The Lazy/ Worried Crossdresser

[missattitude]

Hello, all. Have you ever felt the need to portrait the masculine side of yourself because you were to worried or lazy to really do the things that you know you would enjoy doing. I have been crossdressing since I can remember, and part of me want to like shave all the time dress to the max, ect.. My circumstances are pretty laid back as far as other cd's have to go threw. For one, I am gay, which I can observe that most of CD's are not, which I find akward. Second, I live with my partner and his old ex(long story don't want to talk about that). I feel that I have to act a certain way to make other people feel at place with me rather than being or doing what I truly enjoy doing. I have been feeling like this for quite some time in my life, and was wondering if any of you have gone threw certain situations like this, even though (like I said before, are not gay).Im 23, and try to keep a balance rel. with my family(by the way, every one knows that I crossdress and am gay). I still try to portrait that what I am is not a part of me or hide it so deep down inside I had to drink and drug about it for years. Now that I am over the addiction part of my life, trying to feel comfortable. I know coming to terms with everything will take time, but it is diffucult at times. When I am by myself I feel better and more secure about things than around other people because I am to worried what others think. It is one thing to say I feel comfortable but to actually feel it all the time is diffucult. There are other variables that I am not going to talk about right now, but for now just curious to see if anyone else has felt like this and what they did to over come these feeling/ to be yourself. ITs not like I don't like being masculine, I do,I just need to feel more comfortable with what I am and what I am doing will make me feel better as a person and I think become more achieavable in a profesional world as I am also going to school.
Thats all for nowe

Miss Thangzzz....

[MarinaTwelve200]

Do you have any idea WHY you cross dress? Being "gay", I assume that your CD has nothing to do with your sexuality or gender issues, but rather addresses some other need or comfort/pleasure issue.

Is it "thrilling" (as in the sense of a taboo breaking or "social risk")?in ? Is it an "escape"? Is it a form of "relaxation" or stress releif? Do you have a "fem side that needs expressing like some hetros do?

Despite the mythic stereotype that CDing is a big gay thing, usually done because they identify with women and /or want to attract men, HOWEVER. when you think about it One would think that a gay guy would likely be LESS inclined to CD, than a hetro male with a sexual attraction to women and women's things. But something must drive gay CDers, I suspect that they are the same things that drive the HETRO CDers ---that is the ones who CD for NON -TS reasons, like SM, Thrills, Identity escape, Taboo tripping, and stress releif.

But perhaps I AM wrong. Do non TS gays have fem sides and gender issues to address? What say you? Thanks for the info.

[missattitude]

Do you have any idea WHY you cross dress? Being "gay", I assume that your CD has nothing to do with your sexuality or gender issues, but rather addresses some other need or comfort/pleasure issue.

Is it "thrilling" (as in the sense of a taboo breaking or "social risk")?in ? Is it an "escape"? Is it a form of "relaxation" or stress releif? Do you have a "fem side that needs expressing like some hetros do?

Despite the mythic stereotype that CDing is a big gay thing, usually done because they identify with women and /or want to attract men, HOWEVER. when you think about it One would think that a gay guy would likely be LESS inclined to CD, than a hetro male with a sexual attraction to women and women's things. But something must drive gay CDers, I suspect that they are the same things that drive the HETRO CDers ---that is the ones who CD for NON -TS reasons, like SM, Thrills, Identity escape, Taboo tripping, and stress releif.

But perhaps I AM wrong. Do non TS gays have fem sides and gender issues to address? What say you? Thanks for the info.

When you say that I have GENDER ISSUIES, is VERY incorrect, for one. It is who I AM , not AN Issue. Second, I started to crossdress even before I found out that I was gay, so there were more issues that concern my CD that me being gay. I would think that crossdressing is more of any issue than being gay is, but that is my opinion. I crossdress the SAME reason you STRAIGHT crossdresers dress. I LOVE TO DRESS . It makes me Horny, feel good, I like to feel sexy, go out in public and all that sort of thing, just like all the other cd's around the world, the only thing that is DIFFERENT in me THAN most is that I AM GAY, and it is not an issue at hand. Most gay guys are more fem than most cd's that I know, to an extent. I have a very very fem side, maybe you read the post wrong or I did not explain it better either way its fine.
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\Miss thanhgzz/...

[MarinaTwelve200]

I think we both read each orhers posts a bit wrong, I DID NOT say you had gender issues, but rather I didnt think you did.

ANYWAYS, thanks for the insight into how CD may be for gays, its closer to Hetro CD than I thought, and suggests even more interesting factors in CDing than I was aware of.

[Jennaie]

A little miscommunication took place here, but a very interesting conversation and very educational.

Thank you both.