie we are interesting, but "so alone."

On story two. I think of Bill Cosby's old comedy routine about riding NY subways - "a nut in every car." The only way to avoid being drafted into the cast of an impromptu street theatre scene by a nut is to be aware of your surroundings. And the i-pod is terrible at letting you do that. (But they are such a wonderful tool for escape, it is hard to resist the daydream world they induce. Hmm, maybe mine could be the antidote to the Pointer Sisters and I could get some sleep . . . )

hugs to all,
'lissa (princess of insomnia tonight)

Pamela Julie
09-20-2007, 11:29 AM
K, I am so happy you got out of there safely! There are nut cases everywhere, I think more here in the deep south than elsewhere, maybe not. Here in the south you will find on occasion so called Christians chasing you down the street shouting Bible verses, out of context, at you, while condemming you to hell. I have seen this many times over the years, once being the victim of the attack. I was just looking at a beautiful woman wearing revealing clothes. I was dressed and looked like the normal male in his late 30's that I was at the time. Now 20 years later, it still bothers me, and I get mad every time I see it happen to others. If I knew the person, and could prove how the attack affected me, I would have a case to sue for emotional trauma. People like this give lay Christians that honestly try to spread the word of God a bad name, a real shame. Fortunately I had no reason to fear for my safety. I do hope future outings go much better for you.

With love and respect,
PJ

Maggie Kay
09-20-2007, 12:29 PM
I wonder if I would have had the same experience if I was more passable. Right now, I look like a sissy man and get more looks because I don't look like a woman but clearly am not a regular guy. I am having a long talk with my SO to see if she will agree to help me go full time so I can pass better and avoid being so easily read by nut cases. She doesn't like that aspect at all because then we will be considered to be the "L" word.

AmberTG
09-20-2007, 12:53 PM
Kay, you should remind her that women hang out with their friends all the time, usually preferring the company of other women then the company of men when shopping or doing other social things. I think her problem with the "l" word is simply because she's too self-concious about it herself. It's kinda like us with pierced ears thinking "OMG, everyone's gonna know I'm a CD" because of it. Nobody else gives it a second thought, we're just paranoid.

ToyGirl
10-09-2007, 01:55 AM
Even perfectly 'normal' people get harrassed / bashed / raped for no reason.

Niya W
10-16-2007, 05:46 PM
kind of shocked that happened in Santa Cruz. Santa Cruz pride was the only pride I have ever been to that did not have a protesters.

Maggie Kay
10-16-2007, 05:58 PM
Clearly it was a person who was hunting and I was an obvious target. I'll be smarter next time.